When you gotta go, you really gotta go!

I totally understand your predicament, Anne. When I was living in New Orleans and a decade or two younger, I was prone to doing stupid things like prowling around the French Quarter at ungodly hours. One night around 3AM I was walking to my car from a round of such carousing, and I felt just such an urge as you describe. I realized that I wasn't going to be able to even reach my car a few blocks away. So I quickly found a dark alleyway, ripped down my pants, squatted behind a trash can and spewed out the penalty for subjecting my guts to way too much alcohol on top of my evening meal of mostly veggies. I had nothing to wipe with, so that was one pair of briefs I had to abandon later on, but at least I was able to reach my car and drive home, a prospect that had seemed nearly impossible a few minutes earlier when those massive cramps had hit.

You did what you had to do under the circumstances, and there's very little else on your mind when it happens that way.

An excellent story of Shameless Shitting. I also enjoy when women post here, because they decide to end the stereotype "Gilrs never fart or shit"

That stuff was dripping down your leg! How could you deal with that? Didn't it get on the car seat? It's good that your husband was fairly understanding and didn't bring it up later.

Same thing happens to me when I eat Kentucky Fried Chicken. KFC plus 90 minutes equals butterscotch pudding. If I'm 91 minutes away from a stall, too bad 'cause it's gonna come at 90 and there's no stopping it.

Super Pooper, it wasn't a lot on my leg, and when I pulled my jeans up, that protected the car seat. You're darn right I was glad to not have to clean my leather seats!!!

I'm glad you chose Costco (not that you had a choice, but.....) because I hate those big-box type warehouses. They shit all over the small business people in small towns, so why not shit on them??

Ahh...romance.

I think that in all of our lifetimes there is atleast one moment where we have to shit in a very comprimising situation. Luckily yours turned out to be really funny.

There have only been two times in my life when I've urgently had to go #2 and both times I feigned the urge to pee instead with the company I was with.

Anne, boy can I relate to your story, except my GI dilemma was resolved in a forest....when you gotta go that bad, you gotta go! though I wish you could have shit in the parking lot of the Real Canadian Superstore, they deserve it even more than Costco!

Anne, you're not anywhere near alone in this. Once, on a trip home from Ocean City, MD, I couldn't resist one last order of fried clams. Big mistake! About an hour later on the Eastern approach to the Chesapeake Bay Bridge, the gig was up. Luckily, the traffic was backed up to a dead stop due to a holiday. I leaped from the car, jumped the guardrail, tumbled down the embankment to the tide-line, and had the good fortune to find a large-diameter culvert at the foot of the roadbed. I scrambled in, dropped trau, and shit my guts out. Realizing my pants were not gonna be welcomed back into the car, I wiped my butt with whatever parts of the legs remained suitable to the task, and left them in the culvert. I took my T-shirt off and tied it somewhat strategically around my waist and returned to the car. To this day, I thank goodness this happened before we reached mid-span on the bridge, because I know for a fact I would have had to hang my ass over the rail and blow clams into the bay seven hundred feet below.

T-Grunt, you mighta been in the Guiness Book!

DOES EVERYONE REALLY SHIT?

I too, have been in a position of barely being able to control it. About a year or so ago, I was involved in a conversation with a young lady at the office, when I became of aware of a brewing abdominal volcanoe. I tried to end the conversation, but still felt in control, as I have always been able to tell the difference between false poop labor and the real thing. However, as the conversation ended, I became to make my way to my normal safe haven, which was about 200 yards away. As I walked towards it faster and faster, little farts started escaping. I walked faster as I felt it was going to unload at any minute. When I finally got to the stall, I began unbuttoning my pants as fast as I could and started farting uncontrollably, literally. I just sat down and released a torrent of crap into the pot. That was the closest I ever came.

I have IBS, and have had a lot of close calls. I've always managed to make it, although sometimes with scant seconds to spare...until a few weeks ago. I lost the battle. I was on a road trip, going to Eastern Washington. Any of you familiar with I-90 between George and Moses Lake are aware that it is the middle of nowhere. Not only are there no facilities until you're about two miles away from Moses Lake, but there aren't even any little roads off the freeway that you could rush down in an emergency. Not only that, but most of the surrounding area is flat...no hills or bushes to hide behind. My bowels had been well-behaved most of the trip, and I had been very careful in my eating habits to insure continued bowel compliance. Yet suddenly, I feel a most evil gurgling, and my midsection tightens like a hose clamp has just been wrapped around me. I tell my boyfriend, "I need a bathroom, NOW!" He puts the hammer down. We are flying. There is no sign of salvation. I am now in serious pain, plus I am beginning to realize that my hard fought battle to retain my dignity despite this illness is about to be lost. I have tears rolling down my face, and I am NOT a crier. I gasp "There's nowhere to go! What am I going to do?" BF says, "You'll do what you have to." And then he PULLS THE CAR OVER! ON I-90!!! He pulled the car off the road at an angle, so the car hid me from traffic in our direction, and mostly hid me from the opposite side. Opening the car doors helped hide me further. I am dying. It is broad daylight, but I am in too much pain to give a fuck anymore. I crouch behind the car, and barely get my pants dropped before my ass explodes. It was horrifying. I cried the whole time. Luckily we had some kleenex in the car, so cleanup was easy. I got back in the car, too mortified to respond to my BFs efforts to comfort me. ONE FREAKING MILE down the road, I see a sign: Rest area, 2 miles. I nearly died. However, my BF pointed out that I would not have made two miles. He was right. IBS--1, LeeAnn--0

