We'll have to check it out if we ever get that far south. Sounds funny. I reminds me of the US Army poster with the long row of toilets, like about 20 or 30 in a row, no stall, no wall, and one guy sitting on the far off pot. The caption reads "the job isn't finished until the paperwork is done". Me, personally, I can't shit with a crowd, I need my privacy, except at home, I shit with the door open, my wife and little daughter and both dogs coming in and out as I try to READ!

Hey, gutbuster, I had a grad school roommate who bought a copy of that Army poster for a joke and put it on the wall in the bathroom of the house we rented one semester. Funny!

Regarding that bizarre bathroom in the Roosevelt Hotel

--as I indicated in my story, it has been officially retired. No more getting haircuts and taking dumps at the same time, but that was the closest I have ever come to being overwhelmed by taking a shit in a public facility. Otherwise and in most situations, I'm 'good to go.'

This just cries for some investigative journalism. Surely there are some magnificently eccentric local historians in New Orleans who could investigate this; perhaps, hidden away in a dark alley, there is someone who has obsessively researched everything there is the know about the Hotel Roosevelt.

All in all, its fascinating--and surely enough to launch a lifetime of poopreporting!

Wouldn't it have been cool if the stalls were doorless? The the customers having their hair cut and the barbers could have shot the breeze with guys taking a shit.

Well, you know, Poop Lover, I didn't express this idea in my story, but it was almost like participating in a weird game show. The men getting the haircuts were the contestants, and those of us shitting away in those semi-private stalls were the guesswork. To wit: whose hairy legs are those behind Stall #2? Is that the Mayor of New Orleans sporting those Florsheim's in Stall #6? What famous celebrity making a movie in New Orleans is making all that noise and stinking up Stall #10? And will he give anyone his autograph on a sheet of toilet paper when he finishes? And last, but not least, who is the kid from out-of-town with the freckled legs on Stall #15, crapping away with the Big Boys and making a memory that will be revealed decades later on poopreport.com?

Yes, folks, the man in the barber chair who guesses the most answers will win cash and exciting prizes worth $5,000 today on: Who's On The Pot?--live from the Roosevelt Hotel Barbershop/Crapper Combo!

Another thought here: if the stalls had been doorless, Poop Lover, the men in the barber chairs could have held up big placards like they were Olympic judges rating the various shitters. I personally would have given that guy with his pants all the way down and the various sections of the morning paper spread all over his stall a Perfect 10.0. He was just letting it all hang-out and was surely the most shameless of the lot.

As for investigative journalism on this subject, Pooperscooper, are you by any chance suggesting that I revisit this bizarre scene of my youth and see what kind of detective work I can do? Hmmmmm! Shades of Jack Nicholson as Jack Gittes in 'Chinatown!'

Jake, not Jack.

Hey Big Wiper, you've got a great imagination! It's too bad that they've remodelled at the Roosevelt so now no one can check your story's accuracy! Are you one of those dudes who gets off on being watched while you take a shit?

Further to Poop Lover's idea (and the Big Wiper's expansion thereof), another idea would be to increase the level of integration of the two functions - actually convert the barber chair into a WC (or vice versa) so that you can have your hair cut and take a dump simultaneously. What a timesaver that would be!

(Sorry, that's gross, I know)

Matthew, it's not gross at all. It's downright out of Monty Python! Can't you just see every one of those guys s(h)itting in barber chairs? Who knows--I haven't seen every single episode of that famous Brit series--they may have actually done that, knowing their tendencies!

Turd grader--I don't think that bathroom was remodelled as much as it was simply shut down and darkened. It is likely still there in the basement of the hotel, gathering dust.

At any rate, there is ample proof of the facility in this old-line hotel's records and history. There are probably still a few old-timers working there who remember when it was up and running as well. An ad placed in the New Orleans 'Times-Picayune' daily newspaper asking those who had used the facility to come forward to participate in a news article would doubtless produce thousands of replies. Thanks for the compliment about my imagination, but I save the fictional stuff for the novels I write.

