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On Squalid Ground

Posted 08.21.2001 by Dave (11977)

This is the true story of a show my band (Douglas Leader) played a few weeks ago.

Our first hint of impending madness was when someone said the septic tank had broken and we weren't allowed to use the toilet. Then some girls moved their tents off the lawn because it was starting to smell. Then the ground above the septic tank grew damp.

"That's not sewage," I said of the dampness. "That's just dew." To illustrate, I ran my hands through the moisture and smelled them. Okay, so they smelled a bit. Okay, so perhaps I just ran my hands through raw sewage. That's not as gross as Pat and Joe, who danced and sang and jumped about in raw sewage for the next two and a half hours.

The stage at FWebstock 2001 consisted of platform of old splintering wood on the grass in front of the porch. The drums were set up on the platform, Pat and Joe in front of the makeshift stage and the horns safely off to the side. As it became apparent that a river was running through it, someone put planks on the ground. The planks squished into the lawn. During the show, chunks migrated up and oozed from under the planks.

The grass in front of the stage became spongy and gelatinous and percolated around us. But we played on, for our job is to rock. And although we could plainly smell what the rock was cooking, we weren't going to let mere gallons of feces get in our way.
-- Dave

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douglas leader
Joe and Jeff of Douglas Leader check out what lies beneath after perfoming directly above a leaky septic tank.

Hillbilly (42) -- 08.23.2001

This has sat here for a while and no one commented on it so let me be the first one. Thats disgusting.

Melly (63) -- 08.27.2001

Man, that's pretty nasty. Ugh, you guys are pretty hard core if you keep rocking even when surrounded by poo-mud.

Chip Brown (200) -- 08.27.2001

Hey Douglas Leader, if you wanna rock with the lords of potty punk look us up! www.geocities.com/beersoftenedstool/index.
Gotta go, just drained the enema bag......

The Shit Volcano (3817) -- 09.12.2004

When I lived in Florida our septic tank went bad. Every time someone took a shower it would ooze orange, chunky water into the backyard. Then the dogs would come by and play in it. It was disgusting!

"Poo mud", I love it.

DungDaddy (1460) -- 09.15.2006

"for our job was to rock." Spoken like a true stallion.

GottaGoGirl (2615) -- 09.15.2006

I like that the author ran his hand through the grass, but didn't want to admit to the bystanders that it smelled less like dew-dew and more like doo-doo.

Dave (11977) -- 09.15.2006

Did you happen to notice who the author was...?

The BBC, the girl in Denver, now this... DD, you're uncovering all my old moments of glory this week, aren't you?

Miss Simone Scat (570) -- 08.22.2007

Dave, Didn't your Mom tell you about playing in yards like that? LOL
Producing waste since 1967

ChiefThunderbutt (2788) -- 11.09.2009

A poorly performing septic tank and field drain once caused me to live through part of a winter with a floating turd named "Bob".


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

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