I too am an am shitter and have actually found myself in the same situation. In my case however, its alway while in a canoe on a small lake, so I can simply paddle to shore.

Crapface (above) what does this have 2 do w/ the damn story??? watever, view the site at home.... duhhhhh

funny stuff, funny stuff, bet u ain't gonna drink that beer again.. hehehe
ur story made POOPREPORT.COM a better place, really!!

Well, I can almost hear the convo from the fishes' point of view:

Sea Bass: "There's that big white ass again!"

Tuna: "Yep. But it ain't Chicken-of-the-Sea that's comin' out of it!"

Sea Bass: "Zat one of those fishermen tryin' to catch us?"

Tuna: "Yep. Poor choice of bait, huh?"

Sea Bass: "Whew! You can say that again. How many times do ya think he's gonna poop on us?"

Tuna: "This makes six so far. Nasty. Although the corn wasn't bad."

Sea Bass: "Look out. Here comes some more! This is nearly as hilarious as the time Darryl Hannah was making that 'Splash' movie and peed all over the place through that mermaid costume!"

Tuna: "Yeah. Humans. Go figure."

Nice story, Crapmonster. I especially liked the Shameless aspects of it.

you goddamn shitheads are gonna get me fired!!! i've been caught browsing poopreport so many times they're gonna block the site. i can't help it...it's just too funny. wrong and weird but funny.

The world's largest bidet.

Love it.

As a young man starting out on the road to alcoholism, I too drank alot of Genesse Beer. It will tear you up in more ways than one.

Look on the bright side; when shitting underwater you don't need to wipe!!!

But,
would you drink it in a coat,
would you, would you, for a quote,
in a bath, in a mote,
on a horse, on a goat,
would you, would you, would vote,
would you drink Cream Ale, Anon Lurker?
would you make your bunghole a worker?

No no, no I say!
I will not drink Cream Ale today!
not in a boat, not in a mote,
not on a horse,
not on a goat,
not for a vote, not for a quote,

No, no, no I say,
I will not drink Cream Ale today!

No I won't, I won't, Chip Brown,
So paddle to another town.
Go to another town and seek
some other asshole who is weak,
some drunkard who will chug that shit,
and then ride a boat, lean off of it,
while they squirt a poo for all the fish,
crapping, cringing, while they wish,
for toilet paper, against all odds,
the mountain money of the gods.

While frat boys drive the boat real fast
to pass the crap my butt has past
out to the crying fish that squirm
who eat poo instead of a worm,

So, no, no, no I say,
No Genny Cream Ale, I say,
I may yell and scream, but I retort
I fear ending up on Poopreport.

Ex-Lax has nothing on Genesee Cream Ale. I would never drink that stuff and get on a boat!

GatorX:

That's what I'm talkin' 'bout ... lurkin' with lyrics! Very cool.

Peace is a Pen Name. TH.

This thread has had the best responses ever.

Also, the story kicked ass.

Word, Turd!

Lovin' the lurkin'.

gatorX, that's the best satirical(sp?) Dr. Seuss ever. Most excellent!!! This is the first sea shit I've seen on this site. Is it the only one? It was great, by the way, very to the point.

i just wanted to say that shitting in tha bay in front of your friends 3 times sucks but get ova it pyc.

heyy, doesn't that burn, i mean its salt water and ur doin' diareeea

Shitting from the dock of the bay
Watching poo scum floating away
Ten thousand miles from home
Just to make some salty brown foam ...

(Help me here, Gator)

Peace on the Poop Pier. OR.

I am guessing from the story that all chunks were floaters?

Thank you Pooqueen. I'm humble.

Shitting on the dock of the bay,
Passin' some sli-iiii-iime.............

woof.

crap remix 2,
I don't know if you thought about this, but fish don't use toilets, they swim in one.
And, if you didn't know this, in North Carolina especially, the problems aren't human poop, it's the totally illegal and depressing amount of pig shit that is pumped into the rivers.
This is honestly one of the reasons I don't eat meat. The amount of water and antibiotics used for livestock, and the amount of poop they produce, is totally ridiculous. NO ecologist can eat meat every day.

Thanks for the comments. A friend who was there read this and reminded me that he took some photos of the act. There goes my run for office.

and we wonder why all the fish are dying in the ocean. but when nature calls ass sphincters answer

Gives new meaning to fish doody!

On the Costa del Sol, my buddy Roser waded out into the surf to take an urgent crap (all that dee-licious Sangria..). He accomplished his business, but didn't realize the tide was coming in, so his turds chased him all the way to shore while he screamed and flailed around, trying in vain to get away from them.
Great story, Crapmonster!

being a redneck girl we swim in a creek. one day i hadda crap, so i let it hang over the bank and fired away. everyone had a good laugh when that fish came round for a shitty nibble!

Dude, that totally made me wanna shit from laughin so damn hard. Shit skiing rocks!

I call this a "brown shark". Everyone who spends time on small boats has to release a brown shark at some point in time. It is even funnier when you are tied up to a bunch of other boats, and the captain's log floats past everyone else.

Great story.

Didn't you know that poop is not a good choice of bait. I am not surprised that you didn't catch anything that day.
_______
A man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.