poopreport : Stories About Poop :

oxypowder

Pooper or Plastic?

Posted 08.20.2001 by Melly (63)

Once I lived in an apartment with two other girls. We threw a big party one night and some drunk idiot managed to clog the toilet with God knows what. So until the plumber came we couldn't really use the toilet.

Well, that is just fine for my two roommates... one was almost always constipated, and the other one was mildly regular. But I shit every day, so this was a nightmare for me.

We didn't know any of our neighbors very well (except for the two creepy guys that were always trying to give us massages) so I was stuck.

Well, that night I just broke down. I decided to take action. I got a plastic Walgreens bag, made sure it had no holes in it, and tromped into the bathroom. Praying this was going to be a solid one, I placed the open bag in the bathtub and squatted over it.

It wasn't so bad, pooping in a bag... until the smell hit me. The poo was in the open air instead of dropping into water. It was vile and there was no escape until the poo was over.

My roommates were in the kitchen waiting for the outcome, laughing their asses off because they could hear the poop hitting the plastic bag (the bathroom door was in the kitchen). It was even worse when I walked out of the bathroom triumphantly holding the plastic bag of poop. They didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that I had just pooped in a bag or to retch from the unholy smell that followed me into the kitchen.
-- Melly

doniker (1534) -- 08.20.2001

I never knew any women who were so open about their eliminations....all the woman I know act as if they don't shit....

Hillbilly (42) -- 08.20.2001

Ive crapped in a five gallon bucket before.

Melly (63) -- 08.22.2001

I just don't see why you should hide it, you know? I mean, you don't have to announce everytime you go, but I figure being a little open about stupid things like that makes life a little better.

Dave (11657) -- 08.23.2001

Doniker --- did you read this article? http://www.poopreport.com/Stories/Content/yougo.html

Dark Poo (not verified) -- 09.22.2001

I was just wondering, why didn't you go to, say, a coffee store or something in order to use the public washrooms?

Hillbilly (42) -- 09.23.2001

Sometimes you dont have time to walk some where and then you have to do what you gotta to to get the job done....whether in a five gallon bucket or a walgreens bag.

Dark Poo (not verified) -- 09.23.2001

You could have gone before it got to bad...

Brittany (not verified) -- 10.20.2001

one of my friends pooped in a bag because the water in the place got shut off! it was so funny, cuz afterwards he through the bag out the window from the second floor!

hillrod (not verified) -- 11.03.2001

what did you do with the crap bag?

HcValvoja (not verified) -- 11.30.2001

For Finnish poo-story in homokaasu.org please see(a must if you speak Finnish, err... read):

http://www.homokaasu.org/tarina/story.asp?ID=2

Anyhow this didn't sound too bizarre story. Good enough, in a way, and had other persons having fun/wondering whether to have fun, so all-in-all I'd say a pretty package (not to imply to the plastic bag's contents in any way).

chadikus (not verified) -- 12.21.2001

GOOD USE OF RECOURCES, i would shit in a bag if i had to , it is to awkward to shit in some place you dont feel compfortable, so if you gotta go, you gotta go

Brother Numsy (not verified) -- 01.16.2002

I pooped in a coffee cup and placed it next to a coffee machine in the lobby of a 5 star hotel. It was most sickening yet hilarious to watch everyone elses reaction. People were frekin' out about the smell. Thats when we had evryone we could poop in a bag at 5 seperate times. These bags were placed in the elevators. Its now a 5 poop hotel

toddy numsy (not verified) -- 01.18.2002

i was there it was fckn hilarious

sista numsey (not verified) -- 01.18.2002

i think i was simultaneously having sex & sleeping when it happened, but damn was it stinky!

The Mad Bomber (not verified) -- 01.18.2002

Every elevator seemed to have a bag of poop in it. it was unreal that much shit in an elevator going up and down all night. It must have been leaking out of the bag. I wonder how many buisness conferences weere cancelled due to the poop. The mad bomber lives and Brother Numsy poops on. There was a line to the stairs, and the place stunk like a septic tank. wheeeeeooohhhwweeeee!

