On Thursday, My Doctor Stuck His Finger Up My Butt.

// // 135 Comments
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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On Tuesday I found blood in my poop.

It was pretty gross. I'm one of those guys that always looks in the toilet after pooping, I guess to admire my
handiwork. Tuesday I was greeted with a bright red streak that ran along each log, plus some floaty blood in the water. Pretty
gross. That was my morning poop. When the blood reoccurred during my afternoon poop, I called my mommy.

Mommy advised me to call the doctor. So I called the doctor. He asked if there were "copious" amounts of blood in my
stool. He defined "copious" to be "more than a cupful." When I responded negative, he said it was not a big deal
("perhaps just an internal hemorrhoid") and told me to come in for a rectal exam on Thursday.

On Wednesday there was no blood in my poop.

On Thursday morning was no blood in my poop.

On Thursday afternoon I went in for my rectal exam.

Since I'm young and in good health, and there wasn't copious amounts of blood, it probably wasn't colon cancer. But he
wanted to check out my nether regions, just to see what he could see.

I'll call him Dr. K. to protect his anonymity -- I wouldn't want my friends to know if I stuck my finger up his butt,
so I'll afford him equal courtesy.

The nurse took my blood pressure and temperature, and pronounced me fine. After she left, Dr. K. came in and had me
re-describe my problem to him. He listened, repeated his prediction that it wasn't anything major, and told me to drop
'em.

So I stood pantsless in front of Dr. K.

"Well, since you're here, I'm going to teach you how to check yourself for testicular cancer."

And so he did. Fellas, pay attention. We should be examining our testicles as often as girls exam their breasts. The
testicles, for those of you who don't know, are egg shaped, with nubs at the top and the bottom, and a tube that runs
down the length of it. So if you feel any other nubs or growths other than those I just mentioned, call your doctor.

Dr. K. looked me in the eye as he felt my left testicle followed by my right, pronouncing my testicles fit as a fiddle.
I was a bit scared that Little Dave would respond inappropriately -- hey, Little Dave has no eyes. I'm sure he thinks
that anyone touching down there must be doing it with my permission, and therefore in an amorous way. But fortunately,
Little Dave showed the proper restraint, and Dr. K. moved on.

After administering a hernia test ("turn your head and cough"), it was time.

"Turn around," said Dr. K.

I turned around.

"Put your elbows on the counter."

I put my elbows on the counter.

Dr. K. opened up a drawer in the counter and took out a tube of K.Y. Jelly.

Dr. K. spread the K.Y. Jelly on his rubber glove clad fingers.

Dr. K. stuck his finger in my butt.

Dr. K. moved his finger around, quickly but carefully exploring the area, searching for any abnormalities.

Dr. K. removed his finger from my butt.

Dr. K. removed his rubber glove and pointed me in the direction of some tissues I could use to wipe up. I discovered I
needed seven or eight return trips to completely wipe up my mess.

"I didn't find any hemorrhoids or any other masses," said Dr. K. "Your prostate feels fine, everything feels fine,"
said
Dr. K. "I don't think you have anything to worry about," Dr. K. informed me. "Just keep watching your stool in case
something else turns up," Dr. K. requested. "We could send you to a specialist, but I don't think they'd find anything
either," Dr. K. opined.

And so my ordeal was over. It wasn't terrible -- not the most natural event, as one can imagine, but it wasn't
painful.
It felt kind of like pooping, except instead of poop going out, it was like a big wriggly poo trying to force its way back
in.

The reason for the blood in my poo remains a mystery. Was it some weird 24-hour colon sickness? Did I drink red paint
without knowing it? Or maybe... was it just my subconscious's way of generating more content for PoopReport?




-- Dave

Like Dave? He's featured in The Journal of Ass Production!


Pun time!!!!

Phew! What a relief! I knew Dr. K. would get to the bottom of my health problems. By boldly going where no man has
gone before, Dr. K. helped me nip my problem in the bud. All he needed was a starship ride around Uranus (good thing I wiped
out all the Klingons before hand!)

And what was the problem? Who knows. Maybe it was psychological -- in which case, perhaps I should go see an analyst.

But since I'm healthy, it's time to celebrate! Bottoms up!

Hey kids -- can you think of any other funny puns related to my recent ass violation? Check out PoopReport's newest
contest: "Funny Terms for a Rectal Exam."

