Shameless, I usually announce my pooping itenerary and agenda on the way to the can, once done, I give a full report of the Sinker/Floater ratio as well as the texture and stench. I dislike Public restrooms for the unsanitary state, but when you gotta go , you gotta go.

I'd consider myself a fairly shameless shitter. I don't need to be anywhere special and I don't care who hears or smells me.

On the other hand, I can't pee if I think someone can hear me, let alone see me. The only exception to that rule is when I'm drunk, at which time I could pee in the Macy's window display without hesitation.

as previously stated under a different name on the forums, i'm a Shameless/Shameful hybrid. depending on my surroundings,i go back and forth. if i'm in an airport, surrounded by people i have never seen before and will never see again, i don't give a crap (no pun intended). if i'm in a local establishment or work, where the odds are i'll run into somebody again, i tend to be more shameful. since i'm a good 6 or 7 inches taller than the average stall, i sometimes duck down so as not to be seen by other shitters. blatant cowardice, i know. but i am what i am.

uh...75% percent shameless. i love shit (hell, im on this site), and i talk about it all the time...but there are a few things i wouldnt do in a public bathroom

I'm sadly shameful. Especially since the toilets at my work have no flush power. I logically do not care if someone walks in while I am shitting but my sphincter sure does pucker up. Must be something my mother instilled in me when I was young.

I would have to say shameless except about the part of how much time I like to spend taking a dump. As stated in one of my previous postings people in Asia don't understand why anyone would take more than 5 minutes pooping barring mental or physical sickness, so when at work I try to either make sure no one sees me enter the toilet or leave the toilet or, worst case, try to shit like the rest of Asia and complete the task in 5 minutes without blowing an O ring...

Back in the US I don't feel any shame about the length, stench or noise of my shits at home or in public.

I think that this whole business of "shameful" versus "shameless" shitters is being approached wrongly. Some folks want to confine the definition to folks who take a shit (or don't) in office building restrooms when other folks are around. Why? Not everyone works in an office building! To me the basic issue is do you take a shit when you need to? In other words, you gotta go and you go crap regardless of whether other folks can see you on the crapper or hear you or know that you have taken a shit. If you can do that, including taking a shit in an open stall (if that's all that is available) then you're a "shameless" shitter. If, on the other hand, you need to shit and put it off until you get home or find a better restroom or find a restroom where no one else is around you're a "shameful" shitter. Folks in the latter category will usually suffer 2-3 hours of discomfort (holding in a big dump) rather than expose themselves to others while dumping. If you use these definitions, then most of the folks here who claim to be "shameless" will have to be reclassified as "shameful."

Well, to tell the truth, you are right Dak. I probibly would not want to crap in an open stall with people looking. As far as that goes, though, open stalls are rare. I would use one if I were in sparce company, or in the company of people I know. But, on the otherhand, I would prefer a stall door. Most Americans live in the suburbs (46%?) and that is our grey area. People from the city of the country are less likely to be shameful due to climatazation. People in the suburbs are much more closed up though, and rarely associate with other people in their immediate environment. This leads to shamefullness amoung introversal people and extroversal people.

Dakota raises some interesting points. I wonder what the boundaries of "shamelessness" are. For instance, does shameless include the ability to shit on national TV (like during a Superbowl ad spot)? Or openly in front of you in-laws? Or more disturbingly, on someone (like a dare)? How about shitting on your lawn in front of your neighbors? Can anyone else think of a disturbing pooping scenario?

I both agree and disagree with Dakota. I believe shameless vs. shameful is relevant when we're talking about shitting in front of aquaintances. Not strangers, because most people don't have a problem with that. And not friends or loved ones, because most people don't have a problem with that. Shameful shitting is most prevelant when you will be caught by someone who knows you but you are not completely comfortable with.

So, by that definition, we are most often confronted with this situation at work. But it could also come up at school, or anywhere you are around people you know but not well enough to shit in front of. That is the true shameful/shameless issue.

Many people are deathly afraid to poop in an open toilet stall, knowing someone might watch. This has happened to me on several occasions, not with anyone I know watching, but nonetheless,with someone watching. A lot of people like to watch someone else poop, wipe, look at their facial expressions. Frankly, it's kind of arousing to know that you are arousing someone else by the act of pooping.It doesn't bother me to be watched in the least, and I enjoy watching others.

