So you had a giant dam in your ass?

I have this picture of this acidic wave of Ex-Lax eating through a rock-hard crap from the back to the front... it was 90% there when you had to go mining. Like the miners in Pennsylvania... you broke through the wall, and there was the flood.

That has scared me into a better diet.

That sounds like when you take laxatives and it just kinda gives you diahrea behind the "cork", if you will. It is much like shaking a bottle of champaigne to help with removing of its cork.

Phhoooooooosshhhhhh!!!!!

I've been there before. Seems like the laxatives never work until after you have wrenched out the poop by another means, and then they just become a further affliction. This is why I don't use laxatives that much. When I want to take something to help me shit, I take fiber: usually Metamucil or psyllium. Pills/chemical laxatives are brutal, and basically just give you diarrhea. At times like that, I envision my little starfish with a chef's hat on...cooking up something painful and evil with the laxatives.

One day, I was in the bathroom in the middle of shaving when my girlfriend (a hottie with long, blonde hair) came in and said that she had to take a shit real bad, right now. Apparently, she had been constipated for a few days also, and the massive log was seemingly finally ready to be born. Not being put off by that sort of thing, I told her to come in and do the deed.As I continued to shave, she unzipped her jeans, pulled them down to her knees and sat her sexy ass on the toilet. It took her awhile, but after some minutes of grunting and straining, she really let loose with a load. I mean, it was huge. The bathroom stunk to high heaven afterwards, it took a few flushes and the trusty toilet plunger to get the entire mass down. After the ordeal was over, we both became sexually aroused and proceeded to have sex. She told me to nail her in the ass, I gladly obliged. Often times now, I witness my girlfriend shitting as a precursor to sex. It turns us both on. She usually shits a lot and really gets into it, but that one time was truly outstanding.

I don't like to judge or anything, but that's pretty damn gross

man chew your food woman jeez!

This story brought back a traumatic childhood memory of my mother doing the same thing.....hope I can sleep without nightmares tonight.

did your anus bleed?

My anus did not bleed.

How bout anal itch afterward?

Ohhh the anal itch! Yes, I experienced some rectal itching. NEVER use Tucks or witch hazel for relief. That was a baaaaaaaaad baaaaaaaad idea.

i've done that before to get out crusti white stuff

how come my doodie has my butt hair in it and i pick it out and munch on it??

True, Sniper Wiper. Shit is gross. But it happens. So make the best of it, like my girlfriend and I do. Sorry, doniker. Hope you slept well. My girlfriend chews her food well, she just eats a lot and gets constipated and shits like you wouldn't believe.

Damn. Wish I had a girlfriend like that. u r 1 lucky man.

i hate being constipated i remember about 2 weeks ago i was constipated for about 5 days then one day after school i was getting on my skateboard and i began to feel my stomach hurt. i began to ride fast as i could to get to a bathroom at a store........then all of a sudden ......I took a huge dump in my drawers right there on my skateboard!! it was so funny ! but i was lucky i was wearing black wind pants LOL

My former doctor was very liberal. If I was hurting he would prescribe pain medication without hesitation. This honorable and kind man told me to NEVER take Ex-Lax or anything like it. He said it was dangerous because it could really screw up one's electrolytes. So, if I become constipated, which isn't often, I just bear the burden.

Now if I may ask a question: Sometimes I have to make what I would call an "emergency dump". If I do not get to a toilet within 5 minutes I feel as though I would crap in my pantalones. This is the problem: My get a pain in my rectum that almost brings me to me knees. It feels like a spasm or something. I am not a sissy when it comes to pain, but this ass-pain makes my knees buckle sometimes. Please, any ideas?

People people people, drink atleast 8 glasses of water a day. If you want to pass pudding you've got to water it down first, otherwise you've bought yourself a one way ticket to brick city, population you.

Once I was taking a shit in a men's room of a department store. After awhile, some guy walks in and takes the stall next to mine. He drops his pants and sits on the can. Few minutes later, we are both dumping our loads although it seems that I'm shitting quite a bit more than he is. I'm just about done, getting ready to wipe, when I see the guy's hand trying to pass me a note from underneath the stall. I didn't take it, it kinda freaked me out, so I finished shitting, wiped my ass and flushed and got the hell out of there. I thought maybe the guy was some queer pervert who wanted to fuck me in the ass. Never can tell, gotta be careful sometimes. Lotta weird sickos in this world.

there are alot of fags in malls and retail stores looking for anonymous sex in the men's room.

