See, what have I been telling you?

I too have been amazed at the sizes of some of the turds that my young child has left in the toilet.
I have seen logs that must have weighed about 1/10 of her body weight.

I don't see what all the hype about being the first one to post is...it doesn't feel any different from any of the other posts. Except, wait...mine's at the top. Wow - first post DOES rule!!!

Heh, heh, "Brownstain Bears".

I just wanted to mention that Hillary Clinton is touring our facilities as I write this, and I have also just taken a mighty crap in the facilities. It's quite possible that the former First Lady and current Senator of NY is sniffing some of my fart particles!

Hmm, I hope the secret service isn't reading this...

Wait, I should say she's touring our building...not facilities in terms of our bathrooms. That would be quite a news story though.

What a beautiful tale. Almost makes me want to have kids.

Almost.

So if your son dropped some kids off at the pool, and you're his dad, then hypothetically, he dropped your grandchildren off at the pool, and you had the privelage of helping them swim. What a great day it must've been for you.

Ah, the umblemished product of a colon with less than 10,000 dumps on the loadometer. No polyps, no spasms, no jalapenos, cheap beer or dogmeat from the $5 Chinese buffet down the street. Unfortunately, all bowels eventually learn that these too must pass.
Question; has this kid seen Star Wars? I know a couple of mine have looked like Yoda taking swimming lessons.

My TURDS, my TURDS have looked like Yoda. Not my kids. (I'm with ThreePly on the kid thing).

what the heck? crap that looks like Yoda? does that come from eating while watching Star Wars?

No, see, because the kid called it "poopin a yode", right? Then I thought...oh never mind.

Ah, children and their scheisse. I wish someone told me before I had children about the vast quantities of poop you have to deal with on a daily basis. Two days ago my five and a half month old had her first solid bm. She decided to do it in the bathtub - her first solid was a four inch perfectly cylindrical floater! I only dropped it once on the way to the bowl. Thank heavens for Clorox wipes. Almost as bad as my two-year old dropping what looked like rabbit pellets out of her diaper into our bed. I'm not sure if I'm as proud of my children's defecation as Krazykritik is of his. But I did take pictures!

Wasn't this an episode of Andy Griffith Show? If not, it should have been. I can hear whistling theme in the background.

Chuck, you slay me! How in hell did you know I think the 'Andy Griffith Show' is the worst pile of corn-filled caca ever to come out of Hollywood?

lol... so humerous

I did the math.... Quote: 'seven equal sections approximately three or four inches apiece.' Fuck me... a four foot poop out of a three yr. old is emergency room material. I was also impressed with his sculpting ability.... a four foot "yode" standing on end suggests that he had to slowly and incrementally stand up in order to keep it from snapping off. This child shows strong signs of artistic aptitude and creative lateral thinking!! You should be very proud!!

The poster above needs a remedial math course. Seven sections of 3 to 4 inches each is a range of 21 to 28 inches; a four footer would be 48 inches long. A poop ranging from 1 foot 9 inches long to 2 feet 4 inches long is certainly in the range of possibility, considering that my cat can pinch off a six incher.

Bravo, little shitter! Way to make your daddy proud!

nice story and i hate the andy grifeth show too. haha brownstain bears

Anybody here have IBS?

"That was a real massenpiece, eh, Dad?"
how.damn.cute!!!

Finally, a place where my family and I belong! Thanks guys!! :o)

I must disagree about the Andy Griffith Show. Along with Matlock it sits as one of the greats. Andy Griffith rocks. When Andy was getting too old, they just took the remaining characters from Matlock and swapped out Andy for Chuck Norris and got Walker Texas Ranger, another smash hit. Can't go wrong with Matlock, ask anyone at an old folks home.

fudgepump (anonymous coward) -- 9.3.2004
My TURDS, my TURDS have looked like Yoda. Not my kids. (I'm with ThreePly on the kid thing).

Next time you crap out a turd that looks like Yoda, could you take a picture of it and send it in? I'd LOVE to see that! ROFL

I believe the lower intestine and bowel are pretty large in diameter, so if you squeeze off a thin diameter pooship i bet it could be quite long :-)

above refers to post(s) deleted by the Uberpooper

Mutants on the loose, Daphne. IQ's equal to shoe sizes. But...look on the bright side(?); the net continues to reveal itself as a truly democratic entity, on which even six fingered inbred pond scum from the shallow end of the gene pool are free to express themselves. (No offense intended to those with extra digits who swim in the deep end). Ain't Freedom of Speech grand?!

Everyone's comments about kids making a lot of shit made me laugh. You want a lot of shit? Get a puppy. I was amazed at how much flowed out of my eight-week-old shorthair's ass.

You want to talk about dogs making alot of crap, well my bio mom once has a calico cat, named Dumpster (gee, I wonder why she named it that? *sarcasm* ) That cat was ALWAYS taking a shit on the floor of her bedroom.(probably becasue she didnt' change the litter pan nearly enough. Cats will go on the floor, if there's too many cat clumps in there.) This one time I was over, Dumpster made a thick line of pure liquid shit in her closet.My bio mom described it was ther size of a shit that a rot whiler would take. Honestly, I don't know what the general size of a rot whiller is or the size of it's shit would be, but you catch my drift that it was pretty bad. lol

A three year old produces an eleven flusher!!!

That is an achievement. Either the toilet was not working well, or your son produces "Old Ironsides" type turds.
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"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"