Sad, but entertaining story. Your poor Mom...

I am not very religious, but I have seen my share of miraculous healings... I'll throw one up for her.

Wow, that's terrible. I hope everything works out for your mom and she lives to be 120. God Speed.

I too wish the best for you Mom & family...but this is a pathetic picture you paint.

Looks like one of the morals to this story is stop your loved ones BEFORE they become morbidly obese.

The other is something anyone who has ever worked in food service already knows: No matter how bad the service, NEVER EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES send food back to the kitchen. SOmething bad will happen to it. And FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NEVER, UNLESS YOU'RE A COMPLETE MORON send food back to the kitchen AFTER being a loudmouth pain in the ass. you will end up shitting yourself.

This applies no matter how awful the service may be.

Tronald: read closer. The weight problem is a symptom of her illness, not the cause.

Your callousness is shocking.

No curelty inteded. I hope the best for her, truly.

However, i do not see where in this story it is stated that the obesity is a result of her medical problems. As far as i know Diabetes often strikes obese people. It was my assumption that it was the case here as well. Also, her inability to find her tumour was directly related to her obesity. Also, her inability to move around quickly enough to deal with the "shityourself" elements of this story was undoubtedly aggravated by her obesity.

I mean no personal harm to anyone, but stand by my belief that we would all do ourselves, and familys a favor by never becoming morbidly obese.

"type 2 diabetes is linked to OBESITY (emphasis mine) and inactivity"
http://www.naaso.org/information/diabetes_obesity.asp

afkap: As i have stated twice, and i'm sure you have already absorbed, i wish the best for your Mom. But could you settle this disagreement between Ty and myself? Has your mother been dealing with obesity for a long time?

i think this story is very disrespectful. i mean, did u even get permission from her to blab about her personal life on POOP.REPORT.COM!!!!!!!!!!

beshitting the floor??? LOL!!

a pantsload of anal chili trailing behind you like breadcrumbs in a wacked out children's tale.??? NICE!!!

.....Why does this sound like something i would read on Fark.com?

that is so sad! why is it that some people just seem to have no end to their medical problems? any one of those things would've been bad enough, but for all of them to happen to the same person is just horrible. i really do hope your mom can pull through all this. she sounds like a good person who doesn't deserve any of that, like most people who go through that stuff.

your dad sounds similar to my dad. he's a nice, friendly, goofy guy, but if you piss him off (and it's not too hard in some situations) he will tear you apart. i hope your dad scared the shit out of those nurses. i wasn't even there and that really pisses me off. did they forget they were working in a hospital where something could go wrong with any given patient at any given time?? every nurse being away from their stations at once is highly irresponsible. they're lucky your mom's emergency wasn't life-threatening, or your family probably could've sued for malpractice and they'd all lose their jobs. i know nurses don't have it easy in their jobs, but they just can't neglect their duty like that. there should've been at least been one person attending to the patients while the rest gossiped.

anyway, that was a good story. very sad, but you kept it from getting too depressing with things like "I'm sure he mentioned something about the staff's dubious parentage and sexual habits."

good luck to your mom!

That story really brightened my day.

kid shits self = cute
college student shits self = funny
CEO shits himself = hilarious
multiply diseased, hospitalized, hooked up to IVs limping lady shitself, and is humiliated = not too funny

hope she's doing well today.

Great analysis, Shitass.

thats really horrible, but i think its time to put mom down.

If possible have her suicide bomb a IHOP in the process.

GOD is telling you to end her misery.

One question- did everyone in IHOP get up and leave or did they actually stay and eat? I'm guessing that they had to close down for the rest of the day or at least until the mess was cleaned up and the smell gone.

I'm kind of new to PoopReport, but this story seems like it doesn't fit with the whole theme and spirit of PR. I've seen a lot of humor and some factual discussion, but not anything nearly this sad.

Artist Formerly Known as Poo-Poo, I feel for you and your mother. Wow. But I also can't help but feel that it would embarrass her to no end if she knew this story was up here.

That's probably the saddest story I've ever read. I've also known people who have had massive medical problems, and feel terrible for your mom. But what was your dad thinking, taking her to IHOP? Every time I've eaten there I've ended up with tsunami-level diarrhea, and haven't been back in years. They should get a live-in caretaker who prepares the right meals for her so she'll stay regular. I wish your Ma the best, god knows if someone spiked my mom's food with something they would end up hanging from a lightpole on Main Street.

shatty, while this site is generally more light-hearted, it's also a place where people can talk seriously about poop. that includes sad stories in addition to funny ones. near as i can tell, the only poop-related topic that's off limits is fetish type stuff. but nothing on the site says poopreports have to be funny.

also, to you and the blaster, even if his mom knew about this story, which she very well might, i don't think there's anything to be embarassed about, considering it's anonymous and nobody reading the story even knows who she is.

