Fond Poop Memories of Childhood

// // 235 Comments
l 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
0
0

I remember it like it was yesterday. The 80's. I was a kid at Pine Crest
Day Camp in South Florida. In the event you don't live here, I'll explain.

See,
South East Florida is rich, REALLY rich! These yuppies need some place to send
their kids to school, so -- for the small fee of $30,000 a semester -- you can send
your kids to Pine Crest, with an olympic-size swimming pool, a lake, two cafeterias,
multiple athletic fields, a marina, 10 or more snack bars, a multiple computer
labs with game systems, two stadium seating movie theatres, a couple fountains, a waterpark
with 6 water slides, a bike track and amusement rides, and 3 playgrounds.

Well, anyway, I had a friend who, one day, decided he wanted to go for a walk. We
went over to a water slide under construction, and to a peice of track on it's
side. He then proceeded to pull down his pants, and poop on it.

Ok, job done
right? No. He ran and got a counselor, and took him to the spot! He said, "look, I
think a big dog pooped!" and walked away, never wiping.

Some time in another year, I was
holding in a big one in art class (in camp, which was cheaper then school, I never
went to school there) and the pressure got too much, RIGHT IN CLASS!!! Diarrhea!
The teacher yelled, "OH MY GOD!!! WHAT IS THAT SMELL???" The area was evacuated.

-- Trashcanman

235 Comments on "Fond Poop Memories of Childhood"

Anonymous's picture

No, It was in the kid's underwear next to him.

Anonymous's picture

Eww! So you had a giant lump in your underwear.

Anonymous's picture

I once peed myself in class sometimes I pooped!! but ONLY because the teacher would not let me go to the toilet, and even though I blame the teacher, mum always spanked me, when I knew if teacher had said yes I would have gone home in dry underwear! still on recent websites i have found out there are still teachers out there who still willnot let the children go to the toilet, its them that need to learn a few lessons not us!! if I have any children I will do my best to teach them at home or sit in class with my child throughout there schooling!! this type of thing leaves mental scars with you the rest of your life.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

@ Taps and any others who want to contribute to poop report;

Dave, The founder and head poop guru of this beloved site posted this on his Myspace account;

"PoopReport is a site for sharing funny stories about the funny things that happen to us in the bathroom. You know you have a story -- why not submit it at PoopReport.com today? Read a few stories before you do, though -- we prize good writing above all else. If you write like, well, like a 12-year-old on Myspace, don't bother. We're quite literary. Seriously."

Anyone can misspell and make an occasional typo but please, do your best.


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How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Curious Person's picture

Hannah, do you have a Poop Report account? (Please post this)

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

One of the most important things I taught my writing students was to aim their writings at the audience that would read or hear them. If you write for small children, use simple concepts and words, and write short sentences. For a public forum like this one, write using the style and technique you have learned in English class--i.e., the best you can do.

Memories from childhood: When I was about 8 years old, we visited relatives who lived just outside New York City. One afternoon I was outside, playing with three or four neighborhood kids about my age. We were in a wooded parklike place a block or so from my uncle's house. One of the other children said, "Oops, I gotta go!" Another replied, "Tinkie, or BOOMsalotsie?" The first said "BOOMsalotsie!" It was obvious that tinkie meant to pee, and BOOMsalotsie meant to poop. I don't even remember now whether the child went home, or elsewhere in the woods to poop; but I have never forgotten that lovely word for pooping: BOOMsalotsie!

Butt of the Joke's picture
l 100+ points

I skipped the short story that you wrote,Taps. Learn to write correctly always. It is a good habit to learn and makes you look like you deserved to skip a grade.
_______
More people flush than they do wash their hands.

More people flush than they do wash their hands.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Well, great!


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Taps's picture

@Daphne,fair enough, i will take this into consideration the next time i type something long

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Taps, what you might not understand is that when you write the way you do people may not take the time to read what you write. No one is going to wade through a huge paragraph that is made even harder to read because the normal visual markers of the beginning of a sentence -- the capital letters -- are missing. So, true, you can choose not to write correctly, but then the chances are that your comments are going to be ignored.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Taps's picture

@chiefthunderbutt, ofcourse i know how to make paragraphs and make capital letters when i start new sentences, i just choose not to cause this is just a forum not an essay....btw i wish people who laugh would actually have diarrhoea at the wrong time and experience how horrible it is

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Dear Taps, I could tell by your comment that you skipped 7th grade. That is the year when you would have been taught what paragraphs are and how to use the shift key to make capital letters.


