The Perils Of Public Squatting

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Editor's Note: This story originally appeared as a comment on an article about proper pooping technique.


I discovered a long time ago without anyone telling me that squatting is a more fitting
shitting-position than sitting. Just be careful not to fall into a hazard I incurred!

In college I first learned to squat -- and thereby mitigate messy wipings, cramps, and,
often, constipation. I learned to do it even in public potty stalls. I was precarious
at first, but I learned to take off my pants and panties, stand on the potty rim and
squat and dump my poop. It was my routine way of doing it, and it never caused any
problem until I returned to my hometown after college.

There I went into my favorite department store, the place of some of my fondest
memories from childhood, the place of fondest-remembered Christmas shopping where those
"visions of sugarplums" really danced in my head bigtime back then. While in that store
on returning from college, I had to poop, and naturally sought out a bathroom to use
with my preferred squatting technique. I found one.

It had two stalls, but one was out of service, the john completely removed at the time.
I thought that would only increase my solitude in using the one functioning stall. How
wrong I was! I got into that stall, locked the door, bared my lower half, got up on the
rim, squatting to let go a healthy poo.

As it was oozing out a loud commotion suddenly erupted as a group of loud-mouthed
little girls burst into the room. One came vigorously shaking the stall door trying to
open it, and announced loudly, "It's locked". Another smartily replied, "Well, crawl
under it!"

Suddenly I was panicking about this troop of cussing brats, realizing they were about
to crawl under and see me in an unconventional pooping act. It quickly occurred to me
for the first time ever that my position, leaving no feet visibly hanging down, could
indeed give someone the illusion that the locked stall was unoccupied. Still these
kids' aggressive invasiveness was over-the-top -- well, uh you know what I mean,
literally under the bottom but still over-the-top in the sense I mean it. I had to do
something about it and fast.

I jumped down to the floor, trying in the process to aim the now mostly-out-of-my-ass
turd into the bowl. It missed, landing on the floor. By then, two girls had their heads
under the door. The one closest to where my turd fell cried out, "The bitch is trying
to shit in my face!" The one farther in front of her from my perspective just let out a
blood-curdling yell that must have been audible all over the store.

Soon a bunch of people rushed into the bathroom to see what was happening. Seems both
men and women were present, for whatever that's worth, but in the terror my memory
could have failed me. One of the girls had by now unlocked the stall door and flung it
open. There I was standing for a crowd to see, bare from the waist down, my pants and
panties hanging on a hook, my big turd on the floor, its remains squeezed messily
between my butt cheeks, and a mob of little girls screaming hysterically about me.

The first thing some employees did was to seize my pants and pocketbook for a while (to
inspect for suspicion of shoplifting, I was later begrudgingly told). Everybody yelling
at once didn't seem to subside for the eternity after which my pants were finally
brought back and I was told in a most hostile voice to put the back on. Once I did, I
was escorted by a mob of employees to the store office, one woman feeling like she was
about to pinch off my arm at the elbow.

Getting there, I found the police had been called. I was sternly talked down to, given
no chance to defend myself in any way or explain I had by no means tried to
intentionally poop on anybody. I'm sure when my turd fell, it couldn't have hit
anybody's face, as I clearly remember the two girls crawling face-down at that time;
anything that hit would have been in back. But one girl produced evidence of poop on
her forehead, which she must have smeared there.

It ended with me being told I was forever banned from that store and never to return,
and that I was darned lucky no one was pressing charges. Thus some of my once-fondest
childhood memories were forever sullied, all because I'd learned to do something a
healthier way.

-- Cheryl

49 Comments on "The Perils Of Public Squatting"

Thunder From Down Under's picture
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Wow, sorry that happened. You open your mind to new things, and little brats that don't know the decency of knocking before entering ruin it all.

Jen's picture
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Sorry that happened, but I laughed so hard I cried, that was fucking hilarious!!

doniker's picture
j 1000+ points
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The one closest to where my turd fell cried out, "The bitch is trying to shit in my face!" It's been a long time since I laughed this hard!!!!

Jen's picture
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OMG!!! I had to come back and read it again! YES!!! "One of the girls had by now unlocked the stall door and flung it open. There I was standing for a crowd to see, bare from the waist down, my pants and panties hanging on a hook, my big turd on the floor, its remains squeezed messily between my butt cheeks,"

That's the best part!

