As part of the team you beat in said basketball game, I have trouble feeling TOO bad for you. I will say, however, that I felt equally as horrid after drinking that bittersweet cocktail of beer, pizza and basketball. My gastrointestinal rumblings didn't bear fruit in quite the same manner yours did, but I can't help but wonder if the basketball tournament (Set up by Dave) was nothing more than an elaborate plan to get us all sick so we'd shit, puke and write about it for PR. Curious.

Typhoid Dave strikes again!

Mark, you have the gift of story.
Tell that one at the Christmas party. You will be my favorite cousin.

that reminds me of a story of my 6th grad ehealkth teacheer. on day she had eaten some bad fish and ouked it up. the catch is that when she pukes, she also gets bad diarrhea. her b/f at the time was holding her from falling in the toilet because she was so weak. as he was so bravely holding her up, she proceded tp crap all over him. 2 yrs later he broke up w/ her.

Hey - some toilets now come with this way cool invention called a "handle" which is used to remove theh contents of the bowl and replace it with nice clear water. I've used it on the one or two instances where I have been running at both ends. Whoever invented this so-called "flushing" mechanism must be a genious.

That was fucking disgusting. Ish. You need to get a life. Stop drinking so damn much.

There are two things I hate. One is having really bad diarrhea. The cramps are torture. If there is a hell out there everyone has unrelievable diarrhea cramps.

The other things I hate is vomiting. I hate it so much that I hold in vomit if I have to do it. For this reason I haven't vomited for eleven years. And I plan to go longer. Yuck!

I couldn't even imagine having both of these problems at the same time. Poor guy!

I've never erupted from both ends at once. Thank God!

The comment above about the flush mechanism on the toilet got me thinking about a bout of the stomach flu when I was about eight. I couldn't stand the smell or sight of my own puke so every time I'd heave another mouthful of technicolor chunks I'd hold onto the flush handle. I can only imagine what my family heard outside the bathroom. "Hwu! Flush!"

Mark, your behaviour is perfectly normal.. Don't change a thing.

This is the most clever title that I have ever seen!
_______
Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

It's great, isn't it! Not one of mine, alas -- that was the title the submitter provided.

I can take credit for the pizza and the basketball, though. That happened in my back yard.

Sounds like you either has food poisoning or the stomach bug.

I hate puking, (who doesn't). And I hate that feeling just before a diarrhea attack. The cramps, the feeling that there is an anvil in my stomach, the distress.

This is why I have taken vitamin C and zinc for ten years now, and have not had the stomach bug for nearly eleven years 2/10/1996 was my last time. And after that episode, never again, I will make sure.
_______
A man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.