thats quit unique! hehe.

Come on guy, we all talk on cell phones while shitting, what's wrong with a little multi-tasking?

I think it's infringing on the rights of others. Many of us want solitude when we shit... we don't want to have to listen to some jerk babble to some other jerk. But the bigger question: as supporters of the shameless shitting doctrine, we support being able to shit at the office with impugnity, and to not be scared what others are thinking of you. However, it was always implied that those "others" are in the bathroom along with you. How is shameless shitting affected when you're sharing your shitting with people on the phone?

I just felt bad for the other half of the cell phone conversation. I mean, when you walk into a bathroom, you're ready for anything - you've prepared yourself mentally for what goes on in there. When you pick up the phone, the last thing you expect to hear is shitting. I would imagine that it gets even worse when you have to talk to the person who is bringing the ruckus. You can't ignore them like in a normal bathroom situation.

I LOVE "MULTITASKING!" I CAN SUCCESSFULLY RELEASE MY LOAD, BRUSH MY TEETH, CALL THE OFFICE AND TELL THEM I'M RUNNING LATE, EAT A POP-TART, AND SMOKE A ***** ALL AT THE SAME TIME. NOW THAT'S DEDICATION. IF TIME (AND THE AMOUNT OF EXCREMENT TO EXPELL) PERMITS, I HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO WRITE POETRY AND EVEN DO A LITTLE HAND-BALLING. LADIES, I'M SINGLE!

I used to have a female friend who would often call and launch into these neverending phonecalls (though I'm a female too I find yapping on the phone boring but could never find the heart to cut her off) Anyhow, I was appalled the first time I heard these odd noises while she was talking, various echoing sounds & odd acoustics, and she was grunting a bit and breathless while talking away continuously, and then there was this whooshing/roaring sort of noise and then the unmistakable gurgling of a toilet being flushed! So I said to her, hey, where you taking a shit while talking to me?!! And she says, Yeah, so, I had to go. I was so grossed out at this image of her on the toilet straining away and shitting and talking to me. But after the first time, got used to the interesting array of noises and gurgles as she apparently would always be overcome with an irresistible urge to shit as soon as she got on the phone to me...

lol...same thing happens when my sisters get on the phone. one of them immediately has to go and they claim it's not planned. so now, when one of them is "backed up" and desperate, she makes the call. with a good long distance plan, it's cheaper than laxatives!

Hello,

my coment is this website is crazy funny. I think i will tell all my friends about it

Yours truely

WOOGIE

I emptied my dokie shute

ahh, shit. Everyone does it. I would prefer if people woould do it on their own time and not mine. Once I was talking to a person (term used loosely)on the phone and she asked me to hang on a minute. So I do an I here sounds I don't need to hear, so I hung up. The person (term again used loosely) called me back to see what happened to me. I explained and she said "I just had to wipe". No! No thank you. Bye

Talkin' bout multitasking...I'd be kinda cool to have a toilet in the shower and take a shit while showering..

Turdchunker:

I had a NYC apartment with the toilet in the shower stall for 2 years. There was no sink in the bathroom. Shit/shower/shave simultaneous was a part of life.

I almost miss it sometimes...

I've had the reverse happen. I was at the ballpark, settling down to a nice and relaxing shit (it's the nachos and halapenos, don't you know...) when I hear the person in the next stall answer his cell phone. He's trying to play it off, saying he's in the car heading somewhere, so I decide to give him some "music" to talk to.

Mmmmm...hot juicy farts and unmistakable turd splashes....

I don't have a problem with someone shitting and using the phone at the same time IF they dont call me

using the phone whilst pooping is great and all, but for the ultimate multitask ... I'm typing this whilst filling the shitter! Long live shameless shitting!

that was just nasty. i hate it when people call me and they're on the shitter. why call ME? do i make it easier to shit or something? honsestly. i don't care if they pee, but shit? especially if they have the hershey squirts and you can hear all the liquid and solid chunks of poop hit the sides of the porcelin god. its just kinda gross.

I heard on "Jobs that suck" that airline people have to take calls all the time like this. Somebody said "I head grunts, splashes, dribbles, and stuff I prefer not to talk about"

I have developed a term for a phenomenon that I refer to as "Whemying." This phenomenon refers to "the holding in of feces for a few minutes (from two to three minutes up to perhaps as long as a half hour or so) in order to experience the good feelings associated with fecal matter (usually referred to as "a turd") as it stimulates the nerves of the rectum and, perhaps as well, places pressure upon (in the case of males) the prostate gland." The "whemying feeling" comes and goes every few minutes as the fecal matter stimulates the nerves and leads to some really good feelings "something akin to an orgasm."