Trashcanman's picture
l 100+ points
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stories like this put poopreport on the map in the first place. It is amazing that things like this even happen, let alone being able to acess so many at the touch of a button. In the days of yonder things like this happened once in a lifetime. But now, we can share these crazy stories with everyone!

***************'s picture
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I thought that the story I have ever heard and boy have I heard a lot. Keep up the good stories!

Troy's picture
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Well this is the problem I alluded to in the "Zen and the art of stall picking (Asia)". The locals here in Singapore and other parts of Asia who have grown up as squatters but now work in western style office buildings often stand on the rim to poo. I hate this practice as they rarely take off their shoes and leave marks/dirt on the rim. That is why I suggested in my story that the toilet rims be waxed to make it to slippery to do this!!! Ha ha ha.

They really treated you terribly! Seems like most people are too small minded to understand anything other than what is "the norm" and coddle misbehaving kids...

Anyhow if the embarrassment is too much to bear you could always move to Asia and it would solve all your problems....

Squat in Peace,

Troy

Jeff B's picture
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one can only imagen what one looks like crouching over the toilet with your feet clamping the outer rim.

this story was so hilarious i laughed so hard it made me throw up on my cat.

Andrew's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Sucked For You,not your fault, she crawled under the stall door, should have told them that!!!!

Anthony's picture
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That had to be embarising, you should e-mail me and tell me more. I got a kick out of this story.

Orchid's picture
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Hilarious! That was one of the funniest stories I have hever heard! Sorry you had that misfortune though. ^_~

anonymous's picture
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that little girl who smeared the poop musta been some loser i mean honestly what b*tch would smear poo on her forehead just for that thats just plain nasty but damn how old were those girls they sound like stuck up sh*theads

Ima Pseudonym's picture
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Oh, you poor baby! To undergo such trauma is one thing, but to have it coupled with a nostalgic visit to a place venerated in your memory is simply unforgivable! I must admit, though, that I found the entire story very funny.

bob butthole's picture
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allright 1 question if one of thse stupid brats got the door open by picking the lock, y did they try to crall under?????

Robert's picture
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Geez, I hate those girls, just barging in on you like that. If I were you I would have yelled at those girls before they could do any harm. ("GET THE F AWAY, IM TAKING A SHIT!!!")

T.'s picture
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Thank you for being so brave and sharing this with us. I am about to hurt myself shaking my head and laughing at the same time. I don't know what else to say - good luck , and may you always find a perch when Nature calls.

bh's picture
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why didn't you say anything when you heard them?

Randy's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Those little-girl rodents actually got sh*t-faced, eh? Served 'em right!!!

sn's picture
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I find that if you sit very upright when conducting your business, you derive many of the benefits of squatting without any of the perils or discomfort. Since I started doing this I have been able to dispose of my solid personal waste in a a much more trouble free manner.

Loafaholic's picture
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Epic!

bigintestinedgirl's picture
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The one closest to where my turd fell cried out, "The bitch is trying to shit in my face!"

at that point in your story tears started streaming down my face...the quote is priceless

Dad's picture
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My family and I live in the country Mom and I have two children. We also have three dogs,a miniature Dachshound and two Catahoulas. Everybody knows about wenner dogs so we will just skip Tiny. Most of you that read this have never heard of or seen a catahoula. Catahoulas are as strange as their name oficaly Lousiana Catahoula Leapard Dog the state dog of Louisiana. My daughter does not like to wait to GO! Annyway every time she takes a crap in the woods Doc and Patches end up rubbing it all over my legs,wich has become quite embarasing for me on several ocasions. The most suckiest thing about finnaly finding out where the smell was coming from is when youre talking to a customer!

Katie's picture
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OOH...thats terrible.Verry verry sorry that happened.You poor poor thing.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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I official curse those girls to thirty years hard constipation.

As for the others not giving you a chance to speak, it's just an example of the true America. Guilty until proven innocent, and they'll never let you prove it.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

DungDaddy's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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Funnier than hell story. Too bad she didn't think up some wonderful plan of revenge.

Shittin' Susan's picture
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Last month I was at our civic center for a Billy Joel concert. Because it was sold out and there would be so many parking hassles, I tried to be proactive by stopping in the bathroom on the way in to take the crap that I had been holding for more than an hour in the Interstate/rush hour traffic. As soon as the first stall came open, I grabbed it and I had my jeans and panties already down and the first of my logs coming before I hit the seat and then I latched the door that locked me into my secure cubicle.

