Similar memories for me of those days (sigh), but not involving my own output. More along the lines of coming to on a friend's lawn, face buried in the pre-dawn, dew soaked grass. Guess I thought that was a good time, back then.

Ah, youth!

First Post Rules!!!

first post sucks

Good metaphor use. Well told.

I hate to sound like an ungrateful cock, but I would've liked this story even more if you actually REMEMBERED shitting next to your bed. You must've been in a desperate situation to just give up on the toilet and shit next to your bed. Shit like that doesn't just come out of your ass and roll off the sheets, you know. Good tale, still. Just wish you could flashback more of the event.

Third post came after the second one.

Damnit!

Dave, here is a poop story you might have missed
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=817&
ncid=757&e=10&u=/ap/20040809/ap_on_fe_st/boat_waste

My mother and father would have just flipped. Your mom must be ultra-cool, Fartist. I'm trying to think of what the aftermath would be if I did this, and I can't even imagine.

I remember those party days, too, fudgepump. My husband used to have huge parties, and he and his friends would make grain alcohol fruit punch. It never failed that the next morning there would be chunks of half-digested fruit all over their front lawn. And, his parents didn't seem to mind either.

I must have gotten the uppity parents.

After reading about the alcohol and the Taco Bell, I was expecting that the bed would have liquid shit soaked in, down to the core.

Ah well, you still have good storytelling skills.

That Damn Tooth Fairy!

hehehe, Deuce, good one.

You know, Slim Jim, this means he must have blacked out, because he would have had to have gotten out of bed, squatted, shat, and then pulled his johns back up, gotten back into bed, and possibly pulled the covers back up.

That's nuts.

Daphne,

Actually, if he was like me he would be sleeping naked. So if my ass was hanging over the side of the bed, ploop! Right on the floor.

I'm pretty surprised though that you couldn't smell it when you woke up, or even during the night. Even in a binge induced blacked out state, I think I would have smelled something afoot.

Ooo, that's not a good choice of wordage! Afoot. He's lucky it wasn't afoot or on the foot or between his toes on his foot.

But, I didn't think about sleeping nakey. And, I'm trying to imagine someone just hanging their bum over the side of the bed, sloppy-trashed, without actually falling backwards off the bed and onto the floor, landing right smack on top of the mess.

Reading this story makes me glad I was a dud as a teenager.

I was tempted to say don't sweat the dud-ness, TSV - you didn't miss much. Then it hit me: hell, I was THERE and I missed damn near HALF of it!

Wow... I'm glad I'm not into drugs and alcohol... even though there must be something attractive about it, I would never want to be in such a mental state as to not remember crapping on the floor of my room... not to mention the reaction my parents would have :(
Awesome story!

This is your poop... This is your poop on drugs...
Any questions?

Doniker, this is my turd post genius! Anyway...
I wish I could remember actually laying the cable, but alass, I can't. To say otherwise would be unpoo. You know, I am surprised my Mom didn't freak out. I believe that there were so many times she did freak out on me for other severities that i finally wore her down. She was probably just glad I was passed out at home, shitting on our floor instead of dead in a ditch, shitting on the ground.
Oh, thanks for the title "fudgepump". It's quite shitting!

I had this hot blond babe she was beautiful, had a nice bod, she was rich.....I'm poor, fat, ugly, and I got 12 teeth, she loved vodka shes calls me up one day from the grocery store, "Guess what I just did?" She says "I just shit my pants." I hung up, they can shit on my face but I aien't gonna do no woman shits in her pants....No sir not me. This is what you get it's all part of getting loaded an occasional accident is funny, I can't understand these guys who pound malt liquor all day long and walk around with a runny load of crap in there pants. I'm a drunk had a couple scarey accidents, wild story that one would have freaked me out, I did piss in the closet a couple times thinking it was a urinal.

Fartist, I'm not sure what your point is (since your cute wordplay is such pure genius), but I'll take a stab at it with this reply: in my world, sphincters are uni-directional ports - output only. How about you?

Damn, did I get up on the wrong side of the bed today, or what? Mea culpa in advance, Fartist, whatever your original intent. This is me, climbing back into bed for my 4th day of 101+ fever (some damn virus; nothing to do but sweat it out). Note to self: think twice, post once.

Dookie Dog, were you drunk when you posted that incoherent drivel? Holy crap, everyone who read that is now dumber for having done so. I had to check the spelling of two words in this post, I was so dazed from your lack of grammer skills.