135 Comments on "On Thursday, My Doctor Stuck His Finger Up My Butt."

 r's picture
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Hello. I've had a bit of blood in my poop before. It's okay. Sometimes it's just because your constipated!

VR's picture
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I just took a poop. and it had some blood in it :-\ got scared searched online and found this.. thanx. il keep in mind now if it happends again.

Trashcanman's picture
l 100+ points
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time for the expert...
she says to me, blood in the stool is ok if it is bright red, which indicates a fissure. dark blackish tarry blood in the stool can indicate cancer. Dark tarry stool can also be a medication side effect. Bright red blood is almost always just some minor problem, nothing to worry about.

matt gibson's picture
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i had blood in my poop once. I was also examined by a doctor. I hated that jelly stuff. It also took me numerous wipes to get it off

doniker's picture
j 1000+ points
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The only rectal exam I ever had was by a little oriental female doctor. She had little tiny fingers.
Ever heard that joke about the guy that goes to the doctor and has a male doctor give him a rectal exam? The doctor stands behind him and says "hold still, I am going to exam your anus now". The doctor starts probing the patient's asshole and it is taking a long time. The patient says "wow doc, your amazing, I can't believe you can do this with both of your hands on my shoulders."

Rigor Rectus's picture
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LOL Doniker, too funny...I've only had one rectal exam and it was gross, the doctor did not warn me - I was having the front end probed, pelvic exam, and the stupid female doctor just stuck her finger up my butt without telling me what she was going to do! And matt gibson, if you think it took you numerous wipes to get that gross jelly stuff off, be thankful you're not a girl, we have to use half a box of kleenex to get that slime off once a year!

Phantom Pooper's picture
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funny really, im here for the same reason as VR, just pooped and when i wiped was some bright red blood on the tissue (i look at the tissue always to see if im clean or not). so i looked it up on the net and found this.

I think its a bit rediculous though that the whole of cyberspace doesnt have any mediacl info for my numerous searches and there is just this one place, which is actually kinda cool. gah, the stuff u find surfin the net

Phantom Pooper's picture
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oh by the way, you think this might have anything to do with my cocaine use? i take other stuff but not as regular as cocaine, and no, i dont snort it up my arse :P ill check tomorrow when i poop, if theres blood then im gonna call the doctor.

davo's picture
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My stepfather had a heart attack and almost died from bleeding due to hemmoroids. He recieved a blood transfusion and he said as soon as he got the blood he felt great. Several pills later hes still kickin.

moose's picture
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wow... i came here the same reason... i had some BRIGHT red in the toilet and on my toilet tissue just a few mins ago, and it scared me quite a bit....

platelet's picture
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I came for the same reason too. Once I thought to type "poop" instead of "fecal" or "feces" in my search.

Idiot's picture
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Hehehehe...poop

homosexual's picture
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I eat poop for a living..and I've come across a few incidents with bloody turds. But, the blood adds a certain "zing" to the flavoring.

name's picture
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wow it's amasing that somany people came here for the same reason.

Rob's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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i hate when people come here and post stupid stuff like homosexual did above

anon's picture
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I've had blood in my poop half a year ago, went online and found this, so i thought it'd be alright since it was a once off thing. Now, it happened again, but was once again a once off thing. I'm not even in my 20's yet and there's no history of cancer in my family, but could it be something serious?

Cassie's picture
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I eat pickles...a lot... their my favorite food and I just can't stay away from them, recently every time a little while after i eat pickles i get really bad diarehha, but today I pooped blood, and it wasn't just spots of blood, it was turn the bowl of water red kinda blood. Can anyone tell me whats going on or what i can do. Please e-mail me

MARIA's picture
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my boyfriend has bright red blood in his stool should i take him to the docter or leave it at that he had it happen once 6 months ago and it did not happen again till today im really afraid it is something serious i think im going to make him go ya he's had the docter put the finger in his butt i dont think he liked thatvery much butim going to have to make him get that again thats gonna be tough but it has to be done !;p

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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came here for the same reason as many. this site's wierd but cool!!

