"I discovered that there was a structural flaw near my rectal area comprising what had been up until this time a seal adequate to contain my fury."

funny!

sounds like you need to add some pepto to your next batch of Mockel

Dear lord, what did you do to anger the Poop Gods so?

Great story! Your writing is truly masterful. Also, I like the sound of your homebrew. What a deadly combination - I'm sure in other circumstances Mockel must be quite charming.

Good story. Nice use of "hull breach" and "pantaloons" in the same sentence. Probably a real rarity in literary works. I'm sure Tube Steak Doniker will be here shortly to say your story sucked.

LOL this story is the best (great style, Mockel)

btw, how did you come up with the name Mockel? Also, is it your own concoction? I used to do a bit of homebrewing myself...it makes your house stink

I've read alot of stories on this site, but none that I can remember that include pooping AND falling. When I pictured this turn of events in my mind, I couldn't imagine being so unfortunate.
Good story!

Some of you people...God. I really hope that it was the beer that caused that rupture. Otherwise I would have to ask if this has happened before. After reading this site for a while I just can't understand why some people just explode. I've only come CLOSE to shitting myself ONCE (see: Doorstep Deposit 1-30-04). What is with this? If I shit myself I wouldn't know what I would do. The smell...the feel...ugh. I suggest that all you guys start bringing coffee cans and toilet paper for emergencies. Good story though...

Horrible! You all are stupid. This is the worst writing I have ever seen. Allusions and metaphors only look stupid if you doesn't knows how you use them. I cant believe some of you would compliment this. This is pathetic. "C Everett Poop" you must have not gone to a college. Or if you did you did not go to a good one. "in the bushes" says your work is a literrary masterpiece. I say it is otherwise. This isnt good style "shit reaper" you should know this. Every one that writes on this website should at least make they're stories clear enough so that they can be understood, easily by all. I am not trying to sound snobby I am just trying to help out future writers by giving them sound advice. Great website.

How do you add caffeine to a brew? Do you buy the stuff in pure form or do you have to add coffee or something? Because if it's the latter, I pity your taste buds.

If Mockel suggests a canoe trip, you might want to excuse yourself and run away. I probably wouldn't go on many bird watching expeditions with him either

Great story! but sorry not going camping with you

This story was really funny and great. Neal Pais is a stupid loser who doesn't know good writings if it shot up his butt. I think this is one of the best stories i've read.(Mockel) Ha Ha!

Dear Neil Pais,

To quote your critical commentary......

"I cant believe some of you would compliment this."
First, it's can't and not cant.
Second, some of you would compliment this? We have already complimented this. So, to be more exact, it should be "some of you have complimented this". That is an ambiguous statement.

"Or if you did you did not go to a good one."
First, this would read better by leaving the introductory Or out of the sentence.
Second, the whole sentence stinks. It's a combination of monosyllabic gutterations that make you seem like you're in the sixth grade.

"Every one that writes on this website should at least make they're stories clear enough so that they can be understood, easily by all."

First, every one should be everyone.
Second, they're should be their.
Third, if you are going to use a comma to offset a thought, like as in easily, it should have been either:
understood, easily, by all.
or:
understood easily by all.

And, as we all know, I only completed two and a half years at Case Western Reserve because I discovered pot and, subsequently, smoked myself out of school. What did you discover? It certainly wasn't the Elements of Style by Strunk and White.

No offense, but how dare you criticize anyone that submits a story when your grammar is lacking? I hope, and I do mean hope, that I am the idiot and your rambling was a joke; because if it wasn't, then you seriously believe what you wrote was grammatically correct. That, by the way, was a compound complex sentence. It was from a pooping pothead. If you weren't aware of that fact, where do YOU fall on the intelligence chart?

3 things...

