I just finished exploding in my toilet.

Valiant effort. Some entertaining moments lost due to lack of going beyond the first draft.

Don't catfish eat shit?

man that would piss me off if someone was throwing rocks at me when I was trying to drop a deuce

I enjoyed this, Svendowney. It had the feel of a two-man, off-Broadway play or the script of an Indy film at Sundance. I even liked your conclusion. Wonder who in Hollywood would be ideal to play these two parts? I think it would take the light touch: I nominate Jim Carrey for Alex and Adam Sandler for you.

Yeah, your friend Alex sounds like a dick. That's okay though. Guys need a friend who's a real dick like that sometimes.

i did that on a hill then people saw me

Um, hello? Where's the story?

I like the idea of the story although it was a bit of a tough read due to how it was written. I think it was written in more of a conversational way instead of the normal way we see things on PR.

Good story none the less. If my buddy threw rocks at me while I was crapping, I'd slap him in the face with wiping hand.

I agree with Marcos. If the fucker was throwing rocks at you he deserved to accidentally wipe with poison oak.

My read of Alex is not that he's developed some "ritualistic fetish," but that he's reveling in a new sense of freedom -- In the woods, he no longer needs any special equipment. But I do find myself wondering why you have taken to carrying around toilet paper for him. Is it your truck you drive out there in?

Hey everybody! I just painted the bowl with ass chili!!!

So. What.

This report was pretty slapdash and needs some revision in the way of rising/falling plot. You almost tricked me into believing something might HAPPEN.

Why is your cousin asking when you're going home a "stupid question"? I've been fishing and stayed after dark numerous time.

You could have left out about 20 lines of pointless dialogue without any impact to this story. Except it would be marginally more interesting. Maybe.

Don't hold your breath waiting for a response from Reader's Digest if you're considering submitting this stagnant, floating turd of a tale, the most exciting element of which was an errant grass blade escaping from your cousin's trousers.

I just fed the toilet a big meal. I had to go since early afternoon, didn't really feel like using the dirty port-a-johns at work. I respect my young ass more than that! Good thing I bought a bathroom plunger last weekend. It got it's first workout today.

Poor thing.

Construction Worker - TOILETS can get constipated as well as human beings.

That was a let down.

Here is an outdoor poop story worth reading.

My friend Ben and I used to go camping on his father's land, when we were younger. Some where around 1986, we went with a bunch of our friends. I was the resident druggy at the time, so it was up to me to bring the pot and what ever else I could scrounge up. What I scrounged up, was some acid. Alot of the friends that came along, were Young Life types. So, Ben and I were the only two to take the acid. I don't think I had ever done hallucinogens in the woods before. It was a great experience. There was grazing land around there, so we communed with the cows and decided that they were buddhists. I spent about an hour under a tree that had caterpillars raining down from it. I covered myself with them and revelled in the feeling of life squirming all over me. As the day turned to night, the acid got a little less intense and our crazy day became more relaxed. We joined our friends at the camp fire and extolled the virtues of LSD to our unreceptive audience. We ate sausges and bread until we felt satiated. As the twilight turned to star light, Ben and I decided that we had to take a shit. Being some thing of a shameful shitter at the time, I was prepared to go in to the woods and hide my foulness from the rest of the world. Ben would have nothing of it. He insisted that we shit under the stars. We hiked for a bit until finding a lovely pasture with a few cows in it. The star light was amazing. The grass seemed to glow and the cows seemed more zen-like than before. We had selected our smooth rocks for wiping and we each dropped trou and squatted about 2 yards from each other. The pressure in my bowels was immediately released, when two firm logs breached and plopped on to the ground. There was no sound to take away from the crickets and cow munching. I turned my head toward Ben, to see that he had a huge grin on his face. Just behind him was a cow. I noticed that she was dropping some plops at the same time. Ben turns to me and says "Sam, I've never done exstasy but I bet it is a lot like taking a shit on acid in a field with zen-cows".

Having done extasy before, I said "No, Ben. This is much better".

SamDamnt!:

Thats deep.

Perhaps I will submit it, but they did not accept my last one, which I thought was pretty good.

SamDamnit: What a shame to waste that story in the comments section. You were right it was much better than the posted story. WEll told, funny, nostalgic, and almost touching (amazing for a shit story!). Keep writing, and keep submitting!

Thank you, Donald. That is encouraging. I am a big fan of this site and most of the writers that are on it.

i actually kind of liked the conversational style of the story. i could picture the dialogue between the writer and his cousin, and it made me giggle. oh well. diffrent strokes, eh?

i also liked your story, samdamnit! especially the zen cows.

Samdamnit, I am curious. Where did you think of your name? I laugh every time I see it.

I have a tendency to get kicked off of the "myspace" social networking site. After the second time, I came back angry and used my name as a statement. Being the sort of cranky bastard that I am, it seemed to suit me. Now people that I know in real life call me that.

wow!.. i fricking love this site... you people are awesome!

That's great! Knew there was a good story behind that one. Thanks for sharing, Samdamnit.

Samdamnit, sounds good. I've never done acid before but have done MDMA a few times with very pelasing results. I have also tripped on mushrooms 3 times, hard, whew! but acid sounds like a good balance between the two. Good acid that is. I know full well the impact surroundings play on perceived experience, and crapping with the cows must have been very good. Alas, all my shroom hunting trips I had to be wary of the asshole bull in the field.
X is good in moderation, as are all things. good poop story, I give it 5 wipes!

I feel sort of bad for posting my own story in the comments for some one elses, but the title made me think of my own experience and I felt some what let down by the original story. I have submitted mine to Dave and I think it may get posted as a featured story. If and when that happens, I am sure that I will get plenty of negative reviews. Perhaps Svendowney can post a better story in my comments. I must say that I am thrilled at the idea of having my story posted in the same place as my favorite poop reporters. I have become a big fan of this site and check it every day.

Hey I'm from the Burgh too! Great reading a story from my neck of the woods

let me know when i should laugh.

Its a small world isn't it? I live about 2 miles from that lake. thats the one on North Spring Valley road... LOL ive fished there for years and we used to party out there long ago, before they made a park out of it, you could drive your car on that old road/trail. I have taken quite a few dumps out there as well as drank many beers. Nice story, it brings back lots of memories.