so what happened to your relationship? Tucker max has a similar story on his site, except that is was urine, and the girl believed him, enough to write him a check for a new mattress

So if shitting next to her and then trying to blame it on her didn't drive this woman away, what was it you finally did 5 years later that brought her to her senses? (nice story, btw).

You were playing Russain roulette with you ass canon! You're a brave man. I don't fart in front of a girl I'm dating for at least a month; let alone shit in front/on her.

I call this the 'Wet Fart Detector Muscle':

"Needless to say, I have gotten pretty good at the art of moisture detection, and have the ability to release gas pressure while stopping just short of juice."

Unless you caught her sucking your best friend's sausage, I think you should've married that woman. Any lady who will put up with a guy for five years after he blames her for shitting the bed is a keeper in my book.

Pill Pooper: I was so very hungover/tired I honestly don't know what I was thinking. Actually, I wasn't.
Logjam: Is there ever 1 single reason? Biggest contributior was the fact that I did not get along with her twin sister.
still_shitting: LOL I guess I am not such a good actor.
GM CC: 'Wet Fart Detector Muscle" ROFL love it
ALL: Thanks for your support ( I approve this message )

I have read many stories of blamining the diarhea on the other person, but I never read one where that trick had failed.

Congratulations on being the unfortunate first man.

ThreePly: You said a "mouth full". Seriously, I wanted to marry that one. There are so many great stories about her - but this is the only one involving poop.

I've dated two girls who had a twin, but never had a problem with their sisters. Too bad the other was a bitch. Then you could've tried to get the both of them drunk, and get them into bed.

Then you would have two people to blame for the shitty sheets. Its a numbers game, Foom. Good story by the way. I meant to say that earlier.

"There are so many great stories about her - but this is the only one involving poop."

OK. So tell us one about her breasts.

Foom, this chick doesn't live in Seattle, does she? I can't put my finger on it, but there is something oddly familiar about the vague way you describe this woman. Probably just my overactive imagination.

I cant believe you tried to blame it on her. You should have used your poker face.

man, that's one hell of a story.

Golden Buns: He didn't describe her more than saying she was cool, and at times, naked. Yeah, there's only one girl in all one hundred and thirty million American femals that fits that description. Although I think she lives in St. Louis.

Sheesh, if you dont know whether or not she is 'the right one' after 18 months there is a problem. Either make an honest woman out of her or break it off.

Logjam: I'd tell you but since this isn't boobreport.com.....
Golden Buns/Tydiriuj: LOL Wrong cities - but you guys give me the feeling that I'm not the only one with such a story.
Skid Mark: I think you are right! I went with the "strong offence is the best defence" approach - which failed.
Poopoopeedoo: Where did '18 months' & 'the right one' come from? It doesn't matter, I hope you liked the story anyway.
Browner & ALL: Thanks :)

Slim Jim Junkie: There is no doubt in my mind that this has happened to others. If others post such stories maybe a "support group" could get started. LOL
I bet that I'm not the only one who failed in the lie though.
Unless,
Dare I say it?
Oh, no.
Could I really be the first? Noooooooooooooooooooooooo

Ass roulette! haha

I agree with Skid Mark. Where was your poker face?

Hey, Foom. If she stuck around after you shit in her bed AND tried to blame it on her I'd say she's a keeper. Oh, and don't gamble with your asshole after drinking.

This story had me laughing my ass off!

anyone pulled a 30cm hair outta their arsehole?

how bout you,shit volcano?

ha ha ha ha

this was a funny story

No, neko, can't say that I have. Although I did find a leaf in my buttcrack after hiking through the woods once.

Well, it could be worse. You could have gone while you and the lady were in the middle of doing the deed.

Being a Proctal Rectal Scientist & a Phsycologist I will say this some people LOVE SHIT THUS MY PROOF PLEASE VISIT www.shitlovers.com

B. One word. WOW!

Foom, if you haven't seen it yet, you really need to read G Ras's story "The Unreliable Sphincter." It details a similar occurance, and from start to finish is a fantastic story. Look for it under the Stories About Poop link at the top of the page.

I forgot about that story, ThreePly. Hil-ar-i-ous! You've gotta read it, Foom!

Thanks ThreePLy/Shit Volcaco!
G Ras just had me crying. You gotta love his way with words - "Gravity was pulling me toward the center of the bed like a black hole, confirming I'd misjudged her weight astronomically." ROFL

Yeah, that's my favorite line in the whole story. I always picture this massive black vortex spinning in the middle of this humungous ass.

That reminds me of the time in the police academy when I drank three 40's of Blatz and gave this chick a dirty sanchez. She was asleep and had no idea.

Should have called the story BETWEEN THE SHITS.

Fweeeeeeeee!!!!!

hoho that was funny. it made me lsugh

Dude. funny story. I can relate... Been there done it. But, on a serious note. If beer gives ya the trots it can be an indicator of a fairly common but frequently misdiagnosed problem. It is called Celiac Disease. It affects approximately 10% of people of western european decent. This disease, if left untreated, can lead to a wide variety of other problems including early death. It is genetic and can be passed on to your children also. Make an appointment with a gastroenterologist.

That's the mark of a great story - when 1 or more comments include "Make an appointment with a gastroenterologist".

Sorry, Tydiriuj (typo, is it really our guy, Tydirium?), there are more than 130 million American females. There's not yet 300 million people in the US and there are always more females than males so the figure is closer to 150 million and up. Yeah, I'm a nerd.

Let's try this again. If you dont know she would make a good wife within a year or two then break it off and let the poor darling move on with her life. There. I dont know how many more ways to say the same thing.

She broke up with me - 'nuff said.

NEVER AND I MEAN NEVER TRUST A FART. If you are too lazy to get up to "fart" than you deserved the ass mud in your bed.

That was a great story. Very funny. I am sorry to hear that it didn't work out. I would like to know, did you two ever discuss this further?