What I think is interesting is in the 8th paragraph: "every once in a while, this happens to me." How many near-self shittings have you had?

Just play it safe from now on...only fart when you are over a toilet or at the very least in your own home.

"It is truly a confused man who cannot tell if he's going to shit a river or just "float a biscuit"."

Testeclees, 200 B.C.

You'd think you would learn after the first time.

THAT is some funny "shit" HAHAHA that gave me a good laff! Thanks! Oh, yea try not to push too hard when you fart, perhaps subconciously you WANT to shit yerself? LOL

I think that there may be something wrong with your butt... Why can't you tell the difference between a fart and diarrhea? Perhaps you should sit on a toilet when ever you feel the need to fart... You can never be too careful.

And no one replied to my one post about guys and pooping, under the pooping in the office story... I would really like to know...

I responded... (it's this story: http://www.poopreport.com/Office/Content/sacred.html)

That was the funniest thing i've heard in my intire life!

I have never had this happen, although a few times I have checked my drawers to make sure.

Dude, that's hiliarious. I was BAG (Busting a Gut) when I read that.

My biggest accident was similar to that. I knew I really had to poop, but was able to fart a few times, and relieve the pressure, trying to push it into my pants. Then on about the fifth fart, it wasn't gas. Infact, it was a huge load of soft messy poop. I was around 7 or 8 at the time. I tried to hide what I'd done, and dump my pants in the toilet, but a lot of it stayed on my bottom and in my pants.

O MY GOD!!!!! that must be so embaressing for you how did U survive the humiliation

lmao... that sux that that happens to you but, as Dave said wisely, "How many near-self shittings have you had?" lolololol . When i was in 3rd grade on Christmas... violently sick; shat on one bed then puked on 'nother. True poo moments in life :P

OMFG thats some funny fuckin shit man... next time your gonna fart just push it hard as you fuckin can .. that means if it is the sloppy shit it wont be a little insignificant one ... GO BIG and blow your pants apart.. hopefully in a packed mall or sumthin... DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've done that before. I was on a field trip in 8th grade at an art museum and the teacher would not let me go to the bathroom. I really had to take a poop. I thought I would release a bit of gas to let the pressure go. This girl that doesn't like me heard me fart and she saw me squirming, until I couldn't hold it anymore and let loose in my panties. It was one of those huge, soft, warm, gooey poops, oh but it felt good. I looked around to see who was looking at me. She looked me directly in the eyes as I finished. I looked away for a second and when I turned around she was gone. She snuck up behind me and when i turned to walk she steped on my skirt and pulled it down. Then Shouted loud and clear "EEEWWWW! She pooped he pants." I was so embaressed I started to cry and run away but tripped ovr my skirt and fell right on my ass. You thought yours was bad at least happened with your mom and nobody else. Although I guess she has a good story to tel if you ever make her mad.

p.s. you guys: i am single and if any of you want to get to know mw better, just email me. i will be witing for you

That is sick, but funny! can we say problems! I can't believe you people would actually expose your most embaressing moments like that. Do you enjoy it or something?

Yeh heres another one , we were about 14 me and two friends walking through a football field, some local girls we knew went by and my friend ran in front of them to moon them his ass, when he pulled his jeans down his ass was completely covered in the same type of shit you my friend have just described, only quite hard and crusty looking, like it had been there a while , he must have your problem but forgot about it,

I really hate it when, like you, I have to fart and out comes a squidgy bit of brown. It feels suspiciously warm and moist so I dab at my ass and it's got diarea on it! Thanfully, it's only happened twice and only about a teaspoon comes out, but I still have to shower afterward!

I was in a busy shopping mall and felt full of gas. I thought I'd shock everyone around by doing this huge fart. I let it go and I was so shocked. Diarrhoea cascaded into my boxers and down the inside of both legs of my jeans! There was so much it got into my shoes and socks and made a brown pool where I was standing. There was no way I could clean up other than by going for my car and driving home for a shower. It was really embarrasing. I love to shit in my underpants on purpose sometimes, but I usually wear briefs when I choose to do so. I would never have farted if I'd known what was going to happen, especially with boxers on which hold nothing!

I WAS NEW AT THIS ONE SCHOOL AND I WAS AT A POOL PARTY THE "POPULARS" JUST LET ME IN THERE GANG AND WE DECIDED TO GO SWIMMING ALL OF A SUDDEN I LET A FART SLIP OUT AND IT SEEMED TO BE DIARHEA [THE HOT GOOEY KIND]AND IT SPREAD ALL OVER THE POPULAR GIRLS BRAND NEW POOL IT ALSO SPREAD ALL OVER HER FACE AND HAIR SHE OBVIOUSLY DIDNT LET ME BACK IN THE GANG I WAS SOOOOO EMBARESSED I STILL AM EVER THIS DAY!!!