I would like to know if any of you out there ever engage in such a phenomenon, or perhaps know of someone who does such a thing. If so, please let me know.

My feeling is that children, as well as some adults, do such a thing, but never talk about it (the fact of their whemying), because it would be such a horribly embarrassing thing to admit to!

As a psychologist, I have had a really tough time getting people to take me seriously about investigating the phenomenon "whemying." No doubt, this is the case, since it is such an embarrassing topic. But as we all know, at least according to Sigmund Freud, the anus is an errogenous zone, and quite a few people find it sexually exciting to engage in the giving or receiving of anal stimulation---------------So why couldn't (or wouldn't) "whemying" be capable of bringing a reasonable degree of pleasure to some folks?

I really do want to find out if people do such a thing as "whemying," so if you have any information about this, please do let me know.

Thank you very much.

Doug Soderstrom, Ph.D.

Psychologist

dougsod@wcjc.cc.tx.us

Doug Soderstrom! I whemy for five minutes, not for pleasure, but because it reduces the effort and it makes the BM more complete.

Well, I must say, that if someone had a handy in the WC and was using it, and I heard him fart, or whatever, on the other end (no pun intended) I think that I would just bust a gut laughing!

C'mon you closeted shameless shitters, COME OUT OF THE (water) CLOSET! Let's stop pretending that you are shameful! In hte GLBT world, it is said that the most vocal homophobe who gay bashes, is most likely one himself -- but closeted! Same holds true to those so-called 'shameful shitters' as they ARE the creme de la creme of the shameLESS! LIBERATE YOURSELVES NOW!

There are a few places I can't stand people talking on the cell phone.
1. The restaurant.
2. The car. (Unless they have a headset.)
3. The public toilet.
Usually when someone is on the toilet talking business on the phone while I'm trying to relax I make as many rude noises as possible until they hang up. Hey! It's a bathroom. Take a break from your yuppie tight-ass work for at least ONE minute out of every day. And if you can't, leave me out of it! Inconsiderate PC assholes!

You forgot the other most horrible places to talk on your cell phone! In the class room, in a movie theatre, or during a meeting.

That was quite a bold move, fone shit 35 dollars a fart

I just got back from droping a few turds. Well, That Man on the cell phone sounded sorta annoying. But anyway it's a funny story.

Turdchunker,
go to Russia if you want that kind of toilet. My dad went over there 2 years ago and he said that the hotels have a shower/toilet

OK. Although I'm a shameless shitter and proud of it, I think it's ridiculous to be talking on the phone while on the crapper. It's just wrong. Just plain wrong. I have this friend who talks to me on the phone while crapping, so I just tell him I'll call him back later. It's repulsive and vomit-inducing, so don't even bother trying.

I have done this before, but I make sure that not a sound comes from below while on the phone, and this being on my own potty at home.

I agree with The Shit Volcano. I think its rude, arrogant, and totally unnecessary. I was in a hotel restroom and it was on a break so there weas lots of activity. All stalls and urinals occupied, sounds of shit, farts, piss and flushes. In the last stall--the handicappedone no less--some asshole was on a conference call with a man and a woman. The woman was understandably uncomfortable which I could tell by her voice. How shameless is THAT? I would have loved to barge in, grab the phone and drop it between his legs just to make a point.

I think its rude to talk on a cell phone while taking a shit because you never know, you might make a fart that echoes while shitting. I do not do that myself.

whemying? ok whatever... I sometimes hold back when I need to take a shit. I love those contractions that start off gently enough and dont interfere with whatever I happen to be doing at the time but gradually become more persistant and I gotta go to the toilet. I can stand enjoying the feeling of a weighty turd slowly forcing its way out and clenching the muscles in my arse and stopping the thinh in its tracks brings on some amazing sensations. I saw my face in the bathroom mirror as I was standing there gripping the sink, and boy what an expression! my eyes were kinda glazed my mouth open a little bit and the weird thing was my face looked really pale - like id lost all colour... the tricky bit is to hold on cos once the shithead makes an appearance things can happen pretty quick, so using a good technique I can hold that mother in for a time. When it gets to the point when I'm shaking and shuddering and appreciative vocal sounds are escaping from between my lips ( and im not talking about farting) I gotta drop my jeans and ease over to the pan - this is a 'will I or wont I' senario - but once there I muster up and heave out in one almighty movement whatever beauty has been begging for release. This is a totally indulgent self satisfying anal treat - its just the buisness.

