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 Shameless In SaigonPosted 10.29.2003 by The Big Wiper (2245)
Several years ago, I was visiting relatives in my hometown and ran into an older friend of the family. I'll call him Jim because he is a tall, gangly fellow who has always reminded me of Jimmy Stewart. Jim had served in Vietnam and managed to return safely, get married and settle down with the kids.
One evening at a party we were discussing those turbulent years, and I asked him what living was like over there on a daily basis. He recounted a variety of experiences from the food to the striking Vietnamese women, but one of the most interesting and, yes, even amusing, things he revealed were the outrageous bathroom facilities set up for the soldiers to use. From what I gathered, it was the only facility available in the area he was stationed, and, in PoopReport terms, pretty much stretched the limits of Shamelessness for most of the soldiers. Jim said that it consisted of a row of holes on a bench-like structure -- not unlike an old-fashioned outhouse might have featured -- but with a metal trough running along underneath to catch the turds and the piss. There were no partitions between the holes, nor were their any doors. Pretty spartan, so far. The kicker, however, was that this facility opened out onto one of the streets of Saigon at a peculiar angle, so that it was possible for all passersby of both genders to get an eyeful of America's best and bravest doing their patriotic doodie, if they so desired to sneak a glimpse. "I have no idea why it was designed that way, or why no attempt to provide greater privacy was ever attempted as long as I was there," Jim explained, chuckling. "I remember writing home to my parents," he explained further, "and telling them we guys were shocked at first when we discovered this arrangement. But we got used to it, especially since there was at least a little distance between us and the street, and no one seemed to be gawking at us when we pulled our pants down and got down to business. We eventually laughed it off because, frankly, we needed something to laugh about over there. If that was the worst thing we had to deal with," he continued, "-- and believe me, it wasn't -- then we considered ourselves lucky." Jim also told me that his mother was so amused by his predicament, such as it was, that she shared his revelatory letter with her bridge club. Those women then told their friends, and the grapevine soon had it all over my hometown that, as part of their assignment, Jim and his buddies were shitting right out on the streets of Saigon. "My mother told me later on that the image of me using that ridiculous, jury-rigged facility actually helped her get through the trauma of me being over there and the anxiety of wondering if I would come back," he added. "Picturing me on the pot and on display from the street at least meant I was alive and well and laughing with my buddies. It was a whole lot more reassuring than what she was seeing on the nightly news." And given the fact that one of Jim's friends came back with both his legs blown off (similar to Lieutenant Dan in Forrest Gump), it seemed foolish indeed to quibble over having no privacy while depositing the previous day's K-Rations and other military grub. Jim seems none the worse for wear these days, but he has told me point blank that there are things he simply cannot and will not discuss about Vietnam. I certainly respect that about him, and I particularly respect and understand the streak of Shamelessness he acquired over there out on the streets of Saigon. Post new comment
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