I believe we can add this cursed Wal-Mart to the list of holy PoopReport locations... on your way to visit the giant urinal at Bubby's Restaurant in NYC, stop in Bethlehem and see if you, too, shit your pants in this Wal Mart.

I'd actually RATHER crap my pants than go poop in a public washroom. I think the top 3 most disgusting washrooms worldwide belong to the chains of McDonald's, WalMart and Pizza Hut. Of course, I don't actually have any proof of this. Hmmm... does Poop Report give out funding for grants to study things like that? Dave, please let me know. I'm in between jobs and I could really use something to do.

I find that when I go into certain stores that have strong odors (i.e. dust, mold, cleaning products, etc) or that are really really cold (like being in the frozen foods section of the supermarket), my bowels loosen.

At that point I have 3 options. One is to exit, stage left. The second is to try to hold it in while I complete my purchase. The third, is find a bathroom, let 'er rip, and go back to shopping.

For some reason, I find Dollar Stores to be the most offensive and haven't set foot in one in months.

However, there is a bright side to this...If I'm constipated, I can always go to the supermarket and get some ice cream. :-)

AssBlaster, haven't you told this story like 10 times on the forums? Get some original material already. I wouldn't have even made this comment but I only did because you are always there to jump on the "doniker is a menace to PoopReport" bandwagon when the opportunity arises, and I currently feel the juvenile urge to fight back.

For the record, AB posted this to the forums a long time ago. Every so often, I like to repost old stories from the forums because they're too entertaining to languish in obscurity. So if you're seeing this for the second time, enjoy it, and feel proud that you're on the inside and got to see it the first time.

Doniker . . . you'd be an awesome Poopreporter instead of a menace to Poopreport if you didn't pollute the site with your juvenile urges, and that's why I jump on the bandwagon. Oh well. I guess old habits die hard.

The Wal Mart by where I live has a pretty clean restroom. Had to use it once on one of my late night shopping trips on the way to work... the handicrapper even has its own sink!

Well, WalMart was kind of my haven once when I had a prisioner in my butt that needed to escape. You see I'm really a car nut and I was about 20 at the time I was at a local pull it yourself car parts place. I was hunting for car parts at the time. Anywho, the pain was so intense that I went to the parking lot and saw one of those portopotties. As much as it grossed me out I opened the door and went in. OMG. It was the most disgusting thing I had ever seen in my life! There was decomposing (if that is possible) poop upon poop in a giant pile of filth and ewwwwwwwww gross.

I know what you all are thinking. Why did I not just drop trow and take a dump in the yard? Well, I've been going to that place for like 8 years and some employees knew me by name and it was just wrong in that context.

Anywho I drove to a local WalMart and found a very sanitary restroom with ample okay quality TP. I was a new man. BTW on the way inside I opened the door for a woman that was pushing a cart with her infant son in the seat. That store did not have automatic doors for some reason. I did an unselfish thing for which I knew I would get no immediate reward while I had this intestinal malace. I know I earned some brownie (no pun intended) points with God that day. I mean she was a mom like 15 years over my age so there was no "to impress and get a #" type thing going on. It was an unselfish act 100%.

Oh, the employees have a regular restroom but I couldn't ask to use that cause if the big boss fond out the employee that let me use it then they'd probably be forced to use that portopottie for some time as punishment.

Assblaster, you don't think I am an awesome Poopreporter? You are in the minority. Not to toot my own horn but I know for a fact that many people enjoy my work.

If I was nice to everybody and hid my true feelings, would that make me a better PoopReporter in your eyes?

Ain't gonna happen.

I am not against you AB. I have always enjoyed your posts and I think you are a good person. You have the guts to be yourself and not submit to the stereotyping. When you discribe yourself and your lifestyle you remind me of my friend Carol, and she is a great person.

Doniker, I didn't say that I didn't enjoy your work. I do, actually. I just don't enjoy when you act like an asshole, and I have the balls to say something about it. Truly, though, your assaholic behavior is just part of you. I actually miss you flaming TCM, in a crazy way. You give some flavor to the site and bust people's balls. It's only when it gets out of hand that I get pissed off. What can I say, I have an easier time standing up to people on the Internet than in real life.

Well as I have told Dave and many others my "out of hand" days are long gone. It is no fun being on the outside looking in and only having limited access to PR.

Time heals all wounds but yet I may never be forgiven for my past mistakes.

I don't come on PR or any site for the sole purpose of busting balls, it's just that sometimes things turn out that way.

K, I don't know any of you all that well, but ya'll remind me of these 2 girls I went to school with. Except they used to bite and scratch each other while having these kinds of conversations. Fond memories...

Anyway, you are both excellent poop reporters. Quit the scrapping or I'm going to ask Dave if I can sell tickets and shirts to a PoopReporters Fight To the Poopy Death. And the washrooms at this event will NOT be clean, people!

All Mal-Warts make me wanna shit!

yes, my wal mart is cursed too. a similar thing happened to me.

I hate using public toilets because I hate the thought that someone else has already shit or pissed on the seat, especially a black seat where you can't see how disgusting they really are. I always spit and wipe and rub and flush and THEN I take my shit.

As is my custom (and as should be yours too), I NEVER, (let me repeat for emphasisis), I NEVER EVER Flush. I figure it is more fair to those behind me to share my load and foul mud sculpture than it is to waste such masterful artwork.

On the same token, if I FIND a load I can't convince myself to use that crapper. Hey, call me weird okay?

I EAT POOP!!!!!!

A cursed Wal-Mart. Probably cursed by a disgruntled employee. Then again, if that's the case ALL Wal-Marts would be cursed.
Ahem, anyway, if you had done your dirty deed in a K-Mart bathroom no one would be able to smell the difference.

Dude, that was disgusting. You actually had solidified shit come out of your ass at a Wal-Mart? Man, you really need some help.

when i'm in a portapottie i just take some tp and put some of the hand sanitizer on it and wipe the seat.

my friends little bro pissed himself in wal mart before

i laughed my ass off thanks for the laugh!

Best of luck locating your ass. I hope it re-attaches well.

;)

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

As I've gotten to know certain PoopReporters better it's always great when one of their first tales turns back up for comments. I reread the story and see if it has a different light than it did upon my first impression.

This one didn't, and I can proudly say I'd have been right behind her in the WalMart check out line snickering about the obviousness of her purchases. Sounds like you dropped a Whopper where McDonalds rule AB2K, I guess you really did "have it your way".

Wal-mart is the perfect place to crap yourself. Wet wipes and underwear are available for purchase.

And chances are the cashier you're buying them from has just shit her pants too.

_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

AB2K - If you could have used the poop to repair a sidewalk you may want to start looking at it as a renewable natural resource. Bridges, high-rise apartments, tunnels, and roads could be built from it. And you would be repulsively rich. And because it was my idea, you could give me royalties and I could lead the self indulgently destructive lifestyle I've always wanted to. Just think - even gravemarkers could made from AB2Kite (tradename - dibs on the copyright)!
Oh wait, reality is calling - I need my medication again.

Being in the Wal-mart had an upside(undies and wipes)just think what would have happened IF you were at say Home Depot?______
Producing waste since 1967