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How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Taps's picture

i was 12 and i was in the 9th grade(skipped 7th grade) on the first day of the 9th grade. i was in math and suddenly i needed to go poop badly and there were about 30 minutes left, i was embarassed of askin to go to the toilet for some reason as the class was dead quite because our math teacher is kind of strict and i had always told myself never to use the school toilet to shit. there were about 30min left till the next class, i managed 20min of severe torture, i decide to releave some crap, it was kind of hard so it didnt smell, after 5min i had to let some go again and this time its more watery, class endend and i rushed to the toilet, shit rushed out and i took off my underware and quickly washed it with water and put it in my bag(BIG MISTAKE), i got to the next class on time, after 10 min everyone noticed the smell and everyone asked to change classes and so we did, same story next class, so the teacher asked everyone to go out and check each other in the toilets, my heart pounded and i rushed out, everyone noticed i was the culprit and laughed at me. my dad eventually took me home before school ended as as i asked the vice principle to go home. the next day no one talked to me about it and acted as if nothing happend, however 3 days later some boys i didnt like made fun of me when i sat in front of them in class and did so again about a year later. up to today a few mates of mine have brought it up at least 5 times and laughed at me hard at least thrice. the last time being last week when i had a spat with one of my mates(well not really just hang with him because my friends hang with him)and he brought it up because he had no response, 3 of the 4 people i was sitting with new about it, and they all laughed at me but they didnt go around telling people. the guy who i had a spat with threatened to tell other people and remind everyone but threatened to tell how he sweats in ass and get himself wet, my other mate is now threating to tell other people and remind everyone if i insult him, so i cant insult him while he insults me. truly worst day of my life and it took me a long time to get over it. im 15 now and in the 12th grade. sometimes i think about it and feel down, but i guess i have sort of overcome it, im no nerd at school, o have decent social status, and sometimes im proud of myself for guy who shit himself, i just cant wait to finish highschool and meet new people. sorry for the long post

Butt of the Joke's picture
l 100+ points

If you want something done right,you have to do it yourself. As far as being a moron,lily,it looks as if you have taken care of that. Go get a punching bag to let out your agression towards your sister. Speaking from experience,she probably isn't fond of her little sister much. Just something to think about.
_______
More people flush than they do wash their hands.

More people flush than they do wash their hands.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Dear lily, I seem to detect a bit of hostility in your comment. Perhaps rather than directing so much energy toward the hatred of your sister you should concentrate on improving your writing skills and spelling, they do a good enough job embarrassing you.

There are two sides to every story and I suspect you're not being entirely truthful with us. Now, go give your sister a big hug and a kiss and tell her you love her. After she is off guard you can punch her lights out!


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How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

lily collins's picture

I hate my oldest sister.......!!!!shes such an asshole...she likes to emberessed me in front of everyone....i hate her...such a MORON!!!!eventhough i told my mom and dad.....they even didn’t care....urrgghhhhhh i wish i could emberessed in front of pupil...!!!like...she broke her entire teethhhhh......in front of everyone...n thats make me feel happppyyyyy.......

Butt of the Joke's picture
l 100+ points

*cough cough*BULLSHIT!*cough*
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More people flush than they do wash their hands.

More people flush than they do wash their hands.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

AC, What a liar you are! A first grader's bladder could not possibly hold that much urine.

Your spelling, by the way, is still at the first grade level. What the fuck is a pienus? Is it some type of pie?

PS: I approved your comment just so we could all make fun of you!