Chester's picture
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even me. i found blood in my poop. i'm worried. but someteimes there is but sometimes there's not. thanx for all the info (",)

Poopie Sue's picture
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I came here because I too had alot of red blood in my poop. I had diareah and lots of red blood around the poop. Even tinted the water enought to dye easter eggs with! I am a female so I thought the red sea was being parted, but no. Worried I signed on to investigate. I will check my hershey squirts to make sure no more blood has befrended my anus.

yikes's picture
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I just had blood in my poop today in the afternoon then later after i ate dinner i pooped blood again. Im not even 20 yet.. but its a relief to think i dont have cancer.. however a lot of people in my family have hemmoroids... could i have them this young? theres no way im getting one of those anal things especially if I dont really have anything wrong.

Red Poop's picture
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So what causes the blood in poop again? I don't think I have cancer cause the blood was pretty fast in spreading and not tarry and dark. It was dark when the poop came out with it but when it drips by itself it's bright red. So what causes this? This is the 3rd time I'm pooping out red blood and I haven't gone to my doctor yet. I dont want to get an anal probe... I dont want anything going up my anus.

bob's picture
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Lol, today I had poop in my blood too, eew! It was bright red and there wasn't alot of it, it's the first time it's happened to me though, butt ;) my family doesn't have a history of cancer or anything I know of. Hopefully its the last time!

kristen's picture
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Haha!! my boyfriend had blood in his poop today too!! (and about 10 times before) in the past 4 years i've been dating him! What a great web page!! I was really scared, but see that there's nothing to worry about! HAHA.. and my little brother just told me he had blood in his poop yesterday! Geeze.. it seems to be happening to everyone! But thanks alot! I know that just saved him a trip to the doctor. By the way.. HAPPY 22nd Birthday Poopy(1/18)!! (thats his nickname from me.. b/c he can get pretty "shitty" about stuff) Good luck to everyone!!

James's picture
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I have blood coming out in my crap once a week. And it.s in my crap to as well. What should I do about it. How do I cure the wound

Hershy Hershal's picture
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a bandaid... or lots a guaze--- about an intestine length should do...

RIP's picture
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hey...thanks for telling everyone about the dark red blood and bright red blood thing.....i pooped today and it had the bright red blood in it, and i was scared, but hearing everyone else talk about it helped me feel better. So from now on, I'll keep an eye on my poopie and hope for the best! YEEEEEHAWWWWW

turd burgular's picture
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I've had the same pleasure as of recently. I attributed it to my tight bunger. Does anyone else feel as if their pucker can't accomodate the girth of the log?

Corsair's picture
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i just pooped and it was all bloody and orangish and red and it was gross, so i shearched the internet.lol

The Name is ME's picture
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Well... phew! So I'm sitting on the pooper, taking a poopie. It felt like it always does, so initially I wasn't absolutely terrified. Anyways, I finish with the poopie, reach for the toilet paper, and wipe. I think we all look at the toilet paper to see when we can stop the repetitive wiping motion. BAM! Along with the poop, there is Blood! Then, speaking of blood, all the blood in my face drains! White as a sheet! I look into the toilet now, actually hoping not to see more... Of course there was more, which didn't make me happy at all. Heh, then of course I start thinking of all the possibilities of what might be wrong. "Am I dying?!" "Do I have cancer?!" "Is there a huge hole in my stomach that will kill me in seconds?!" Then came the psychologically induced "pain" that just happens to be right where your stomach is. "Gasp!" "It's all over, I've got E.Coli and it will surely kill me in seconds!" "Hurry, before I die let me get on to the internet and waste my last moments looking for the answer!" ROFLMAO! Yep... that's what brought me here to this site... looking for the answer so that I could at least type something up to my mommy telling her what happened. "If your reading this Mom, I am dead. You're asking yourself why? I'll tell you. I took a poopie, saw some blood, got scared, logged on to the internet to see what the hell was going on, found out it was nothing and was so damn happy that I jumped up and down, up and down... then I lost my balance and hit my head on... something hard I'm sure, killing me instantly."

Cheers all!

poopshooter's picture
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hey this site rocks. i pooped 3 times once in the morning and one at 12 and one at 11 and i bleed the first 2 times but not the last, so i searched google and what do ya know a whole site about poop, thanks poopreport.

The name is ME's picture
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Heh, for some reason I have returned to this wonderful website about poop. I don't know why really. It's just that I feel close to you all, like we are all just one big happily pooping family. Isn't it great? I think so too. From now on, I will visit this site everytime I log on to the internet. Yay! I know you're as happy about that as I am, don't try to deny it... ;)

Cheers all!

