I guess you had to lie to make it worth their while. I would hate my kid if he made me race to a mcdonalds to unload a nothing load.

All that hell to go through just for a little Halloween ass candy! Ironic and disappointing, I'm sure, but still funny. I especially liked the comparisons to Snickers and Jolly Rancher--treats that turned into tricks, in this case. Good job, KP!

First a repeat, now this story. Disappointed.

hey mad shittah, start your own poop site.

Good point. Sorry Dave!

hey dave, why dont you pull your dick outta donikers peanut brittle hole for two goddamn seconds, and think of something more clever!!!

'Halloween ass candy' I love it.

There's a term called 'ghost poopie' --Your ass labors and labors, you feel as though you've really produced a great shit--and nothing.

isn't it depressing when you work so hard to take a shit sometimes?, all the struggle, the pain, like you are going to unload a ton, and then the only thing you see is a couple of brown balls?.

Makes me so mad!

This could have been what I call a "shoot up". What happens is that you do a big solid jobbie but it comes out quite fast and depending on the type of toilet pan and the angle at which you are sitting it shoots up round the hidden bend out of sight. This can also be the reason for no loud "Ker-sploonk!" sound. You may then pass a smaller turd which is visible when you look down the pan.

This has happened to me and at first I thought that I had only done a little pointed jobbie of about 3 inches long as that was all I could see lying in the bottom of the pan although I hadnt had a motion(BM) for the previous 2 days and it had sure felt like a lovely big log on its way out. Very disappointed I pulled flush but when I looked again I saw that not only had the jobbie stayed put, but it seemed to have grown slightly longer. Then it dawned on me that it wasn't just a wee hard lump but the pointed end of a a really big turd. I found an old ballpoint pen and stuck it into the end of the poo and slowly pulled it down back into view. Sure enough it was a big fat jobbie of about 14 inches long and my disappointment turned to joy when I saw what I had produced. Needless to say I threw the pen in the bin!

Following on from this what is the biggest single solid formed turd, jobbie, poo, you have done and you have seen?

In my case I did a single jobbie which was 16 inches long and 2 1/2 inches thick with a tapered pointed end one time I hadnt had a motion for 3 days. The biggest turd I have seen was 20 inches long and 3 inches fat at its widest and was done by a fat woman who used to visit my mother when I was a kid. It was so dark brown as to be nearly black and was knobbly and compacted and had a pointed end, half of it was sticking up out of the water in the toilet pan. I listened as she did it and from the NN! and UH! sounds it sure took some effort to pass . I bet her ring throbbed afterwards!

i pooped abig block once that was 4 inches across and like 4 inches long it was huge and it hurt

Anyone want to talk about poop ?

I hate it when I push and push and nothing comes out. That happened to me on a road trip once. At a McDonald's no less. Then there was the time I had the flu and I was constipated. It turned out to be a massive butt plug for a Tambora-like explosion that filled the entire bowl with apple sauce!

The greatest poop I ever did in my life was at least a foot long and shaped like the letter S. I took a picture of it, which is immortalized at my website, www.freewebs.com/welcometolemora/. Three days after I did my crap shaped like the Superman logo, it was announced actor Christopher Reeve died. I think my ass can predict the future.

I had the phantom poop happen to me at my sister's house. My husband and I decided to drive across the country to see her and my buttcheeks did a clamp up routine. All I ever got out were little nuggets at the campgrounds we stayed at. Then when I got to my sister's I let out a rather large one (or so I thought) on her back toilet. When I looked in the bowl there was nothing there. Creepy!

It sound like that turds bark was bigger than its bite. What a dissapointment, expecting to see the loch ness monster staring up at you from the bowl, and instead seeing a dinky doo.
_______
Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

You should have picked it up and determined how much it weighed. It could have been an eight-pounder that, through your tight-assedness, was compressed to the density of depleted uranium.

This is a golden oldie.....Dave, Could you tell us reprint the first story to grace PR?
Producing waste since 1967

I found it!!!!
Producing waste since 1967

C'mon, Simone - don't keep it to yourself, my sweet. Details...details...please. I've been around PR since I dunno - late '03, early '04(?) The longer I hang out here, the more interested I am in the history.
Dave: how 'bout a "special" Main page, sometime: a full repost of THE first PR homepage? I think I can speak for others here: we'd love to see it.

I see you found it FP.
Producing waste since 1967

How about the "Houdini Poop"?

You feel the poop. You smell the poop. You hear the poop.

But when you wipe, there's NOTHING on the paper OR in the bowl.

You put the lid down and flush.
Then the next person finds a floater.

TA-DA!!!

_______
You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

If you click on the "stories about poop" link and go to the last page of the index, you'll find the first story posted. Not much to write home about, as you'll see.

But for a real blast from the past, here is what PR looked like for the first few months while I solicited content and worked on a permanent look and feel. Prepare yourself, it's pretty ugly: http://www.poopreport.com/Original/

Robo: I've also seen the "Houdini Poop" referred to as the "Ghost Shit". There was something circulating on the 'net a few years back defining different kinds of poops and restroom techniques - I wish I could find it.
One technique that sticks in my mind is called the "Astaire"
That's when a stall sitter taps his feet loudly, either to inform others that the stall is occupied, or to provide aural "coverage" for his/her plop and fart noises.
It was a really funny, one page list - I remember laughing out loud as I read it.

The Ghost had no floater, hence the term 'Houdini', the escape artist.
If there's a lot of wind involved, you could call it the 'David Copperfield'!

_______
You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

I find that large amounts of opiates make for incredibly large, dense, and girthy dumps and the no wipe effect... not a speck of brown on the TP , just a bit of sweat off the old bunghole

This phenomenon reminds me of a piece of ancient doggerel:

Here I sit all broken hearted,
Paid to shit and only farted.

I'm not claiming these as my own. They are just the product of a random synaptic firing brought on by the story.