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The Cat And The Splat

Posted 11.17.2003 by Crap4All (44)
This is for all the diehard bowel movement accomplishers out there. The people who like to poop, to look at poop, to show the poop to others, and, most importantly, to give the bowel movement life and purpose, and to tell others about their poop. Though I share this story as just a story, it means much more to us "professionals" (if you will) who take pride in the many pleasures that poop provides us. This story has an undertone that hits home an encompassing way of life for some of us. Anyway, enough said.

About twelve years ago, when we first moved into our new house, I bought my wife a kitten as a house-warming gift. She really loves this cat and thinks of it as a sweet, warm, loving kitty with girl kitty interests. This cat will follow her around, sit only on her lap, and pay very little attention to me or what I am doing. The cat's interest in me is still the same today as it was from day one, except for one small notable thing she does. Every time I take a dump and flush the toilet, K.C. (short for Kitty Cow) will come running from wherever she is vegetating to see the log of life make the exodus from our home.

At first it was funny and entertaining for me to watch this little show; but later it became a serious flushing ritual. After weeks of this going on, my wife finally caught on, put the little Pavlov's Trained Conditioning routine together, and asked me at dinner one night, "Did you ever notice K.C. runs into the bathroom and watches the crap go down every time you flush?"

Did I notice? Did I notice! I told her not only did I notice, I encourage her interest in the process. My wife rolled her eyes and probably wrote it off as another strange flaw in my character. Over time I've had the opportunity to take pictures and video; and if I had my way, I'd make a scrapbook of the highlighted moments in the great log parade.

A proud moment happened when my three-year-old son started to enjoy this process as much as Dear Old Dad. Now, though I try not to encourage my son's curiosity in poop too much (in the best interest of his interactions at school and when visiting family members' homes), he figured out K.C.'s routine about three years ago. Now, when he finishes his fine work, he sometimes gives a little call out to make sure she's on her way and then they both enjoy the tornado of food as it makes its departure to freedom.

At least once a year my wife states her frustration in the fact that everyone in the house except her has a mental problem: we all have a need to see our crap before it's flushed. So next time you catch yourself saying how cats are useless and pathetic animals, just remember some cats are caring and really can show interest in something you do.

-- Crap4All

The Big Wiper (2244) -- 11.17.2003

I really like this concept, Crap4All. A kitty that says, 'Bon Voyage!' to your BMs like clockwork. Very PR! Wish there were some way you could show this off as a 'Stupid' Pet Trick on Letterman. Only I don't think it's stupid at all. It's brilliant!

nunyabizz (not verified) -- 11.17.2003

i thought this story was pretty cute. a father, son, and their pet bonding over poop!

Poopedem (55) -- 11.17.2003

I loved this story. I have a cat that must watch me poop as well. She runs when I make a grab for the paper though. She could learn a lesson from K.C.. As for Concerned Pet Owner, someone should flush you.

Tydirium (516) -- 11.17.2003

He was 3 when he figured it out. that was 3 years ago.

TurdBurgular (not verified) -- 11.17.2003

Cute story. But I'm a little confused how your 3 year old figured out K.C.'s routine 3 years ago?

Concerned Pet Owner (not verified) -- 11.17.2003

You should flush the cat next time she comes in to watch. Cats ARE useless.

Jaid (not verified) -- 11.17.2003

My one cat likes to weave in and about my legs while I'm using the toilet. The other one watches when I flush.

the_brown_word (not verified) -- 11.17.2003

I like this. I think you should fluch the wife.
when you're outnumbered, normal is mean average. So it looks to me like that lady is in the minority with the whole 'watching it flush' thing, so she should suck it up. EVERYBODYS DOIN IT.

Scat Woman (not verified) -- 11.17.2003

One of my dogs liked to come and sniff while I went #2... I was accused of teaching him disgusting, unseemly, useless stupid "tricks", but that wasn't true, he came to me of his own accord once - he was a very loving dog, very highly attached to me and who wished to be with me everywhere, even in the at times less than pleasant atmosphere of the bathroom. Anyway, the first time he came pushing his nose through the slightly ajar door, opening it and giving me that adoring look "Hi, I found you!" so I laughed and said "Err...you've chosen your moment badly buddy" well he didn't seem a bit perturbed, he nosed my leg and then caught a 'scent' errr yes, that's right, the evacuation had commenced, at which point he sobered and concentrated on his task, and put his most excellent nose to work to trace the elusive fragrance to it's source....and pretty soon was snuffling noisily at the toilet seat, to which I responded, humorous, lifting my thigh up a little of the seat, here you go buddy....enjoy...and was laughing my head off at my silly doggy...however, he apparently had found the mecca of his adorations and raised his head with a very speaking look, a long long, and then happily retreated to his nearby rug to lay and watch me complete the business at hand. He was never obtrusive or demanding, but over the years it was a strange ritual that happened between us, he would come and make his wish clear and I let him and he would go back to his bed to ponder what he had just experienced and what it might mean, if anything, in the scheme of things. I think it deepended the already strong bond between us, but my family still refers to it as "that sick trick you taught him"...how unjust. He taught himself.