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Here's a math problem for you:
Finger up my ass= dead, mutilated doctor!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

poop king's picture
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man i had blood lines in my poop and i was like what the fuck but then i looked it up and its nothing i am fine and it is cool how i am not the only person that under 20!!!

8 months of poop's picture
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I poop w/ the blood too! I don't know what this could be! Its been happening to me since 8 months ago! I don't poop blood everyday, but very frequently I do. AHhhh! i'm tired of the bloody poops!

lots o the poop's picture
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i had some blood in my poops for the first time today, nd i was kinda shocked but now i ve seen this website, its kinda relieving, thx everyone.

whatever's picture
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If you dont have enough fiber your poop could end up being quite lunpy or hard which could cause blood to show up when you have to go. Softer poops=less blood, so eat all the fiber you can get!

stoopid no fooder's picture
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i havn't eaten any food, i drunk grain alcohol, i get bloody poop. you think are related?

two weeks of poop's picture
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wow I feel better. I did see a doc. and he didn't even check me. He just said you ust back up. so I was still scared after I left. because he didn't check anything, not even finger up the a@#. then I end up on this web site. now I Feel better I'm not alone and its a common thing.(bloody poop)
thanks,
everyone

bloody arse's picture
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nice, poo-blood for me as well. Actually it was more poo then blood.. it first happened last night so I did a mid poo check this morning and no blood... then I checked again at the end and the red train had pulled into the station.. and there were blood spurts around the inside of the bowl, but I reckon only about a shot glass of blood in total, so the EXIT ONLY sign is staying proudly above my bloody anus for the time been, and no Phd of penetration is getting nowhere near..

mmm blood's picture
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I love how so many people came here because they just dropped one and found some blood. I came for the same reason :) From what I understand it is pretty common. Especially if you've been going to the bathroom multiple times a day. Wipe gentle young grasshoppers...

Dick's picture
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I had had blood a couple times when I was 17 and 22 but after those one-timers I was Ok til I was 47 then it happenned for a few days accompanied with mucus. I went to the doctor who used a glass or clear plastic device to look up the first inch of my asshole and she said I had internal piles. I was perscribed stool-softeners as well as the suppositories which I had to shove up my ass. I later learned that the blood and mucus was a side effect of some antibiotics I was on a week earlier.
I had my prostate checked a few years before but was lucky: A masculine doctor who has large fingers but is man enough to bite his nails to the nubs is a lot safer and better than a woman doctor or a small-fingered non-masculine male doctor with his/her long nails which can cut through the rubber glove and cut up your asshole. I had read a different version of the story where the patient's name was Sam and he called the doctor "Dr. Scratch" due to his long nails which were like a woman's nails.
Gay men be sure to steer clear of any long-nailed dude in a gay bar with a red hankie in his left hip pocket. FF is dangerous even without nails like a woman's.

some 1's picture
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yeah i have had a bit of blood come out.. and as you would think all the blood from my faced drained and yeah i felt really bad.. but then my brain kicked in. So i tried looking in the miror to see what i could see, see i had a operation a little wile back had this in grown hair cut out neat my rear and yeah i have like splits around my back end.. which i belive got aguvated by somthing or other and bleed a little bit-- so i am hoping that is all it is... good to read about other ppl in the same boat soory about spelling mistakes i am too tired to spell right

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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My but literally spewed blood this June while I was down in Mammoth. It was pretty nasty but it was nothing more than a burst hemmy.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

im here's picture
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wow i feel the same way. i took a dump today and i noticed a tiny red dot on the toliet paper and i was freaked out at first. I did however noticed dark stools about a week or two ago and then i got my anus checked by a doc and he said everything was fine but to stop taking pepto bismal from the diarreah i was having. everything became fine. But thank you for having me not worry poop report

shitterella's picture
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I have had blood in my poop for about a month now. Plus lately I have noticed I have lots of mucus in my poop. It even comes out when I fart. I don't get into a specialist until December. RATS. I hate having bum problems.

The Mad Crapper's picture
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I too found bright red blood. Not much, just a dollop. What is interesting is I did eat a bunch of pickles last night. Someone else mentioned that. I also did cocaine about 3 days ago, though it was only maybe the 5th time ever. I am 35. Pickles and coke? Interesting. Great site. I feel better having read these posts. Thanks.

