Lovely. Shel Silverstein would be proud.

SamDamnit!
Rectum Rector
of
The Church of Poop
http://groups.myspace.com/THECHURCHOFPOOP

This poo was a daily experience for 4 years of my life, thanks for memorializing it, well done.

Ah, the wonders of alcohol. I've never had "hangover poo", but I have had carrot shit and coconut crap that resemble this problem.

I loved the ending with the clogging toilet.

All correct and well versed. Butt...After a GOOD stoli night, my poop floats.?....
BTW
Who is Shel Silverstein?

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

Shel Silverstein: He wrote funny and poignant poetry for children. He passed away in the late 80s I think?

Thanks, 2nd offering being penned as we speak, watch out!

This is a powerful warning, let us all heed its wisdom.

"The first wipe's a friggin' nightmare
(please ensure to fold paper in two).
Yet even in this strengthened state
you've soaked it right the way through."

*sheds a tear*

*applause*

Excellent job :)

And for Shel Silverstein:
http://www.shelsilverstein.com/indexSite.html

I felt like i really related to this i often experience the hang over poo however i know that ben my lover will always be there to wipe my arse
faece out!

Gotta love the power of liquor. I have not had too many hangover poo's. I usually get constipated from too much alcohol.

I have had the Olive Oil poo, and those can be very messy.
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"If December be changeable and mild, the whole winter will remain a child."

Kudos Kudos! I think Mr. George Eliot Buterz is a true poet laureate!

I've never had hangover poo, but I have had garlic and onion poo that smells bad enough to make paint peel. Carrot poo is also pretty icky, I have to say.

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An apple a day keeps the ExLax away!

This poem gives me the strength of will to go poo now. Yes, I was up celebrating being done with finals last night. Now instead of fear, I look forward to the poetic justice that is hangover poo. It brings a tear to my eye (that, or thd beer farts).

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Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Digestion is one of the functions that help make us all individuals. I eat about a pound of carrots a day, and some of the finest, most supple turds of my life are the result. Also, the wipe is usually merely a nod to convention, as I rarely see the slightest trace of color on the paper. Like with so many other foods, once you've primed your system you might be surprised to find how easily you can digest what used to create havoc when you used to eat it only sporadically.
Side note: I've started mixing in the skins of about 3 or 4 potatoes, and the impressive binding power of that fiber is leading me to believe I've found crap Nirvana. Almost a crime to flush some of these trophies. I wish there was a gallery on this site where we could post photos of some of the products that give us such momentary pleasure. Ah, like first love, so transitory, ephemeral.... Mr. Butterz's work has put me in a poetic frame of mind. I believe I'll go read some more of the sonnets of E. Barrett BrownRing.

A pound of carrots EVERY DAY?!? Is your skin orangey?
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"NEVER. ENOUGH. BACON!"--GoBoy

Carrots don't have that effect on me. I exaggerated, though: I don't eat them on weekends, only weekdays. I'm not kidding about that, and I've not noticed any tint to my skin (no one has mentioned one to me, either). A pound of carrots isn't that much, just one bag of those "baby" carrots, as a point of reference, although I've begun eating only unpeeled carrots to avoid missing out on the vitamins and fiber. I realize I should cut back, because I'm overdosing myself on vitamin A, but I'm hooked on the flavor and it's a great substitute for high calorie or high fat snacks. Tons of good stuff in those things, but now I'm worried about the orange skin effect. Oh well, one less thing to spend money on: tanning salons!

Arrrgh! Now you've got me freaked about carrots. I looked at dietician.com and you're right! I'm going to turn orange if I don't cut this out! At least the vitamin A thing is really mostly beta carotene in carrots, but it seems that those stories of orange people are true! Holy fecolith! And I just bought five pounds of 'em yesterday!
GottaGoGirl, thanks for the wakeup call on this! I'm heading to McDonalds right now to start undoing what I've done.
I found a web site that said Susan Dey couldn't be on the last two seasons of Brady Bunch because part of her eating disorder involved eating almost nothing but carrots, and she turned so orange they couldn't get her makeup right any more...... I think that's what happened to that Danny Partridge kid, too, except his color was natural, or maybe he was just a crappy actor, but still.....
What next? Potato skins are bad for you?
I'm not eating another thing until my skin is pasty and white again. Crap! I think I'm suffering hair loss or something!
Spread the word: Children, if you're parents are making you eat your carrots, report them to someone.
On the way home from McDonalds I'm going to stop and pick up some cigarettes. What the hell, my life is just about over, what's a little emphysema at this point?
Signed,
Conflicted Former Vegetable Lover

I experienced a couple of hangover poos in college when I was taking Freshman Idiocy 101. I survived the course, learning my lesson well.
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Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Bugs, (great moniker, btw), I knew about the carrot thing because my mom had a friend when I was a kid who got on a kick of carrot juice drinks. This was before smoothies, but it was kind of like that, but with the base of carrot juice. (*shudder*) She was drinking at least 2 every day, for breakfast, lunch, and sometimes dessert. At 8 oz of carrot juice a pop, she was ingesting A LOT!

My mom and her other coworkers started noticing she looked a little funny. Finally, someone mentioned it to her, but she said, "Nah..." But another couple weeks, and one of the docs walked up to her and said, "OMG! You have serious liver malfunction! Come with me RIGHT NOW!"

She was admitted and quarantined in case it was hepatitis. They ran batteries of tests, but finally figured out it was too much damn carrot juice. True story.
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"NEVER. ENOUGH. BACON!"--GoBoy