This is why I don't swim in public pools or at public beachs...you might as well just jump into a giant toilet !!

But who knew that poop would float in salt water? This is an important lesson in bouyancy. What a great public service PoopReport provides.

I indeed learned a lesson...no more pooping in the ocean for me! I was so scared I would be found out and exposed as a sea-shitter!
But hey, fish poop in the ocean so old paranoid Doniker is still right! The ocean is a giant toilet in a way.

submariners don't flush their poop out of the sub for fear that enemy ships on the surface will see it and know where they are.

When we were little our mother bathed my younger brother and I together. She wanted to be more efficient, I guess. I think I was around five years old, which would have made my bro two. Anyway, one day at bathtime he pinched a loaf in the water and it slowly floated to the surface. When I got disgusted and yelled for mom, he tried to cover up his accident by covering it with a washcloth. That was the day I decided I was old enough to take a shower.

Hahahahahahaaaa!
I once babysitted these kids and they had a kiddie pool. We were all chilling in it and after a few minutes i noticed wierd chunks floating around the water. One of the kids had pooped in the kiddie pool. Ew.

when i was little my aunt (who was about 13) would always play with me, we were like best friends. and she would always let me take a bath with her. well one time i pooped in the tub and i didnt tell her. well she was reaching around looking for the soap and grabbed it... or so she thought! she screamed and threw my poop across the bathroom and yelled for my mom to come get me! HAHAHA i wish i was old enough then to remember it now!

does anyone know why my poop floats in the toilet and will never go down the drain the first time I flush?!?

This reminds me of a time when i was on the 5th grade backpacking trip. The day started as normal had oatmeal for breakfast and then he hike for about 20 mins to a swimming hole. One thing you should know was that there where no bathrooms so we had to go in a hole. well while i was swiming i felt the urge to shit. i had heard that where you go the bathroom has poop baried every where so you whould dig .5 feet and there was turd. he were going to stay there the rest of the day, so i had to figure out how to relsase the log. so i went up into the water and pulled down my pants but my friend saw me and said your pants are down so i pulled them up and waited a minute then i pulled them down agian and when. when i was done i let out a sigh of relief. i pulled up my pants (without wipling) and when on to have fun.

i pooped in a lake once and it sunk like an anchor

i wanna see poop in peoples pants while they are having sex

I have heard and read, in more than one place, that whether your poop floats or sinks (in the toilet; i.e. in fresh water) is some sort of indication of your health, or at least how healthy you eat. I can't remember which is preferable. Can anyone confirm, debunk, or otherwise shed light on this? Is it BullShit?

In health circles, floating poop is good poop.
this means there is enough water and fiber and looseness
in them. If they sink, it means they have been
compacted and perhaps there is not enough fiber (too much meat and sugar).

If your poop floats you are eating too much fat. It can also be a sign of a serious medical condition if you have giant turds that float. Sinking poop is preferred.

You're lucky the shitshark didn't eat you alive in his frenzy to swallow your dook.

doniker (1197) -- 08.14.2001
This is why I don't swim in public pools or at public beachs...you might as well just jump into a giant toilet !!

You cracked me up with that one Doniker.

Floating poop can be the sign of a serious medical condition, but the salt water and enzymes in the ocean water, may have played a role in this case.
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"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

DD, Post on 9.15.2006.....Funny.
Producing waste since 1967

Melly, Thank you for this story. I have been needing a good laugh. You should consider publishing this story. I love it.