Matt's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Hi.. I am Matt, from the UK.. and.. erm... I am a bloody-turd shitter .. :( I went to the bog at 9:20pm tonight, had a turd, looked at the paper (as ya do) lots of bright red spots .. I checked in the basin, holy moses, two little pieces of turn, like rabbit tods, but a bit bigger, BRIGHT red and like fibreous on the outer part.. lovely colour red mind :) but not good .. I am gonna make a turd diary over the next 7 days then go see my GP, see whats wrong with me .. oops.. I can feel another turd comin, .. will keep u posted, pffwwwaart ! oops ...

anonymous_coward's picture
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I have had problems with hemmorhoids starting since I was about 20 (I'm now 24). I have an idea on what could be causing mine and I was wondering if it might make sense to any other people here.
The problem is that I think I am very tense and have alot of repressed emotions, etc. and this makes it generally hard to relax, which makes it hard to take a dump. The problems began at a time when I was thinking very vigorously about certain things which seems to relate to this in some sense.
I mentioned it to a doctor but he seemed to dismiss it, but I still think there might be something to it.

basil's picture
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wel ive been experiencein the same thing for ova 7months and now im feeling a pain in my ass 4 2 days now wat should i do? im thinking bout goin 2 the doctors

-Holy Crap-'s picture
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the docter stuck a thermomater up my anus once...yeah, last time I saw that docter.....

Dannnnn!'s picture
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I just saw some blood in my poop about 10 mins. ago. And shit, I was freaking out. Then I got here and read about the red vs. dark color of blood, it calmed me down quite a bit. "I saw red blood" !!!! I don't know if I should consult my doctor 'cuz the dude is a big guy and I think his fingers are pretty fat too. It's going to hurt if he put his fat finger up my bottom. :-((

benjamin's picture
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ok... first of all i just wanted to say that that little story was pretty funny... well anyways... i found some blood in my poop too... i was so scared.. i didnt know wat to do. i couldnt tell my mom because she is just wierd that way.. so i decided to look it up on the internet. and i found this... and i just wanted to say thank you to the people like you who are curious about things like this too.---benjamin

lil_girly's picture
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heya...same problem with me...ive noticed it for a VERY long while now, but only recently i it occuring frequently. I am below the age of 16 so im soo scared!
You have managed to calm my nerves down a little... there is noo wayyyy im telling my mum!

k's picture
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Well this morning, after I dropped a small one, I wiped and noticed there was blood there instead of the normal brown stuff i see. Immediately I freaked, looked in the stool and saw the two pieces..one was normal, the other was normal (for the most part), but it had a bright red streak towards the end. There was no blood in the toilet it self, the water was still clear. This one piece with some blood on it though definely freaked me out. I'm not sure what it could be, but I'm the type of person that immediately considers the worst case scenario..but im hoping its nothing serious. I've never had this happen before. I usually do wipe quite a lot though so I think the first positive possibility is that its somehing on the surface. I think im gonna wait and see what happens next. If theres more blood then ill probably see a doctor, if not then ill keep looking out for it.