Wow, that really sucks Poo-Poo - that's got to be hard on everyone. My grandma goes out to eat regularly, she avoids IHOP, so do I - I've had friends happily tell the story of when a patron would get pissed off about something being wrong with the food, so the cooks would spit in the meal, occasionally hocking a loogie, no ExLax though.

wonderpance:
what about

"The Intellectual Appreciation of Poop Humor"?

I think it's that statement, right in the name of the website that interrupts the expectations of newbies like me.

[should proofread! insert above.]
causes the interrruption of expectations

This is PRECISELY why we have to nip the fatty problem in the bud. I don't think all of these problems were some mystical "roll of the dice", but could be associated with your mom's obesity - especially the sore, and the potential cancers.

Perhaps a new tax system should be set up that calculates based on your percent body fat!

Gee, a lady with a brain aneurysm kept alive with experimental drugs? Maybe she couldn't get around well enough to exercise. And the drugs themselves could have caused weight gain.

I also might add that Type II diabetes IS genetic. My father has it and he's a skinny guy. But both of my grandparents had it, so he got a double whammy.

Anyway, Artist, I wish you and your family well. It's good to know that you are looking out for your mom. I hope her health improves.

"Almost 90% of people with type 2 diabetes are overweight."
http://www.naaso.org/information/diabetes_obesity.asp
Sorry to hear about your dad, but he's an anomaly.
tafkapp's mom? Only tafkapp knows.

OK, this is a big one.

Holy Shitter, Dave, and Pill Pooper: thanks for the support. Knowing my mom, she will live to be 120. She's a tough lady. The doctors told us after the aneurysm ruptured, even after they slowed the progression, that she'd be dead within 2 years. It's been 12.
She's a lot like my 80+ year old grandmother. She's survived high blood pressure, stroke, severe asthma, thyroid problems, and just went into remission from having breast cancer AND lymphoma at the same time. Except for her being bald, she hasn't slowed down yet. My mom's like that. So am I, for that matter.

wonderpance: that's my dad to a T. At least all this shit didn't happen at a base hospital--if it had he couldn't have sued. He tried once to sue the base hospital when I was 5 and was misdiagnosed with the flu and told to go home and quit bothering them. Another hospital found I had double pneumonia. For some reason, you can't sue military hospitals. As they're known for taking doctors no one else will, that's probably to cover their ass.

Shatty Cake and the Blaster: No, my mother doesn't know I posted this story. I'm pretty sure most of the stories here that involve someone else were also posted without permission to use forms filled out in triplicate and notarized. That's why I changed details and left names out. Not everybody does that.

shitass and Shatty Cake: There have been other stories published here about 1. horrible hospital experiences involving shit and 2. horrible restaurant/food/revenge experiences dealing with shit.
Mainly, I was talking about the fact my disabled mom has had two experiences involving shit that did not have to happen. Sort of like the story posted by the former assistant plumber who worked in the projects. Those scenarios did not have to happen. Same thing here.
I also tried to interject humor into this. One of the things I enjoy about this site is the quality of the writing and the excellent similies and metaphors employed.

