MAIN SECTIONS
MAIN SECTIONS
Stories About Poop Intellectual Crap Consumer Reports Fun with Feces Poop at the Office Techniques Travel Logs The Captain's Log Academic Poop Home  
RESOURCES The PoopReport Gift Pack Poop Culture: The Book The PoopReport Store The Skatole Shirt PoopReport FAQ Best Of PoopReport Press Room Advertise! PoopReport on Myspace PoopReport on Facebook NEWS AND ADVICE The BM News Wire Ask PoopReport Ask a Poodiatrist Eternal Debates FEATURES Special Reports Movie Poop Archive Toilet Paper Survey Pooetry Comics Poop Contests MOVEMENTS I Poop and I Vote!  Shameless Shitting Poop For Peace The Summer Stoolstice DISCUSSIONS Shit Of My Career Childbirth Poop Book Of The Shameless First Memory of Poop More... REPORT POOP Poop Forums PoopReport Chat Submit 
NavigationPoop Comics Our BuddiesLower left rotating ad most recent poll -- formattedPoop at the Movies |
 The Incredible Disappearing TurdPosted 06.06.2002 by Brett (18)
One gloomy, overcast day during high school, I was on my way to class like any
other day. I began to feel like a poop was coming, but did not have to go
at that time. Soon after I was in class and it came on like no other -- I did
not even take the time to ask to leave. I was out the door, hand on
stomach, in full stride.
I made it to the bathroom and clutched the doorhandle and flung it open with a thunderous boom! I entered the first stall only to find that some other pooper had used all of the TP. I was in a frenzy at this point -- I considered pooping with no TP and duck-walking to the next stall, but then I began to worry about other poopers coming into the equation, so I made my move. I took several strides towards the other stall and just as I made it in, I looked at the dispenser and there it was, like a white wedding dress, a brand new roll! I quickly hunched over my target and began to let it all go. Keep in mind that I never sit on the throne completly, unless I am at home. I pushed a few times, but nothing would come out. It then occurred to me that I had a Problem Turd. I pushed and pushed until I had beads of sweat dripping down my brow... yes, this one was a true log. At last the turd was exposed to the fresh air and I peeked between my legs -- only to frighten myself. Ladies and gentlemen, this one was a record breaker for me. It was the largest turd ever. I soon realized that I was in for a huge splash from the massive falling turd. I quickly came up with a plan. I was going to leap forward to escape the poop bomb's blast. I knew this was going to take perfect timing so I gave a final push and felt the turd break free. I leaped forward as far as could only to become ghostly afraid -- I never heard a splash. I knew something was not right. There was no way this log could have been streamlined enough to not splash. The suspense grew and I knew I had to do it. I slowly, so slowly looked in my underwear that was down to my feet... to my amazement, there was nothing there! I quickly looked in the throat of the toilet. Still no signs of poop. What has happened to my poop, I wondered. I was a bit disappointed because I wanted to tell some of my classmates to go look at my freshly made trophy. I wiped and to even more surprise there was nothing there. At this point I was truly disturbed. What the hell was going on in this stall? Was there a mysterious phenomenon taking place? Was there a lurking turd burglar? I flushed the toilet paper and turned to leave out of the stall... and there it was! The turd was across the stall against the wall in front of the toilet. We are not talking about a small stall here -- the wall was a good eight feet from the throne! Somehow, without me seeing, the turd was flung between my legs (missing the ol' jewels and other parts)! The flying turd! I returned to class to tell my story, only to be accused of turd vandalism. -- Brett Post new comment
|
Ad 1
Ad 2
Text Ads
Recent comments
Who's onlineThere are currently 0 users and 479 guests online.
GoDaddyThong ad Highest Users
Browse content by author View some statistics Learn more about userpoints |