The Turdminator (not verified) -- 11.18.2003

Everytime I pinch a loaf, my dog rushes into the bathroom and seems to enjoy the ritual .I remember one time dropping the toilet paper and feeling my pooch's moist tongue up my ass when I bent down to pick it up.

The Shit Volcano (3737) -- 11.18.2003

My cat, the Blue Mew, must supervise every time I got to the bathroom. He doesn't seem the least bit interested in poop, but he must watch the stream of urine as it rains into the bowl. Occasionally he gets up to watch the toilet flush.
He got mad at me when I wiped and shoved the toilet paper in his face. Apparently he didn't enjoy the aroma.

Slim Jim Junkie (not verified) -- 11.19.2003

This reminds me of a No TP diaster I had in 3rd grade. While at a friends house, I had no TP, so I scraped off with the brown tube. Then I threw it in the trash. The dog picked up up and carried it away! Thankfully, nobody saw the poop on it.

Azazel (not verified) -- 11.20.2003

I love the moral, those are words to live by.

The Shit Volcano (3737) -- 11.20.2003

I'm glad I'm not the only one who ever wiped with the brown tube! Fortunately, my dogs left it where it was. They were too busy eating my sanitary napkins.

Scat Woman (not verified) -- 11.20.2003

omg that's so funny Volcano! you made me remember my horror back in the dark ages when moms introduced teen daughters to the horrors of pads - what we referred to as those horrible mattress things, anyway, my bad bad first dog somehow extracted the gross thing from the trash, where I had disposed of it safely, and was lying in state under the dining table, jealously guarding his treasure which he was systematically shredding into tiny bits all over the carpet....oh that was so embarrasing. My other dogs had a safer fetish, they liked to shred the toilet paper carboard tubes & would come running when they heard me rattling the holder and changing rolls & I would give whichever came first the cardboard roll.

The Shit Volcano (3737) -- 11.20.2003

My dog Reedy is into chewing up the empty tubes from paper towel rolls. For some reason I can't get him interested in toilet paper rolls. Maybe they're too small. He does wonders with big cardboard boxes, though... Not to mention the deposit tray in my automatic cat box.

Jimbo (41) -- 11.23.2003

Well....the pets are just returning the "favor".

ex-lax_ohmygod (not verified) -- 11.29.2003

thats is a very weird but very cool cat. i love kittys whent they do something funny its spontanious not typical like a dog

Ral (not verified) -- 12.05.2003

My friend's cats always have to come into the bathroom to observe whenever someone is using the toilet. They don't seem interested in the toilet itself, the flush, or even the poo. They just have to watch you on the john. It's weird. More proof that cats are aware of some other world that only they can see.

stinky (not verified) -- 12.07.2003

Since it is so interested in the pot, teach the cat to poop in it. Saves those litter box blues.

The Shit Volcano (3737) -- 12.08.2003

Naw! I just get my dog to eat the shit in the litter box. It saves time and dog food bills.

The Shit Volcano (3737) -- 12.09.2003

He's not gay ex-lax. He's just some pathetic high school student looser looking to get a rise out of us.

SB (not verified) -- 02.24.2004

Man, you should flush that cat with the rest of your crap.

freakazoid (not verified) -- 02.28.2004

Bite me, SB.

The Shit Volcano (3737) -- 03.02.2004

Basset hounds are cute, but they fart a lot...

Then again, why is that a bad thing?

Zeus Shit (not verified) -- 03.02.2004

MY Ass hurts, keep yo cat and get a dog, cocker spaniels and basset hounds are cute!

Sambo (not verified) -- 07.21.2004

Hey! I googled about why do cats love to be underfoot while I'm on the throne...amazed at how many cats like the smell of shit!
Here's a joke for ya...Do you look at your TP before you throw it in the toilet? No? Then how do you know when your asshole is clean? :-)

ScaredSh**less (not verified) -- 08.04.2004

I think you are all wacked like this site.

ScaredSh**less (not verified) -- 08.04.2004

Just kidding!! I'm here aren't I? I love cats. My cat doesn't know where his butt is, though. He constantly misses his pot.

healthy 1 (1423) -- 11.17.2006

My cat follows me into the bathroom as well. He is somewhat interested in what is in the bowl, but doen't go out of his way to see what is in there.
_______
A man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

DungDaddy (1369) -- 11.21.2006

What a touching story. There is at least one cat in the world that has a purpose in life.

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