I love to shit! nothing in this world, besides sex, feels better than a good, colon cleansing, bowel rumbling, toilet bowl water splashing shit.

put me down as shamless!

Hey, the debate is starting to get real interesting! SP's examples are not examples of "shameless" shitting. They are examples of "exhibitionist" shitting. Shitting on the lawn in front of the neighbors, for example, would be done with the intention to shock or embarrass other folks. My definition for a "shameless" shitter is someone who needs to take a crap and does it in a restroom (which is a legal place to do it) with others around whether he/she knows the other folks or not. While everyone prefers a private stall, folks like me often have to use doorless stalls at work, for example. There we shit with other dudes around. You just get used to it and no one pays any attention. Another example, I usually play a double header of baseball on a Sunday. We have a gap of about 20 minutes between the two games. Many dudes need to take a crap then. The restroom at the field has two doorless stalls and we just all take a crap there. So these dudes are all "shameless" shitters because they need to take a crap and do it in the only available place. If there were a "shameful" shitter on the team, he would wait until the game is over and he has got home to take a crap in privacy. To me that is still the difference. With the example of the guys on the team, we know each other well, but are not real close so it is not too much different from the office situation with fellow workers. So using a restroom is an important criterion. The exception to this is when a dude is out hiking along a long trail and needs to duck into a clearing to take a dump. I do this all the time on weekends, but it is not done with the intention of shocking or embarrassing others, just with the intention of dumping my load when I need to.

I just want to take a moment to thank everone for contributing to my research so vividly, thank you all! Dave and me are taking all this to heart, so remember no to hold back, and feel free to debate as much as you need. This issue is worth it!

I'm fairly shameless... except around my girlfriend's parents. Then I'm hiding it like I had the plague.

And so it rages on, were now almost 75% saying were shameless, but I honestly think that most of us "shameless" folk have some shame. I only carry a little shame when I am at school, and everyones hanging out in the courtyard, right in front of the shitter door. Half of my psycology class would be out there, so if I got poo on my clothes or something, I would be trapped.

Definately shameless but most of the time i go to a different floor of the school just to make sure i dont know anyone while i take my shit. Heck, no one wants another girl hearing them poop. But most of the time i never have that problem at school

My story:

Last week, I went to visit my parents who live 3 hours away. My mom always makes dinner, and for dessert we had prune pie. I thought I was ok, and could make it back in 3 hours without the need to...well...you know :-)

Anyways, about an hour from my house, I realized I had to GO..but was in a bad area of town, and it was late at night (thus, no stores or restaurants to visit)...I tried to hold it in, but I couldn't...it just started to come out...I tried to control my bowel movements..but couldn't help it...to make a long story short, my leather ended up being REALLY dirty, and I had to take the car to be cleaned...I told the guy at the detailing shop that my dog had been sitting in my car when I went to do my groceries...that was embarassing..had to sit on garbage bags on my way to the shop...now I always take a plastic bag with me :-) LET THAT BE A LESSON TO YOU AMATEUR POOERS!! Until next time, love Jay.

I am definitly a shameless. I rarley take a dump at home, it is almost always at school or work. Especialy while at work. If I can get paid to shit on company time and nobody says andything, then why not?

I am a shameless shitter. While I don't make a song-and-dance about it, I don't give a fuck who knows I'm pitching a loaf. I'll even grab a magazine as I head to the head and say to whomever is within earshot, "I'll be in my office. Hold my calls."

And farting? The louder, the better. I love those really nasty ones. You know, the gawd-my-eyes-are-watering, funk-i-fied, sumpin-crawled-up-my-ass-and-died, blow-out-your-oh-ring, check-yer-drawers kinds of zingers. Man, those are great.

I am shameful, no doubt about it. I'm really not sure where I learned to be that way because no one in my family is shameful. I don't mind public places when it is a one-person bathroom and I can have some privacy - no problem there. A multi-person bathroom is not good but bearable as long as there are adequate stalls. A multi-person bathroom with no stall walls - forget it, I would have to be suffering badly before I would consider using it. And I really hate it when I have to take a crap at someone's house and it is usually loud or stinky. I don't like announcing to the world, "Hey, I just took a crap!", and that is what happens when its really loud or smelly. I guess the ultimate nightmare for me would be to have a case of the runs at a girlfriend's parent's house. That would be HELL.