Tronald Dump: Yes, my mother was overweight before. She had been losing weight. Menopause can make that harder to happen. So can having brain surgery in the area where your metabolism is regulated. When the diabetes was discovered, she was immediately placed on a 1500 calories a day diet. Because of the hypoglycemic drugs she was on, she gained more weight, which is a common, and very bad, side effect in these cases. She's now on the South Beach diet, eats 1200 calories a day and is losing weight slowly. My dad even up and moved from Alaska, where they had been living and he loves, down to Florida, so my mom can have a pool to do exercises in and warm weather to take walks in.
My mother wasn't unable find her open sore because she's overweight. She didn't find it because it was on her side about six inches down from the armpit and onto the side of her breast, which is hard for anyone to see, especially when you're as large-chested as my mom (that's not from being fat, that's from being pregnant with me). She didn't find it because nerve damage from the diabetes prevented her from FEELING it. Necrotizing fasciicitis (not sure if I've spelled it right) is extremely fast acting. By the time it got obvious, the doctors told me, the skin nerves had been destroyed so even if she was in perfect health, she might not have noticed it anyway. Only the fact my dad happened to see it saved her life.
As for her being overweight making it hard for her to get to the bathroom...no, my mom gets around pretty well for her weight. She's only about 200 lbs and dropping. She couldn't move fast because of 1. balance problems from the brain surgery has her walking with a cane-she sort of wobbles when she walks and trips easily. 2. good old arthritis 3. many of the neurological proceedures she's had involved angiograms, which entails snaking a thin catheter up the femoral artery all the way to the brain (here's the weird thing--they do it when you're awake. they give you Valium, but you're awake. Creeped my mom out totally. She said she felt like they were running a pipe cleaner up her from stem to stern.). She had the proceedure probably 15 times (after #1, I would have said no way in hell), resulting in scar tissue in her groin on both sides that's a tad painful.
I love it when people bitch about obese people, how they need to lose weight because their problems are their fault, but if they don't immediately drop the weight and end up a size 8 in two months, they must be lazy. Obesity is a medical condition--if it was that easy to lose a great deal of weight, there wouldn't be all these diet products on the market.
My mother also comes from a family where the women tend to get big like that, so some is genetic. While she did have some risk factors for diabetes, she really weirded the doctors out when they discovered it because there's no diabetes in our family at all, and she's not of a race that tends to be more prone to diabetes, either.
I'm not saying she was blameless. She ate too much and didn't get enough exercise. But you know what? What's the good of placing blame? She's sick and trying to get better. Idiots like you who slam her don't make it easier. It's people like you that's the reason her self-esteem is shot; she knows people talk about her behind her back, and she hates that. So she doesn't go out because she doesn't want people to see her, so she doesn't exercise, so the weight stays...my mom's trying. Give her some credit.

Anal Fissure, in response to your oh so supportive, caring statements:
"thats really horrible, but i think its time to put mom down.

If possible have her suicide bomb a IHOP in the process.

GOD is telling you to end her misery."

My mother is alive and functioning. She has problems, sure. But she's got a lot to live for. She loves murder mysteries. She's a NASCAR fan and has been her whole life. She loves sea otters, cats, and anything cute and fuzzy.
She's waiting for me to get married and give her a grandchild. Hell, she's waiting for the Indy 500 even more.
She talks to me weekly, and she is probably my best friend. My mom virtually raised me alone because my dad was gone so often. She helped me with homework and encouraged me in school and was overjoyed when I won scholarships to college. She supported me through a nasty marriage and divorce, and even though she doesn't understand, she supports me through my disabilities (hearing loss, rheumatoid arthritis, bipolar disorder), just like I support her.
Just because she's disabled doesn't mean she should be taken out back and shot like a lame horse.
She loves life. It almost destroyed my dad and I each time she almost died. We knew that if there came a time there was no hope of recovery and she'd never be the person she was, like if she had irreversible brain damage and was on a respirator, she made it clear she would not want to be kept alive by machines. Dad and I both know that. Both times she's come close, we've talked about it. It would wrench our hearts, but we wouldn't keep her around just for our benefit. We know if it came to that, what made her "her", would be gone already.
But she's a fighter. If she hadn't have fought, she would have been dead before I graduated high school of the aneurysm, or died when she got flesh eating bacteria. She doesn't want to die. She's not all that thrilled about being ill, but she knows she's only got one life to live.
There are lots of people out there who are extremely disabled and make a difference. Stephen Hawkins, the brilliant theoretical physicist, is completely paralyzed with Lou Gerihg's disease, but his most famous work came after he could no longer move. He uses a computer to communicate to the world. He's probably the smartest human being alive today.
How about myself? I have progressive hearing loss, I'm losing mobility from rheumatoid arthritis, and I have a incurable chronic mental condition that has sometimes hospitalized me with complete psychosis. Do I hate the fact I'm sick? Yes. Am I going to just lie down and die? No! Because of my mother, who you think should die, I am alive, because she has talked me out of suicide countless times when I feel it gets too bad to live. I am back in school, getting MCSE certified to work on computer networks and servers, because it doesn't matter if I can't move so well with a computer, and computers don't get upset when I miss some meds and yell at them. I've got a hell of a lot to offer society, you think I should lay down and die because you don't like it? Or my mom should? Go to hell and bake bagels.
Just because you've got a problem with people who aren't like you doesn't mean they have to change. You have to change.