ONE DAY I WENT TO A BRITTNEY SPEARS CONCERT AND SHE CALLED ME UP ON STAGE AND ON ACCIDENTALY I TWIRLD WITH HAPPINESS AND WITHOUT KNOWING I LET OUT A DIARHEA FART AND IT WENT DOWN MY LEG AND ALLOVER THE STAGE AND BRITNEY SLIPED ON MY OWN POOP THE WHOLE AUDIENCE STARTED LAUGHING HISTERICALLY THAT WAS THE MOST EMBARASSING MOMENT EVER ILL NEVER GO TO A BRITNEY SPEARS CONCERT EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ONE HOT CRISP DAY I WAS PLAYING SOFTBALL WITH SOME FRIENDS IT WAS ONE OF THE HOTTEST DAYS IN THAT SUMMER I WAS UP AT BAT I HIT THE BALL OUT OF THE PARK I LET OUT A FART IT SMELT REALLY BAD! BUT AS EVERYONE DOES THEY PRETEND IT WASNT THEM LATER ON I WAS RUNNING FROM 1ST BASE TO SECOND WHEN A REALLY LOUD WET FART THAT I LET OUT I WENT DOWN TO FEEL MY BUTT TO SEE IF ANYTHING WAS THERE A LITTLE BIT BUT I COULD LIVE WITH IT BUT I REALIZED THERE WAS ALOT MORE AT THE BOTTOM OF MY FEETI RAN TO MY MOM CRYING I WENT HOME AND NEVER WENT TO ANOTHER SOFTBALL PRACTICE EVER AGAIN !!!

one day i went to the fashion bug and they wanted me to be in there fasshion show and i said sure i picked out all my outfits we were on the last outfit the evening gown and i was half way down the run way when i absoulutley needed to let a small fart slip but it was louder and more waterey than i expected my dress was once white but then in three seconds it was a waterey brown and a man said uhh then all the veiwers looked at my back partof my dress i never ever wanted to do a fashion show at fashion bug again i'd be too embaressed to go back

one day i was going to school in a happy mood because it was the prom day i went to school dressed handsomely i wore white jeans and a nice shirt but before i went to school i had warm baked cookies that my mom had just maked but obviously they didnt settle in my stmach correctly later on at the prom i was dacing with my girlfriend and i got a little out of hand aand did a sharp turn little did i no that it was a diarhea fart my brother stephen told me so i ran home and scince no one was home the doors were locked so i went in the garage ans took my jeans off but then my sister heard me because she was in the house she let me so , meanwhile i went upstairs to my room amd i changed and i was not embarresed to go back ! i was brave and some advice go back even if u are embarresed cause u get to keep the girls/boys!! lol

one day early morning i got a call stating if i was a loud to come over and we could have a sleepover i said hold please and i went down stairs and asked my mom said no so i went back upstairs and said sorry, later on my mom took me some place for a surprise movie the first screening of 8 mile it was a good movie but at the end there was a big surprise eminem walked out on the floor to and gave us the best consert at the end i went to get his autograph and when he was signing mine i let out a small fart eminem kinda gave me a disgusting look i cant blame him because it was going down my pants i ran to my mom and we went home of course i cried the whole night the end

listen that story was gross but get this, a day when all my friends from highschool were comin over to my house and havin a sleepover. when all my friends arrived and it was 4:00 clock in the mornin we chose to go to bed meanwhile in the mornin i found a wet brown gooey / crusty near my butt! that is not a happy feelin its a emarasing feelin!!!! i told everyone to call home and tell there parents to pick them up. when everyone left i told my mom she took me to the docters and it seemed i had a virus~~!

yo! one day in 8th grade i was in home room and i really had to go to the bathroom [ i had been havin stomach problems] so i raised my hand to go she said "no" meanwhile i was squirming in my seat my friend looked at me and asked " dude r u ok?" yeah i answered i couldnt hold it any longer i got up ran out of the classroom and when i reached a toilet nottin came out even if i pushed out as hard as i could nottin but i still had a problem there was a wet brown chunky poop at the back of my pants so as i walked back to class i realized y there was poop at the back of my pants! it was all over the floor in puddles in little spots all the way back to home room so i went and i got a janintor to clean the mess up

i was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo embarresed!!

ill never 4get it

those stories r sooo disgustin just like smart [o m gosh] said do u enjoy tellin those stories?

love u're sexiest janet m.

all i have to say is disgusting stff !