As a psychologist I feel it is much healthier to be a shameless shitter. As a natural part of everyday existence evacuating ones bowels is no more shameful than pissing, fucking, sweating like a pig or hocking up a big one. I am strongly opposed to the more recent practice of the so-called "courtesy flush" that appears to be occurring with alarming frequency, especially in urban settings. Those who feel that a "courtesy flush" is a civilized and "PC" practice to spare the sensitive sensibilities of anyone else within earshot is merely deluding themselves and denying all of us the communal shared identity that is truly essential for our better mental health. And as a personal aside I group these characters in the same category with the self-appointed critics, censors, administrators, soccer moms, religious fundamentalists, Rosie-lovers, Kathie Lee wanna-bes, pseudo-scientific research directors, tv news readers-cum-"journalists", Britney Spears, affirmative action activists, and inappropriately high paid corporate executives. They should all be gutted in the town square and hoisted on their own petard.

Hey Doc...did you ever think that maybe the courtesy flush was to kill the odor of an expecially noxious crap? Man, this guy Hector that I used to work with would FUCKUP a bathroom. Your eyes would water, and your nose would burn. This fucker's ass what a death machine. People would be begging this guy for a courtesy flush.

As far as the poll goes --- I'm a shameless shitter. Who cares if someone sees you. Chances are you'll walk in and catch them shitting sometime too.

I am most CERTAINLY a shameless shitter. Though it pisses me off when people in the stall next to me make disparaging remarks about the loudness or stinkiness of my shit.

i shit like it's going out of style. i'm definately a shameless shitter. i have no mercy for toilets, i unleash the beast. hopefully the toilets always accept my offering, but one can only hope for the best. but yeah, i've been know to blow my O-Ring in the office. i can shit anywhere, anytime, for any reason. i love poopie.

Considering what I have done in my past time I would have to rank my self as a mischievous shitter.

But some times I am embarssed to go poo in front of people like my aunt

I go around takling about poo jokes and paying peos at my school to drop a few on the BR floor.whatever that means.

I'd have to say shameless but also perhaps mischevious too. Here's why: I worked for a freight forwarding company outside JFK airport. It was a boring job and I really disliked what I was doing. I heard that I was going to get fired on Friday afternoon by one of my coworkers. I went into the office usually inhabited by my boss while he was at lunch and unleashed a massive turd right on his chair. For good measure, feeling another one coming, with the aid of a little scrambling around I deposited another one on his desk.

He came back and lost his fucking mind...then his lunch...he was so sick he forgot to fire me as was his apparent intention. Monday the axe fell but I was happy, I fucked up his Friday but good.

Totally shameless. I'd rather soil myself on the painful ride home than go at work. Most women at my work do the "wait it out" method where they sit silently until you leave, but even that is too humiliating for me. Sad, isn't it?

Oops -- I meant shameFUL!!!!!!!!

Shameful. And I hate it. I get interrupted all the time at work cuz I can't finish the job if someone else walks in. I have even left work & gone home on occassion. It's a miserable life. I'm totally working on becoming more shameless, and this site is making my journey toward freedom much easier. Thank you all!

No shame. I'm proud of my shits. If I'm at work and I'm letting a pretty loose one go, as a courtesty I might hold back a bit. But otherwise, bombs away!

I just think people need to realize we all shit and it's nothing to be ashamed about.

Utterly shameful in public. Cant seem to make the same noise you make at home and in other places.

I must be a shameful shitter. You see I think that the act is rather a religious one. I like to commune with my gods whilst on the throne. I invoke my muse. I luxuriate in the sensations.

I prefer the slow release. Let it find its own way out. It is beyond my control. It happens. I enjoy the parting of the cheeks, the crinkling open of the anus, and the erotic feel of the turd sliding down from my bowel and past the anus ring and to freedom in the open air and then the plunge into the water.

It is a philosophical attitude. I do not wish to be disturbed whilst communing with the gods of poop.

I have to be in the right frame of mind. This necessitates being elsewhere. Not available to juniors with questions. I sometimes find a place of meditation on another floor.

I do not hurry the process. The time it takes is the time it takes. I enjoy the smell, the release and afterwards I sit back in blissfull mindlessness. My mind like my bowels is empty.

It is a zen moment. The achievement of nothingness. Made all the better by any serenity I can achieve.

After a while I am ready to rejoin the world. I am refreshed and ready for questions.

Shitting should be a happy event.

Happy shitting

Honkin' Ponk

PS I came across a Roman graffito on a wall outside the gladiatorial school in Pompei. It stated, in translation, 'Apollinarius, doctor to the Emperor Trajan had a bloody good shit here'.

