Damn, what did I miss?

BTW, I'm sure that caused a few nightmares later on. I know I'd probably dream about a ton of crap falling on me...

I believe that the sixth sign of the apocalypse is feces falling from the sky. When I go to the gym and lift my massive amounts of weight, I usually only have to worry about a deuce explosion from down below. Now, I will be afraid of an attack from the heavens or via my own crap submarine. First post rules.

Damn. Second post is not nearly as sweet. My neck grows fatter and angrier.

homophobes do rules as do fag haters.

after some thought it bothers me that Dave edited this story after it was posted just to satisfy one certain PoopReporter.

It's Dave's site and he will do as he pleases...but there is just something about this whole thing that rubs me the wrong way.

I have a really decent stairstepper and free weights at home. Now, I am glad for this. However, in MY own little mean-spiritedness, I could think of few people I'd like to see drown in that sea. I posted a story about one of them in the PeeReports last night. But, as we all recall from the mongol story, "I am not a hater". Repeat, I am not a hater. (well, just a little).

My oh my, Fartist, did it smell really bad? Must have been a sight.

I can't believe Dave deleted my comment in support of homophobes. Homophobes rule!

The Big Wiper's first deletion....I'm marking this day on my calender!!

The important thing, doniker, is the deletion of the offending passage in the article. I am proud to be the impetus for that. Regards.

I don't know. when I first read it I found NOTHING that I feel would have offended any group of people.
But then again I am not easily offended and have negative thoughts about everything and everybody.

In the interest of maintaining the atmosphere of inclusion and poonity that PoopReport strives to achieve, I've removed the controversial passage as well as all statements both for and against. Offense and controversy are both antithetical to what PoopReport is about.

I too really want to know what it originally said, now this is REALLY going to bother me (not knowing what all the controversy is about), along with the fear of working out in gyms that are being renovated....

hey bitches....you got to be plugged into PoopReport 24/7 and be a loser with no life to catch everything.....sorry you missed this

Well, then I'm lost, loser, losing.

Move over Doniker, there's gotta' be room in the Audio Visual, Dungeons and Dragons club for Trekkies for me. Now, I really sound like a hater. Dammit.

OK, it was a joke, I like videos, role playing games, and I think the original Star Trek kicked ass. There.

hey e'rybody. if you want to know what was omitted, i will be happy to forward the story to you. personally, i was not trying to offens anyone of the homosexual persuasion. i hear women complain about guys who stare at them and make them uncomfortable. i feel the same way when a man stares at me with bulging eyes and is constantly trying to make eye contact. so, if this offends you, good. now you know how i feel. oh, by the way, if you send me an e-mail in regards to the original copy, put something in the subject line so i don't think you are a spammer. p.s. thanks for playing FCC on my story Dave!!!

sorry for all the typos. i was a little emotional.

Not only the way one of those fellas stare at you but knowing what they want to do with you anyway I'm new and my opinion is not important, good story.

Man, you guys have no idea what it's like to be a chick with hooters. No idea at all.

Try being looked at all day by some yahoo who thinks I'm here just for him. Now, a good question is have any of you homophobes ever stared at a woman so much she was uncomfortable?

Now you know.

Yea daphne, but alot of chicks also enjoy showing off there bodies and love the attention as well as using sexuality for personal gain.

A chick putting her cleavage in a man's face can sometimes make the most level headed guy start thinking with his weiner.

Note to self: refrain from homosexual content in future stories.

This is a sad day in PoopReport history. First its PoopReport, next its Howard Stern.

More like The Big Whiner.

Doniker, I'm not referring to the "look at me, I'm in spandex, baby" type of activity, although you have a DEFINITE point, I'm talking about just existing, period. You must remember, we all don't live for men's attention. Weird, but seriously true.

The only person who gets cleavage action around here is Kurt, and his weiner is on full tilt anyway.

hey I admit I check out every woman for 18 to 60; there is always at least a 0.001% chance of getting laid!!

Boobs rule. 'Nuff said.

poop lagoon? cool let me get my bathing suit!!

Glad that TBW was able to get the offensive segment deleted. Although it may not seem offensive to the writer, there are certain angles of expression which can be construed as questionable.

I, also, don't like people ogling me especially at a gym where I am trying to pull 215 lbs. on the abdominal machine. It's called socially gauche, but need not be an avenue to be interpreted as hostile to anyone.

well i enjoyed the story, but not the comments, lol, as they referred to a different story which i was not privvy to..... but as that story didn't seem to be about the fun pooping side of life then i feel i didn't miss much anyway. There are heaps of sites about 'politicians', 'homosexuals', 'how people look at me in the gym' lol... i'd just go visit them if i so wished, which i don't.

I used to ogle one guy at the Grafenwohr gym I nicknamed Mr. Candy Cane. He was this huge hunk of a Special Forces Ranger, and he wore these teeny tiny red and white striped hot skin tight spandex shorts.