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Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture

Well, I had a time that I was taking a first grade spelling test, and I felt like I needed to pee really bad. Since I was in first grade and had just learned ther process of showing my pienus and peeing, I got out of my seat, pulled my pants and underwear down, and showed my pienus. The teacher didn't notice me, until there was this weird peeing sound. She turned around and screamed,"Go to the restroom, now!" I freaked out and turned back to the teacher, causing my fat pienus to jiggle at her. Then, I started peeing at the teacher! And this is the embarrassing part: I had a lot of pee in m bladder, that I stood 30 minutes with my pienus relieving itself! After that was done, I felt a loud fart coming on, so I let it out. Too bad I had diarreah! By the time my teacher came running with a diaper, I had let out my watery poop onto the classroom floor.
The teacher, shocked at my sudden accident, wiped my pienus and butthole off, then put a diaper on me.
Three hours later, I felt the urge to poop. A LOT. And I pooped inside my new diaper, but I stored too much! My diaper dropped, causing a smelly mess. And just with any time I poop, I peed gallons of pee on the floor, again.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I'm not sure I believe this one; it is way too much like the stories my 9th and 10th graders wrote for the creative writing portion of English.

Massey's picture

Besides when I was a baby, I have never really pooped my pants. But instead I have a story about someone who did... I was in 5th grade and me and my friends all had Airsoft guns. We would periodically have wars with our Airsoft guns in a field surrounded by a huge forest. And in the very middle of the field was a clump of trees. It was good for wars and we always had a blast. One day we started an Airsoft war and I had been called a sniper (I snipe for my team). My friend Derek let me borrow his ghillie suit (I have no idea were he got it. By the time we had picked teams and had gotten everyone to there places it was about 7:50 and was starting to get dark. I was lying prone on the ground with a Airsoft sniper rifle I had. I heard the first gun shot go off and I knew the game had begun. I scanned the field and the forest around it. About 20 mins past and I was able to get some shots off at about 5 people who were running through the opposite side of the field. Then, I heard some voices. I froze. I knew that seeing how dark it was and my ghillie suit being on. It would be hard to see me. I then realized the people who were talking were 2 girls, probably 8 or 9, coming towards me. As they came closer their voices became more audible and I could sort of make out what they were saying. "Yes.... I..... did you ..... that...." As they got closer I started the hear them better and better until I could almost make out ever word they said. Then, they ran forward right at me. I knew they had seen me.... But wait. They sat down on the log 3 feet next to me. Even though they were looking right at me, they couldn't see me. They started talking. "We can rest here" said girl 1 "Yah... We should get going home *pant*" said girl 2 "Plus I have to go to the bathroom reeaaallllyy bad" She added. "Just hold on, we need to find Tom" said girl 1. I had no idea who Tom was. "Do you see him " said girl 1. Girl 2 starts fidgeting and shifting around on the log". "I really have to go!" Said girl 2. Then I see out of the corner of my eye, the entire enemy team in a little depression about 100 feet away from me. I needed to warn my team, and try to pick some of them off. But I knew I couldn't do that with these girls right next to me. The girl kept talking about finding Tom and then switched to something about school. All the wile the enemy team was getting closer and closer. I knew I had to act soon or I'd be dead along with our team and our flag. Then I thought about the girls sitting 3 feet next to me, they blocked my shot. They I had an idea. I then thought to myself "Ahh, what the hell". I stood up as fast as I could and used One of the girls shoulder to perch my gun on as she was falling don screaming. I got off a shot and then took out my SMG that I had on my back. Seeing as the ground just turned into a monster right in front of them and then used them as a stand to shot a sniper rifle off of, the girls were super scared. And I mean super scared. And on top of that, the entire other team was exchanging gunfire over there heads. I dive behind a tree. I take a few shots with my SMG and dive back again. I managed to take a sniff of the air, and UGHH. It smelled repulsive! It made me want to gag and throw up. But I knew I had to hold off the enemy until backup arrived. Then, my prayers were answered. My team came barreling through the woods BEHIND the other team flanking them and running them back into the woods. The entire fight lasted about 15 seconds. I stood up. I had no idea what to do, I was stuck in the middle of the forest with 2 girls, one who had obviously craped her pants. Then, one of the girls stood up. She stumbled and tripped. I realized she must have been shot. I helped her up and sat her against a tree. She was obviously strong, mentally. I told her to stay sitting down against the tree. I went to check how her friend was doing. She was more beat up then her friend over at the tree, plus there was poop oozing out the bottom of her pant leg, and a giant brown stain on the back of her pants. As much as my nose said I shouldn't I helped her up. She was crying, I put her down next to her friend. Her friend stroked her head to try to calm her down. They had welts on their backs so I called Ben (Who was head of my team) that we had injured and that he should get his brother to come down with his ATV. Ben phoned his brother (Who was like the medic, in case anyone got hurt) to come down to my position to pick up the girls. After about a min of waiting, Ben's brother came on the ATV. He picked up the girls. I then ran off to find the rest of my team. He eventually won the battle. I think the girls never went down there again in fear of getting shot and craping their pants. He continued the wars, just being more careful around little girls.