one day in july i was at the beach, with my girlfriend she is soooo pretty! her name is hailie. on the beach i had to go to the bathroom so my mom told me to go in the ocean but i told i had to "go" u're not walking all the way back to the hotel so i endd up goin in the ocean! i didnt no i was goin to have diarhea but i had to do what i had to do. i headed out of the water 'bout an hour later my girlfriend asked where i have been i said in the water. okay,she said. but then she looked at the back of my bathing suit she said "dont move u have a brown jellyfish on u're behin" so i went to get it it was mushy and it was brown thats when i realized i pooped in my pants! ummm.... r u sure thats a jellyfish i asked her well what else could it b ? she asked.i think i sat in poo!who would b sooo stupid that they had to go diarhea in the ocean? i admit it i said "what i really had to go"! i told her and she started cracking up.i was soooooooooooooooooooo emarresed!!

tommy boy J. !!!!!!!!!!!! LOLLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

LISTEN I HAVE NEVER POOED MYSELF [ BESIDES WHEN I WAS A BABY] I HTINK ALL THOSE STORIES R SOOOOOOO DISGUSTING EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEE!!!!!

I AM SOOOOOOOO COOL CAUSE I HAVE NEVER POOPED MYSELF SCINCE PRE-SCHOOL SOME OF U PEEPS R IN 8TH GRDE THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL

HI I AM SARA I HAVE TO ADMIT THOSE STORIES R SOOOO DOSGUSTING BUT DONT FEEL BAD CAUSE WERE LAUGHING WITH U NOT AT U

SWEETIE PIE,

SARA S.

The funny thing is that the last 14 comments were from the same person. What gives it away? Is it the same email addresses without a server? "Coolio" "hottie"? Having numbers in the name? The all capitals? Slang? all of them beginning with "one day"? 2 of them dealing with shitting infront of a pop music star? Ending with "I was sooooooooooo embarrased" or "I will never go to a _____ ever again" Who knows. And who wears jeans to the prom?

Whilst my tale doesn't exactly have a direct connexion to crap, it's relevant because my mates thought it involved it! I was the man wearing my new WHITE jeans to class a few weeks ago. Expecting the usual teasing that comes with wearing white jeans, I just ignored their comments and continued to strut around in my white jeans confident I'd be able to keep them white.

Thinking I had survived the teasing, I was sitting in the cafeteria for lunch (hamburgers with baked beans) making sure I didn't drip anything on my new white jeans. Thinking that the teasing craze over my white jeans had finally ended, I got up to get something from my backpack. One of the guys behind me carefully placed a couple of spoonsful of the baked beans right in the middle of my chair. Not noticing I plopped the seat of my white jeans right into the slop! Finished eating, carefully looked over the front of my white jeans that were still spotless, got up, slung my back pack over my shoulder and walked out proudly thinking my white jeans had survived the first half of the day. Needless to say, the beans and brownish sauce stain on my new white jeans turned a few heads that day. I did eventually find out about the mess on my white jeans about an hour afterward, but I had no other clothes with me to change. The moral is guys: if you're going to wear white jeans, watch where you sit!

Ian

ONE DAY I WALKED INTO MISS KARABIN'S CLASS I WAS TALKING TO HER ABOUT THE PLAY I AM IN AND THEN THE REST OF THE CLASS WALKED IN THEN I LET A FARTO SLIPPO THROUGH MY NEW PANTS IT WAS A LIQUID WITH CHUNKS KIND OF FART "YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN" THE WHOLE CLASS LOOKED AT ME AND STARTED LAUGHING HISTERICLY I STARTED TO CRY THATS THE END OH YEA I LIKE SHANNON

LIKE THIS ONE DAY I LIKE WENT TO THE HAIR DRESSERS AND WENT TO GET A HAIR CUT AND WHEN I WAS LIKE GONE I LIKE WENT TO THIS PARTY "LIKE A REALLY COOL ONE" AND LIKE THEY LIKE IMBARRESED ME BY LIKE SAYING HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AND I SAID SHUT UP AND MY FRIEND TOLD ME I POOPED IN LIKE MY PANT IT WAS LIKE FUNNY BUH BYE NOW

whats up you all

hey jhon listen those r family members and all those stories r true!!!! anyway i have a story {hi shannon}anyways i was with my friend shannon my girlfriend she and i were at a highskool party and the bathroom was tooken 4 like over an hour we really needed a space to our selves we found a spot so while ..... i thought she is my girlfriend shes heard me faret so i let one out i was wearin shorts and the chunke green stuff started drippin threw i was so embarresed!! i ran home and never saw shannon again. jhon did that end in those sentences?? but then i went 2 her house and dhe found another boy that broke my heart

hey shannon i wanna play with u so bad!!!!!

hey i m a nerd in my skool and this is the first time i think another person or ppl r sooooooooooooooo sick!!

hey tALK to U PPL LATER

on day i wanted to play a gag wiht it and it was mean very mean duhdondah lololollolololololololooloololololololol you ppl r so stupid

well i am disgusted with all those stories!! u ppl r sick! bastards . lol

I have no pigment...I need sunscreeeen! .......Sunshine burns my corneas. I can no longer seeee.... Im not kidding someone please fucking help meeeee!~hippie elbino chick with a guitar~

Don't be afraid!

