Wow, Tom, my deepest sympathies. I couldn't imagine...but, hey, I agree with Alex, your girlfriend is definitely a keeper! Lol, that was a great story, too.

That story was great! Had me laughing forever! I've had that happen to me like once and my boyfriend at the time dumped me so u should keep ur girlfriend! Shes a keeper after staying with you for that!

Next time don't be rude to the waiter and he won't put the toilet water in your steak sauce!!!

I don't understand why you put those shitty boxers back on, didn't cover the seat with the towel before you came back to sit on it with your bemudded ass, and didn't change in to your swim trunks sooner.

I guess in that state of emergency, logical thinking goes out the window

Man...what a story! I was curious just like Di was though about why you would put the boxers back on! I'd rather be wearing nothing at all! Whoever your girlfriend is, don't let her go! She's a keeper if she could put up with that! Did she get nautious from the smell? AND...who's car was it? If it was her car...she's a saint! Good luck getting rid of THAT smell! It reminds me yet of another "Seinfeld" episode about the valet parker who stunk up Jerry's car with BO. I'd hate to work where ever you go to have the car cleaned and detailed! Man...

ugh that is awful ive expercience probably the same flu twice so far i always puked and craped at the same time luckily it always happened at home!

Dude it will happen to every one in their life. I've expercienced it 4 times. I know it is really bad. You should try ting next time out the car door that works the best.

I don't know, sounds more like a flu bug to me.

That car must have really reeked like shit. Your girlfriend must have a strong stomach to tolerate that odor.

I hate it when I eat an expensive meal and I puke it up, it has happened to me a few times.

Happy anniversary.

I had something similar happen to me--although there was no puke involved and no mess was made anywhere but in the toilet--when the president of one of the companies I work for came down to travel with me last year. She had bought an expensive dinner for both of us, and I had ordered the salmon special. Must have been a piece of spoiled fish because two hours later I was chained to the toilet in agony with the Yellow River of China pouring out of my ass. Was totally dehydrated and felt really sick all night.

I am at least thankful I was in for the night and that this did not happen on our sales call the next morning or when we were in transit. Good meals gone bad--it's a shame.

Tom, from now on you will always be known simply as "shit bag" in respect of this fine story.

Saying that I had food poisoning from this dirty kebab place I went to in London last Saturday. I ordered a plain burger but they kept giving me jip about having to buy a complete meal (i.e fries coke etc).

I was a drunk and arguementative and said I only wanted a burger, and couldn't understand why I had to buy a complete meal. Suddenly a burger appeared (alarm bells should have rung at that point). I ate it, went to bed, woke up in the middle of the night with stomach ache.

Next morning, caught the tube home and puked my guts up in the carriage. The sweet smell of milk and cornflakes engulfing the small compact compartment. And everyone was trapped with me. Mwo ha ha ha ha.

Tom, it may not have been the steak that did you in--steak is a chunk of meat and it is grilled over high heat, which should be enough to kill germs.

Burgers are another story: they're made of ground meat, which disperses the germs througout the burger. If a burger is contaminated and it isnt cooked through, some evil bacteria can linger right in the undercooked center portion and zap you. That's why they're recommended that burgers be cooked until done.

Chicken is often contaminated--another reason to be sure you cook chicken until it is done all the way through and the juices run clear. If it is pink near the bone--dont eat it!

Given that you and your girlfriend both had steak but only you had the banana split, my hunch is that the ice cream or the topping on the ice cream was contaminated. Years back, I heard that someone working at our local ice cream parlor practed poor hygeine. They scratched thier ass then scooped ice cream. It started a Hepatitis A outbreak.

I agree with the rest of the gang: if your girlfriend is still in love with you after all this--dont let her go. She's the real deal.

Everybody keeps praising Tom's girlfriend for staying with him after this incident. Why wouldn't she?

It would have to take a real insensitive shallow person to break up with someone after a 3 year relationship because they got sick and shit themselves.

You people must really be stuck with some sorry mates if you fear squirting diarreah in front of them, if the situation should arise.

imagine 2 people spewing at both ends and

1 terlet

we had another in within the week

Nothing worse than being exited on both ends simultaneously. I've been there and it isn't fun. Next time shine a flashlight down your mouth and see if a light beam comes out your ass. It sounds like you were cleaned out thoroughly.

ew. sorry man, sorry.

ew....i had something like that which is similar but is not. I was in 1st grade and sitting in front of a girl I kinda liked to be around. Well, i had to poop so I kept holding it in till class was over. But it just ended up coming out of my mouth and i got it all over her desk and papers as well as myself. She told the teacher and they thought I just got sick so I got to go to the hallway with a bucket waiting for my mom to pick me up. I never saw her again in the years to come. Either moved or was just grossed out, I dunno, but i slept since then and not care.

ok doniker for his girlfriend that was the most vile thing to witness but to be trapped in the car while it happened is awful u think most girls would stay with a guy for that. I would but i also go to a poop site everyday lol.