Fudgepump:
Nevermind, I'm an idiot. I didn't realize Daphne was replying to you. I thought she was calling me a "fudgepump" in reference to the seemingly endless supply of fudge my ass produces. I guess I shouldn't try to scan the comments so quickly. You can go back to bed now.

Forgive me for I have sinned and cum short of thee glory of straight-pipe.............

I have read elsewhere that you are like forty-something, dookie dog. From your incohnerant ramblings, however, I would assume you are about fifteen. And immature for that age.

Hey Fartist, when was this time when you were 16? What year was it? I sometimes have psychic abilities, and I see this as the "grunge" time of 1992...hhhhmmmm maybe it's not psychic abilities, but you all know about the grunge years of the early 90's. I was just a virginal pre-teen at the time, but looking at the teenagers a bit older than me then, they looked like the type of people who shit on floors, etc. Actually they looked homeless. But that was the style. So tell us, am I correct? Was it 1992?

actually I'm 46, and I think you are right by assuming that I am immature for even 15 pretty close estimnation I might ad, since the misquito bit me when I was 17 and erased my brain. I'm really sorry that you yuppie scum bags think I'm not good enough for you what I might lack in smarts I do not lack in strength so if you think I'm going to get on all fours and lick your anus forget it man, I'm sure you get that from ah, I'm sorry brain fart Forgive me I have sinned and cum short of the glory of straight-pipe, and freakanoid.

OK everyone, about DOOKIE DOG. First, I would like to say..chill out Dookie Dog!! OK? Second, I will translate his story to everyone. Yes, it is difficult to understand, words spelled wrong, jumping subject to subject, etc. But what this man is trying to tell everyone, is, he's telling us about this girl he liked. She was a classy girl, rich, sexy, etc. but also a bit kinky. They dated...He was into her shitting on his face (and yes, that IS a sexual act, that many many people get off on. If you don't believe me download it on Kazaa, I have. There are pornos on this type of behavior) but he wasn't going to screw the girl with a shitty crotch. She called him and said "hey, I just shit in my pants." It was like a Booty Call, but he wasn't into it. Then Dookie Dog jumps the subject, and starts reminising about times when he was a wild youth himself. Pissing in closets and stuff while drunk. Ok I hope my translation was good

Yes, Fartist, you really don't have to worry about me doing too much name calling and the like. I think Straight-Pipe and Shit Reaper got that covered.
I tend to stay on the porch unless I'm really pissed off!

Very close Crapaterial Girl! I was 17, almost 18, and the year was 1993! And yes, you could tell that i shit on floors just by looking at me. A handsome young crap was I!

You see! Not omly am I a Crapaterial Girl, I'm psychic! I knew the story was taking place around that time frame, even though there was no mention of dates. I'm better than MaDONNA, that old skank! I'm the Crapaterial Girl!

Well, I was another one of your basic "dud" teenagers. (Actually, I did cool things...sober..like walking through ghettos late at night...imagine of I had used inebriants?!)

I don't understand how yous guys got away with it...my mother would've literally killed me! Sheesh...I couldn't even smoke cigarettes without getting caught!

Great story though, Fartist. Made me feel like I was there (Not that I'd want to be, though!)

I wish my mom would have the leniency of letting me get away with shitting on my floor. Not that I would want to... You must have had some strange dreams that night.

I Smoke a lot of Blunts, but I still am not pathetic enough to shit in my own room.... learn to handle yourself Shit Baby. p.s. One day i would like to see a 12 inch Turd, that must have been cool

I to smoke my fair share blunts and it seems to me that you might have confused your weed with pubic hair. I agree with RUUUUUUDBOI, you are a shit baby. Get the package to the bowl next time you weird little butt bandit.
P.S. you know you tasted it Shit Fingers

CK'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh, how i miss your scattered hash browns, fat smiling waitresses, and watered-down coffee at 4 in the morning. just the mention of ck's made my day! which was your ck's? i was all about the east high!! Memphrica represent!!!

Those wild teen years, I peed in a guys decorative tree in his dining room during a New Years Eve party. My girlfriend said I told her I was outside in the forest.

Boy, It looks like I had a sheltered life as a teen. Though I was a bit of a dud, I was still well liked as a teenager. I also had lots of fun times.

The worst thing I did was had a drink on New Year's, starting at age 14.

I did do a few stupid things as a teen I guess. Don't we all?
_______
"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"