"This time, a marker tip peaks through. I can feel it writing against my boxer briefs..."

That's beautiful writing baby.

Eh, I'd say your step dad gets my vote for the better story. I think I would've dominated one of the school johns instead of the painstaking trek home.

Yeah, why didn't you just go at the uni? Would have saved a lot of trouble.

Nevertheless, I'm picturing a large fat boy made out of chocolate cannonballing off the high dive. He explodes on impact...

Have you ever seen the movie "National Lampoons: Van Wilder"? Your story is very similar to a scene that happen in the movie.

I liked the "shit marker" line too, the story was going along good, then it fizzled out big time.

Maybe the reason my stepson and I have never been close is because we don't use shitting as a common bond.

No offense, but since when is "Mudd" legendary here on Poop Report? Am I missing something?

The term "legendary" implicates a certain status obtained over a period of time. I know of several PR's past and present that I consider "legendary".

I can't say Mudd is one of them. Sorry.

-AP

Ass Phlegm (I know you currently hate my guts), I picked up on that too, but didn't say anything.

but then again I am legendary and most Poopreporters hate me....

Everybody that visits this site needs to read the final paragraph. That grade of humor has been missing from the last few posts.

No, I am not legendary on PR - however having lived with Mudflinger - I have to admit I cannot hold a candle to sheer volume and more important - the fucking nastiest smelling shits he can produce. Mudflinger once took a shit and a full three hours later I went into the bathroom and the smell was still ghastly. I am a proud man today.

Hmmmm. Just wondering if Mudd and Mudflinger are the first documented father and son poop reporting team on this site. Like father, like son and so forth.

Doniker, glad I wasn't the only one who picked up on that. I just think that term gets thrown around so loosely sometimes.

And no, I don't hate your guts. I, like you, speak my mind and either people deal with it or they don't. That's why I'm comfortable commenting to you about things you write. I know that you know where I'm coming from. In some ways we are quite alike.

No grudges here mate. Just give TBW some slack. (or don't...it's a free world).

Anyways, TBW brings up a good point. Is this the first father/son team on Poop Report? Inquiring minds want to know!

-AP

That story reminds me of when I took my own school exams. The anxiety poo bubble burst right at the end of it and I stupidly used the nearest school lavatory.

After a sucessful bottom purge, all I had to wipe up with is that pathetic excuse for paper that I'm sure the art department uses for tracing.

So I can semi-understand why Muddflinger went home to poo in comfort. :s

I believe we've had surprisingly few tag-teams of any nature, father-son or otherwise. I kinda expect friends to be on the site trying to one-up each other, but it rarely hppens -- usually there's only one hardcore PoopReporter in any group of people.

Although wasn't Dodger's sister on for a while?

And man... if we could get Doniker's kid...

Dave, I'm not sure about Dodger's sister, but his fiance, Firelox, has been in the Chat Room, where some of us have gotten to know her very well, and Dodger introduced her to the site officially in his hilarious 'Whiskey Trots Two For One' poop stories forum post. (Scroll back to p. 2, I believe.) The two of them did a 'He Said, She Said' version of that particularly story and had us all ROTFLOAO.

Also: Dr. Adams and his fiance have been in the Chat Room entertaining us as well.

Is anyone else bothered by the fact that "doniker" mentioned his stepson? I can't believe someone married him, thinking it was a good idea to have him raise her kids. Wow, what a dumb bitch she must be. That kid is gonna grow up to be one sick fuck. I always thought Doniker was a 13 year old little boy.

hey cornhole, you may insult me all you want, but don't put down other members of my family.

Do you really think that if I spoke my mind and said the things that I do on PoopReport that I could function in society? Beleive me, if you knew me in real life you would never in a million years know I was "doniker".

thanks Dave.

someone thinks they are REALLY funny. i think they are REALLY uncreative.

this is another reason why everyone that posts on this site should have to be registered.