I had a very hard time concentrating when he was in the free weight room when I was. I was the creepy ogler then. I just couldn't help myself.

well...good for you malicious pooper. i'm glad to see an expert give such a much-appreciated analysis of my commentary. the only editing dave did was to remove a paragraph he deemed offensive. if you are suggesting i'm an idiot:1. let's see your story, and 2. eat a dick!

Sorry about the delayed reaction... I just read this post today... Anyway, I just read "The Fartist"'s comment about how he didn't want to offend anybody blah blah blah... I noticed a big grammar change from the story to the comment... Dave, you must've had a hell of a time editing that!

Dear Fartist:

"Eat a dick" indeed! Is that your homophobic, self-hating phobia leaking outta your Id?

Peace in Psychosis. TH.

Fartist, I guess you're not one for critism, huh?

I guess we should all bow down in the presence of greatness, to he who is without judgement, to he who has defied the likes of Webster's literature, who is not to be questioned without the wrath as such pushishment as being told to..."eat a dick".

Look man, it's just a comment. Get over yourself.

Wow!!! I'm feelin' the love! Anyone else want to chime in with a little affection? Actually, I don't remember saying anything to either takes pubris or ass finger. I guess you've taken it upon yourself to defend your buddy? I'm sure he or she can speak for themselves. I only wish I had 3 dicks so you could all have a bite.
Oopps!I suppose I should make my comments more politically correct, lest I be permenantly branded as a homophobe. Jeez, I though people who visited this site generally had a shred of a sense of humor! I guess I should be a little more mature around someone with a serious name like ass phlegm. My sincere apologies!

First of all, that last sentence in your last comment made me laugh. For real, I had a chuckle! Score one for the Fartist.

Second, I'm not defending anyone. You will note that my COMMENT is in the COMMENT section. It seemed like the appropriate place for a COMMENT.

And as far as having a sense of humor, I thought TH's and my comments were pretty funny. Observationally funny. Of course, our contributions were not nearly as sophisticated as your, "eat a dick" quote. Maturity has nothing to do with it! It's content, man, content!

Come up with something better next time. Your kind has passed through here before and is now forgotten.

Am I being too serious? Ok, ummm...uh... let's see... wait a sec...EAT A DICK! hahahahahaha!

Sorry, I meant "second to last" sentence".

From now on, I will run everything by the eternal aaaaaass phphphlegm before I post it, for he is wise! I do, however, think "eat a dick" is funny, so I will use that one w/o permission.
Maybe when I've been around for as long as you guys, I'll really be funny! Until then, I'll just amuse myself and suffer the ridicule.

All you whiny little P.C. bitches need to chill out. You are all obiviously just jealous. You need to get laid (by a dude or chick or whatever you're into), take a big shit, and loosen up. The Fartist's stories are the funniest I've read since Barry Dingle's last post. He has taken poopology to the next level. I mean, "Encyclofecia Shittanica" (from a previous Fartist post)? That's absolutely brilliant. The Fartist is no homophobe, racist or anything else you might find offensive (unless you find shit and "no-no private parts" jokes offensive - if you're here then you probably don't). He is nothing if not a champion for gay and minority rights. He has gay friends...he has black friends...he sleeps with an Asian girl (good choice, btw)...hell, the best man at his wedding was a gay black man! I've heard him make comments about David Beckham's hot ass on a couple of occasions! The Gayzer IS REAL my friends! He is an annoying bastard. We're not talking about a situation where a guy see's a hot chick running on the treadmill and says "nice rack..I'd like to hit that..let me catch a glimpse", etc. I do it all the time. But the Gayzer will look you up and down and keep staring right at you even after you bust him. That's what he goes for - that is what he lives for. I don't mind dudes or chicks checking me out. I'm flattered. But the Gayzer takes it to a horrible extreme. Sort of like what televangelists and politicians did to Christianity. The Gayzer recieved his just desserts...which turned out to be several gallons of melted rocky road ice cream. If you want to change my comment, then change Gayzer to The Inappropriate Gawker or something. I don't care; it's the truth. And "the truth will set you free". That's something even you psycho, right-wing censorship supporters can understand. P.S. "Eat a dick" is funny - use it as a salutaion sometime.

I believe that comment is better than any of my stories. You, my friend, are a champion...no,no...a hero if I may.

The only worse gym experience I ever had was seeing a huge turd sitting in a urinal in the locker room john.

Censorship sucks.

Once again, you laughed me out of my chair, Fartist. Keep it up!

Not a bad story. I hate to rain on any PoopReporter's parade, but when you apply the lens of practicality to the metaphor "a thousand times the speed of evolution," well... that's still probably nowhere near approaching the speed at which paint dries.

That excercise bike could use a bumper sticker. This bike climed mount Flushmore.
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"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Goddamn. I was lame back in the day. Lame lame lame.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

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Logjam