I've recently discovered the thrill of pooping in public loos - its fun, its daring. But settling a business deal by cell phone whilst shitting? Nah, thats just wrong, you have to draw the line somewhere. Whats more, these "turd talkers" obviously don't have an ounce of respect for anyone else in other cubicles. Personally when I'm launching a log, I don't want to hear some dude discussing stocks and shares - I want to have a clear mind.

I gotta agree with you fellow whemyers. I get such a thrill out of holding it in, and it just gets better and better the longer you leave it. What a sensation!

I love a good shit, I really do. I want to open my bowels for the lot of you and share the delights of my tunnel!

Personally, I get off the phone. Butt...I don't mind someone else on the phone. I try extra hard to be anally verbose if someone is talking in the stall next to me. Hopefully trying to close a deal. I "try" for a power dump, soup with chunks and gas is the best. A few grunts, maybe even say "shit, I'm not eating at that fuc**n place anymore". I enjoy the silence after. Occasionally, there is muted laughter. Its nice to be appreciated. (!)

this is a funny web site its so cool

its not SHIT LOL

The feeling of shamefullness always comes across me when I'm talking to someone and suddenly hear a "flush" in the background. I totally loose any recolection of the previous conversation. I on the otherhand frequently shit while on the phone. I do udually save the flush till after I hang up. Hey, if ya gotta go, ya gotta go.

This article was funny, strange and really provided a variety of responses. I giggled as I read some of them.

Here's my question if you're male in the john who is shitting and experiencing "whemying" that Dr. Soderstrom describes above while simultaneously receiving oral stimulation in the form of fallatio and you're talking on your cell phone, would this be the elusive triple-play?

1) Whemy
2) Whammy
3) "Why Me?" (guy on the other end of the conversation)...

There is a much funnier story and comment thread on this same subject under "This Is Not A Phone Booth."

I am another who detests self-important yuppie types who need to feel that they, and their time, are more important than anyone or anything else.

Hey--my use of the word "yuppie" sorta dates me, doesn't it? All the yuppies are getting old now. What do you call today's equivalent?

_______
"Say, has anybody seen my sweet Gypsy Rose Volcano?"

Justin's line:

"...nobody wants to listen to you crap over the phone..."

This gave me an entirely different visual than he intended. Ewww.

Awhile back, I visited a auto wrecking yard to get parts for my classic car. All the junk cars were lined up rank and file forming walkways between the cars. As I turned to walk down between the cars there were two guys,one standing and his buddy squatting. The 'Squatter' was in a quasi sitting postion with his back against the car with his pants down taking a shit. His standing friend appeared to be a lookout but clearly was daydreaming since I crept up on them so easily.When I turned the corner,all three of us were taken aback. The squatter was so embarrased,that he turned his head in the direction away from me,covering his face with his hands. His standing friend was so flustered,that the only thing he could do was emit a nervous laugh,his face a bright red. His stacatto laugh was a forced, he,he,he,he. What else could he say?I caught them dead to right. When the standing guy went into his third group of he,he, I turned and briskly walked away,trying not to laugh. Awhile later, I carefully returned to the site and not surprisingly, the two guys were gone. They only left their pile of shit.

MN, not to get off topic, but what kind of classic car do you have?

When it comes to talking while defecating I must mention my brother. Even when my wife and I are at their house visiting and my bro needs to drop off the kids at the pool, he'll sit there with the door open (its just off the living room) and shit up a storm while conversing. Its funny in a rather disturbing way to hear him break off in mid sentence, grunt and groan, hear a splash, and have him resume speaking right where he left off. It bugs the hell out of my sister-in-law, grosses out the wife and I, and God knows what effect it has on his kids.

Anomalous, I'm surprised you didn't say all that in rhyme. ;-)

Public toilet phone conversations is where I draw the line. That and in people talking on a cell phone while they are driving in the car (at 30mph in a 65mph zone) grrrrr.

But bathroom conversations are rude.(JOE) Hey Mac, where are you? (MAC) Taking a dump plunk plunk plunk. (JOE) so I hear. (MAC) hang on while I wipe my ass, oh no a million wiper, hang on. (JOE hangs on) (TOILET) woshhhhhhh, chugalugalug. Now is that a good conversation? Poor old Joe forgot what he had to say to Mac.
_______
It's not nice to fool mother nature.