Tom's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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At least you had a choice... I was strapped to a wooden board, surrounded by green people. No, not aliens. Canadian Doctors. I live on a farm, we have 1,700 acres of open land, no trees, wonderful. We tore down 27
acres of wooden fence, and left about 25 feet of it up, sat a wagon in front of it, and planted flowers in it. I though it was a
neat idea. Well, these fields are great for everything, especially snow mobiling. One evening I'm riding w/ my friends and the
fire alarm goes off (huge steam whistle on the local lumber mill). We ran a snow rescue school, and Medical response
service. So we had these snow mobile towed ambulance, and trained people in snow survival, etc. The rest of my family are
EMT-STT's (Shock Trauma-Technicians). I happen to be a Wilderness Emergency Medical Technician and Vol. Firefighter
so of course I take off like hell. 1,699.99 acres have no obstructions at all... 25' of fence is all that stood between me and
responding to the fire house. I only had a .01% chance of hitting something speeding across the fields. Everyone in front of
me flies on out of the fields w/ no problem at all.. What do I do? I hit the smurfdamn fence at 65mph. I broke right through
it, and was thrown about 40 feet, landing in about 4' of fresh North Dakota snow. Soft landing but I had a problem. There
was a 13" piece of wood stuck in my chest sort of under my right arm. The snow mobile rolled about three dozen times end
over end, finally landing on the side of a small road that goes through the field to the horse barns, it burst into flames. so at
least they'd be able to find me. I couldn't see anything but snow, I'd sank down three feet. I could feel blood filling the inside
of my snow suit, I didn't want to move in case I had a spinal injury though. I knew my leg was broken, the bone was poking
at the skin so when ever I move it made me scream like a little girl. Luckyily the fought the urge to go to a barn fire, and
came back-other wise I'd prolly still be there, a tommysicle. I thought hitting the fence was bad, but what took place over
the next two hours was horrible. Thats where my story comes into this website. yuckers. They fly me to a trauma hospital in
Canada b/c the wood "splinter" punctured my lung. I'm laying in the trauma room, strapped to a spine board with board
sticking out of my chest. It was pretty calm, they were doing too much, cut off my snow suit & shirt; and gave me a bunch of
IV's. The strapped my arms down, and the leg that wasn't broken was strapped down, in a position with the knee bent up in
the air. I wondered what the hell that was for, they wouldn't answer my questions, wouldn't talk to me at all. So I just lay
there like a science project. Then about 12 doctors file in, one feels all over my head.. yep thats fine, it's my shoulder... They
cut my boxers off. Why did u do that? hello what am I feckin invisible... So they leave, and here I am complete nude,
strapped down, can't move... Now I'm getting pissed off. Another doctor comes in.. The cut a hole in my chest, and put a
chest tube in w/ little to any local anesthetic; they do it with out saying a word to me... Nobody even asked if anything hurt.
They stab me w/ a needle, a tetnus shot I guess, and then all hell breaks loose. They file in about 15 people in scrubs, they
stand there talking amongst themselves, looking at me, I must have been quite a site. I'm talk to them, they won't answer me.
So I say "If someone doesn't start to fucking coddle me, I'll sue your cold hearted asses off". A nurse says "You'll be fine" in
a mono tone voice and leaves. Big help. bitch. The doctors converge on me and start touching all over. Uh, hello. The leg
and the stick, don't touch my boys! They stick a tube in my... um.. NOT NECESSARY. I can't see anything except the
ceiling, I feel something going for the "Danger Zone"... hey get away from my ass, EXIT ONLY PAL... The leg, the stick...
HELLO.... Was he looking for the lost spanish gold? Bastard stuck his finger in my ass, he felt around for about two
minutes.. then tells me "We have to check for blood". Why didn't you warn me before you stuck your finger in my ass? We
do things different in Canada.. Oh? What, your not compassionate humans.. I'm a paramedic and I demand to be
transferred to a US hospital b/c you guys are making me feel worse! Once they found out I was a paramedic, they started to
be really nice. Until, something else... Hey. My mouth is up here... Bastards stuck this ball w/ a wire on it in my ass, and
taped it in place.. "Its to measure your temperature constantly".. You can't tell me these things? The chest tube was removed
in 12 hours and I was released the same day w/ a cast. The fence and wagon? I set it on fire, and burned it to ashes. I bet
that most people who claim they woke up to 12 green people standing around them, and something being stuck up their ass,
weren't abducted by aliens... They were in an Sask, Canada Hospital. bastards with their squidgy surgi-lube.

exterminator's picture
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I hate to tell youall this but a common problem that causes the occaision red bombs is a parasite. A little squigly that eats you from the inside out. You may not feel it or you may have some cramping feelings if it is bad. Fear not. There is a cure. See your doctor immediately and ask to test for the little bastards. Good hunting!

Guest's picture
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well i went to the doc, and he wanted to stick this devise thing in my ass, and i was like, dude its not happening... So he made me lay on my die, he opend my ass cheecks up, and RIPPED MY F'N ANUS... omg the pain... anywho, he said i had 3 anal fissures... and told me to get some ointments... Well i have Ozonal and just wanted to know if that will work.... Anyways, i think 2 fissures heald because now there is only 1 mark which appears down the stool... and its not bleeding as much... so im getting better...

Also i never used the oinment yes, cause i dont nkow if ozonal is good to use for this... but i started to drink water, and eat more fruits, and i look in the coboard for high fiber things to munch on, and its been helping. im even getting periods where i dont bleed at all, just the pain, which now is greatly reduced...

But omg, i bled so damn much the day befor i went to see the Doc... wow...