As for my unabashed shamelessness, it is well-documented on this site in my other articles and many posts. I am not the least bit hesitant to use open (doorless) stalls and have stated several times that I have, over the years, enjoyed taking craps in front of and socializing with others while on the toilet. I thought that was old news about me. If you want to call that 'getting off,' that's fine with me. Check out my stories--'In Defense Of Open Stalls,'--under DISCUSSIONS--'Open Door Policy,'--under POOP AT THE OFFICE and 'My Shameless Family'--under TECHNIQUES--all on the front page, as well as countless posts on the forum. I've been up front with my fellow poop reporters about myself on this subject since I joined. I believe you are fairly new to PR. Welcome aboard and by all means have a good time--I've enjoyed your links over on the forums so far--but please don't question my honesty in the future! I have had a bellyful of that already due to an identity misunderstanding that occurred when I first came aboard.

Hey Big Wiper, that's a cool story! I've seen shoeshine stands in airport restrooms but I've never heard of a situation where guys take a shit while having their hair cut. I guess anything can happen in New Orleans! It must have been kind of unpleasant for the barbers. It's kind of surprising that the barber shop licensing authorities allowed it, but I guess that things were less regulated in the pre-World War II days.

Yeah, if the Roosevelt restroom had doorless stalls and a shoeshine stand then the shoeshine boy could go from stall to stall and shine guys' shoes while they took a dump! I guess that an extra-large tip would be in order then. The guys taking particularly smelly dumps would have to give even larger tips. Just think of how much time would be saved by having your hair cut and your shoes shined while you took a dump, LOL!

My sense is, Big Dumper, that this facility was put in when the hotel was built, which was somewhere in the late 1800's, possibly early 1900's. Your point about regulations is well-taken. Those probably kicked in at some point, shutting it down. I do remember going back to the Roosevelt on business during the period in which I was working for the New Orleans Tourist Commission in the early '80's, and you could no longer access the facility. The stairway leading down to it was roped off. I don't know, maybe the Phantom Of The Opera lived down there by then.

As for the barbers, I'm reasonably sure they didn't smell anything because the stalls were on the opposite side of that huge room. Really, it was the size of a ballroom. I guess if the barbers had problems it was with having to watch all those men constantly dropping trou in those semi-private stalls, but there's this to consider. When you're giving someone a haircut, you have to play close attention to their scalp, not what someone is doing way across the room. If they stayed busy with customers, it probably wasn't too bad. Still, bizarre is the only way to describe the whole set-up.

As for the shoeshine thing--there are not only stands in airport men's rooms, they also have them in truck stop restrooms--the kind where you can also take a shower and shave in special compartments nearby. The smelly-dump-shoeshine tip thing is hilarious, Poop Lover. I have half a mind to ask ass_phlegm if he will do a comic strip based on that concept. Later.

Perhaps, they should have considered adding a manicurist too. In that way, four tasks could have been accomplished in one visit. It's too bad that they've roped the place off. I was planning to check on it real soon.

Hey, TG, manicurist, pedicurist, massage therapist. The list goes on and on. Yeah, I have to be honest with you and tell you that when I returned to the hotel on business as a grown man, I was actually looking forward to revisiting this trip of a facility.

I was grossly disappointed that it was no longer open for business (ha! there's a pun in there somewhere).

I would think Big Dumper is right about this one. I'll bet some sort of modern-day regulation closed it down. But another thought also just dawned on me: it's possible that the advent of hair stylists and unisex salons versus old-fashioned, white-sidewall, buzz-cut barbers drove them out of business. And I'm quite sure a bathroom that big was a bitch to keep clean! The current men's room at the Roosevelt Hotel is one of those plush, cozy affairs with only about three or four stalls and that schmoozy attendant trying to frisk you for a tip. (But if you ever go to New Orleans and stay there, I'll bet you could find some older person on the staff who could talk to you about it. Maybe you could get someone to give you a guided tour into the bowels of the basement (again with the pun!) using torches. Would that be creepy or what?

that must have been fun crapping there!

Having lived in N'awlins for 8 years or so, I have learned that our historic town has been through many 'phases' that only leave one asking 'what the hell were they thinking?'

"The Roosevelt" was purchased in 1965 and went through an extensive facelift from 1966-68. This is probably when your barbershop crap house was lost. The hotel was renamed "The Fairmont New Orleans", but still often referred to as "The Roosevelt" by anyone over 30 that was been around here that long.