I don't remember what drew my attention to the toilet to my left except that the door opened, closed and I saw a lady's right foot come dangerously close to the side panel of my stall and just stay planted there. Then I saw the foot move in and then I could see the top of a mid-20s lady's head protrude over the top of the stall. Initially, it teetered a bit as if it was going to come up even higher and perhaps scan into my stall and the solitary activity as I sat with my jeans and panties down taking a shit.
Next there was a ferocious noise as something which I later determined to be balls of shit hit the water hard and even left some splash marks which slowly ran down the small recessed area that led to the drain in my stall. Again, I could see the woman's head towering easily above the confines of the stall as additional crap dropped into the stool, often with a well-timed cadance. Next I heard her feet drop back to the floor and again her right foot protruded a little bit under my stall's side panel. I heard her pull off toilet paper, wipe, and then reposition herself so she could flush with her foot. She missed the flusher the first time when he foot came down so hard that she seemed to have lost her balance and I could hear her fall/or brush up against the stall petition that we shared. Then she scored with a complete flush.

I later recognized the sheer dumbditude of this lady who stood up on the toilet bowl, squatted her crap into the toilet, and with her acrobatics, and in towering over most of the other stalls, was able to invade the privacy of at least a dozen other women, including a few children.

I only did a year of college a couple of years ago, but I know that the actuary who works at the insurance company that employs me, would cringe at the lengths this woman went to and the chances she took, in standing ON and hovering OVER the toilet! Why she wouldn't sit down the NORMAL way like NORMAL people do is beyond me. I do remember an Intro to Business class I took and a unit we had on litigation. Our professor spent a whole day lecturing about the "reasonable person test/standard" that should apply to situations like this. I remember that when you take chances and do something that just isn't normal, you are not going to be able to sue for or collect damages.

I sit down to shit and pee like most other normal people. Standing on the bowl or seat to hover is not only an invasion of the privacy of myself and those in nearby stalls, but an insane risk that I have a difficulty fathoming. I had a friend in high school who would lift the seat and hover but her feet never left the restroom floor. On the other hand, however, we also had girls who would sit right down in the urine on the seats of the stalls that we avoided. However, the aerial hovering concept is new to me and, as I and most normal people see it, an act of deliberate dumbditude!

Miss Simone Scat's picture
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_?? Now I am curious to try squatting and see if the technique is better....LOL ______
Producing waste since 1967

Producing waste since 1967

Comfort Queen's picture
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I'm with Shittin' Susan, the concept is dumb and idiotic and I remember once last summer I peed by hovering at an interstate rest stop because the seat was so gross and it didn't look like the ladies in the other stalls would be leaving anytime soon. What doesn't, however, work for me is the pooping. I just can't get it to come out but as soon as I sigh and decide to sit down (my normal procedure) I can fully release my bowels, and usually within 15 or 20 seconds. For me, comfort is more important than trying to protect myself from dastardly diseases that I really don't believe exist.

Anomalous Coward's picture
k 500+ points
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I feel really bad for you Cheryl, but I'm so glad stupid stuff like this happens to people other than me. I was beginning to think I had the market cornered.

Down & Dumping's picture
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I'm in agreement with Shittin' Susan: public toilet squatters like Cheryl are deserving of all humiliation and any injury they bring to themselves. First, stepping out of your clothing and underwear in a public stall is stupid SELF-IMPOSED HUMILIATION. Second, when I have to use a public restroom and that's usually once or twice a day, my philosopy is to sit down, take the pee or dump, wipe and exit as fast as possible. My mom taught me about six years ago when I started high school to keep my underwear up at stool level so that less is being exposed (we had several stall peekers at my high school and I hated those girls with a passion but since they were mostly freshmen I just concluded they didn't know any better). My former boy friend said they would probably be the future perverts! Third, I always latched the door completely and I even now in college, I can't imagine a mature person trying to crawl under a door and enter a stall. Where all the wackos like Cheryl come from I don't know. They give all of us normal girls and women a bad name!