LeeAnn, I know what you mean about moderating what you eat. There are certain days when I just know I can't eat certain things -- I've learned to tell somehow. I used to have a lot of anxiety about my inability to control pooping sometimes, but now I just try to travel around somewhat prepared (with pads or something to wipe with, whatever), and figure "Hey, it's out of my hands, dude!"

I've come to realize that some of the problems I have with IBS are mental. The more worried I get about it, the more likely I am to have a problem. Anxiety seems to trigger the symptoms. What's really odd is that some days I can eat anything and have no problems at all, but on other days, even a meal of brown rice and vegetables will bring on horrifying diarrhea. I've kind of learned how to tell when something is going to give me problems, but I still get surprised every now and then. IBS is just a miserable disorder to live with, but I suppose there are worse things. It would probably help if I were closer to shameless than shameful...at least then maybe the anxiety wouldn't factor into the equation as often.

the savior for all IBS is called 'immodium-AD'

Hi Anne! That was a great story and I really enjoyed it.

Anne I can imagine what you went through. It's more embarrassing for a woman to defecate in public. It's just something that's completely off-limits. I remember my boyfriend and I visited Egypt in 1999 and I drank some contaminated water which led to me having diarhea. As hard as I tried to make it to the bathroom at our hotel, I was forced to run to a side-street and drop my jeans in a public area and shit with a couple of onloookers watching the brown waterfall explode out of ass in a disgusting outcry of freedom from my colon. Some of the Egyptian men were laughing and some were just shocked, watching an American girl shitting her ass out on the streets in such a humiliating fashion since she couldn't hold it.

Well, when you've gotta go you've gotta go! These things happen and if you're in a foreign climate, particularly in a country you're not used to, the tummy sometimes decides to rebel. I'm a Brit but if I went to America I think my guts would probably rebel until I got used to the different food, water and air. No doubt the same would happen to you if you visited the UK.

I recall my parents telling me about their trip to Egypt a few years back. They had gone with some friends of theirs who hadn't been before. My parents had already visited that country and already had their own "first time liqui-shits".

Their friend Paul, however, had not. Apparently this can be a pretty severe reaction in some people that may be a sort of food poisoning combined with exposure to local unfamiliar microorganisms.

In any case, Paul went into the bathroom one day and didn't come out for a long time. When they went in looking for him, they found him passed out unconscious on the toilet. The room was covered with barf and poo, ceiling, floor, walls, everywhere. My dad thought it was the funniest thing ever, because he'd lived through something similar on his first trip to Egypt!

Anne, that bears out my theoris about the effects of travelling to a different climate and eating different food. I don't think I'd ever consider travelling without taking a packet of Imodium or something similar with me.

Enjoyed reading about your experience in the parking lot. Have you had any more interesting experiences lately?

The only recent experience even remotely interesting would be one about three days ago. It seemed fairly normal at first, but I realized that it had actually been a little more than 2 days since I last shit. The quantity of it was rather surprising -- it didn't seem like that much coming out, but it actually piled up enough that it broke the surface of the water. I flushed twice and couldn't dislodge it all, so I guess it was sticky, too. Ewww.

Thanks, Anne. Is it fairly usual for you to have a daily motion or is it more likely to be every 2-3 days - or just as and when? I tend to find myself having at least one a day although the timing is less predicatable than it used to be. At one time it was after tea every day - like clockwork. Nowadays it can be any time more or less, depending on what I've eaten or drunk.

I guess I typically go about once a day, under ideal circumstances.

Also, like many women, the few days a month during my period are usually unpleasant, because everything I eat gives me the runs. Something hormonal I suppose. A couple of weeks ago that combined with a crab meat dinner that had me in the bathroom a total of 7 times within the space of 30 minutes, and the last 5 trips were almost pure liquid coming out of my ass. I have no idea what causes that. It was quite remarkable.