1. Fun story
2. Neal Pais, are you kidding me? jerk
3. Note to self...never piss off Daphne!

Amen........mud

Hey Neal Pais, gargle my taint. How's that for proper English?

mockel recipe
10 gallons

13lbs dried malt extract
1lb 120 crystal malt
.5lb chocolate malt
.5lb roasted malt
.25lb black patent malt
6 cups whole bean coffee (ground with grains)
1.5oz cascade hops (boiling)
1.5oz northern brewers (flavor)
1oz liberty (aroma)

english ale yeast

Coffee tastes much like roasted barley. Most people won't notice until you tell them. The crowd will never run out of energy with this brew.

clearly a repeat, i have heard of and experienced this a number of time thank you c.everett for pointing this out

people who nitpick are obvoiusly overcompesating for something in their life which is lacking.

They spend hours learning to be critical, but they are not satisfied with their lives. Therefore, they try to drag others down, hoping they will be equally miserable.

This makes me think of the play "My Fair Lady." I say if you are going to talk about a fair lady, it had better be a Nissan Z car.

Neil Pais' comments were an obvious joke. A pretty funny one, too, I think. He got you all!

I think "gargle my taint" is the funniest thing I've read this month.

I was rowdy drunk last night, Mudpusher, so I seemed like a real bitch. I want to apologize for going off the deep end. There is no end to my embarrassment.

Hot Damn! This story makes my colostomy bag hard!!

Not looking for an apology, you were awsome!

Uh oh, seems I'm drinking today, too. Unpacking is thirsty work, matey.

Happiness is a slimey shitty story. Neal might be more comfortable knealing else where, scum sucking up tight yuppie butt wad!!! Daphne, you always manage to brighten my day, thank you.

Just re-read Pais' post 2 or 3 times and have concluded that DumpNJump is correct. Too many obvious errors in one post. My first reaction was the same as yours, Daphne and, like you, I hope for HIS sake that all that horrible structure and usage was intentional. If not, maybe poor Neil is due a tuition refund.

oops! Forgot my whole moniker.
(P.S. Sorry for the spelling, Neal)

Daphne is a cum guzzling slut

How dare you say I guzzle!

I rest my case

Hehehehehehe.

I only say that cuz i want you to guzzle mine. MMM...how about it?

Ew. We're crossing a line somewhere, but I just can't seem to place it................

Gee Daphne, Deuce, could I join ya?

Run, Kenny, run while you still have time.

Whats going on here? Cum? guzzling? crossing lines? and who's this Kenny chacater?

Ahem, as I said before, I do not guzzle.

Deuce Fan is just having a moment. I have been brought along for the ride!

So you saying, I mean what I hear you saying is that you don't guzzle, am I hearing this right? If you don't guzzle what do you do? and could you describe it in detail, I'm kinda slow....

Only if I can see your hands above the table................

Ha,ha,ha,ha, I don't do that much anymore, I swear I wear glasses cause I'm nearsighted, but II'd still like to know.

Ha,ha,ha,ha, I don't do that much anymore, I swear I wear glasses cause I'm nearsighted, but I'd still like to know.

Sorrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyy guuuuuuuyyyyyyyyyyssssssss, I don't know how that happened.

Yes, we do.

Your one hand was above the table, and your other had wasn't, so you were typing with one and made a bunch of typos whilst spanking the large one.

I don't spank, I get spanked.

Nothing like doing a doody in the swamp! Is that why they call it the Tar Heel state?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!! :: falls over laughing at big doodie head's joke :: LOL too much caffine and sugar here as well :P

Watch your step in the Tar Heel State!

Dave is a Cum Guzzling whore

Make sure you delete the post above Dave....like you just deleted several others....

So called liberal Fag.

Hey Deuce, how cum you seem to know who guzzles cum and who don't?

Cuz Dookie dog tells me...

Eat a big fat maggot infested turd Deuce.

MMM.....YUMMY...Point me to it!!

Cool! My last name is a fatal drink! Dude, seriously. My last name is Mockel. Where did you get the name, man?!?

Where can I get a can of that stuff?