Mama Numsy (not verified) -- 01.19.2002

I too witnessed the poop-a-thon at the hotel. I personally couldn't poop in a bag, but I did act as an assisstant to the pooping. When my partner was squatting over the coffee cup he planned to place in the hotel lobby, I held his butt cheeks in line with the cup, so he wouldn't poop on the table. I got a first hand, up-close-and personal view of the poop as he squeezed it out. It was and experience I won't soon forget!

Deepshit Noeshit, Holieshit Fullashit, Dumbshit Dipshit, Lod (not verified) -- 01.19.2002

All I know is... I really feel the need to take a humungus dump just listening to this story. You are sick! What is wrong with you! Why would you waste a good bag of poop like that? I am a multi star poop, lookin' for poop in all the right places!!!!!!!
I love this site man. You RULE!

Dicky Boner (not verified) -- 01.19.2002

Oh I can't belive this at all. I can't believe you! Oh you aughtta just....Well i forget what you should do. You should just ....Oh no! I forgot again??%$#@%^$#@
Ah It must have been the poop. Thats what the germans said after a ride on the 5 star poopevator! The Japanese were much more funny. Huddled against one side on the poopevator choking. Before the door opened, they Felt the power of the NUMSY ! Why you do that?

o (not verified) -- 01.19.2002

O

cuppis (not verified) -- 01.19.2002

oh! thats nothing,unrelated, butt funny,like being stuck between my nut and a brown place. this is the story of CUPPIS. once apon a time there was this happy go lucky calf swinging guy who took his friend with him to hang out at the hotsprings and relax, but while Macaferrty's balls glistened in the sunlight and the steam waffting off was just too much for his freind. so Shadey crept ever so slowly and carefully toward the prize,with the eye of the tiger. As he got within range, he carefully and quickly found perfect alignment,and coordinated his tractor beam-lock on.Shadey's both hands were now together in form of a cup were as he CUPPED Macaferrty's nadz and held them up to the Gods screaming @#$%^* which translates into-oh i cant even believe this. and so CUPPIS WAS BORN INTO THIS WORLD

The Numsynator (not verified) -- 01.20.2002

Alright cuppis, what the HELL does nad cupping have to do with POOP?! This is a site about poop, get it?! Let's stick to the subject matter, this is serious business here. Unless the cup in question is a cup o' poop!!!

ottis (not verified) -- 01.20.2002

sizzler!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Billopa (not verified) -- 01.24.2002

I need a real good beating ASAP. Please kick my ass till the poop pours out my ass!

tippy todd (not verified) -- 02.07.2002

Tippy Todd was a Toddy, Tippy Todd Touches himself. Toddy went a courtin' he did stroke, n,n,n,n,n,nno bone.

o (not verified) -- 04.19.2002

http://tomandjerrycartoons.com/tjsounds.html go this link and find crambone!

alicia (not verified) -- 05.26.2002

My friends and i are all really into poop. we dont touch it or anything but we send eachother poop postcards and once my friend asked me if we wanted to disect her poop!

another hil;lbilly (not verified) -- 10.15.2002

i want that bag, can i have it?

April Toddy (not verified) -- 10.14.2003

I'm a good lookin bitch that likes to shit alot, then make my man eat my cunt!

The Shit Volcano (3740) -- 10.04.2004

Whoa! The maturity ship has sailed here.

Anyway, I have never had to poop in a bag, fortunately. If it was an emergency I might consider it. The closest I've come is shitting in an out of order toilet.

Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 11.03.2005

i feel like i have to shit

DungDaddy (1386) -- 09.15.2006

At least Melly came up with a viable solution.

P. Dookey (not verified) -- 12.21.2006

What's wrong with a little shizzle in a plastic badizzle? P to the double dung P ma' beyotch.

Miss Simone Scat (570) -- 08.21.2007

WOW...there were some really starnge people posting in the beginning of PR.
Producing waste since 1967

Frank2401 (190) -- 08.21.2007

Hi, MSS, starnge? Is that some sort of color?

Hamster (581) -- 08.21.2007

Frank - I think the sort of colour that walls in Government Buildings are painted.

Leaving the starnge people aside, I do like this story! Very simple, visual and believable!!

The Thunderous ... (710) -- 08.21.2007

Its nice to see women who arent afraid to poo in dire circumstances and then to be able to laugh about it. KUDOS girls!
_______
The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

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