AnnaMarie's picture
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The "perils" of squatting in public toilets is what is left behind. Many times that means urine liberally spashed on the seat. Often that means wasted toilet paper over a seat that is never sat on and less or no toilet paper available for us who sit down and then seek to wipe. Sometimes that means a longer wait for a toilet for someone like me to sit down, completely pee and be out of the stall within a minute. Occasionally, it means they drag young children in with them and I fear that the next generation will demonstrate the same stupid habits they have been taught. I say sit down, let it out, wipe and exit. Anything else is unnecessary and causes not only longer lines but more upset restroom users.

The Thunderous Crapper 63's picture
k 500+ points
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See again turd terrorism is appropriate here. I would have simply said OCCUPIED in a loud voice. If they tried to go under I would say OCCUPIED again. The third time is STRIKE THREE now you have invaded the Crappers airspace prepare for war. I mean is that girl on the outside that stupid. Did she honestly think that someone latched the door from the inside and slid out? I would have shit all over her no doubt. Cheryl there are plenty of other stores to shop at out there so dont be upset. That girl deserved to get shit on you were too nice to her. She sure did cause you a lot of trouble. Maybe one day you will see her getting out of her car in a store parking lot somewhere. May it be unlocked, may you go over open the door and squat releasing a nice hot steaming dump and may it be 100 degrees in the shade. Now THAT my friends is NUCLEAR turd terrorism.
_______
The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

AHHHHHEMMMMMMMMMM JUST CLEARING MY THROAT!! ;)

Reformed Squatter's picture
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Last week, at 21, I became a reformed squatter. At the advice of my mom when I started 5th grade in middle school, I began putting toilet paper over the seat. At first, it was frustrating because it would fall off and sometimes the blower in the bathroom was right above my stall and that didn't help keeping the paper on. And I was a leper, of sorts, because my friends continued to sit right down on the toilet. In high school, for whatever reason, there would frequently be urine on the seats; my friends would most of the time just wipe it off and sit down. However, upon the advice of my mother, I started to squat. She showed me how, helped me practice at home, and initially it hurt me but I later got the hang of how to position myself which allowed for greater comfort. Again, few of my friends went to such an extreme. My best friend would often sit down, have a satisfying poop or pee, and then ask me to hand her toilet paper because she had forgotten to check. That happened quite frequently and she was a 4.0-plus and #3 in our graduating class, when I struggled to maintain a B average! In college, I continued to squat and most of my dormmates and friends thought nothing of simply sitting down.

The 650-mile trip of driving home for the summer last week and the fatique I was feeling simply sapped me of my squatting habit. At the first Interstate rest stop toilet in Illinois I simply pulled me jeans down, dropped my panties and produced a much-overdue shit. While initially awkward, the contour of the seat was a perfect match for my butt. I must have sat at least five minutes longer just thinking about my accomplishment: a full bowl. In each of the three stops I made to pee, I was overtaken by the ease of just sitting down and letting my body fluids extract themselves. Such comfort! Yesterday, at the mall I peed and was in and out in less than two minutes. To me, squatting is an insane choice to make.

Daughter- in -Law's picture
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I never gave much thought to the public squatters until I got married two years ago. At that point, I found that my mother-in-law is a squatter. Worst yet, she's as good at it as she is putting me down for sitting right down and doing what I need to do. She literally gasped when she heard me drop the seat and sit down to pee at a Cubs game. I was done, up and flushed within two minutes, and was outside washing my hands when she joined me at the sinks and started one of her "Honey, I couldn't help but notice that you...." speeches. Then she told me how she always went the "extra mile" with Michael when he was young so that he would be "taught right". When I asked Michael he said she would take him into the ladies room with her until he was almost nine, pick the stall for him, and put paper on the seat for him before he sat down to crap. More frequently when he had to pee, she would take him to a stall and remind him not to "touch anything." It just gags me to learn how Michael was abused by his mother. When he was out with a friend and the friend had to go through the womens bathroom ritual, he would frequently get teased about "not touching anything." I've told him that if we ever have a son, I want Michael to teach him the importance of "touching". Unaimed pee on public toilet seats is about as popular as my mother-in-laws warped views and put downs.

Suzanne's picture
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What Daughter-in-Law describes is something that can impact several generations of a family. Imagine what it can do to grandchildren when one set of adults teach them one thing and another set tells the child he/she is not being taught right. Add in children from other families who want to do things with their friends and how they get put into the middle. An eight or nine-year-old child can get really frustrated by such mixed messages and the frequent put-downs.