Poopy at kings island's picture

One time I was at kings island and I was 9 and we went with my uncle and his son (my cousin) and my brother and mom.. So anyways we just got on top gun and I really had to pee that ride was sooo bumpy I was about to die after I got off I ran straight to the bathroom and about half way there I completely shit my pants I wassss sooo embarrassed ! My mom caught up with me and I told her I pooped my pants and I cried so we both went into a stall and she cleaned me up and when we came out my uncle asked what happened and we told him I fell and he believed it, lol, so now I always go to the bathroom before going on a bumpy ride ...

Anonymous Coward's picture

i'm sitting at the computer right now, with a huge dump in my pants. man does it feel good! so warm.... and soft

0_0's picture

i shat myself once sleeping when i was about 6, . i don't remember much but i was so ashamed.i was really sick at that time and i wasn't my usual self. i was shaking and sweaty, couldn't eat anything. ended up in hospital for a couple of weeks but i got better.

bunnybaybiii's picture

well once i was in school-i was about 12 at the time. i had a real bad tummy ache and needed a poop!!!i asked the teacher but she didnt let me and i ended up doin this real loud fart.and what came wiv the fart was this sloppy fart that stunk the place like BAD poop!!!the teacher was like *hey er...you can go to the toilet now*

this other story aint about pooping...
well i was doing my test and wasnt allowed to go toilet but i really needed a piss!!!i hardly did any of my test and scored bad grades but i did piss my pants in the middle of it and the kid next to me looked at me because i was pulling a weird face like i was suffocating!!!looking back at it makes me laugh but trust me it wasnt funny at the time...♥

Anonymous Coward's picture

When I was in 2nd grade there was a group of boys who always used to annoy a group of girls (including myself). One day (I have no idea why the heck they did this) during snack break they said "This is what I think about you" and one of the boys farted in our faces (That's what I had to deal with in 2nd grade -_-). Me, not wanting to give up a fight, and having to fart myself, said "Oh well!" Reared my rear end high in the air right in the boys faces and I farted... Sorta... Hot mushy poop ploped into my pants. Followed by more, and more, and more of this horrible mushy poop. Everyone started to run away from me holding there noses. Poop was dripping down my leg and there was a giant brown spot on the back of my jeans. I started crying and was quickly escorted to the nurse and "airlifted" back home by my mom.

Anonymous Coward's picture

After I was born, my parents counted all my appendages (my dad was born with 6 fingers), then they realized I had no asshole, so I had surgery shortly after.

When I was around five, I had surgery to have a pump put in my scrotum. I am the only one I know who has to squeeze something in my scrotum to take a piss.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I don't know what the protocol is now, but I'm fairly certain that, many years ago, one of the first thing a doctor would do was check newborns for imperforate anus. If found, surgery had to be done pretty much immediately.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Would you stop talking about enemas. I have to have an enema every other day becasue I was born with a rare deformity, Imperforate Anus. Not only that, I had surgery a long time ago, and now there is a hole in me, that I stick a cathater in. I also have a hole that leads to my bladder, where I put a cathater in. Lastly, I have a scar in my lower regions where doctors cut so I could crap

I've survived 13 years of this crap, and I'm so sick of it. I also have to take a boat-load of antibiotics.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

If you read the fine print of PoopReport, you'll find that this is not a site for poop or urine fetishers, nor are the subjects discussed here unless on a medical basis.