What really drives me nuts is when some jackass uses one of those walkie-talkie phones while she is on the crapper. Fortunately, those are going out of style with the yuppy set.

_______
I was a category five! Category five, I tell you! Get it right or I'll be back to PROVE IT!!!!- Katrina

I would have started singing really loudly. Or grunting. Something obvious to piss the guy off.

_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Occasionally, I forget to turn off my work walkie when I go into the bathroom.

I clip it onto the hook on the back of the door, but if I forget and leave it live, of course I can hear the calls back and forth.

If someone's in the other stall, they have to hear it, too, but at least I don't TALK into it. Maybe it gives the other occupant some diversion.

One of these times, someone is going to call, "GGG what's your location?". Should I answer it, or let them wonder?

I better hope TSV isn't in the next stall!

I have held many a conversation while on the crapper. However, I must admit never while experiencing the BIG D. That's a bit much. And while I share this crap-and-chat philosophy, I would never partake of it in public.

Too funny!

_______
Sharp Shitter-Signing off

I am all for people enjoying the natural functions of their body in a healthy manner. It's just that I don't necessarily want to participate in your enjoyment. So consequently I do not answer calls nor carry them on while on the toilet, and I would get rather offended if someone else did.

I will, however, talk for hours while in the bathtub. But that's different.

I was a bit suprised to find this story about me but I can explain myself.

I was setting up a big contract with a company located in Kazakhstan. In Kazakhstan it is customary to close a big deal whilst unloading a big deal.

This is a symbolic ceremony in their country and I am not one to disrespect another persons culture.

As for the noise, damn them enchiladas.

I'm a Shameful, so if I'm in the feared position of using a work or public stall, I'm too worried about getting the job done to make or take phone calls. Even if I'm at home, throne time is personal time. I am not to be disturbed. If my wife is to ever bother me while on the porcelain lazyboy, I'll have to assume that the house is on fire.

It's all about texting in the john. Especially when at work - I used to wait tables - sometimes I would take a poop break just to text my fiance. If it's a longer and you get a response back, all the better!

I stumbled upon this site tonight, after dropping some kids off at the pool myself, and at first i was like "WTF?" but then i read some of it, its too funny...Cell phones in the shitter, shitters in the shower? funny stuff...

A very interesting thread! A couple of different comments.

Firstly, 'whemying'. Don't know if you still come on the site Doug, but yes, that's exactly what I do. Like Bricklayer, I love those amazing sensations, and usually hold on as long as I can - have been doing since I was a kid.

Secondly, the mobile thing. Like Justin, I heard someone talking in a stall at a railway station. I actually thought at first there were two people in there and thought, 'oh God, no'. Then I realised. I agree it's gross. Bad enough to have to listen to other peoples' mobile conversations as a captive audience in a railway carriage - one is at least entitled to a bit of peace and quiet in the shitter - natuaral noises apart. Apart from anything else, it almost seems to me disrespectful to the person being talked to. Unless possibly in private between partners who have a poop thing and want to share each others experiences. I'm still looking ..!!

Incidentally, the great Winston Churchill has been quoted recently on this site. Another of his quotes is relevant here. He was once 'sitting' at his country house when the phone rang. His aide called to him to tell him that a member of his Government was on the line for him. He growled, 'tell him I'm on the toilet, and I can only deal with one shit at a time.'

Hamster, Great WC quote!!
Producing waste since 1967

Thanks, Simone! Don't get me going on WC - he had some really great quotes, but that is the only one I know of that is relevant to this site! Like the pun by the way!

I took my phone to the can today and took a major dump and my friend never knew, or maybe he did and didnt wanna ask or comment. My babymama has called me and i noticed a couple of grunts during our conversation then a toilet flush. Shes shameless as hell i thought it was kinda funny.

Personally, I've never understood people's obsession with shitting being such a private thing. Whenever I'm on the phone with my cousin or best friend, we announce to each other whenever one of us has to take a powerdump. In the midst of the straining and grunting, we delight in describing the experience to each other (how hard we have to push, the consistency of the poo, how bad it stinks, etc etc). Why do we do this? Because we think feces are a source of pure comedy! I even trained my ex-girlfriend to shit on the phone with me...something she never would have dreamed of doing before she met me. I like to tease her about her "jalapeno popper poopies" while she's in mid-poop. It's all the in name of humor.

Befriend your shit!