Here we go again...

NAPO--my mom's flesh-eating bacteria was not caused by her obesity. It was caused by a out of control antibiotic resistant staph infection.

Jaid--it wasn't experimental drugs that kept her alive. She had what was called coil embolization, where a doctor used a catheter to stuff the aneurysm with tiny platinum coils, so blood can't build up and burst it again. They did this instead of clipping it off because the aneurysm is in her brain stem. If you clip an aneurysm in most other places of the brain, and you accidently also clip something that cuts off blood flow to the brain, a person might lose their French lessons, or their vision. The brain stem controls involuntary responses, like breathing and heartbeat. If they made one tiny mistake there, she'd have died instantly. She had the coil embolization done three times, and finally, three years later, they had a good enough image of the area that they could clip it off without instantly killing her. She's got a fantastic scar from that surgery. They shaved half her head for it, I don't know why they didn't shave it all. She came home with 1/4 inch stubble on one side, and shoulder length hair on the other. Even weirder, they kept her hair in a little baggie and gave it to my dad. I think it's so if she had died in surgery he'd have it to remember her by. Personally, that's just too weird for me.
Coil embolization is a common procedure now, but it wasn't then. My mom was Medevac-ed out to Wilford Hall Medical Center in San Antonio, TX, and the doctor who did the procedure was a Lebanese researcher. Consequently, my parents are emphatically NOT prejudiced against Middle Easterners.

Artist, ignore those fucking clowns who are cracking jokes about your mother or calling her a fat ass. They are immature, stupid fucks who have no idea how to deal with real life. In fact, they are probably the same type of fucks who laugh at rape scenes and think it's funny to torture animals. They are subcreatures with no reason to live themselves.

I hope your mother recovers from recent trouble, as she most likely will considering her strength of character and determination.

Also, I hope the fuck who put something in her food gets his nuts cut off with a cleaver. It's this kind of fucker who would crack jokes.

wow i hope the best for your mother. that is a lot to have to deal with, but it is wonderful that she hasn't lost her spirit.

i agree with freakaziod, ignore the people posting nasty comments. they aren't worth your time. i think it is incredibly rude for anyone to berate your mother. those of us blessed with health and slim body types have no idea what others must feel. and it is completely disrespectful to make fun of anyone's mother in any circumstance.

Anal fissure, you are a complete asshole.

Damn! I hope your mother is okay. She seems pretty strong, despite all her health issues. I wish the best for her, and for you.

Your father reminds me of a friend of mine who was born and raised in New York City. No matter what happens, he always lets you know what he thinks. Especially if you piss him off.

I thought the story was funny, though I am not laughing at your mother's condition. That sounds awful!

And yes, I also agree with freakazoid.

First of all, I am a religious person, and I did just say a prayer for your mother. She's a tough cookie, best wishes to her.

Secondly, I don't think this story was out of place on Poop Report. We've had many other stories of the serious nature before. Personally, I would not have written this story because it deals with something I would not want to share on the internet, but I can understand your reasons for doing so.

As others wrote, just ignore ignorant responses. There is nothing you can write that will change their opinion. You volunteered this story to be posted here, you just have to expect dumbass comments.

I'm not sure about your father though. From what you state about his personality, he sounds like the type of person looking to blame people a lot.

I've worked with the public for years and I have found that the spouses of very ill people tend to be overly aggressive and protective in regards to situations involving their sick loved ones. I can understand their reactions, but its not very pleasant dealing with them, and often they only cause more problems by acting irrationally. I understand your family believes IHOP doped your mother's food, but she was sick woman, who had problems sensing bowel movements, I'd look to that before thinking the food was drugged. Again, just how I'd react in that situation.

In regards to your writing style, I think you did a good job presenting a sympathetic portrayal of your mother, that was definately your best quality in the writing. Your story was very long, but I stuck with it throughout because you developed an empathetic relationship with the reader, kudos for doing so. However, your description of the IHOP incident seemed out of place. I understand wanting to try and inject some humor into another wise serious tale (especially for Poop Report, which typically has humor stories), but your descriptions, like "anal chili trailing" and the four horsemen bit seemed forced. I don't think you really find this situation funny at all, no need to portray it as such if you don't feel it. The rest of your story felt genuine and evoked empathy in the readers, I would have stuck with that emotion at the IHOP scene; it just didn't fit.

Thank you for sharing your story, and good luck to your mother and your family.

