Yes the first post! Didn't like the story much tho.

I too suffer from the same stubborness when I have to shit. If I'm working on something, I want to finish the job before I shit. When I can't do that, the story usually winds up here on PoopReport. My one concern revolves around the toilet. How did it handle your massive fallout? Before I moved out, my parents replaced three of the four toilets in our house with new Home Depot toilets and it would take flush after flush to send the mighty logs down the Ohio River.

I'm currently looking for a house as well and one of my primary concerns is having only one toilet. I want at least two. I don't care if the second toilet is in the middle of the basement floor with only a roll of toilet paper next to it, I want my own commode. Good luck getting that bum son-in-law out of your basement. Maybe if you drop enough bombs in your new basement, you'll just stink him out. Good to see another contribution, Doniker.

I'm so on tow with the stubborness against the turd.
At work I literally wont budge until I've shit my pants. Well, as close as possible.

I like ThreePlys idea of stinking out your stepson.
Best wait until he has some friends over and then drop a load. Maybe even hock a loogie into the bowl afterwards for added grossness!

Pounding out the first turd is always a moment to remember. I like how you let the turd cook while you went to Home Depot to get a lid. You certainly have control over your poop.

the story was very touching, and I especially like the ending where he got up and admired his work. I've never shit 18 inches! I mean, I've had my Mona Lisa shits here and there, but never 18 fucking inches! Way to go,Donkier!

I've never had 18 inches, but I've shit some the size of baby squirrels. My fiance is so proud to say I shit bigger than him.

Reminds me of something that happend in 2000...
My mom had the genious idea to replace the anchient shitters in our Florida house. The reason? Mom likes to redecorate at random.
Well, it amazes me that the $300 Kohler 1.6 gallon shitters worked better than the old style shitters they replaced. With the old ones, the U shaped 18 inch loaf would sqeeze and block the hole. Then, I would need the plunger. Now, due to enhancements in Porcelein Geometry and Flid Dynamics, the 18 inch turd will make a turn and head straight down the hole. There is nearly as much vacuum as a quantum black hole!

A very moving tale, Doniker! I can't believe you found a toilet bowl and sink for $200, though. I just had a toilet installed at my office, and it cost $550 + $250 for the installation. My boss was really pissed at the price, but since his last bowel movement plugged up the old johnny for good, I told him he didn't have a choice in the matter. I wanted a powerful replacement in the men's room, and I got it!

$200 for a toilet isn't bad. You just have to shop around a lot. (Though that doesn't always work.) Try e-bay. Everything is there, why not a toilet?
Anyway, great story doniker. I enjoyed breaking the seal on two brand new toilets before my parents got to take their rancid dumps in them.
As Three Ply said I always like to find a house with more than one toilet if I'm shopping for a house. I tend to have giant shits and sometimes the poo chopper doesn't do the trick. If it's clogged I always end up using the yard like the dogs.
Occupational hazard. I clog enemies' toilets for cold cash. Professional giant turd producer.

"I clog enemies' toilets for cold cash. Professional giant turd producer" Ahahahahahaha! TSV, that's one of the funniest things I've ever heard!

I wish you had that kind of control over your ass-comments on this board. Otherwise, I salute your pooper control

So, D., did you waddle upstairs with your pants down, to wipe your ass? Or maybe use an article of clothing from the stepson?

Congratulations, Doniker-new toilet and a record breaking dump. $200 is not bad at all.

I am jealous. Once I have to crap, I have to crap NOW otherwise I lose the urge and cant do it.

Very difficult when one's bowel is as shy as an 1860s debutante

I didn't even read this story because Doniker is a pud.

that's ok poopoopal, I don't read your stories either.

wait, your lame ass has no stories.

this story was great!!!!!!!!!!!

Since it was a new toilet, I'm surprised it didn't overflow like a shit fountain. Those new (federally mandated) low flush toilets are junk.

Ceremonial first dump name contest: Colonic Christening, Log Launch, Porcelain Maiden Voyage.

I, too, recently popped a bowl's cherry. I got a toilet for $65 at Lowes and installed it myself. What was wrong with the old toilet? Absolutely nothing. My motive, in no small part, was to have that sublime moment of dropping a log into my very own toilet that NOBODY ELSE HAS EVER USED!

Worth every penny and every minute of work.

Doniker:

I told you that you would live to appreciate the drawstring I installed in your anus. By the way, your payments are now 60 days overdue, and you don't want me to have to send Tony "Fat Fingers" Ballona out to Ohio to remove your anal installation, do you?

Doc.

Can I have one too?

BTW, don't shop at Home Depot. They fund the Bush Administration campaigns.

DONIKER...just wondering if your family knows of your fecalphelia? and does your step-son know you hate him so?

Ah. Sweet success. I wish I had a basement.

I too get the same satisfaction after taking a dump in a freshly cleaned toilet. It's my little reward for having to get down on all fours and scrub my smelly toilet. I can only imagine what it would feel like in a brand spanking new toilet.