You should marry that girl. I've had three marriages end because my exwives couldn't take my constant pants-shitting. Some people get all worked up over a little poop.

Thought I was going to have a brain hemmorage reading this thing -- true or not it was hilarious.!!!

I liked the part where he watched his own diarrhea fill the plastic bag.

Tom your girlfriend is a keeper. Oh yeah, great story.

Tom, I almost crapped my pants listening to your excellent story. Little did you know, I was responsible for your incident--I, Montezuma, returned for my revenge. And when you least expect it, I will ... rear ... my ugly head again! Excellent...

ouch

You poor thing! My gosh! Out both ends! Overflowing!

So that's how the smell got in Seinfeld's car. For some reason I've never seen the whole episode at once.

Montezuma's name reminds me of a funny story. There once was this guy who went to Mexico for business, but didn't hear about any of the warnings about Montezuma's Revenge. Well, he caught it. One day, when he was doing some sort of buisness thing (I don't remember what his purpose was down there), he had the squirts all in his pants. Since his clothes were so soiled, the people who were doing business with him gave him the only spare clothes they could provide him--prison attire (they were near a prison, and somehow it turned out that they could get an outfit like that for him). The guy was unhappy, but he just got on the bus to leave. The bus had only driven a few yards, when some cops came out and stopped them. A couple police men boarded the bus and announced that there was an escaped prisoner and that they couldn't let anyone leave yet until all the vehicles were checked.

That's pretty much the whole story. Somehow it turned out okay for the guy. This is a true story.

nice/ouch/SWEET

When ever I shit my pants I am wearing briefs which holds poop in better then boxers. Try that sometime.

ALex

jeezohmighty! lol you gf must have been FREAKED out

you should get cat scanned for salmonella or something so you can sue that restaunt for they shitty shit they put you through (pun very intended) then maybe theyll be the ones with dirrhea

this 17 year old kid shat in the swimming pool once when i was 5 years old everybody was laughing at him. then his gf started to laugh at him and he started to cry. i was laughing harder than everybody becuase he had previously pushed me into a section that was 7 ft deep......HAHA

oh man,i cant believe ive never seen this place before.The general consensus is Toms gf is a saint,well everybody is right.My gf dumped me like mexican water,just for shittin in the fireplace one night.Was upstairs in bed,both my bathrooms are down stairs.When the KFC hit,it really hit.

Amen, doniker! Everyone stop dating such shallow, inconsiderate fucks! If you're just looking for a good hump then use your hand boys. Or a bottle, girls.
But I do feel for your girlfriend, Tom. When I brought my dog Reedy home when he was a puppy he squirted brown mustard all over my lap. I had to stick my head out the window so I wouldn't puke from the smell.

How was your steak cooked? Rare? Medium Rare? Because you are at greater risk getting food poisoning if you eat meat that hasn't been fully cooked. If you were still sick a week later then it could have been E-Coli poisoning. It's a nasty bacteria found in raw beef. If the steak was well done then maybe it wasn't thawed properly (like at room temp. all day) or the steak was contaminated with more E-Coli than usual resulting in some of it surviving during the cooking process. Or maybe an unsanitary cook didn't wash their hands after using the bathroom and touched the steak. This would have caused Hepitidus A which is another nasty illness caused from bacteria found in feces. If it ever happens to anybody call the Health Dept. and report the resturaunt and incident. They will slam the resturaunt's ass! But if the illness was acute, lasting a week or more, you can sue them and will almost always win because it is their fault. Bye!

This reminds me of the time a college friend of mine got food poisoning. We were driving through Centralia (I lived in Seattle at the time) and all of a sudden she rolled down the window and puked her guts all over I-5. I think it hit the minivan next to us but I didn't stick around to find out. She didn't do the shitting part but she kept rolling down the automatic windows every few minutes to puke. When we got to Seattle there was dried puke all over the side of the car. Turns out she caught salmonella from the steak house in Centralia.

Awful pooping. Did your woman get sick?

Good story.

Be careful of what you eat from now on. As for your GF, it sounds like you have found a wonerful girl.
_______
"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

Poor Tom:( Good story,though.

to be honest, wouldn't it have been easier to sit with it confined to ya pre-filled boxers? rather that get it all over the seat?

Good story! Just two things - easy for everyone to say what they would or would not have done - guess in this situation you feel so crap you just aren't thinking straight!! As for the girl, I hope you are still with her - I agree with TSV - and there are a lot of 'shallow inconsiderate fucks' around.