Advice. If it dont hurt to much and just little blood, DRINK LOTS OF WATCH and EAT your FRUITS, this will make it better befor it gets worse. Also if theeres blood, DONT WIPE, the doc told me to do this.
1) take toilet paper and Dab/LIGHTLY wipe area to get rid of majority of poop...
2) take new toilet paper and wet it, then dab your anus clean... do this untill the bleeding stops, this helps stop the irretation too, then 15 mins later, if u still feel it, go bad it again with yet tissue...

My question... will Ozonal work to heal a fissure?

anyways, for those who are just getting them, drink water, eat fruites and grreens... and dont wipe so hard. Goodluck healing... im going on a month now :S:S:S....

poop's picture
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WOW, this sounds scary, i just took a dump, put what wipe in than one more, i looked at the last and there was a small tiny amount of light blood.
is that bad?

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I totally think its a parasite also! I have experience in disecting animals and noticed that in chickens they have worms. Eww, totally gross! But I think since they have it we must have it also. Gross Right?
I saw this website on cleansing your inside and wanted to share it. Check out the website

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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I too have recently been a victim of the "digital rectal exam" although I found it odd, as the doctor had a hand on each shoulder...hmmmm....

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Matt The Man's picture
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Guys... I wrote a reply above many months ago, scroll up to see me history : Matt (78) -- 10.27.2004 ... ANYWAY.. as it goes.. no blood until recently, see.. i tend to wipe me arse a good-un, dont like no skids u see, I think wipin it too much may be causin a tear in me sphincter, but I did have piles once and I also think that this could be a recurring factor, it grows causes pain, is sore then a big log might rip me ring piece again and out comes the blood. Anyway thats what happens to me in a vicious circle. Dont panic unless ur bleeding daily for a week, then go see your doctor, if its bad he can fix it, if you dont go and its left, could cost u ur life ! its best to get these things sorted rather an ignored. Colon Cancer is a big killer, if u got that, kiss ya friends and family goodbye, its part of life, can happen to anyone of us, so do the right thing, if not for urself for ur family, get yasen checked ! All the best, Matt

Terd Burgular's picture
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Dude, this is bad. I have been having brightly red colored pieces in my stool for about 3 weeks now, and it doesn't seem to be going away. It's like a red m&m cookie, but in the shape of a terd. I saw the gi specialist about 2 weeks ago now and got the finger rectal exam (was afraid I was going to be probed). He said he didn't see anything that would indicate something was wrong. Other than that he told me if it worried me enough, I could come back in for sigmoidoscopy which is a probe that examines part of your intestines. I also told him of my history of having frequent diaherria for several years now. He diagnosed IBS (irritable bowel syndrome), which I pretty much self-diagnosed a while ago. In short, he wasn't a whole lot of help, but I think I am going to go back for the sigmoidoscopy to be safe since the red spots haven't gone away. I am very nervous of the thought of having the procedure done though. Since I frequent the bathroom alot I tend to wipe with the sandpaper-like tp and often tear my anus. Anyone else have this stuff? Anyone have similar problems with their terds? I don't think I have a family history of colon cancer, and I don't recall ever having hemerrhoids before. I am 29 y/o and still have plenty 0 livin to do! Mr. Hankey is not making my happy right now!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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there is no blood in my stool only on the toilet paper i wiped with, so should i just eat more fruit and veggies/drink more water like one of the above posters?
p.s this has been going on for a while.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I've had blood in my poop just a few mins ago it first happened back in September of 2005 it only happened ince and I was fine and now in October of 2005 it has happened 3 times. I'm only 16 so I'm really scared with the sounds of cancer.

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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Blood in your poop could be serious. It could also be nothing. here's the rule: if you have blood more than 3 or 4 days in a row, you should go to the doctor.

Don't be embarassed. That's what doctors are there for.

Terd Burgular's picture
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By the way, I was taking Metamucil for a while to help the IBS. I got constipated a few weeks back, I think from the fiber supplement. I wonder if I have hemerrhoids, and that is causing the red spots?

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points
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Dave did the right thing. He saw blood in his poop. He called the doctor.
To all of you people that are wondering about blood in your stool, follow Dave's example.
GO SEE A DOCTOR.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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can anyone help or advise me, i have been the toilet today and i have had red pieces in my poop. not sure why this has happend
thanks
rusty