I spent a lot of time, especially summers, with my grandparents and it involved a good amount of travel because they were very well off financially. Like Michael, I was in the middle and would get increasingly frustrated. Statements went like this: "I know you have to urinate, Suzanne, but we don't use public restrooms at places like this because they are too dirty." "Only a really cheap person would sit directly on a public toilet seat, you should just wait until you get home." My mom, on the other hand, would sit right down and let it rip. When we were traveling at places like airports, highway rest stops, etc. she would coax me to sit down and try to go because the next opportunity might be 25 miles or an hour away.

So many of my friends from school would sit right down in public and think nothing of it. By time I reached high school, I had a couple of friends who squatted and one even remarked that she would NEVER sit on a public toilet seat. When I was with her, I would be sure to put toilet paper on the seat first, but once when we were in a convenience store restroom, another friend made the off-handed remark that I was "killing trees and contributing to toilet clogs".

I'm in my late 20s and most of the time I directly sit down, with the exception of airplanes and porta-potties when I squat. I don't try to harass my six-year-old daughter because I want using public bathrooms to be a comfortable experience for her. My nine-year-old stepson often complains that there's urine on the seats, but I've told him to just wipe it off before sitting down.

Mistee's picture
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The posting of Daughter-in-Law is troubling to me. I have a mother-in-law just like that, too. It is a very devisive and adversarial situation when we are out together and my daughter, who is 8, is put down by Grandma for basically doing what 8-year-olds do in a public bathroom: sit down, pee or shit, without micro-analyzing the situation. Yes, Grandma squats and makes a big deal of how righteous she is and how no "normal" woman would want to sit directly on a public toilet seat. She did her best to put fear into my husband and his younger brother about the evils of using the bathroom at school--so much so, in fact, that they both suffered from constipation. It was one thing to hold their crap during the school day but then with athletics after school, holding their shit in until they got home at 6 or 7 p.m. was way out of line. I went to the same high school and that's where I met my husband during our senior year. I have an MBA and not a law degree, but I believe raising children to fear using a school bathroom is a form of child abuse. And boys, squatting to shit at school in toilets without stall doors, sets them up for great abuse from their peers. Our daughter is eight and our message to her is sit right down, do your thing, flush, wash your hands and we're going to be proud of you.
Those teaching children to fear public bathrooms and squat are sick.

Privacy Please Paula's picture
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Each of us has been taught or has a differing procedure for how we use restrooms when we are away from home. Of all the posts, Down & Dumping (5.18.2007) seems to make the most sense. That is also exactly what my Mom taught me, although it was quite a few years before high school that I learned that keeping your underwear up at stool level will cut down on what peekers see of you. What Cheryl was trying to do is beyond belief, but we never learn WHY she got into the habit of taking her pants and panties completely off and standing on the rim? My boyfriend, who was visiting when I was reading the posting, votes "insanity."

Proud to Poo's picture
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Well, really!!!
All these opinions... Surely you should just do what you do and let others do the same?
Remember that squatting is how our bodies are designed to "let it out" and sitting is a recent innovation and brings considerable health risks.
Just have consideration for those that follow and clean up after yourself whether you stand, sit or squat.
Learn what sitting does to your body:
naturesplatform.com

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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Proud, I made your link html workable, because that's a snazzy website, there.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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Proud to poo.......Thanks for a great website, Daphne....thanks for making the link workable. Lots of good information available there.

My first few years in Japan I lived in a typical Japanese house and used a squatter.
I was happy when we finally moved into a home with a sit down shitter. Now I could
take my morning paper with me and spend some quality time relaxing on the throne.

Today I must use a urinary catheter several times a day because I am unable to completely empty my bladder. No really big deal but an inconvenience. After visiting Proud to poo's recommended site I wonder if I had continued the squatting all my life and left the newspaper on the breakfast table would this problem have developed?

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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I wonder - if one didn't have to squat completely but instead had a "shorter" toilet, if the results would be the same. Maybe the answer is to just have toilets closer to the ground level but still able to handle a couple of butt cheeks.