One time, in school, I got a bad virus and had to go to the bathroom evry hour; the only problem was that in the middle of the lesson one boy pissed his pants, starting to cry, and I laughed harder and harder: I was laughing so hard that I pooped my pants and now they weren't still yellow, but brown and wet!

I was so embarassed that I stayed at home for a week!

I pooed my pants from 5 to 17 and usually at school.

No big deal we get over it.

Strippers shit their g-strings too! I've never had the experience of crapping on a customer (unfortunatly), but I have farted on a guy by accident while giving a lap-dance. I wasn't quite sure if I ripped one or not, but when I turned around and took a whiff to check it out, hoowooo! toxic! I guess we both just played it off like nothing happened. The guy ended up spending $300, and he gave me $100 tip. Crazy Huh! As for soiling the thong, here's a story. I was waiting for my man to come over and I was wearing some DaisyDukes and a halter. I had taken a nice hot bubble bath, rubbed my body down from head to toe with stawberries and champaign V-Secret lotion...parfumed,soft,sexy, and ready to get the night started. I start washing dishes to kill time, and the urge to fart comes on. Well better let it out now, so I don't knock my man out later, (i'm just a sweet and thoughtful person, I know!). So not holding back, I just push to let out the maximum. Oh shit! No I didn't. Oh yes I did! Crap, it's gonna start running down my leg. So i "run" to the bathroom (with caution), I stand myself in the bathtub and peel off my shorts. Ladies and genleman, I did not cry, for this is not the first time that this has happened. And probably not the last. So he should be here any minute, and I have to frantically re-shower from the waist down, and get find something else to wear before he shows up. Might I add that I'm not really embarrased, I'm more amussed if anything, thinking to myself, "Where did I go wrong? Was it something I ate?" (is that wrong?). My mission now is to not kill the mood, you know. Well time was on my side, and I managed it well. It was my little secret, or was it...! Anyone who knows me, knows that I keep it real, and if I've got an interesting story to tell I'm gonna tell it, especially cause I can get away with it--I'm sexy, beautiful, intelligent, and funny. My man loves me cause I can keep him satisfied, but I can also make him laugh. Thank God for sick humor! Sweet dreams.

oops, forgot to put my email out there. Coward!? yah right!

ays keep clean underwear

Wow...what stories. I find myself thinking that there are some sick people in this world. Thank god I found this webpage! Cuz Lord knows I love bathroom humor. Lmfao I hate that y'all shit yer self but damn...LMAO good stories, and good times eh? And you know, farts are really only two terds drag racing.

Ignoring the stupid "one day" stories by a junior high school delinquint, I feel for you Robert. Kids seem to have a lot of those types of accidents.

When I was five I caught the stomach flu and had a horrible care of diarrhea. During the night I discovered my illness I let a fart and all this diarrhea came out.

I was too embarassed to tell anyone so I wiped my ass on my baby blanket. (Yes, I still carried a baby blanket at five! Don't laugh!) With my childish wisdom I grew upset that there was shit on my baby blanket, so I started crying. Mom came to the rescue. She washed the blanket and reassured me that this has happened to a lot of people.

Later I became paranoid about these types of farts. I hate those "wet" farts that are really hot and feel like shit, but they aren't. I always end up going to the bathroom scrunching my cheeks together to avoid dropping shit, only to find nothing in my pants. Ugh!

one time i was watching a movie w/ ma boy frend in ma room... well all of a sudden i felt a need to fart i started to laugh he asked wut was so funni so i told him he started to laugh and told me that if i wanted to i cood so i did but not onli did i fart i did diareah it went everywhere and rele smeeled i felt so embarassed i had nothing else to do except laugh so i did.. then all of a sudden i heard a huge fart but i didnt do it.. he looked at me and started laughiung then we jus lied there in the bed that smelled and was full of diareahh... now we always fart togather

yeah that happens to me too. Try cleaning the bed spread after a bad accident. This warm weather gets me everytime. I can't seem to get the smell out of my a/c unit.

I think I just discovered the world-wide-repository of "I shit my pants" testimonials.

I shit my pants once too. Well, more than once.