There are countless scat and klitshmania sites on the internet, so that topic has been covered very well. We don't mind adult babies, or any other type of fetisher to post here, ever; we only ask that they respect the rules of PoopReport.com.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Anonymous Coward the II's picture

in all these comments on this post im suprised it hasent been mentioned once about children like myself who used to poop and pee our pants on purpose in school or were ever we were because we like it. Most of us are now Infantalists, we either fall in the catigory of Adult Baby (like myself) or Diaper Lover. But you can not ignore the Teen Babys, they may be the most in need of support, they are vulnrable, and require support and understanding. So why are there no storys relating to purpusfull wetting or messing ? because a good portion of stories relating to the children in those stories will grow in to teen babies. From there they decide how infantilism is part of there life.

DannaandJason's picture

My story is quite embarassing...
It was in summer and I was in grade 7. I didnt live that far away from my school, but it was still a 25 min walk. For a while I had been walkng home with this really cute guy I liked, and I was thinking of asking him out. About 1/4 of the way home, I reilized I really had to pee. not only that, but I really had to fart. I kept walking beside him like nothing was wrong, but when we got closer to our houses, I started to lose control. I felt my bladder push my pee out, but i was quick and caught it. But with the focus completely on my pee, my boules started to give. I felt a peice of shit start to run into my panties, and started to freak out a bit. Jason looked at me and asked me if i was alright. I told him i was fine and we kept walking. I felt the peice of shit in my panties, mostly because it was getting pushed against my ass by my skinny jeans. Me and Jason got closer to home, but i still really need to go. Every step was torture, and after a bit, it all came out. everything my piss and my giant load. Jason looked at me in shock, and laughed. he walked me home and told me to get cleaned up. i found out later that he was turnedd on by this, and we've been dating since.

Pooping hobbiest's picture

Cate I'm have the perfect method. When you got to shower do what you want and then dump the crap in the toilet and if it leaves skid marks wash them out them ring out the underwear and put it in the dirty laundry with the rest of your clothes. I've been doing it for a year and my parents haven't caught me yet!

poop partay's picture

well my first memory of poop is when i was 5 im 13 now but when i was 5 i was obsesed with a pair of blue pajama shoets and a green t-shirt and i wore them every where not joking i used to where them even when thay were still wet from the wash anyway yours truely was in his favourite outfit getting ready for first day of nursery i was very nervus and i had eaten some of my moms ''special'' pancakes for break fast big mistake well there i was at school doing some finger paints when all of a sudden i get an urge to fart and being 5 an all a wet fart was enebitable the poop went every where on the chair on my underwear and on my blue pajama shorts a teacher came over and said i think you have had a bit of an accident i bursted into tears the teacher got me washed up and gave me a spare pair of trousers and a fresh t-shirt my mom arived at the school to picked me up i got in the car she said i heard you had a bit of an accident at school to day i got so scared that i wet my trousers too theschool wasnt happy about that lol well hope you enjoyed my story i have many mor to come.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

IF you're a 13 year old girl now, what were you before? A 175 year old tortoise? The rest of your post is just too damn stupid to answer, sorry, maybe you should stick to algebra.


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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Cate's picture

im a 13 year old girl now, and i need help. i looooooooooooooooove to poop, but i dont know how to do it without my parents knowing????????? how?

runninggrrl2's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

I never crapped myself at school (or wet myself, for that matter), but my biggest childhood pooping memory is when my mom discovered the home enema kit. My kid brother (he was around age 5 or 6 at the time) had constipation issues and my mom was trying to treat it with prunes and stuff, but she thought an enema would be even better. So she bought it and gave him one. My sister and I watched him go through it and it scared us to death. After giving my brother one, my mom wanted US to get one as well because they "clean you out". Well, she snagged my sis and gave her one, but I managed to escape somehow. I think I went next door to the neighbor's house so she wouldn't find me. Anyway, once my mom realized how much of a fight it was to give her kids enemas, she stopped doing it. She ended up giving one to my dad, who actually thought it was a nice cleansing procedure, but we were all really glad to see that enema kit in the trash one day. I don't know if my brother put it in there or my mom, but I was insanely happy that I didn't have to endure that when I was a kid.

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An apple a day keeps the ExLax away!

An apple a day keeps the ExLax away!

Raggedmama's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I was given lots of suppositories and soap-sticks when I was a constipated little girl. I knew I needed them but I still hated having anything shoved up my butt.