By the way, Chief, if you have a recipe for cucumber kimchi, send it. If it's the same as the cabbage one, let me know. One of my favorite things to do is to use cucumber along with those giant, white radish roots, salt, and red pepper, and let it sit in the fridge until potent. Maybe it's time to let it ferment.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Kelby's picture
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Is the number of postings above about the insane things done by the likes of Cheryl, among the others, truly indicative of the members of our gender who have been indoctrinated 'not to' or have become fearful of not sitting on public toilets? How many of us have been in stalls next to situations like that which Shittin' Susan (05.15.07) described? I might be naive, but at 28, isn't it better to sit directly on the seat rather than risk by standing up over the rim or seat--hopeful of maintaining your balance, towering above the stall partitions and potentially being accused of violating the privacy of any other users nearby? One of the writers coined the word "dumbditude". It gets my vote in describing the extreme squatters.

Inspector Pu P. Stayne's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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It's a shame public restrooms are not equipped with at least one or two "little shitters", which, as Daphne mentioned, are short toilets commonly found in daycare centers and some elementary schools. These toilets are short enough to allow toddlers to sit on the toilet with their feet on the floor. An adult sitting on a toilet like this would be seated, but positioned the same as squatting. If public restrooms had some stalls equipped with these toilets the people like Cheryl could opt for one of them, thus eliminating what she encountered. By the way, Cheryl, I feel bad for you, not only because of the unfair treatment you received, but an experience like that could leave a person traumatized for life, possibly even with a phobia of public bathrooms.

Postman's picture
k 500+ points
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First, where were these kids parents ?
Second, I would have climbed up, hung my ass over the top of the stall, and dropped my load right on top of them.

It's a shame the police were actually called. Don't they have better things to do?

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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I have tried squatting; didn't like it; didn't feel well emptied out; but I will try it again. Cheryl's experience was so bad primarily because it was out of her control--not her bowels, which did as she asked (except for aim), but her "company" in the restroom, which was unruly, unmannerly, undisciplined. Cheryl--good story! Keep on doing what you do and don't be intimidated.

RSM's picture
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As a realistic shitter and mom, I feel Mistee in her posting of 10.06.2007 makes an excellent point: "and boys, squatting to shit at school, in toilets without stall doors, sets them up for great abuses from their peers."

The issue came up last fall when my youngest son, ll, started middle school. He would go into the school bathroom at about lunch time for his daily crap and find each of the five or six stalls lacked doors, had seats dripping from pee, and often with all the toilet paper used up. Other boys were more accepting of it, I guess, and in passing, he mentioned it to my mother when she came to visit at Christmas. She told him she squats to both pee and crap and that she has done it for more than 50 years. She explained to him how to do it and he says he has practiced a few times at home, but I told him he would likely be ridiculed at school for doing it. The other boys apparently think nothing of sitting in the urine of the previous users.

I asked my daughter--who is 16--about her high school and she said most of the stalls have doors, most of the girls sit right down on the seat, but that a few line toilet paper over the front and sides of the seat first. She just sits right down and has no problem with that.

To me, if the choice for my son is squatting and being ridiculed or sitting in someone else's urine and not being totally comfortable, I'd suggest the latter. Why must their be so many "perils" to daring to be different.

Mother of Four's picture
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I have four children in the public schools. Their ages are eight thru seventeen and they are unanimous in using a third option that RSM doesn't mention: holding it! Although the oldest drives herself to high school, the 3 p.m. pickups I do with my sons involve no errands. They come directly home where they sometimes argue as to who's going in first to use our single bathroom. One of my friends remarked that at least they are "regular" crappers and not constipated. Too bad they have to hold it in for several hours, but they're not about to crap in front of a couple dozen of their peers in an open stall.

shitake boy's picture
l 100+ points
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I will never squat to crap. I like to sit to shit. I have done it that way all my life, and I am not going to change now. Shitting is meant to be done sitting on the toilet, not squatting or hovering above it.

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In search of the ever evasive BM

In search of the ever evasive BM

Sitter For Sure's picture
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I'm with Kelby. Often when I pick my 7-year-old daughter up at school to go out shopping or on other errands, if she smells (and sometimes she does from holding it!), at our first stop I will take her into the restroom and I take one stall, she takes another and we have what we call "down time". Otherwise, she would continue to carry her crap around all afternoon and evening and probably think little of it.

Why she can't discipline herself to use the breaks at school more effectively I don't know. She often won't even go into the bathroom, sit down or try to go because of the crowd and the fact that recess-next is the bigger draw.

Regarding the squatting: I tried it once when I didn't want to sit on the toilet in a really dirty gas station. It hurt me too much and within 30 seconds I sat down. I have no real interest in the future suggesting it to Mandy.