Maybe Doniker is actually Mac, trying to cover for his unspeakable fecal act? :)

Ha ha! That's a good one Lady Ballbuster.
Giant Turd, that's sick! I thought using a dry toilet was bad. Who in their right mind would use the closet floor?!? Anyway, I used to live in a small town in Florida full of retirees. There was this one old lady who didn't want to flush her cat's shit when she cleaned the box, so she just scooped it into the closet. When the lady died and her family came to clean out the house they discovered a waist-deep pile of dried-up cat shit in the bedroom closet.

I worked as a Safety Director for a demolition and constuction firm for 8 years. For some reason a "dry" toilet always attracts unwanted contact. Most workers use the "plastic palaces" to do their business. But a choice few, pick the new fixtures. Demolition projects were the worst. Dry toilets and sometimes bathtubs were used a defecation dispositories.

You're such a bitter know-it-all Doniker. I think the guy that sits around waiting for fiction poop stories to be submitted is the one with no life. Lighten up.

I just tell it like I see it baby.

nothing more.

doniker, shut the fuck up. If your gonna bitch about a site, dont visit it. Its like goin to see a movie 5 times and sayin it sucked, it makes no sense.

"Apparently, this is fairly common standard operating procedure amongst construction workers"

bull fuckin shit

I have worked construction, know construction workers, and have had work done in my home.

The standard practice is to go to the local gas station or Mcdonalds to take care of business.

This story is fiction, written by an adult man with no life.

funny story. =-D
a girl i used to work with said that one time she was at her boyfriend's house while he was at work and she had to shit, but the water had been shut off. he didn't pay the bill or something. anyway she put the toilet lid down, put a paper plate on the lid, squatted and shit on the plate. then she took the plate outside to the burn barrel and set it on fire to hide the evidence (exhibit a!). what happens to a turd when it's on top of a burning paper plate? does it melt? does it burn? i wondered but never asked her. i kinda want to try it just so i can see what happens.

Apparently, this is fairly common standard operating procedure amongst construction workers. My old roommate experienced this same thing (although the object of contention was delivered on the bare floor in a closet) while working a part-time summer job in high school.

Isn't this, like, the fiftieth straight story that you've claimed is fake, doniker? Talk about gasping for attention!

no. I have maybe called a dozen stories fake in the last year.
You must have me confused with somebody else.

TSV--I'll never forget that smell as long as I live. Like the worst two-day old roadkill ever shovelled off the highway. You forget how much water cuts the odor of poop. A dry-gulch dump is pretty bad stuff.

Ah... I recall the times I first shat in a brand-new shitter with such fondness...I remember being giddy with anticipation while assembling my new porcelain god on the bathroom floor, knowing she would be accepting no turds but mine....
Also, the guy must have froze his ass off if this was up north. I imagine the toilet didn't even have a seat yet. Maybe he was thanking your father for his Christmas bonus in kind.

Ah, yes. The feeling of breaking in a new toilet. I broke in both toilets at my parents' new house.
Anyway, dude that's nasty!!!! Skid Marky Mark said it best. What a nasty, inconsiderate moron! That must have been quite a smell.

This is pure fiction. This writer is gasping for attention.

I won't even waste my time continuing this comment.

Merry Christmas

shut up doniker

I, unfortunatly, have not broken in a toilet. Everwhere my family has lived has been lived in before. It sucks, but I cannot wait until I have my 'first time' :D :P

You always remember your first time! LOL!

I enjoyed this story very much. Sometimes it's nice to hear one about OPP (Other People's Poop). What the heck was that guy thinking? Next time I see a mysterious dump I shall yell 'Exhibit A'!

Dude that's nasty! What an awful thing to do! I mean there's no feeling like breaking in a virgin toilet. It's your right as a new homeowner. Christ, you spend $300k on a new home, you ought to at least get to break in the potty yourself. You should have sued Mac for pain and suffering.

I can tell you that my mother, in particular, was furious because that was going to be her bathroom. As I wrote, I believe my father got after Mac pretty good later that day. I remember wondering why Mac just didn't squat somewhere out in the yard well away from the house--we had an acre and a half out in the country. That would clearly have been the biodegradable choice. (But my brother and I did get to break in the toilet in our new bathroom! Hurray!)

I wasn't as much of a fecal freak when we first moved into this brand new house after the building was complete. It didn't occur to me that our toilets were virginal and that we were the first to use them. Poop Report sure opens a person's eyes to the important things in life, doesn't it?

No, never been in jail.

no I'm not a chick.

Men can be bitches too....I guess you have never been in jail.

I'm not a bastard, I'm a fucking bitch.

Get it straight junior.

What, if someone doesn't kiss the author's ass or make a nicey nice comment they are wrong or an evil bastard?

Sorry but the world is not a happy place.

Merry Christmas

You're a chick Doniker? What does Doniker mean anyway?

I used to like Doniker and wondered why everyone hated the bastard. Now I know.

***** our of ***** GREAT !!!!!!!

does anyone know how to fix a washing machine?

You know what that shit reminds me of? It is like when people pinch one off in one of the store display models..

A la our friends at Jackass: The Movie. LOL! Happy New Year, SJJ and all out there in Poop Land!

The Big Wiper -- 12.31.2003
A la our friends at Jackass: The Movie.

Friends? Wow I didn't know you or anyone here from PoopReport even knew this guys!!

We had a similar experience when my parents were building their new house; I'd like to write it up. Thanks for reminding me of it TBW! Great story, btw.

This reminds me of back in the 80's I was showing condos on a fashionable part of town. I kind of sat at the door and escorted people in. A middle Eastern guy worked there too and he started telling me about how the construction workers didn't have toilet facilities. Instead of holding their shit all day they started using the large paint/plaster drums. I laughed like hell but the guy didn't think it was funny at all, "especially for the person who found it". I mean, c'mon!!

Actually, if you're in the US, the LAST thing you want to do today is break in a virgin toilet. Since all new toilets made since 1994 or so are required by federal law to be the worthless, low flush "water conserving" types, you'll be cleaning up toilet water from the floor as it overflows out of that piece of junk like a fucking fountain. If you are moving from a house with the older toilets that are not the low flush type into a house with the new low flush toilets, take your old toilets with you! Seriously!

Amen, Dr. Pooper! Whoever invented these low flow pieces of shit should be disembowled!

All's I gots to say is that this spurious story of that little shit-ass Wiper kid has haunted me for years down here in my entire construction career in Mississippi. It ain't true ... not one damned word of it. I don't care if his daddy was a lawyer, he fingered the wrong asshole in this case. Fact is, I took my momma out to the new house 'cause she wanted to see the finished work before that snooty lawyer's famaily moved in, and Momma had to take a dump. Now when my momma has to dump she has to dump, folks. As far as the newspaper goes, she wiped her fanny with it because it had no further use anyway, having been used previously to wrap fish. That's how come it stunk so bad in there was because of the fish, not my Momma's poop.

That's right, Mac, blame it on yo' Momma! LMAO!

At least you didn't puke in the toilet, Mac.

Great story TBW.

There is nothing worse than a dry docked turd. Why didn't Mac just go somewhere where there was a working toilet.
_______
"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

Mac probably expected he would have the opportunity to return and remove the load befor the new residents could find it.

Lol, "dry docking" at its best!!