Another good idea: don't eat cereal every morning if you are lactose intolerant. Man, I tell myself that every day at 2 pm or so... but do I listen? no.

puckered chunksticator...love it!!!

Master...did you eat and drink all of this in just one day?! And have you recovered yet?

NEVER eat fast food meals for 2 days when you are on the road and expect the people you are going to see to not find out that you are a shitter.

The grease will lubricate your GI tract better than what Castrol does the inside of an engine. All contents will slip out of you for at least 2 days.

Tydrium you go takel actaid pills and enjoy your breakfast with no problem. Check ou http://www.lactaid.com/

They also sell milk which is nasty. Try Chocolate soy milk in your cereal. That is mad skillzzzzz

Another commandment: Thous shalt not consume McDonlad's quarter pounder with cheese. That with anything is a recipe for butt piss.

I can't believe what guys can put away, holy shit! I'm impressed! Six eggs? Oh the smell of what your poor chunksticator birthed....thanks for another ROFL story Mastercrapper....

crack my ass up /ThVghn

Rule of thumb: NEVER eat power bars. I ate a few of these on one of my camping trips and I spent the rest of the time shitting out brown lava. Power bars are so nasty!

....CORN....A great way to accessorise!

One could probably take out two or three of the "do nots" and be perfectly fine.

Rules for flying to Hong Kong-
1. When they suggest you walk around a little on the 15 hour flight, do not just sit like an idiot in your seat the whole way.
2. Do not pass up those free water bottles that keep going by.
3. Do not eat the Chinese noodles.
4. Do not eat the salty airplane food that follows.
5. Do not fall asleep in an awkward position so as to cut off the circulation to your legs.

Your legs will swell to the size of tree trunks, you will feel like cement from the waist down, you will gain about 100 pounds of water weight, AND you black, sticky shit will smell like burnt electrical wiring.

(I should write up this story for PR.)

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I was a category five! Category five, I tell you! Get it right or I'll be back to PROVE IT!!!!- Katrina

Chuck, just to be on the safe side, do not consume Mc Donald's at all.
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It's not nice to fool mother nature.