Tronald Dump. Why are you always such a fucking asshole?

My mother had a lot of health problems as well. It sounds like your mom is a very strong and dignified person. And it seems she raised you to be a very compassionate and sensitive person.

tafkapp:
regarding your comments directed to me,thanks for the explanation, not to mention for opening up your family's personal life for discussion. As someone who accepted the (open) invitation to join in this discussion, and contributed scientificaly plausable hypotheses along with words of support, and an indisputably sound suggestion to avoid obesity, rather than simple platitudes, I am not surprised that my opinions on the subject have been received negatively, and that opinions not stated by me have been wrongly attributed. (leaving aside my lame attmpt at humor re: sending food back at IHOP)
My disagreement with Ty, was regarding whether your original story expicitly stated that your mother's obesity was a result of her various illnesses. It clearly does not.

At no time have i ever "bitched" about fat people, or suggested a two month time frame for arrival at size eight. Though i don't think that it's partiucularly awful to suggest that we as individuals do bear some responsibility for our weight. (is that really mean and crazy to say?)

Now as far as where i possibly strayed into conjecture, you did state in your story that your mom couldn't find the sore in part because she was "a little large". Is it cruel, and thoughtless to read that as 'overweight'? you modify that explanation in your later comments to mean 'busty'. How could i have known?

As far as the assumption that her weight might impede her movement, i am glad to hear how agile she is despite the balance/ pain issues. But once again, do you really think it paritcularly cruel of me to think of an overweight woman as not remarkably sprightly?

Now i know there are too many facts that only you, your mom, and her doctor are privy to for a random person to come to any really valid conclusion based on the info you give, but do not confuse my armchair analysis with meanspiritedness.

If for instance i were to point out that the original problem was diagnosed by a doctor as stemming from high blood pressure, and that high blood pressure is often a result of obesity, that is just logical reasoning. It's a possibilty, not a personal judgement, or a professioinal medical opinion. And it's also something that all of us would do well to take note of. I didn't know that hypertension could lead to an aneurysm in the brain. I for one will think twice about ordering the cheese fries.

Finally, pokebutt:
Try to rephrase that question in a form other than "passive name calling" and i will be glad to explain why i made any comment that i have made. What exactly has upset you?

Cool!!!!!

PooPoo, best wishes and prayers for your Mom. My mom has had her share of problems the last couple of years due to botched hysterectomy at the local butcher shop, er excuse me, hospital. I think I have a good idea of how you feel. Godspeed to your family.
To the other insensitive clods on this thread: put your plunger in the toilet bowl,pull your pants down, place rectum over plunger stick, jam anus onto stick. Oh, and twist left and right.

I feel bad for the woman, but maybe she should've changed doctors right from the beginning. I've been in the medical field for 20 plus years and something doesn't sound right. They told you it was linked to high blood pressure? Are you near a major city?

I'm so sorry your mom has to go through shit like that. And you're right; never piss us Italians off - we WILL GET YOU IF YOU DO. lol

Like alot of other people I have an incurable chronic mental condition that has sometimes hospitalized me with complete psychosis.
My medication , Haldol, works well for me. But sometimes i fee really out of it. It's hard being sick. We need all the supprt we can get. So be nice or thumper's mother ssaid don't say nothing.

tronald dump-I'm sorry. I was a little touchy after what anal fissure said. I read too much into your words and figured you were being a jerk. My mom and I have had bad experiences with people who started off like you did, but degenerated into guilt-tripping. I'm sorry I thought you were doing that.
My mom does take responsibility for her being overweight, but she's having to fight a lot to overcome it. I was seeing what you were saying as "blame the victim". She knows a lot of what's happened she caused. I just don't think that telling someone that it's their fault they're so sick does anything for them. They know they screwed up, they don't want it thrown in their faces so much.
I did realize, after reading your second statement, I kind of assumed you knew what I was talking about. Now I know what it means to assume--it makes an ASS out of U and ME both! Forgive me? In true PoopReport spirit?