I used to work at Kauffmanns and there were always fags in the mens room looking to blow guys.

They used to cut "glory holes" in the stall partitions. Maintenence would plug up the holes but the fags would open the holes back up.

Once I had to shit bad at work so I went to a stall. Some faggotfuck walked in and next thing I knew I saw some dude's eye looking through "the hole in the wall" cut from the next stall over.

I beat on the partition and screamed "fuck off faggot" and he ran out.

It's things like this that add to my shameful shitting in public places.

I don't like gays. I thing homosexuality is a sin. But as long as you homos do your thing in the privacy of your own home, that's ok with me.

don't force your perversion on normal folks.

Poopadem, I would NEVER let myself go 9 days without taking a crap. If you let your load sit in there for more than 2 days, it dries out because your large intestine absorbs more and more water from it.

I never let myself go more than 2 days without shitting. And everybody's right about drinking sufficient water.

And laxatives can be an issue. I use cascara sagrada, an herbal laxative, but only when away from home on trips.

Enemas are really not so terrible. I started learning to use them earlier this year (only when I have not been able to shit 2 days in a row) and really, they're not the horrible ordeal we dread they'll be--at least not if you give one to yourself in private.

But, seriously, the kind of shitting you had to do was not only a miserable experience, it was also unhealthy. People with bad hearts and fragile blood vessals can endanger their lives if they strain hard when shitting. A year ago, a retired police officer who went by the e-handle of 'Harry the cop' told us that in the course of his career, he and the other police officers found a really amazing number of people died on the toilet--they gave themselves strokes or heart attacks while busting grumpies. And I learned that one of my favorite authors gave herself a stroke while straining at stool. She was a medical journalist and while recovering in the hospital, quizzed the doctors about it and they told her that her situation was a lot more common than most folks realize.

Man that's sad...dying on the toilet. Yeh being a woman sometimes we don't poop as often as men do. After the third day I noticed it but just let it slide. I'll never do that again.

As I was reading, I pictured it being a man until about halfway down... the fact that it was a female made it even funnier. It's funny to be reminded that women poop too.

A relative of mine died of a heart attack on the john in the middle of the night, Elvis style.

But as to constipation, a big glass of cranberry juice always works better on me than any laxatives. Or just eat something that you know gives you the shits, like a lot of ice cream!

u fu****g idiot! y the f*** wuld u stick ut hand n ur ass n get the poop out? that is the stupidest thyng i have ever heard

comment on fags:

I just got out of prsion, and needless to say I hate those god damn queers. The first week I was in the joint a group of queers tried to fuck me up the ass. Big mistake those pillow biters made. Being in prison was pretty stressfull and I had diareaha pretty bad. there were 5 of them and only me, i didnt stand a chance, i knew i only had one choise, with my pants around my ankles, bent over my bunk, I sprayed the fucker behind me there was shit all over him. after they beat the living shit out of me and i spent 1 month in the hospital, i never got fucked with again. keep that in mind if any of you ever got to lock up.

hey brooke wanna fuck

HAHA, I had to do some digging like that once at work! I had done too much drinking the night before and it dried me up. No gloves though....I had to dig with bare fingers.

Hey poopdem, what trauma! It kinda reminds me of a times when I was 7, and I was REALLY constipated! Well, after straining for hours, I finally got my load "out", but it wouldn't quite drop into the toilet. It was just stuck hanging half-way out my butt!!! I thought about just using my hand to break it off, but that was too gross,... instead, there just happen to be a pair of scissors on the bathroom sink! So, what else could I do?! I used the scissors to CUT the turd off! Ughhh... I'll never forget THAT one!!!!

once I ate too many damn chilly dogs on the 4th of july and that night during the fireworks i felt the pinch, the call to the toilet, and i was at the beach so there was only port-o-poties.i scrambled for one and as soon as i dropped my pants and sat down hell flew out of my ass!When i waz done i inspected the damage and found that the entire port-o-potty wall behind me was splattered with shit! io wiped and walked out like nothing happened.Fortunately people were too mesmorized by the fireworks to notice.ill never 4get that traumatizing experience!

Brooke, learn to type and then we'll talk. Who's the idiot?

brooke, i have mentioned that i am a cna. unfortunately i have had to dig people out as we call it. it's not fucking stupid, we do it in the professional medical field! and the term for what poopedem went thru is called impaction.

