You actually expect me to believe that 2 guys came in the bathroom and hosed your naked ass down?

Phaze, this is your most far fetched story yet.

eh, i love it anyway.

I found it pretty hard to believe at first too... it does seem pretty unlikely. But then again, let's pretend you are at an amusement park, covered in shit and vomit -- i'd imagine that's relatively common at an amusement park -- what else are they gonna do? And I'm sure that after a season of daily hose-downs, the workers have grown bored and desensitized and just spray the dude with no formality.

It's possible.

http://artspunnies.com/...ction=1

Same kinda situation, except without the rollercoaster

Got this in an email a year or two ago. Only the story was set at Ryans Steakhouse and it wasnt chili dogs and there was no roller coaster or a guy in the stall next to him. There wasnt even a grandchild now that I think about it. Exact same story other than that.

I've seen similar first hand at a water park, and I hear it's common at theme parks, especially with rollercoasters. Phaze's slurpee story was pretty far feteched though, as was white shower.

Yeah, I too have read the Ryan's Steakhouse story, and while I found it funny, I found that Phaze's story had some striking similarities to it. C'mon, two park employees gracious to spray down a grown man covered in his own puke and shit? Wouldn't they just hand him the hose? Or better yet, would you even want a couple of strangers hosing you off? Yeah, I too have to call bluff on this one. Not once did Phaze mention nausea in his story then suddenly he's heaving in the stall while the puke strands his neighboring pooper on his toilet? I know puke is nasty shit, but it's not hard to step over or on if needs be. I have a hard time believing neighbor pooper would stick around while this fury was going on next door. I think common sense would say "shit and get the fuck out!" I call bluff since I read the Ryan's story already.

no way this is true. the stilted english is a junior high give away. grandpa's always have a handle on their grammar. and their bowels.

With all the hilarious and fucked-up stories that occur naturally when humans excrete, why would anybody want to go to the trouble to lie, let alone plagiarize when nature gives us so much, er, raw material? I want to believe the author in good faith ...

sure, this story is possible. But some people do lie and exaggerate. The reasons vary, I don't think Phaze has much to gain by lying accept for getting a thrill from seeing something he wrote appear on the Net.

This is clearly a hoax. An older person can have all sorts of medical conditions and I'm sure is someone actually had made a brown pacific ocean in their pants while spilling vomit onto the floor...well 911 would have been dialed and the person taken to a hospital. A cold water hose down coupled with that psychological trauma could potentailly kill someone if they have a weak heart. No park would open themselves up to such liability.

I do however have to give credit where it is due and say that the force of gravity effect on the bowels was an excellent point to bring into discussion. Space travel for extended periods weakens bones and muscle. I wonder how bad the GI tract gets. The space toilet is a pretty bad looking deal. I don't think I could use it after having been so accustomed to reading on my earth thrown for so many years.

bullsh*t. heh.

basically the only similarities i see between the two stories is a) puking combined with barfing, which we KNOW can and does happen, and an employee coming into the bathroom with a hose. I'd like to also point out that in this story, 2 employees hose the man in question down, whereas in the stakehouse story, the manager merely brings in the hose, and the protagonist washes the place down.

I don't think this story is necessarily a ripoff, or untrue. I'm willing to give the author the benefit of the doubt.

If you worked at an amusement park, would you actually hose down an old man that is covered in his own shit?

If you were an old man, would you want to stand naked like an animal as 2 strangers laughed as they hosed your shit off your balls?

This is such a crock of shit, stories like these hurt PoopReport's integrity.

I must agree with Doniker. After reading Phaze's story, I can't say that the word "ligitimate" went through my mind many times. I'm not saying it's not possible, but c'mon! The part that I'm not buying is that a fellow pooper in the next stall stayed throughout the whole ordeal! As soon as I see shit flowing into my stall from my neighbor, I'm done. Outta there.For all I know it could be faulty plumbing and the entire bathroom is about to explode into a liquid shit tornado! Also, unless Phaze is really not a grandpa (old) or "young at heart" I don't think his analysis, words or analogies fit that of a person that's...let's say...a geezer! Who knows, I could be wrong. Just for the record, MY stories are 100% true. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. Not to mention I don't have to. I'd like to hear some rebuttle from Phaze. Whatta ya say?

hmmmmm, you don't necessarily have to be an "old geezer" to be a grandpa. I know many in their late 40s or early 50s who are grandparents and even have grandkids that are in the 9, 10, 11 and 12 year old range. Please, I hope nobody will respond that a guy in his 50s IS really an old geezer! But analyzing it a little further, I see his email handle is "keenan." So let's say that is his actual first name, I'd have to doubt that a guy in his 50s would be named keenan ...but I know, that's a far-fetched assumption.

So anyway, Phaze, let's hear some feedback. Just how old are you? I like your stories, never-the-less. :)

this story inspired me to attempt to stick a chilidog in my rectum, then poop it out in front of some people at work, and tell them "i havent been digeting food that well" to make a long story short, the chili dog just kinda crumpled in my hands and i'm not "loose" enough to get it in there. I woulda made Adeline Aguilar at work laugh a whole bunch. maybe next time. Maybe i could try a pack of twizzlers next time. those ridges would feel good going in too. :)

Jonathan, you got issues. See a therapist.

I am still having trouble amagining his story. I guess it could be true but....

lol that is so embarrassing

One day a long time ago. Centapedes ruled the earth and homosexuals were the kings of the underworld. Seems it has switched.

PS I love men too!!!

I RIDE MEN LIKE HORSES

Actually, it is a true story and I wrote it. The Steakhouse Incident initially appeared in alt.tasteless and the original text can be found either in that archive or at http://www.ihos.com/steakhouse.html

Steve

likely untrue, but a good story

My older sister worked at a theme park and never did she encounter a "hose-down". Like someone stated above, if she found anyone in this state they were usually taken away in an ambulance. Not to mention there is a clean-up proceedure that has to be followed when dealing with any bio-hazard, such as human puke and crap.

This is one of the worst PR disasters I've ever read.

Though I do question the authenticity of this story, I think that it is fairly well written, and has its funny points.
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