I had just ate stir fry at my friend's house, and now we were at a park. We were just talking about girls and stuff when all of a sudden I got this HUGE -- I mean HUGE -- cramp.

I told my friend what was the matter and he said, "Do you want to go to my house?" I said, "I can't wait that long!"

Well, I spotted a port-a-potty. I ran like lighting to the crapper, but it was closed. I said a lot of four-letter words. But the port-a-potty was next to a fire station, so we went in there.

The guys did let me use the crapper. I groaned so loud that my friend and some fire men came rushing in. They were like "are you ok?" Right then and there I pushed out a monster turd. All the guys were saying sorry. I said it was ok.

I wiped and noticed that my turd was 18" long, 2" thick. It took three flushes to go down.

-- Peter