I had a bad experience with constipation about two years ago. You see, I almost always do one poo a day and sometimes I do two. Occassionally, I will have a day where I won't do a poo at all. This particular time, I had done a poo on the Wednesday morning but I didn't do one the next day. I thought I would surely be able to do one on the Friday but I still couldn't go. By Saturday, I still wasn't feeling the urge to go for a poo. Then on Saturday night, I got the urge to go but it took me about an hour and a half to push it out. That was the only time that I have been constipated since I was about 16. I used to get constipated a lot as a kid too.

Its good to read poo stories from other women. As a woman myself, I think we can match the men in terms of the sizes of our turds!!

I went without shitting for ten days and then all I got were a few poo marbles. However, when I was a kid I used to get these eggplant sized monsters that kept me home from school for three days because they would stick in my ass.
The funniest shit sticking story I ever heard was from my father's girlfriend, who used to work as an in-home geriatric nurse. One of the men she took care of was a rather elderly gentleman who loved peaches. Then one day he was shocked to find that his peach had no pit. She remembers him telling her this and wondering about it. What she didn't realize was that the peach did indeed have a pit and the old man had eaten it!
Anyway, time passed and the pit moved through his system until it stuck in his anus. Over time more and more poo piled around the pit and hardened. Then it became a medical emergency. She had to get a spoon and dig the peach pit out of the poop ball so the man could unload again.
After this my dad always bothered me by repeating his girlfriend's words of wisdom. Whatever it is, you can wash it off later. Ewww!!!!

Hey, doniker. Something just occurred to me. Why didn't you poke the fag in the eye?

Hum...I agree with the lady up above...who takes an enema in private. My wife and I are 70+, and I was on the road alot..for years and constipation was a constant problem..eating wrong..not able to go when the urge hit,,etc..plus my wife always seemed to get constipated with her period..A friend of hers recommended enemas....1) they worked fine ..within minutes 2) no waiting for pills etc to work..(always seemed to be in the wrong place) and 3)after we each got a bag..we would do each other...very erotic...and at 70+ no need for viagra..stu

I am always bleeding and blowing shit!Can't figure it out.Need expert care.Am a truck driver.Need help from my fellow blowers.

I shit turds that are probably a foot long and 2" around and damn they hurt.About the ass fucking ur girl friend in the bathroom, i once was in the bathroom with my girl friend and she was shitting normaly but she gets turned on by anal sex and shit and enemas and she got up off the toilet and her ass was still shitty and she asked me to fuck her ass and i got a condom and i fucked her ass. Quite frankly i was kind of turned on by it.

I can relater to this story. Severe constipation is no picnic. (From my experience), the best way to get a stubborn bottom working again, take the recommended dose of Ex Lax. Then eat lots of raw vegetables, topped of with olive oil and vinegar. You will be clear as a bell in no time
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Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

Crush up 1/4 cup of black walnuts and eat them (it helps to mix them in a bit of applesauce to ease the swallowing) and drink 8 ounces of water. You should be shitting within a few hours providing you don't choke to death trying to eat them. Just make sure you drink at least 8 ounces of water. More if you can stand it.

Not only do black walnuts have a wonderful laxative effect, but they also have amazing antiparasitical properties as well, so if you happen to be harboring any unwanted intestinal guests, this is a good way to rid yourself of them.

Just make sure that you select "black walnuts" and not "english walnuts".
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Always looking out for number two!

Why would you need to crush them and choke them? What's wrong with walnuts?

You could toast 'em, chop 'em, and sprinkle 'em on Irish oatmeal. Now THAT'S a colon cleanse!

And tasty, besides! Little bit of brown sugar...

GGG, I love steel cut irish oatmeal. It's nice to see someone else likes it.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Breakfast of champions, baby! :)

GGG, there is nothing at all wrong with walnuts in my opinion. In fact, I keep a big bag of them in my freezer for cooking, and munch on them quite often.

The reason I mentioned the crushing and mixing with applesauce is probably just habit, since most of the patients that I deal with are elderly people who have difficulty swallowing things. Sorry for any confusion.
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Always looking out for number two!

Ah! I see.

Isn't there some confection that involves ground walnuts that elderly patients could gum? Kind of like marzipan, only with black walnuts?

I bet there is; any candy-makers out there?

How is a disposable enema not preferable to digging?