Dave may have flushed the toilet bowl this time, but yous still a homo doniker

well then suck my dick poopybutt, and we will be homos together

Back to the subject. I think my father, if he were still alive, would have loved this website. He was a man of impeccable dress, politeness and manners. Law school educated, sucessful in business, community and church, nobody from outside our family ever would have guessed that he was the originator of some of the most disgusting (and funny) bathroom stunts I have ever witnessed.
He would frequently announce "time to read the sports page" while heading for the can. Next would be the rustling of newspaper followed by a few heavy sighs and a fart that sounded like the hiss of an earthmover with a slashed tire. Often there would be splattering coupled with grunts and moans that could have come from an amputation procedure before the advent of modern anesthesia. My father would emerge after 3-4 flushes with a huge grin allways offering commentary on whatever had taken place. Such gems as "I can't remember swallowing a whole kielbasa," or "That was a real rim-shot," would make my brothers and I howl with laughter much to the dismay of our mother who would yell at him for "stinking up the bathroom" again. Ah childhood memories.

No doniker... Yous the bitch... Suck my dick!!!!!!

Rappler,
You have reminded me of a uncle I have. I would describe him very much like your father. One time he whent into the can, also carrying a news paper and came out with something wrapped inside. He said that he had found a little friend in the toilett and wanted to share it with us. My brother and I ran when he threw it at me. It hit my back and went splat all over. I thought for sure it was poop, but it wasnt. He had filled a water balloon (with water) and tossed it. I cried for like an hour cause I wouldn't believe it wasn't doodie.

Layna,

good call

I don't know why so many of you guys have a problem with doniker, but I laugh my ass off reading his comments. Sometimes, his comments are funnier than the story. He makes some coarse comments, but this IS A SITE FOR POOP FANS... so don't be so over-sensitive.

thanks Crapperjohn.

I am glad there is someone like you here that is tough enough to handle my comments.
Hell they are only words...people get bent out of shape about the craziest shit.
Cheers to you CrapperJohn!!

Your story was just a dumb rip off of vanwilder

All I have to say is, POOP: tastiest damn stuff in the galaxy! Trust me on this one folks.

Super,

May I ask why you know poop is tasty? POOP is cool and all, and I'm always down for a good POOP story or whatever needs to be done with POOP. But why the hell would someone eat it? You need help.

Dumps that have the odor of dead bodies and the half-life of atomic waste? Three-little-words: exhaust fan, Glade!

Bicker, bicker, bicker! My God! If Doniker is really gay, then SO BE IT! What difference does it make? I would sure hate to see this site turn into some homophobic shit sling site! ...And I am sure that Dave would agree! Look children, I am gay myself, okay? LIVE WITH IT! What's the matter with some of you Americans? Fortunately for us here in europe, the problem of homophobia is of little consequence. But you there, across the Atlantic, haven't you learned to overcome your puritanical past yet? C'mon now, behave yourselves! There has been many shit oriented websites come and gone, let's dare not screw this one up as well! So I loved to get fucked, have you a problem with that, children? My God in heaven, let's cut the bickering, and get down to the business of S_H_I_T as this is the purpose of this website, okay?

Now that I have left my soapbox, let's shoot the shit! I do sympathise with Jimmy here, as I have had a full history of having very close accidents, as well as actual accidents! I know the feeling as I have IBS as well, the urgency of needing access to a loo and not having it! IBS is no fun with the bloating pains and severe cramping involved. The liquid stool is the least of my worries as that is just (semi_) liquid matter being expelled out of the rectum, but the bloating and distention with the periodic cramping can just be a bit excessive. I had just submitted a story, rather a true account of a trip to the Expo-02 last year when I suppose I could of as well have returned to the Expo grounds and queued for who knows how long for the loo instead of waiting for my friend to return with his car. But I didn't want to take the chance of missing him! That would have been a disaster. (I wound up making my way into the cold water of a tributary of the main river that runs through Yverdon and letting loose there after having an accident in public en route to the centre of the town) So, I know the feeling of IBS, it is no picnic at all!

I am currently on a medication that makes me sensitive to garlic. Whenever I eat it I get terrible gas and explosive ass vomit. Sometimes it is hard to reach the toilet and when I do it tears right through my asshole like a jackhammer. So Jimmy, what happened after you hunkered down for the "long haul"? Did you ass survive the eruption or not?

How did you do on the test?

oooooooooooooooo man that was funny hahahaha - -
U

Good action! Good story! Whatever happened to Jimmy and his dad? I could read some more of this.