Too bad you didn't answer right away when he asked how much it would take to give up his seat.
That was nice story.

What a powerful negotiating tool. Sort of reminds me of the times when my wife calls me on her cell phone from work. She works in the stressful environment of the materity ward and rarely gets a break in her day. Most of the times we'll be talking, when suddenly in the background I'll hear FLUSH! That's true love right there.

Is your wife POONURSE????

Good one, Ty!

P.S. ThreePly--when are we ever gonna get your honeymoon story?

well, after nancy read me this fine story i had a few questions:
what is a phone?
what is the internet?
why did i poop myself?
who are you?

Do you always look through the crack between the door and the stall?? I'd probably get really annoyed if someone did that to me, lol.
But seriously now, nice story, good morals about Shameless Shitting and keen observations on how technology is infiltrating our lives even during our most private moments, not too shabby.

Mr. Wiper:

You gotta get one of these new cell phones. It works wonders for folks in exactly the same position you found yourself in.

See, first of all it has an amplifier in in. Secondly, it has selectable recordings of all kinds of sounds like grunts, farts, groans, etc. So like if you're in a public crapper and some dude is hoggin' the only john, you can key up sounds to make it sound like you're on the verge of crappin' your pants and groanin' and moanin' and trying for all you're worth to hold it back.

The fart sounds on this phone are very realistic and run the gambet from loud and proud to sloppy and squishy.

It even has a voice that says, "Oh god, oh goddam, I'm gonna have to shit in the sink, by god!" which usually brings a quick flush and run by most all potty-hogs.

Anyway, if you're interested, and you sound like you really need on of these babies, gimme an IM for the purchase details.

Peace.

Traylor Hogfart

I am also not a fan of the preverbial "electronic leash" mine stays turned off until i need to make a call. If I was you , and after a few miniutes of listening to that prick on the phone, I may have crapped on the floor and thrown it at him.Inconsiderate yuppie trash

Yeah, I just about blew a gasket laughing at that one, "a hundred acres of prime bottom land".

I still have a question: Why didn't you just blow the ol' butt trumpet BEFORE he finished his call. It would have worked faster than peeking through the stall crack. Always works for me.

"a hundred acres of prime bottom land to unload."

Heh heh.

Good story Wipe. I liked the shameless shitting attitude of those bathroom users - why can't everybody be like that?

http://image.nartbox.com/ecard/swf/040121_dung.swf

I just got into my hotel room for the night (more sales travel) and read all of your hilarious responses to my latest story. My brother is still after me to fire up that cell phone he gave me, Mr. Hogfart, you devil you. Another great laugh from you, dude! See ya in Chat soon, I hope.

I really like your comment, Pinch Shitter. The whole scenario did appeal to the Shameless Shitter in me--I've been into camaraderie crapping all my life. All's well that ended well here--the dude did respond to my obvious throat clearing, and the point of peering into the crack deliberately, Dragon, was definitely to get his attention. It all worked out and made for a great PR story.

P.S. to Dragon: I was some distance away when I was peering through the crack. Did not walk right up to it. Respected his space in that regard.

This is a good story & one that is becoming increasingly true in our society of high tech today..while I'm not a diehard devotee of cell phones, I do have one, & on at least one occasion it has saved mr from an INCREDIBLE jam...however, I have never used one on the pot...that could change tomorrow....

G ras, where are you!?!?!?!
(this story was cool)

I encourage calling people up while on the loo because I like to give people a play-by-play description of my bowl movements. "ok, it's almost out, just another few inches and ahhhhh...wow this one's a beauty!"

First, to Ronald Reagan, how's Nancy? She was the only other cat in the White House I remember besides Spot.
Second, Wiper, I too hate the cell phone, even though I have one, but that's because when you have a hubby in the Army, and he was in Korea, you really appreciate it.
I wonder, then, how long it will be before we have one of our poopreporters write in that they espy someone dropping one into the shitter.
I await the day...................

to walk into that stall directly after someone else just unloaded his hershey highway, takes guts. I can tolerate the smell of my own guts but do'nt care to smell others

The guy didn't stink. Or he had flushed his stuff before I came in. Anyhoo, there was no odor.

omg! that was so hilarious! i should seriously try that and see how much cash i can rack up.

that was a good story
i liked the shameless onversation

A-. Great job!

When my girlfriend (now my wife) were still dating, We talked on the phone every evening. One evening, when our conversation just got started, I had to shit REAL bad. I didn't let on like anything was wrong, so I kept on talking while I trotted off to the bathroom, dropped my britches, sat down on the throne while hanging onto the phone. I then sounded off with an enormous blast on the ass trumpet, followed by a huge plop. What a relief! My girlfriend heard it all despite my efforts to cover the mike. Forgot where the mute button was. "What the heck are you doing?",she asked. "Nothing much",I replied. "You're taking a shit; I know that hollow throne sound when I hear it!, she said with a chuckle. I realized that I was busted. A little embarrassed, I explained that I was not being negligent with my telephone etiquette, but just the coincidence that nature called when she called.