Sometimes you don't need 1500 words to tell a funny story. Hilarious! Poor stinky bastard

Thanks for the compliment! Just as an update, I saw this guy at a club this past Saturday, with a new chick, and I couldn't help but laugh at the thought of what this poor girl was in for.

"When he came into the bedroom I silently prayed that he wouldn't climb into bed and spoon me."

Hell, your lucky he didn't come in, lay down on his back and say "hey baby, pull down my boxers and give me some good head".

I don't know why you didn't tell him. Its really no big deal and it stops him from looking like a retard I doubt it could hurt his feelings that much.

ah doniker me ol' chum...... after reading the first few lines of this post, and realizing it was done by a female, i had to scroll down. i somehow knew that you would have made a comment. true to form, if any woman ever posts, no matter how shitty the story is, old fatfaced doniker is there to represent himself. i am sure, that in your twisted board-game of a life, that you find yourself in situations at work or in your personal life, where you can pick the exact moment when someone identifies you as a limp assed dandy-queen. its at this moment that this website become your mantra. poopreport. poopreport. poopreport. you must say that silently via controlled and meditated breath, thinking to yourself, "no matter how bad things get for me, and no matter how many people actually know what a filthy germ i am, i am a GOD on a website about POOP. this is why i am here. this is what makes me worthy of waking. this is why i am doniker." and then your self loathing and dirty knuckled hands plunge themselves back into the bag of salty and greasy snack stuff, for one more attempt to bury the pain of being a spineless toenail.

i bet your recliner is your only competition in the game of lazyfatfuckedness. i am rooting for you though buddy. keep eating, and rub some more cheese on your bloated gut; its bad for your cat, but she loves licking it off.

crappercritic, you slay me. Why are you so jealous of me?

I will check in for your reply later.....I gotta go....I'm going out for chicken wings, pizza, and beer after work!!!

i like the wings spicy, the pizza greasy, and the beer plentiful. cheers donkier.

dont overdose on the junk though, i would miss ribbing you.

in good spirits (alchololic spirits),

the one the only the critic

Great story, though I also wonder what kind of damage telling him would have done.. It's more embarrassing to have your parents tell you.

And I must add, most stories here are written by men, it's nice to see a story by a girl.

I don't know which is funnier. The poop story or Doniker and Crappercritic going at it.

Well, he was one of those guys who was very self conscious when it came to chicks. He would freak out if I didn't call him for 2-3 days. I'm sure telling him about his excremental malady would send him over the edge.

Thanks for your compliment, although there are still a couple of skeptics who still think I am a man...lol. But as the saying goes...Girls poop too! ;)

By the way, fat guys dont spoon, they ladel.

Good story Rhea- Very tactful of you to spare his feelings; he probably found out anyway, and was just mortified...I know I would be.

Mad Shittah- Good one!

Thanks Dave :) Well, I tried to put myself in his shoes. If I was a overly sensitive, insecure fat guy, I would totally shut down if the girl I was dating pointed out my unfortunate case of anal leakage. I didn't want to hurt him or make him feel like crap (pardon the pun) and I figured that his parents would tell him, which they must have, judging by how fast he dropped brown trou and jumped in the shower.

haha, that dude's a wuss. I'd have just yanked 'em off again and hopped back into bed for seconds.

"DiarRHEA Perlman" - I love your poop name.

As a fat guy who was cursed with a life of brown-streaked drawers, it is better that you didn't tell him. It would have needlessly embarrassed him. If he has a major problem, his parents probably don't talk about it either, or else it probably would have been resolved much earlier (ie, here is how to wipe your ass properly, son!). If you are lucky, like me, you find and marry a girl who is sensitive to you stink hole problem and works with you to resolve it the same way my parents should have.

Gah, how could anyone mix doodoo stained clothes like that? Hit that thing with hot water and bleach post haste!

Interesting story, but you seem kind of heartless when you talk about your old boyfriend like that. If you liked him enough to go to bed with him, then I would think you'd be a little nicer when talking about him. But also, it was a little disgusting that he put on dirty underwear instead of a clean pair, especially if he has anal leakage or something.

I feel sorry for the guy man, ouch!!!!!

DiaRHEA Perlman, just curious, what were you doing going out with a fat disgusting slob for in the first place? If a girl is going with a dirty, sweaty, out-of-shape lowlife scumbag, what does that say about her? She's probably just as disgusting and trifling herself. Funny story though!

Gross! Doesn't the guy know how to clean his asshole?!?

I love to leave skidmarks in the john bowl after
I take a dump and I'm kind of frustrated right now
because I have not left them since three days ago
but I give myself fresh hope each day that I will
because I love to look at them in admiration and
call myself Alex skidmarky mark as well as being
proud of my massive manly dumps!

Great story, brown colonic chowder...lol

Good story. I wonder where the underpants he had been wearing were...

Bunga, That line was my fav too. Funny story.
Producing waste since 1967