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Clean-up on Aisle Three!

Posted 03.05.2001 by Joe B. (10)

I work at a supermarket called Associated, where I am a stockboy. Being a stockboy, I have to deal with many strange customers, as do the other stockboys. Living in a town where most of the people are 60 or older makes my day even more exciting.

I work with this guy named Lee, who is a little slow, pretty heavy from excessive drinking, and only shaves whenever he gets his hair cut -- which means he looks like a beast 90% of the time. Lee is often the butt of many jokes.

One day an old lady was by the dairy section, grabbing the milk and orange juice. Her limbs were violently shaking and this really nasty odor came from her direction. A green liquidy turd trickled down her legs and went onto the floor of the store. Jimmy and Rob, two stockboys at the time, watched this in shock and awe as this event took place. When they told Frank, the boss, he said, "Just have Lee clean it up."

The two stockboys told to clean the mess up, not telling him what it was. Lee got some paper towels and beganneatly sopping up the crap, without looking at all disgusted.

After he was done, Rob and Jim went over to Lee and said, "Lee do you know what that was?" Lee said with his typical studder, "uhhhhhhhh yeah, it was ccccreamed spinach".

The two stockboys just laughed.

-- Joe B.

mr.poop (not verified) -- 01.31.2003

i used to work in a grocery store and it was my turn to clean the bathroom when i found that somebody wrote his name on the wall in shit!! his name was joe

alex (not verified) -- 01.31.2003

That can't be true. That's friggin nasty!

Lame comment!
someone else... (not verified) -- 06.29.2004

urrr mingin...

attorney @law (not verified) -- 08.04.2004

it is illegel for your employer to make you cleat human bodily fluids (crap too) sue him

nameless (not verified) -- 09.01.2004

is it really illegal? kroger tried to make me clean it up once... me and another new kid named james. we quit instead

The Shit Volcano (3646) -- 10.01.2004

I just feel sorry for the person who had to clean up the colostomy bag I found in a grocery store parking lot. It was in Florida, as this story sounds like it was, too.

Clear Poop (not verified) -- 03.24.2005

This is why I refused to take a job in a grocery store. Or worse, a Wal-Mart. Someone has to clean up that shit and it sure as hell won't be me!

DrLove0378 (13) -- 01.09.2006

*sigh* I may have to clean up other people's waste soon, too... I (unfortunately) work in a grocery store. One of the toilets doesn't flush, and the asshole (no pun intended) customers keep using it.

The store I used to work at was ultimately brought to an end by shit. My area was impacted by Hurricane Rita, and it screwed up the sewer infrastructure. The dire doo-doo situation just kept getting worse and worse, since no one was around for almost two weeks, to do anything about it. Oh well... nobody but the scum of the earth came in that store, anyway...

The Dumpster (2510) -- 01.09.2006

This reminds me of another person in my (true-butt-alternate) universe: My across-the-street neighbor growing up, Miss Squrtie Dook. She was sort of like Miss Maudie Anderson in "To Kill a Mockingbird," only with the plumbing all revealed.

TBW, thou Faulkner of the Farts, will appreciate some of these characters.

DungDaddy (1364) -- 09.11.2006

I too was a stock-boy. When we used to stock the dairy, if there were little kids out nin the store, we would mak "moo-ing" sounds.

I hope Lee is working with some non-pricks nowdays.

loaf pincher (72) -- 05.02.2007

how horrible but it would have been very funny to see! nice story

Miss Simone Scat (570) -- 07.26.2007

I would not want to clean up other people's poop.
Producing waste since 1967

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