Thanks for the information, Anne. I was intrigued by what you said about that 'difficult time of the month' creating a situation where you're likely to get the runs. I've heard from other women that it can affect their BM's too but a lot of them claim that it makes them constipated - or at least they're constipated for a day or two beforehand.

Have you ever discussed your experience with the doctor? It could be that you are perhaps susceptible to a mild form of IBS as well as the hormonal difficulties. Also, have you ever tried Imodium? I've found that it settles a dose of the runs fairly effectively.

I think that I probably have a very mild form of IBS. When I was eight years old, I was in and out of the emergency room over the course of several months with some kind of abdomenal complaint that was never conclusively diagnosed. I nearly died -- body functions shutting down one by one. The best guess they made was Crohn's Disease, although I never had a relapse and have been fine every since.

Perhaps my colon is a little cranky as a result of some damage done during that illness. Dunno. But usually I can predict on any given day what kinds of food will aggravate it.

Have tried Immodium on occasion. Zantac as well. Good stuff. I was at home for the crab attack so I just endured it. Mostly I was fascinated to see how long it would go on.

I'm sure there's a hormonal component to the menstrual colonic difficulties. Going on the Pill has eased it somewhat, and I try to avoid greasy foods during that span of time.

hey anne umm i was wonderign as a womens question after u have a bowel movement do u wipe your ass with regualr toilet paper o r wet wipes or do you not wipe your ass at all, and what i your worst bowel ever, thankx Anne your story was great

Anne also if u cdu answer my frist question my second question is how old are you, and if your pretty or not or over weight? thankx, and also what is your worst pooping in the toilet experience/ thats all ill get back to you thankx hun

last ? lol sry anne for so many for but how many cases of diarrhea have y had in your life

when u poop do u ever fart it out ?

Thanks for the feedback, Anne. It sounds as though your colon is certainly a bit wilful to say the least and it's hardly surprising in view of the medical history you've given. I hope things improve for you with the passage of time. Did you have a good Christmas, by the way? I did but I found my intestines struggled rather with the rich festive fare and I was very windy for a day or two after eating too much turkey and plum pudding as well as the inevitable mince pies.

Happy New Year!

Adrian

hey adrain i had a good xmas, my name is katy, and i was jus wondering after u have a movement do u wipe ur ass wit wet wipes regualr toilet paper and do u not do it at all, and my second question was cud u explain wud kinda experince u ahd over chritsmas pooping did u have it bad or wut if u cud explain that and have u ever had diarrhea?

Thanks Katy. I had a good Christmas too. By way of answer to your first question I always wipe using dry TP. As regards my experiences over Christmas I was rather constipated which is quite normal for me over the festive season and I fully expected it.

On rare occasions I have had a dose of the runs and I think that's true of most people.

yes i experienced simialr thing over xmas break , mainly because i stuff myself usually so i was pooping about twice a day my boyfrind was like are you okay. some more questions i had and this is from a women's prospective, which are do u poop once a day 2cea a day once every other day and waht color is your poop because i tedn to hear womens is a different color alot, and my last question is when was the last time you experienced diarrhea and if u could throughally explain that with all details and what it looked like and its texture, thankz adrian, if u have any questions for me u just ask,
-katy

i forgot to add 2 more questions adrian sorry i know these are gross but i am really tryin to get a women's perspective back to the when u had last diarrhea also what was it liikt when it same out and does your poop ever make a ploop when your inna public restroom and does that embarres you?

Usually I poop at least once or twice a day, only missing on rare occasion. The colour, consistency and texture tends to vary depending on what I've eaten and drunk.

The last time I had the runs badly was a year or more ago and I don't remember too much about what my output was like. I do remember being glad to get the experience over with though!

So far as I can remember I'ver not had any really noisy or explosive experiences in public. I tend to save #2 for when I'm at home - it's easier and less hassle.

hey adrian, last time u had a bowel movement wut did it look like in toilet and wut wus the texture, and have u EVER farted out ur poop b4, and have u ever finished ur business wtiho8ut wiping urself 2 more q's hjow do u wipe urself like wut do u do, and after u wipe urslef ussally wut dus the toilet paper look like after u wipe, and how old r u and r u fat or skinny or wut, \THHANX HUN
!!!

Knowing CostCo, they probably took it inside and sold it for half price. Then again, what would be full price for a turd pile?

It would have been more of a turd puddle than a pile. :) I've always wiped with dry toilet paper, although wet wipes aren't a half-bad idea. I really think Americans could stand to adopt the bidet as a bathroom fixture.

As to the question about weight, yes I am somewhat overweight at 196 lbs. I don't know whether there is a connection there with bowel movements. Might be interesting if any docs out there know.

Hi Anne. It's good to see a post from from after what seems like a long time.

