Incidentally, this was the first story I ever published on PoopReport. Incredible how far things have come...

"A Bridge To Far"

The first story to history. Man, you guys are a lot better writers now. No offense, I just mean more informative.

It sure has come far!

too short!

bit short...

back in the days when game boys were as big as a playstation

With all the new features, I've been exploring the site again. So I came here, to the very first PoopReport story, or at least the first by Dave. I guess this is somewhat akin to looking at early cave drawings and reflecting on how far civilization and art has come since. We should not judge this by today's standards, obviously. Do keep in mind, however, that this little gem adds 10 points to Dave's User Point total.

10 points well earned, I'd say!

Me too. I looked at the stories right after this first one, posted by Gabe. These little diddies make this first story of yours seem like a novel, packed with details and excitement. What were you guys thinking back then?

is that the end of the story?? i wanna know what happened! did you poop your pance? get out of the car and run home? what??

No, after an hour of pain, we made it over the bridge and I pooped in a sketcy McDonalds in the Bronx.

What were we thinking? Honestly, I think that we thought funny little anecdotes like this would be entertaining. This was more or less the content philosophy of the site for about five months. And then Jeff, aka Klaus Kinski, submitted the first long-form poop report. After that, it became apparent that stories aren't nearly as entertaining as style...

Maybe the first stories were good because it was still funny just to see the word "poop." Once that joke wore off, it was time to evolve...

In this case, the theory of evolution works! I've never gotten "involved" with a web site before, but this is the greatest! Dave, you have a natural knack for this which I am sure can/does make you big bucks in other arenas. But thanks to you and the other site moderators for this labor of love on behelf of the colonically challenged everywhere. As I said in a recent Forums post: "There are some of the best creative writers in cyberspace here.... The site is managed in a way that would make Walt Disney proud--any "real" filth disappears almost as soon as it hits the pavement. Newcomers are made to feel welcome; (almost) all points of view are tolerated; and the result is at least one pee-in-your-pants, spit-whatever-you're-drinking-out-your-nose belly laugh every time you come here."

I just can't say it enough--Thanks again for the gift of laughter!

As with most things, it took me a while to find the first PoopReport story ever, but once I did, I felt like an idiot when I realized how simple it was to get here. All I can really say is that this is a great post for a new site. But man have we come a long way!

Like The Dumpster, this is the first site I can recall that I've gotten really involved with. I'm sure some of you probably think I'm here all the time (and I am). Thank you all for making me feel welcome and for making PoopReport what it is now. I look forward to staying here so long as I can.

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Um, yeah. My sig. So, about that... I'm not doing one this week.

The Lost Scrolls of Poopdom. I'd take off my shoes, but I just had my toenails done and I wouldn't want to ruin them. :-P

First story ever posted on PoopReport! What a work of art.

Dave writes: "What a work of art."

Jackson Pollock would be proud.

I know the first story I wrote was posted in June 2001 and my first post on the forums was Sept. 2001.
But I can't remember or find when I posted my first comment.

I feel like I'm riding the Way-Back machine with professor Peabody and Sherman.

"...DungDaddy (335) -- 09.06.2006 --
'I feel like I'm riding the Way-Back machine with professor Peabody and Sherman.'..."

OMG. You just shook loose about 20 childhood memories. I loved Professor Peabody and Sherman!

Dave fired the shat heard round the world. Well done.

Great job Dave, PR really has come a long long way.

By the way, I don't know what the Mass, Dept of Transportation is thinking but, 95% of our major highways up here have no restrooms. The only highway I know of with toilets is on the Mass Pike.
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Born to clog your bog, with a giant log.

i have never been to that area , i have however been in that same scenario. It is amazing how far this site has come since this story.

It is amazing that you spelled scenario correctly.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Dave, Baby.....PR has come a long way.
Producing waste since 1967

Jeez...I just got done asking Dave about reprinting the first PR story in a post to "The Log That Wasn't": duh, well here it is bonehead Fudgepump.
Is that really the whole thing, Dave? Damn, we're all SO spoiled with PR in its "07 form!
If anyone wants another real blast from the past, check out my new post to the Forums ("off-topic") titled "Historical Perspective".
Think about where you were in 1989.

Added a hot link, there, Fudge, for the purposes of continuing the "Where were you in 1989" conversation...

FP- It dawned on me too how to find it AFTER I posted my comment.
Producing waste since 1967

Wow Dave I am honored on my 350th posting to be reading YOUR first post. And now your almost to 11050! I really doo enjoy this site. The stories are funny, sometimes sad and yes sometimes religious. For those who havent read please read Gods Scatological Ultimatum! It has something for everyone. I also have enjoyed the Poop Culture Book. I read a little bit each nite and have found it both informative and entertaining! Dave its a great site lets keep it goin peeps! Hope you are enjoying your Aussie adventure!
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

The Gospel According to Hum bunger

In the beginning was the Report, and the Report was with Dave, and the Report was of Dave. This one was in the beginning with Dave. All reports came into existence through him, and apart from him not even one report came into existence.
What has come into existence by means of him was Poopreport, and the Poopreport was the deuce of mankind.
And the deuce is shining in the bowel, but the bowel has not overpowered it.

I've decided, since I haven't been here that long, to sit down and read/comment every story, but there rly isn't much to comment on here.
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I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

It's a great place to come and read when you have insomnia greenpoopertrooper. You can pass the night very quickly. Trust me, I know.

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Well, you don't actually blow on it. That's just an expression.

I tried it last night, but I didn't comment b/c some ppl on this site get angry if I comment old stories and they show up on the recent comment list.
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I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

just so you know, commenting isn't required. if you have nothing to say about a story, simply don't comment. nobody minds if old stories are brought up, in fact that's great! but nobody likes to see comments like, "there's nothing to comment on here." just don't comment if there's nothing to comment on, and you'll be fine.
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i love poop.

Thanks WP, but Bilgepump and Turd T-something mind, so I'll do it VERY sparingly sry to everyone about that, I didn't know how thing s worked around here, but now i do
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I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

GPT, go ahead and bring out old stories and make comments as you please. I for one won't be bothered. (BTW, "turbulence ahead and behind" is a story worth resurrecting)

I think I remember that one, I'll have to check, but if it's what I remember, then yes, that is a good one.
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I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!