Anonymous Coward's picture

When I was about 6 i think, I had this teacher who gave students a certain number of points each week. Each trip to the bathroom would cost so many points. I can't remember the exact amounts, but it's not important to the story.
Anyway, one day I really had to go, and even though I asked and asked, she refused to let me go. So, I ended up crapping my pants. Truth be told, i'm not entirely sure why it happened the way it did, but I ended up continuing to shit myself until I was 21. It wasn't so much that I just shit myself, as I would hold it as long as possible, until eventually it would force it's way out little by little. My parents tried countless things to get me over it, even going so far as therapy (unsuccessful I might add). I know that as I got older, it got to where I had taken to holding it for so long and for so many years, that it eventually became ungodly painful to use the bathroom like a normal person. After 15 years of this, I began to have stomach problem. I started having odd solid lumps when i'd put pressure on my stomach, they weren't painful, just uncomfortable and not pretty to look at. I began vomiting up what looked like diaharea, it was this slimy brown substance that smelled horrible.I also had the runs almost constantly. I continued on like this for a year. Thankfully, and.. as sad as it may seem, when I was 21 I went to jail for a couple of months over something dumb that I did. The people there refused to wash what few pairs of underwear I had due to my constantly soiling them, so, eventually I ran out and had no choice but to try and use the toilet. The first week that I did so, it felt like my ass was being ripped apart, and occasionally there was blood from the sheer size and hardness of what I released. After that, my entire system is normal.
I endured so much hardship over this, people shunned me, I smelled all the time. Even now I have extreme problems with people and social situations. It really fucked me up in the head. What I don't get though, is why I did it in the first place. I mean, I understand that the human mind is an odd thing, and it can be re-wired in odd ways, but to think that it was so easy to stop holding it, and yet i did it or so long.
I'm 26 now, and i've been "regular" for 5 years. Not sure why I posted that, or what I hope to accomplish by doing so.. but I can't be the only one who has done this, and for those who still do, have hope.

Mayor McTurd's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

oh, right. the fact that i type in all lowercase must mean that i'm uneducated. lol...

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

You went to school?


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Mayor McTurd's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

what the hell is up with all of you commenters shitting and pissing yourselves in school?? are you just fucking pussies? i had teachers try to tell me not to leave when i was in school too, but i'll be damned if at ANY point in my life i let somebody else dictate to me when i can and can't go to the bathroom...

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points

Just goes to show you, rich or poor, the asshole is still in charge.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

pppp.....It is good that you have found your niche in life. Some people enjoy doing weird stupid things like writing, playing a musical instrument, sports, etc., but none of this childish crap is for you. You have it under control and have already made something of yourself.


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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

profesional-public-pants-pooper's picture

one day at school we had to do oral reports and i had to poop realy bad. i was in 6th grade and we wore uniforms. they were kahki pants and a green shirt. i asked my teacher if i could go to the bathroom, but she said no because i would mis my turn. finaly she called me up. about halve way through the report i started to pee AND poop and it started to fill my briefs. nobody was paying any attention to my report but to my pants. i was wearing tight briefs and the poop soaked through my it and my kahki pants. my butt looked like brown paint on a tan background. i couldnt stop pooping for 2 minuts and by then it was running down my leg. it turns out i had bad shrimp at Red Lobster the night before. my pants started to overflow and everybody laugh. i was sent home and thought it was over but it was just the end of the begining. later that night i had to poop realy bad. i ran to the toilet,lifted up the seat, but i didnt have time to pull down my pants so i just sat down and pooped like that! fourtunatly my mom had just came back from the store and got me some diapers. later on in life (about 2 years later) i saw something about how to poop your pants in public and decided to try it. i started out pooping my pants at home then i started to jog at 5 o'clock when there was traffic and other jogers. i wore a red jacket and white sweatpants so people could see the poop. as i would run (and when i got ahead of another joger) i would let loose of my bowels. now i just poop in my pants no matter what time it is,what im doing, what im wearing, and where im at. i wear tight briefs to hold it all in. once a week (and when i feel that i have a big load) i will either wear old briefs or diapers and walk around my house or my backyard without a shirt or pants just my briefs or diapers. my mom says i can do it if i want to but my punishment is cleaning the briefs. i just clean them out then wash them. i will probobly keep them forever to use over and over again. i enjoy it!