You may not have realized how special that throne room was... The hotel (originally named Hotel Grunewald) began as a much smaller structure in 1893. It was called "one of the grandest of all hotels in the South". In 1908 an annex was built, as was the most unusual feature of the Grunewald Hotel on University Place was "The Cave", reputed to be America's first nightclub. It was inspired by Mammoth Cave in Kentucky and located in the basement of the hotel.

You'll have to use your imagination now. In the cavernous underground supper club, the pipes, conduits and beams were disguised by the expert, creative use of 700,000 pounds of cement and plaster and transformed into stalagmites, stalactites and waterfalls. This extraordinary decor also featured naked, life-size stucco nymphs here and there. Added to this spectacle were Dixieland bands, entertaining floor shows and beautifully dressed showgirls. Located below what is now The Blue Room, The Cave remained a popular nightspot from 1910 to about 1930, after which another renovation reclaimed much of that space for hotel ‘facilities’, offices, etc. Undoubtedly your john was a product of that change.

As many visitors to our city quickly learn as the pass any local cemetary, we actually have a very high water table -- so much so that anything placed underground tends float up and off at the first small flood. Because of this, we bury our dead above ground -- and our buildings do not have basements... generally. The vast amount of cement used in construvtion of "The Cave" is because they basically had to make a large cement bowl, and sink it. Only two of the historic hotels in this area (that I know of) have significant basements.

So not only were in crapping in a unique barber shop, you also dumped in America's first nightclub while below sea level and surrounded by water and all at one of the grandest hotels in the South!

Thanks for the fantastic historical background. I had no idea that 'facility' was so tradition-rich, but, you're right--I can say that I once took a dump there as a boy. Nuthin' like N'Orlins!

Well, the French Quarter in N'awlins is about as haunted a place as you can get. I'm sure it was designed that way to creep out the tenants while they did there business. I'd be laughing my ass off if I dropped a load, and whilst I take a peak at it, see a floating head, thereby crapping on a ghost!

wow. awesome story! very descriptive indeed. i have a great mental picture of this very kooky setup and it fascinates me!

also NewOrleansAss that was fantastic work with the historical stuff.

and yes, the toilets do flush in the other direction down here... but we can install expensive machines to ensure the water circulates the "correct American way"

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAA

laters

;)

What else do you expect from New Orleans? The whole city is one giant shithole. It's even below sea level. If I could create a massive hurricane with my mind I'd just blow the whole thing away... Or turn it into a shit-encrusted swamp again.

I never had a door on a toilet stall in 16 years of school (including college) I shit lke every other male in front of each other, while the females shit in private. Never figured THAT one out LOL !!!!

Well, I can appriciate that. Why would guys need doors on their stalls just to poop? We females poop AND pee in our stalls, so we need doors, plus guys like to brag about 'STINKING' up so its better that you don't have doors so your stins circulate better. We ladies are much more private...Case closed

A-. Great story!

I would have thought it would be kind of uncomfortable and awkward. I mean what if you're sitting there getting a haircut and a guy comes in and blows ut this bowl blasting long dump. I mean, what do you talk about? The weather? Do you laugh? Or hold your stomach and think, glad thats not me. How could a barber stand being in a public bathroom day after day listening to guys dumping and toilets flushing? What would OSHA have to say about that?

Um, his dad didn't have to use the bathroom the entire weekend?

Of course my father used the bathroom that weekend. But not the big public men's room in the basement that I had wandered into and was the subject of the story. He used the bathroom in his private hotel suite that we were staying in. Duh!

So TBW is now the curator of this lost piece of US history.

Wandering into that bathroom was dizzying, to say the least, but it made an indelible impression on me. And now, it's on record on PR forever.

Yet another great story. You should follow Dave and publish a collection.

Yeah, TBW! I bet you COULD get published! You should think about it! I'd buy a book of yours, absolutely. :)

I used to live in New Orleans and visited the Roosevelt many times but do not recall that particular bathroom. There was, however, an Italian restaurant in the French Quarter on Decatur Street with a barbershop and bathroom in the hall between the bar and the eating area. There were doors on the bathrooms.

This event occurred in the '60's. The bathroom has been closed down for many decades now.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!