Hi All,

Dr. Phil here, reminding you of the importance of proper bowel relationships. You and your significant other should respect each other's "poo time." Keep it sacred.

Here's to pooing in good sanity (and sanitation),

Dr. Phil

Definitely shameless. I walk out of the bathroom announcing the color, consistency (on the Moh's hardness scale), and number of TW's of each dump. Occasionally I get nostalgic and want to save one of the poops that's shaped like a famous person. I had one that looked like Richard Nixon last week, that happens a lot.

If you lose the shame it won't be funny anymore.

I was converted from Shameful to shameless during a fortnight using unisex toilets on a campsite, where the place resounded with the sound of shit every morning and evening, and not knowing if they were male or female, or even better knowing they WERE female, and them not knowing if YOU were male or female WILDLY improved the experience and turned me into a shameless shitter. I can even be a competitive shitter, i.e when someone is shitting in the next stall I like mine to be even more dramatic...

Relatively shameless. I still do not delight in strolling out of the crapper while management is in the room, but for the most part I'll let it fly regardless of how many people are in there. It has been a hard-fought war over my adult years, though.

Most office types are supremely shameful, though. I just caught a guy in my office (a big, lumbering oaf, no less) walking into the bathroom a few seconds ahead of me. He must have heard my shoes clacking on the tile because I see him, shirt completely untucked from his pants, handicrapper stall door swinging in the breeze, turn on his heel and head to the urinal.

I smiled the entire time during my extra long piss...

I am a shameless shitter! I shoud qualify that and say that I am shameless in making as much sound as possible on the toilet, but I AM ashamed if it's all very quiet! I hate dropping silent turds, but usually I drop ones that plop well, and love to be in the company of other guys equally uninhibited about their toilet sounds!

However, here in Britain toilets without doors are unknown, so all my shits in public have been behind a closed door, but I'd like the opportunity of shitting with a row of other guys all on show and all shamelessly plopping away on the toilets!

I am a total shameful shitter :( I have left work on numerous occasions to drive home (about 3 miles away) to go to the bathroom. If I'm home and my husband comments on or questions what I'm doing while in the bathroom I will get totally constipated! When I go to the rest room in public, or when I'm at a restaurant with friends, I will rush so that no one thinks I've taken a shit. Is this where the statement "anal retentive" comes from? The most bizarre thing is that I'm not embarrassed to fart or burp or anything else in public. I am a total exhibitionist and will show my tits to anyone...guess I'm just a lost cause! hahaha

I posted on another link about it but I don't understand why some people (esp.men) get so uptight about shit..it's probably the most gratifyingly natural thing our body does..we pee in public, we sweat in public, we blow our noses in public, so what gives?? At my university, there are several bathrooms with doorless stalls....so you just do it..I don't give a flying flip who sees me..if I don't know them well, it's no big deal, if I do know them, sometimes we even talk together on the hole...anyone who can't walk into a mensroom & shit in a closed stall if there are other people within 60' of him has a very confining, (& sometimes uncomfortable) problem..I don't believe in exhibitionism either....but my buds & I will often crap together, and it's rewarding & relieving...people get over it & grow up; I'm 23 & I've been doing it for 15 years...some of you are probably in your 50s!!!!

Most of the posts I read are totally shameful or shameless. I shit, flush, wash and leave. If I need a plunger, I ask for it. No big deal.

It seems like half of the people here are:

1 I love busting the door open and bragging about the stench in there.... or

2 OMG! I would do anything to be 10 miles away from everybody, so nobody will hear or smell the shit! I am so embarassed!

So I propose that we have a percentage of shamelessness rather than Absolute Shameless or Shameful. I would be about 50%-75% Shameless.

i am very shameful, i never shit in a public place, always seemed to hold it in till later, but indefense of us shameful people, there is utmost plesure being in your own bathroom, with the door closed. then i proceed to sit on toilet, hike up my dress, push my underwear to my ankles, and slowly squeeze out a nice formed bowel movement., after one or two fart sounds. anyone else out there agree? i look forward to this after work. see, i just love making a good bowel movement.

