Hurricane winds...shaking walls...passing tornadoes...I wonder what it would take to convince me to hold my ground and shit myself rather than make a dash for the porcelain perch.
Now THAT'S the power of poop.

First Post!! Sounds like something I would do1

Yeah, I think I'd have used a garbage bag or something.

I witnessed the hurricane, but I was not in the major disaster area.

My biggest enemy was boredom, as all the stores were closed. The only thing still open was one Chinese restaurant, and the line to get in streched for an eternity. The chefs were toiling like robots, in order to keep pace.

I just talked with a buddy of mine who lives down in Florida. He told me a similar tale that about four hours after the shit hit the fan, and the power went out, the gut goblins were stirring up trouble in his ass. He described taking a massive crap in the toilet, and when he tried to flush, there was no activity.

I've never heard of an electric flush before, but that's what they have. Fortunately the toilet has a fault flush on it once it gets enough water in the bowl, and it flushes on its own. He went out and scooped a bucket of water out of their pool and gave the old assist to the toilet.

Some days I'm glad I live in Ohio.

TSV, my uncle lives upcoast in Titusville. Glad to know you and he are okay. So far he hasn't relayed any disaster shelter bathroom stories.

When you have diarrhea, you can't let out a long and loud fart without wetting yourself.

Story sounds weird: this is your first day reading Poopreport, isn't it?

"When you have diarrhea, you can't let out a long and loud fart without wetting yourself."

BULLSHIT. I FARTED A LONG LOUD ONE A FEW WEEKS AGO DURING A BOUT WITH DIARRHEA AND I DIDN'T FILL MY TIGHTY WHITEYS WITH MUD. I WAS IN BED AT THE TIME TOO.

Doniker, I have no doubt you gas! Hehe.

I'm glad you got this first page, SV. Nice, ironic story.

Story Sounds Weird, have you ever tried farting to relieve pressure? Most of the time it works. Some of the time it doesn't.

Then again, she might have shit herself and just not told me. But I think I would have smelled it in cramped quarters like that.

We had effects from the hurricane all the way here in Transylvania! It rained for a week!

Watch out for Ivan, now. He's a nice fiver.

Ivan went "6" late this afternoon, and is headed toward the Panhandle.

I've heard due to the very low barometric pressure, a toilet can flush itself in a hurricane.

Actually, this is no joke. I have seen it happen during Frances. (Much earlier in the storm than the eyewall story.)

I am considered the "Shitman", very similar to a "Hitman." I travel around to unassuming bathrooms and knock them out, one by one, leave large piles of poop and an unforgetable stench along the way.

I've been doing this now quite some time without getting into trouble or being caught by any bathroom auhorities. Watch out next time you need to make poo, the facilities may have been visited by the "Shitman"!!

Shitman you must have visited the wireless call center I work for in Belleuve, WA. I went into the lobby restroom because I could not hold my pee until I could make it upstairs to the safe, clean, chrome haven of the cushy employee bathrooms on the upper level. I stepped into the public, tile disaster and was greeted by a large chocolate colored, foul smelling, bubbling pile of poop that I swear had steam rising from it, and it was centered directly over the drain in the middle of the floor. If I get my hands on the perpetrator who did this I will seek revenge. I really will.

I have run into similar shit mounds. Some freak in Orlando left a piece of poo hanging on a Christmas tree like a brown ornament. It was disgusting!

The mind of a Turd Terrorist is a scary thing to contemplate. Some kind of bizarre mix of exhibitionism, repressed anger, traumatic toilet training, and anomie.

you better watch out fo' ivan now man. if u lived in cuba i hope u got outta there. if any1 lives in the carribean area get outta there or prepare for ivan.

*Jaws music*

What do you do if you walk in on a guy sqatted over the floor drain acting like a brown Play-dough factory? Do you leave? Do you act like he's not there and go on with your business? Do you push him over, into his mess? Do you kill him? What would be the proper response?

Knocking him over in his own pile would be great; I wonder if he'd still think Turd Terrorism was so much fun.

I stand by fudgepump on this one. The dude definately deserves to be bathed in his own shit.

dump him in the crap

Yea, my little brother had some wicked gas during charley O.o

btw i live in orlando

One time at the CSU Lory Student Center, a college turd terrorist took a dump outside in the sculpture garden. It was the biggest, stinkiest, mound of shit I have ever seen, I swear there was green gas coming off it

I wonder...has your sister ever crapped her pants when nervous or afraid? Maybe the greasy chicken spread isn't entirely to blame...

Perhaps, Fart Poopie. Perhaps. That, or it was anxiety shit from me relentlessly tormenting her in the closet. I get weird when the pressure is low.

Just read this over again. I SO enjoy humiliating my sister.

Lived in Vero Beach for a year, place in John's Island was totalled by the hurricane.