Nurse Nailem and tronald dump--My mom's aneurysm was mostly likely present at birth. A fair amount of people have them, and most never know until they have a CAT scan or MRI done for another reason, or they break, which I learned years after my mom's did, is fatal in 75% of people.
My mother has high blood pressure, and has since I was a kid, before she gained a lot of weight. It runs in her side of the family. I remember her having to quit taking the Pill when I was 10 because it sent her blood pressure through the stratosphere.
When her aneurysm ruptured, the doctors found that my mom's blood pressure was about 210-120, and they believe that it being that high was what made the aneurysm give way. They also were amazed it hadn't happened earlier in her life, specifically, during the 27 hours of labor she had while giving birth to me. There have been many cases where women were discovered to have had an aneurysm only after they suddenly died while giving birth.
The other problems (flesh-eating bacteria) was likely helped along by the fact she had diabetes, which causes both nerve damage and immune system dysfunction.
I'm sure my mother would have loved to have changed doctors at the time, but she didn't have a choice. When the military pays your medical bills, they also limit who you can see. When we both lived in OK at the same time, the closest air force base had only two internists, doctors who see people with chronic aliments. I saw one, she saw the other. She couldn't even switch over to my doctor.
Base hospitals are pretty small, so there really isn't a lot of choice of who to see. Now that Dad's retired and they're in Florida, they go to a really good internist off-base that accepts TRICARE Prime, military health insurance.
Mom doesn't really like doctors all that much, probably because she worked in a hospital for seven years, but she really likes the new one she's got, because this one will listen to her.

Commod-O-Dragon--much of my phrasing in the IHOP story was based on what my mom told me she felt like, as the term "giving birth to the anti-christ" came up once while we were speaking. I was also trying to imagine what it would be like to have to leave a public place after something so horrible had happened, seeing as everyone knew exactly what happened. What do you do? Act natural? She's able to make jokes about it now. Some of the jokes she's made I put into the story.
BTW, I may not have made it clear in my earlier writing, but my mom does not have a problem with knowing she has to shit. In the hospital, she had difficulty getting to the bathroom because of the IV pump, plus she was taking a strong antibiotic that made her prone to diarrhea. I was trying more to show that the nurses, who had forbidden my dad from taking her to the bathroom, were nowhere to be found when she had to go.
As many people here can attest, sometimes, when the shit-signal hits the siren, especially if triggered by an outside source, you can't get there in time. It's like vomiting, sometimes you can't hit the bathroom in time.
Like many women her age, she found out awhile back that her bladder control isn't what it used to be. Whenever we moved around the country, we drove, and she used to have a cast-iron bladder, able to withstand a 400-mile wait to the nearest gas station. Not anymore. Now she knows, when she gets the slightest twinge, to go right then.

"your a complete asshole"

DUH! i'm an Anal Fissure.

Am I the only one who found this story uproariously funny? I seriously mean I couldn't stop laughing all the way through it. I don't thing one specific image stood out as funnier than the rest, but it's rather the matter-of-fact style of the telling. I would go along with Dave and call this the saddest I've read yet, but it's a milestone in PoopReporting as far as I'm concerned.

I feel so dirty for laughing as hard as I did. I think the only thing that would have made this funnier is if such incidicents as the IHOP ICRAP happened to people who actually deserved them. Your mother certainly didn't deserve any of this, hence the more tragic nature of this dookie drama.

I think this story should replace "pass this on and your true love will kiss you" as the nation's most prominent chain email. Kudos to your mom. She's a survivor. More people need to read this. It makes the rest of us realize how lucky we really are.

PS-- To the best of my recollection, IHOP does, indeed, suck. Last time I was there (10 years ago) I threw up my guts all over the sidewalk in front of the main entrance, thereby forcing all newcomers from that point on to sidestep a steaming puddle of regurgitated cantaloupe and sausage.

Dear Artist formerly known as Poo Poo, In some spots of your story I did, forgive me, find funny. In my own defense, because I have been there myself. Suffering from IBS, when you get the urge you have to go NOW, not 5 minutes from now, but RIGHT NOW.

My family laughs because there are certain restaurants I won't go to, because their bathrooms are nasty and I basically know every bathroom to everyplace we go out to. But, life does go own....and you have to find some way to life with it. My best to you, your Mom and Dad. Family means a lot at this time and it sounds like she has a great one!!!!

Your poor mother. What things to happen.

"But, life does go own....and you have to find some way to life with it."

That's the only dang thing that made sense today!

Artist.......
brilliantly written story.....very long, but it does justice to the situation. i also have bipolar disorder also known as manic depression. yes it definitely does suck to be sick. i wish the bond with my mother was as good as yours........i am glad for your mom that she has people like you and your Dad to rally around her when she is feeling like....well.........shit. good for her for trying to lose weight, i hope she continues to have successes in that department........i think selfesteem killers need to die themselves.......they kill good people........but luckily for your mom she is a survivor and as i said before she has you and your father to rally behind her..........i wish the best to all of you......my prayers are with you
Athena Ivan the Terrible

PooPoo,
You wrote, "But because of nerve damage, she doesn't get a great deal of warning; she's got a limited amount of time before the dam breaks."

