That bitch better be out there cleaning the mess up...wouldn't pull over...sheesh!

When a guy describes himself as a 320 pound ex-linebacker, I wouldn't call his wife a bitch. Even on the internet. On behalf of PoopReport.com, Mr. O., i apologize for the previous comment.

Also, your story was great. One of the best ever -- great descriptions, hilarious.

It never ceases to amaze me -- the amount of food large men can binge on. Everyone knows when men eat like that it's always followed by some massive, scary shit, but the men hardly ever tell us girls that! Thanks for the read!

it's a shame i have to say such a thing on such a great story. This was awesome!

Disturbing fat americans. Jag? Surprised the fatass wasn't in an SUV.

Either way, a disturbing waste of gasoline nonetheless.

one platter chiken wings 2 platter chiken wings 3 beers oh my god! i think ur wife is a total biatch man and you are a fatass fatboy who eats all the twinkies

This story gives me the urge to drive up to my local bar and get some hot wings and beer. Hold the blue cheese.

Hey Crappercritic,

I have no way to get ahold of you except this. So to let you know: I'm bored with your flame war with Doniker. I'm going to delete any post in which one of you mentions the other from now on. You can both post all you want, but not about each other. It's gotten boring.

pretty poetic though anticlimactic. it was like a 2 minute fuck.

oops did I just write that? How unladylike.

hey brown word, every fuck and/or poop story will make the earth move.

Telling it like it is, is very ladylike.

ok I am drunk, I meant to say "won't" make the earth move.

OK fags, start ragging on me.

Honestly, who can sit there as a driver of a car and laugh at someone else who is in obvious poo related distress? And not pull over? I can understand how funny the urgency is to an observer, but even if you are completely unsympathetic to the person's plight (which is bad enough), I would think you'd want to let them crap outside the car simply to avoid the overpowering smell of beer poo filling the vehicle. Weird. Really weird.

Wow, That cow catcher spliting the sphincter sounds painful.Insane poop poetry! P.S. Dave I am glad you will be deleting these jackasses irrelevant coments! It sucks when you read a funny story and scroll down to enjoy all the weird musings then get hit with a name calling session. These jerks bum my poop report high. Its like taking a good dump and there no reading material, or worse yet you flip open your favorite magazine hoping to see a hot chick but then find some hairy dude in a cologne or cargo pant ad. Why does Stuff and Gear have so many pictures of sweaty dudes? That's the last thing I want to see when a turd is sliding out. It makes me want to stick to Victorias Secret. But their models are getting younger less volumptious every issue.

(for the record, the comment above that was attributed to crappercritic was fake. I deleted it. Still waiting to hear from the real crappercritic, who would certainly be slightly more literate)

CyberPoop:Every good story has a sadistic protagonist. Otherwise the story wouldn't have that human touch. Remember Judas? So see, the story wouldn't even evolve into a classic without the protagonist and his or her sometime seemingly uncharacteristically evil ways ... you gotta change, girl, you gotta change those evil ways ... NOT!

The shit wasn't from the wings. It was from the Schuylkill. Because the Schuylkill is shitty. You were probably stuck in traffic too, weren'tcha?

Good point Evan, but I in this particular story I would look at her as being the antagonist, one who fights/resits the action of another (the pooper/protagonist/generator of the poop). But I would point out that a sadistic an(pro)tagonist who endures (or enjoys?) a drive home with the smell of greasy fecal matter pervading the air in order to have a laugh at someone who shit their pants has gone beyond the mere functions of generating conflict. They have now become some sort of freak. No offense intended, just one view. The question that comes to my mind is "who should be more ashamed of themselves? The guy who shit his pants or the lady who forced him to do it?"

This story was a masterpiece! Its great that people are still renting Ray-O-Vacs. Please do not use our products as an artificial oral genital exciter. Keep your hopes and your pants up! Thank You!

i thought this story sucked. next time hang your ass out the window.

ps. ray-o-vacs are batteries

yeah hang your butt out the window like in "rat race" heck you might even be lucky enough to poop on a police car! another word of advice...STOP EATING LIKE A PIGGY FATBOY!!! heehee heeeeeeee

i think chilly is retarded really

Just the description of your meal made me sick!

I am just impressed that a 320 lineman could write that well. Short, but very well written.

Straight-Pipe, my brother played defensive line for the BYU Cougars national championship team in the eighties. I hung out a bit with him and his buddies. The linemen are generally quite a bit smarter than the backs. They were getting degrees in medicine. angineering, and law. While the face-men (receivers, D-backs, etc.) were scoring humanities and phys-ed degrees, and that only IF they graduated.

The were better spellers than I, as well.

I am sorry but it is funny