I am shamless, and yet i think there is nothing wrong with sombody that is a shamefull shitter. Yes, it is a bad thing but hey, we shouldnt condem them, we should help them. I persoannly walk into a bathroom and pull off a number two, not trying to disgust anyone, just looking for that "Zen" moment. When i walk out of the bathroom and there is a little prick looking at me like im some freak for excreating waste in a place that is meant for such a thing,I talk to them. I ask them how their time in the bathroom was and if they need any help finding a good stall. This helps me be less embaressed if I am at all.Any experienced shamless shitter should try this when you get a poop-peeker.

I used to be a very shameful shitter. Then I came to this site. Not anymore.

From the age of 10 through 14, I pooped in my pants "when appropriate", meaning the quality of the poop was firm and dry, and that the pants I was wearing were appropriate (no back pockets - showed the load nicely). It's 30 years later, and I still think about it. My shrink even suggested that I bring these old habits up in this forum. Thanks! John

It never occurred to me to look at this part of the website.
Well, I have gotten to the point that I get a real kick out of plopping one out in a public restroom, but it's kind of odd when there are people I am only slightly acquainted with in the restroom.
I am glad that poopreport has warped my fragile little mind.

95% shameless
4% shamefull
1% hot gas

Our beach and park mens bathrooms are all doorless. If you need privacy, use the womes restrooms. Case closed.

Yes, I am a shameful shitter. Yes, I know it is depressing. It all started back in kindergarten when I was SENT HOME- can you believe it- for "making poopy on the lawn like the doggies." Too bad the lawn in question was the actual playground. I feel I was traumatically discriminated against, and this situation clearly violated my freedom to poop. Now I feel I must poop behind closed doors.

I have completed the de-shaming process!
i am all shameful!
:)

I'm so damn shameful! I had to shit really bad today and there was someone else in the restroom. I was so nervous that I waited until they left to shit. I'm afraid that they will smell it!! I wish I could just get over it. But when I'm at my own bathroom, I LOVE TO SHIT! It feels good to clean up my insides and know that I'm ready to fill myself up again. I'm both I suppose!

I am in the shameless category without question ... but there is one exception ... camping outhouses .. .and there is good reason ... 90% of all the "Black Widow" spider bites happen in out houses .. they make their nests/webs under the toilet seat ... so when you feel that "Good Sam's Club" bite on your cheek ... it is a gift that will not keep on giving! Now fellow shitters ... ain't you happy that I studied entomology/arachnology in college!!

Totally shameless. After a certain incident, shameful shitting was just out of my ability list. Don't even bother fake-coughing and all that other crap. People know what you're doing in there, so it doen't work. Just be shameless, dammit!

absolutely shameless! I pull no punches..I grunt loudly,fart shamelessly,then leave it there for all to admire!

I am proud to state that I Bill (ParaPooper) am a shameless shitter. Always have, always will be.

I think my hot gas percentage has gone up.....hugging bunnies since 1969

The most shameless shitter of all time past, present and future.

I can and have shit everywhere, except under water, cause i didn't have to, or i would have.

Not only a shameless shitter am i, I can crap in an open stall while a janitor mops the floor. I can and often do shoot people with a fart gun.

I have shit in the desert without cover, in the woods in sub zero cold, in basements of new construction, in the back of trucks, in the mountains, at work earning double time(my fav),in multiple hole military outhouses with a gas mask on,or in my pants cause i thought it was a fart.

Where was I? oh yea, I was thinking the reason many don't want to shit in front of others is because of a small johnson. I don't feel it has anything to do with the act of crapping though.

I am very proud of the places that I have pooped. I keep a log of all the interesting places I have dropped tha deuce. To name a few; there is the time I did it in the back row of a movie theatre while the show was playing, off a twenty foot wall into a parking lot, out the window of a moving car, in a garbage can at a shopping mall during the day, and at the very top of my list is the time I was in Cabo, Mexico. I canoed out to a secluded beach under the famous arch, and droped a mean one deep within a cave. See if you can top that.

Eric, I think that last one definitely falls under the showboat shitting category.

Wait until I visit Biloxi and crap in one of the casinos. Now THAT'S showboat shitting!

...Never mind.

Shameless: Shit in public places as well if I need to, of course going behind some bushes or the edge of a side-street or some dustbin. If somebody comes around, who cares? pf. Public is public - if you are in that level shameless shitting gives you an excitement and feeling of liberty you never want to miss anymore.
Have also shit down a bridge with some friends when we had party during camping. Dumping in public together with some other shameless shitters is big fun, very cosy if you talk, smoke or drink some bear in the mean time.
Of course shameless at home or any place, such as university, too.

