Did you just say "Doodie"?

Not very funny. Not very exciting. Nicely written, easy read, but no substance...

First post, does in point of fact... RULE.

Haven't posted in a while, THS. I would agree with your comment. Not very funny with no climax. It was well written but that's it.

Busy, busy, busy... That's why I haven't posted in a while. But you guys have had some good stories out here lately. This isn't one of them. Hey, they can't all be winners.

We Poop Report readers have been spoiled with some epic tales this week. Although this one will not reach that rank, it is still a good story. A kid and his will against nature is a literary conflict, and we should accept this story as such.

I went to camp for a week in 6th grade and I never shit at the campsite the whole week.

I still remember sitting on my home toilet the day on got home from camp and how great it felt to unload a week's worth of doodie that I was holding.

I envy your shamelessness.

I too envy your shamelessness. If I had to drop a duece in an open door latrine.... There would be no way. That's why I never joined the marines. I would have died of toxic shock from not dumping.

But finish the story. Did you earn the pooper's merit badge?

He did say doodie, and that's what we call it with my 2 year old, too. (Potty Training: fodder for so many stories...)

A peaceful poop at camp is its own reward; no merit badge needed, though I did bring home a nifty camp seat I made in a class there.

Am glad that you all appreciate the quality of my writing: I don't get much opportunity to practice writing for fun anymore. Sorry that "brain over bowels" is the only drama here, but at least brain won. I suppose it would've been funnier if brain lost...

Sounds like a perfect place to plant a shit bomb.

Steve, I liked your story. Short, sweet, and right to the point. Also, I think funny is in the mind of the reader. I imagined what you wrote, and it was funny to me.

Kick ass, you little shameless guy.

OH. MY. GOD.
that story reminds me of a story of major Turd Terrorism that my friend told me:
Last summer she went to day camp (we're 13) She went in one of the bathrooms and there was crap and pee all over the floor. IN THE FRICKIN GIRLS ROOM EVEN!!!!!
I thought everyone might like this story.

boring, uneventful, almost like daphne's usual "stories" - the only thing it needs to be exactly like daphne's is some completely unrelated touchy feely crap (hi, daphne)

This story stunk worse than my butthole.

Shit reaper, do I have to smack you with my sensitivity training book? Hahaha.

Hiya yourself. What's up?

lol, daphne i'm just talking smack as usual

Sharing an out-house with an adult? My goodness- did it say NAMBLA on the side? Gosh, I hope I don't have nightmares tonight.

That story was well written but it still stunk.

"...but any thoughts of defecation were defecated." That's not a pun, it's a metaphor. And a clumsy one.

Steve, keep submitting stories. I can't complain too much. My Poop Report stories never make it onto the web site.

I can't see why so many people took exception to Steve's description. I could identify with a lot of what he wrote. 'The Big Wiper' wrote a good description on his forum 'Clothes Encounters Of The Turd Kind'.

doodie

this story was very boring. in fact, it sucked. where is the passion? where is the excitement?

Pwah.

Well written, but kinda like a Hitchcock film - lots of hype but a disappointing ending.

Booorrringgg!!!!

KIDS DO THE DARNDEST THINGS:
I am a proud mother of a 4 year old son. i find my self amazed every time he calls ,e to wipe his butt. This child of mine i kid you not drops the smelleist, not to mention largest turds of my family. Dont get me wrong there have been many times that i have had a turd i didnt think could even be flushed. BUT this kid can shat with the best of them. I can not get past the fact that he and his bum are so small, yet them turds are gigantic! Now how is that possable???? i think he just has the skills to be one of the BEST.
I hope many more parents are blessed with a child that has the knack to crap with such awe.!!!!
THANK YOU!

Best use of the term "biofeedback" i have ever heard.

what you call "biofeedback", my friends and i call the "Retard Lane"...like in a parking garage, when you forget to pay your ticket before you exit and you have to use the little turn-around lane and go back in the garage to pay and try again. applies to shitting, too...when you will yourself not to shit for long enough, it justs disappears for a while...it had to take the retard lane. (no offense to the mentally challenged meant.)

I have just read Ever-So-Proud’s contribution on 19th November, and it reminded me of my early days. She is right to be proud of what her young son has produced, and I hope he is as well. She has probably given him a healthy eating programme. But it might be a good idea to get the males in her family to get involved as well.

What it reminds me of in my early days is that as a boy I did NOT like the women in our family to take me to the toilet. My grandma and my spinster aunt on my mother’s side used to love taking me, especially wiping my bottom. I hated it, and sometimes resisted, only to be given a stinging slap by my grandma on the part of my anatomy which refused to perform. She was bigger and stronger than I was, and as the slaps got harder and increased in number, I realised that I couldn’t win.

Both my grandma and aunt were killed in a car accident when I was four and a half, and I started taking myself. My mother in her grief was soon pregnant again, and seemed quite happy for me to take my brother to the toilet when I was about 7 and he was 2. I developed the idea that males should take small boys to the toilet, and females small girls.

I think it’s better for males to teach boys. My father never took part in that activity, and as the only other people I saw sitting on the toilet were women - I only saw my father peeing occasionally - I think I probably had the idea that when I was older I wouldn’t have to sit on the toilet, or that my anatomy was unique for a male!

After that family tragedy, my parents packed me off to play-school. There I learned, mixing with other children for the first time, that other boys DID sit!

It was very bad psychology the way I was treated, but my brother says he is glad the way I trained him. It wasn’t by telling him what to do, but by letting him see me do it.

My own young sons have learnt in the same way from me, and the older one started to take his share in the training - and wiping - of the younger one.

An important thing is to learn that it is enjoyable to go to the toilet.

Over the post-Christmas period, my two young sons have been enjoying their little boy cousin staying with them (aged just 3) and have got involved in looking after him, bathing and toileting him.

It makes quite an interesting story to share with others.

THis isn't shit related, but did we go to school together at NHS? Jeannie Provencher would be proud of you getting published, I guess. I wonder if she would have made you read this in front of the class.

I`m a Boy Scout Leader

YHAT`S NOT I REPEAT NOT FUNNY

Not a bad first post. Though it could use a bit more, it is straight and to the point. I also think that it is a very well written story.
_______
Born to clog your bog, with a giant log.