I assumed what you were refering to is some sort of nerve damage to her body that inhibits her from sensing a bowel movement until its upon her, and this is a permanent condition, like most nerve damage is. If anti-biotics was the cause of her sudden urge to use the bathroom in the hospital, then, yes, that should have been clarified, rather than stating nerve damage was the reason she had difficulty understanding when she had a bowel movement.
You also mention in your last post that she has difficulty controlling her bladder. This all leads to my point that I would look to those issues as the root of her IHOP problem, as opposed to her food being drugged.

Also, when I said I didn't think your writing style during the IHOP scene fit with the rest of the story, I was just giving you a critique on your writing style. I don't think the tone of language in that scene fit with the rest of the story.

Perhaps your mother described the incident as such, but your mother didn't write this story, you did. If you were using someone else's phrases in this spot, then perhaps thats why it seemed out of place. Again, thats just my opinion.

BTW, I found this interesting. "My Mother" was 2515 words, a relatively long Poop Report. The Artist Formerly Known as Poo Poo's responses to this Poop Report has totaled 2671 words (and counting).
I've never seen an author respond to his or her Poop Report in more words than it took to write the original story (though I'm sure its happened at some point).
Interesting...

Sorry I was unclear. My bad.
Sorry about biting your head off about critiquing my writing. Reflex from writing for a newspaper with a idiot editor. I had taken some things my mom said and "improved" their flow. I was trying to get readers to put themselves into the situation with some humor drawn from comments my mom said later.
My parents, along with the doctor, think that it probably was something in the food. She was in great health, it didn't recur, and she didn't have an infection or parasites, or anything that could cause something that dramatic. Something fast-acting in the food was all they could think of. It could have been something else, but taking into account what happened before she ate the food, there's a high probability there was something put in the food. As she's never shat herself in public before or since, that's what we think happened.
The "loss of bladder control" is something a lot of women tend to get in their older years. Mom's was probably exacerbated from having to hold it for a long time on many occasions. I think her pee sphincter went on strike from unfair working conditions, at least that's what I tell her. She's never had problems before or since with bowel function. She just saves any trouble now by going immediately to the bathroom the second she feels any twinge.
Diabetics get nerve damage, but it's usually peripheral nerves, such as on the skin, limbs, or eyes. That's why some diabetics have to have leg amputations--they get a cut that gets infected, but they can't feel down there very well, and by the time they notice something has gone wrong, there's gangrene. It's also why some diabetics go blind. I don't know if the same things happens to nerves in the bladder and rectum.
I was referring to nerve damage to the skin when talking about my mom, because she didn't feel the original sore. Her doctors think it was a pressure sore. Because she couldn't feel pain, she didn't shift positions or her clothing, which opened the sore, which is how the infection started. She probably got the initial sore 2-3 days before my dad saw it, and by that time it was about the size of a saucer. How she didn't feel that, I don't know, but she didn't. Within three hours of being hospitalized, her kidneys failed from the systemic infection. She said it didn't hurt until the plastic surgeon took out the rotted tissue and put the skin graft on, and even then, she had more pain from the donor graft site (her leg) than the recipient graft site. Weird.

shitass: yea, i can understand what you're saying. i guess i just see it as a site about poop in general, and it just so happens that a majority of poop-related topics are humorous, but not everything is. i think that's why the word "intellectual" is included in the site motto thingy. because taking an intellectual approach to the topic of poop is to understand that not everything concerning poop is funny. does that make sense? i could be completely wrong anyway, that's just how i look at it.

poopoo: sounds like your family is lucky to have gotten away from the military hospital system. not being able to choose your own doctor is bad enough, but having to go to a crappy one is just no good.

commode-o: that is interesting. but i think he just, understandably, feels the need to defend his mom's honor and make sure nobody gets the wrong idea about her based on what he wrote. you know how people feel about their mommas. plus, he's only responding to posts that warrant a response, like where people ask specific questions.