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points

The only time I ever really crapped myself was in the usual PoopReport way of pushing out a fart that wasn't really a fart when I was about 5 years old.

What came out looked like diced peanuts swimming in chocolate syrup. This is also my first memory of anything that looked like food coming out the wrong end.

Did I mention I was in my parents' restaurant at the time, first thing in the morning, and had to holler across the dining area for help. My mother truly is an angel.

_______
How I beat IBS

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

Anonymous Coward's picture

When I was a little girl I used to get looked after by a baby sitter and I would go round to her house. I remember I used to poop myself because I did not want to use her toilet because most of the kids there were boys and I did not want them to know that I was pooping cus boys are mad about poop when they're young, so I used to just poop myself and sit in it all day long till my mum got me home and she would change my soiled pants. the baby sitter never noticed till one day one two of the boys found out that I was pooping myself and they grabed me and pulled my pants down while I was on the floor and one boy got a small stick and scraped the poop off my you know what..... then the baby sitter came out side and saw us and my pooped bum she was not happy. every day from then onwards she used to check my pants every hour to see if I had pooped.

PS: Sorry for any spelling mistakes.

Anonymous Coward's picture

well im 17 and i was sitting in the testing room and i felt cramps coming on. so as time went on i felt the urge to poop more and more and to add to the mix i had to pee really bad. the teacher wouldnt let anyone go to the restroom. so as i was sitting there pee started to come out...no one notice so i just decided to go in my undies but i got to comfortable and poop started coming out, everyone noticed me going out of the room with a buldge of poop in my jeans and being wet from the pee. so i went to the restroom to poop again, cleaned up, went home. but ive got to admit, the poop and pee felt good in my tight jeans and it was kinda sexy

Tracee's picture

Oh my gosh, I forgot all about my posting from November of '05! I am now in college, and that seems like a long time ago. Not sure I can even remember everything, from that trip, but a couple people want to know what happened, so here goes.

I wore diapers the whole weekend, for the trip and the reunion. I know I wet both on the way there and the way back, at least once each way. My oldest little brother (who was maybe 12 at the time?) wet his pants on the way there as well, as he was running for the toilet at the gas station. That made me feel a lot better, as I had to change my diaper at that same station. And my really little brother peed his pants at the reunion a couple of times, he was like 5 or 6 at the time. As I said, I was in diapers at the reunion, but I used the toilet every time at the reunion. When we got back home, I was allowed back into my underwear, since I'd only had accidents just in the car trip portion of the weekend, which was really a victory at that point LOL!

My bladder control got much better in the next 6 or 12 months after that, after I really started going through puberty (I was quite a late developer). I can't say I'm perfect, I do still wet my pants sometimes, but it's more like once, maybe twice a month now. Until puberty, I was practically wetting my pants every other day. My last accident was 3 or 4 weeks ago when I was home from college on a Sunday doing my laundry and having dinner with my mom and brothers. We were playing Rock Band and I had been holding my pee for a while and was becoming quite desperate and my really little brother Spencer who is 9 was singing and started squealing. It was so cute and funny and I started laughing and ended up completely emptying my bladder where I sat on the carpet. This was my most embarrassing accident in a while, and my mom was none too pleased with me. Before dinner, Tyler (13) and Spencer both ended up peeing their pants too, so I didn't feel too bad. Tyler has apparently started having TONS of accidents - in school, playing at home, at the store, wetting the bed, etc., so he has actually been wearing some pull ups in the last couple of months. Mom thinks it's puberty related again; all I can say is, poor kid, I know what he's going through. I really wish my mom had gotten me pull ups for that year before puberty kicked in. It would have saved me a LOT of embarrassment.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Congratulations on your achievement, AC, your parents must be proud. Now that you are in 5th grade, maybe you can really impress people and shit in a toilet like a real human being, and maybe learn how to use those squiggly lines (called letters) more appropriately, and write in complete sentences, with punctuation, and capital letters and everything! Won't that be fun???

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

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