I had a problem with itchiness a few years ago and my GP (doctor) advised me to wipe with moist wipes rather than dry TP. Willing to try his advice I tried them out but a chemical they contained didn't suit me and I went back to dry wiping. Thankfully the itchiness cleared up of its own accord. For what it's worth I think dry wiping is okay so long as you shower regularly, preferably after you've taken a dump, however often you do it.

I wouldn't worry too much about your weight so long as you're happy and feel comfortable with it and it doesn't pose a major danger to your health. I carry a little more than I'd like but shedding it is easier said than done. At the moment I'm still overdoing it on the Easter chocolate - a good laxative if ever there was one. At least it puts a smile on my face!

hey adrian i hvnt respnded in a whule and i was wondering ( because the colors r very different) wut color ( usually) is your toilet paper after you wipe and really araidn y do u wipe your ass??? and lastley do u wipe your ass sitting or standing and if u do it sitting which arm do u use and do u go around ur bak or under your front and wut motion do u use is like a swipe por jus a spec.

Is it just me, or does katy seems a little too intrigued by the details of how people poop? And I'm still wondering why she asked me if I was pretty or not.

Hi Anne. Glad to see you back again after a long absence. In answer to your question about katy I think only she knows why she's so interested in the details of how people poop. However, I think it's very much in the nature of this forum that people are naturally curious about details.

I don't know about you Anne, but I can be quite constipated and not do much for days at a time. Then there'll come a day when I do 2 or 3 good poos. What about you? Have you had a really good poo just lately when going or rather the sense of emptiness and sheer relief afterwards felt oh-so-good?

u r right anne, bu ardian can u answer my question

Katy, the toilet paper is normally a medium brown when I've wiped and I wipe (usually front to back) standing up and using as much TP as I need to get tolerably clean. Clean enough to risk pulling my underpants back up that is! Goodness, you don't half ask some questions! It would be lovely to hear from Anne again though.

I just took a poo here at work that was so weird I felt compelled to tell you all about it. :) It was green, like Army green, and came out in little, thin snakes. Looked like floating Cheetos in the bowl. Last night I ate some El Sabroso guacamole tortilla chips, hence the green color. I don't recommend those before bed, by the way. I woke up with garlic breath that would kill an elephant.

Thanks for your latest reply, Anne. I've heard reports before of people eating strange things that affect their output. Have you ever eaten anything else slightly unusual that's affected your output. I tend to find that sweetcorn (not one of my favourite things but I will eat it if it lands on my plate) tends to pass through my system undigested with the little yellow shells being clearly visible in my poo the next day. Also, I tend to find that whilst I'm okay eating raw tomatoes, cooked ones tend to give me the runs. I don't know whether cooking them alters their chemical composition in any way.

Cooking tomatoes does change their chemical composition, yes. That's true of many foods. I can eat cooked onions, but raw ones often give me the runs.

Tomatoes are also notorious for reacting chemically to cookware made of certain materials, such as copper and aluminum. They should always be cooked in stainless steel. :)

hey guys, i react too thst way when i eat mexican food from certain resturants 2, i find that sometimes i am fine but other times i get diarrhea severly and cant figure out y and i have grown too learn wut resturants to eat at and not, and i was wondering u guys keep on saying the word runs, i dont know wut runs mena mayb u cud tell me and tell me how u guys r doing? thanks!!!!!!

Anne H. Thanks for the information on cooked tomatoes. I'll try and pay heed to what you've said about the cookware they're prepared in too. Having said that, I was out on Thursday morning and, deciding to live dangerously, had a cooked breakfast somewhere and it included a cooked tomato. Not knowing what the outcome would be, I decided to risk eating it and got away with it. There were no apparent ill effects. However, I think if I decided to eat a plateful of cooked tomatoes I would probably end up with a bad case of the runs. I was interested in what you said about having problems with raw onions but being able to tolerate cooked ones. For you to be okay with them, do they have to be boiled, steamed or fried? Also are there any rules to be observed about the cookware to be used with onions?

katy. It's not unusual for some people to react badly to Mexican dishes. If you find that from repeated experience they upset your stomach or bowels I think common sense advice would be to steer clear of them. I think it's probably true that most people are intolerant to something or another - perhaps in some instances a whole range of foods - whether they realise it or not. At the end of the day I think you have to go on experience. If a food repeatedly gives you tummy problems or upsets your toileting, it's probably best to avoid it.

what are the runs?

no shame folks. no shame.

I had an incident like this once as a teenager only it was in a Wal-Mart parking lot. We were on a field trip up the Gorge and I got a case of food poisoning. Took a dump right there in the trees.

What the fuck??

I don't know if the chemical composition changes so much as the fiber is broken down.

Everyone has one of those "I gotta go now" moments.

All that can be done is to make the most out of it, and follow the poop god's command.
_______
A man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.