I feel sorry for your mom. No human , should suffer like this :(

Oh my God, I work in a hospital, we have medical encyclopedia shorter than the comments on this page, lighten up everybody!
My personal preferance is for light hearted, funny poop stories, I like to read the stories after a hard days work and think, hey, God does have a sense of humour after all! This story didn't make me think that, it just depressed me. I'm sad for your mom, but you know there are professionals out there to listen to this sort of story.

tafkapp:
good to be understood. f'geddabowdit.
Now I'm off to shit on my cat, or something so I can have a zany, off the wall poopreport to submit!

Dude, someone tell TAFKAPP to put a sock in it.

No one is going to read all that crap!!!

It's not up to you Fruit Poop. The people on Poop Report count as a proffessional community, and that means friends, which means they are qualified to listen.

Poo Poo, I think your mother is a wonderful woman with loads of strength. You are both lucky to have each other and I wish your family the best. I know how hard it is to pull a shift at a hospital, especially if your not even a nurse and just a lowly CNA, yet I'm cheering your dad on in my mind. :)

Poop Fruit, blow it out your ass.

Sorry, how do the people on poop report count as a professional (note spelling) community? This isn't poopaholics anonymous. I accept that this place is a community,and I also accept that there is more to poop than funny anecdotes,but I really think this site is more about the funny side than the sad side of poop! I'm sorry if I offended your (all be it misguided) sense of righteousness, but you know, I am entitled to my opinion too. As I already said, I feel sorry for poo poo's mom, but maybe this isn't the place to share his mom's abject humiliation.
Poopini, blow it out YOUR ass (then write something funny about it)

I've never seen an author "babysit" his or her story after its publication on the site like this author has done.

At some point you have to let the work speak for itself, and if it can't speak for itself without further clarifications from the author, then maybe it shouldn't have been published in the first place.

Bill Turdis, you haven't read my PMS story. Crusty The Snowman.

I am appalled you even told this story...You heartless Bitch. Your mom is going through so much and you type a story about her losing her bowels? Twisted....simply Twisted.

You need my services.

It has to be a terrible feeling as a child to have a parent suffering from so many serious health conditions in a short period of time. Your folks sound like nice people and I wish the best for both of them, especially your mom. I'll keep them in my prayers.

Mom problems are never fun, nor are poop in the restaurant problems.

I once quit a lucrative career as a bus boy in a New Jersey steakhouse when the manager asked me to clean a toilet that the last user forgot to lift the lid from.

Hope your mom outlives us all.

My sympathies to your mother, bless her heart. The story was entertaining to read, albeit sad.

Yeah, my family never goes to IHOP anymore; my sister and my mum went there on her birthday (she got to skip school so as to better enjoy the day), and the end result was that my sister, rather than have a fun birthday, got food poisoning.

As for the nurses at the hospital, I think your dad was probably right in whatever explitives he chose. I volunteered at a hospital where my mum is a nurse, and neither her nor her coworkers EVER ignore a patient's need to shit.

I feel sooo sorry for your poor mother. How is she? IHOP will be on my list of destruction when I take over the the world. :)

The Holy Shitter is not a religious person?!? Huh huh, ha ha!!! That's the funniest thing I've read all year!

All I can say is, I hope I die long before my health fails as spectacularly as your mother's.

great story, i 'll pray for your mum.My mum also have such poop problems, but so far she have yet to crap herself.

IHOP serves some pretty wrong food. Once I ate at IHOP with my wife, when we got home, she had the mudruns for almost 2 hours sitting on the toilet.

tafkapp:
I hope your mom is Ok and that Ihop went out of business because what they did was sick and if i was in your dad's place everyone in that Ihop would have been dead. About the hospital incident that was not only ignorant but just cruel and if I was your father everyone in that hospital would have been dead too. I'm dead serious

Well I wish you mother all the best and hope that her health improves. The nurses were incompetent bitches. Also,never mind if it was " her fault" or not, people should have more sympathy and compassion than to analyse other people's health problems and decide to what extent it is their own fault.

Having said that, Artist formerly known as poo poo,I feel that writing such a story about your mother, putting it on the net, and using the language that you did (which was obviously designed to get some laughs), was beyond disrespectful and not remotely funny.Does your mother know that you did this? Hasn't she gone through enough humiliation without you insensitively sharing her experience with anybody who comes on this site? You obviously lack sensitivity and empathy. Would you poke fun as much if you had suffered in the same way? You are talking like that about your own MOTHER, FOR GOODNESS SAKE. Grow up.

Very good story. I wish nothing but the best for you and your mom. I hope that she has at least a few more years of decent health.

Good luck.
_______
A man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.