"drink some bear". Ha Ha Ha, don't you mean drink some beer? B-E-E-R

There is a brand called bears'beer , which we prefer so we just say let's drink a bear.
A bear running down your upper hole while working a big bear out the other is by the by a good combination

I consider my self an " Enlighteded Shamefull Shitter". Let's say I am 70% shameless.
_______
Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

As I probably mentioned before, I am shameful as hell. I'm fine with people that let fly in whatever toilet suits them, but I've never been very open about my bodily functions generally.

Of course, as you can expect, I enjoy a quality dump immensely, but only in the confinement of my home crapper. I realize I can get hemmorhoids doing this, but I've been known to spend 40 minutes trousers down on the toilet, not worrying about any interruptions or people hearing me fart or smelling my odor.

Public shitters are a different story. If I need to use one at all, I dump quickly and get out. If there is a shameless shitter next to me farting and grunting away, I ignore them and just concentrate on finishing up and scurrying out as fast as possible.

In a nutshell, I'm a wimpy basket case. Maybe some fellow poopreporters can help me out. Thanks for any advice you can give.

fred kruega!

I am now a Shameless Shitter by no longer being embarrassed to poop in public bathroom stalls and everytime I drop my pants and underwear around my ankles and just poop._______
-Sam aka bknightshadow

I love taking big shits. I am a shameless shitter and look forward to shitting at work when I'm having a really bad and boring day. I always feel so good afterwards! I hate it when water bounces back into my anus though, so I've started using those toilet protector sheet things.

Suppose I am a shamefull shitter at home with family. Have to sneak off for a poo and make sure that there is no one around or nearby the toilet. I'm shameless in public, were nobody knows me. I love to shit in cubicles when I know someone is shitting beside me. Especially when its a really good shit, like a good log!!
You don't even flush because you want everyone to see what a super dump you have produced

Shameless no doubt about it here. If there is a captive audience even BETTER! Nothing like sharing a good dump with humanity.
_______
The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

I guess, having given this a lot of thought, that I a shameful. However, I agree whole heartedly, that, over the years, we, humankind, have ben conditioned to be shameful. The very invention of the toilet has most certainly been the catalyst for this. It reminds me of an old schoolyard chant.....

"In days of old, when Knights were bold,
and toilets weren't invented,
they dug a hole behind a wall,
and sat there quite contented."

_______
like a constipated accountant- I worked it out with a pencil.

And just for the analy retentive of you out there, I can spell, but it appears that local weather is causing a problem with my uplink, and ascii is being dropped.

_______
like a constipated accountant- I worked it out with a pencil.

BVC, I heard that 4 liner from my parents a long time ago. Their version had the last 2 lines as: "they left their load beside the road
and went away contented"

Thanks for bringing back a lost memory!!

*giggles* great variation, I'm sure that there must be more out there somewhere!

_______
like a constipated accountant- I worked it out with a pencil.

Great site here dealing with real issues, me myself I like to release the chocolate hostage and carry it around in my underwear for a few hours, it makes me feel special that i've got a secret that people don't know about, unless i've been on the Guinness and Duck the night before, then it's a code red, but on 'the hole' I usually just bake it in my drawers and cake it around my cheeks until I get home then I peel it off with a chisel and a blow torch, man that really gets me off. Shit Enthusiasts I salute you.

Cap'n T, (Yawn) when you do something really different or cool get back to us.

I guess I'm a fairly shameful shitter. I'm not too embarrassed about crapping in public toilets (as long as they're not unisex) when I have to, but I would NEVER, EVER shit in a doorless stall (thankfully we don't really have them here in the UK). I'm also uncomfortable crapping anywhere where a girl can hear it.

Also, whenever I have to crap in a public toilet, I always, always use a courtesy flush before wiping.

Fortunately I have very good bowel control, so I don't have too much difficulty holding it in until I can find somewhere appropriate/private.

Herbert, um.....oh hell, never mind.

I really hope you weren't going to make the same disparaging comment about my testicular development yet again, Bilgepump. It's neither particularly amusing nor founded in fact.

No Bert, I'll take your word for it, but I was going to suggest getting a hooker, or at least hang out with Doniker for a while, he can show you 3000 different ways to whack off, maybe if you relieve some of that sperm retention headache, you'd develop a sense of humor. Maybe Charles will let ya have a go at what ever that ugly bitch's name is he's banging.