Anacondas lodged in toilets are truly the stuff of which school myths are made. But I am both amused and puzzled by one particular statement: "...it (the turd) had rice in it, which may be a clue"...(to the person's identity, we assume.)

Cooked rice, being a starch like potatoes, usually digests completely, unless we are talking raw, uncooked rice like the kind that is thrown at newlyweds emerging from the church ceremony. So I am getting this bizarre picture of someone swallowing raw rice grains at a wedding ceremony one day, then attending school the next day to push out this humongous turd. Beyond that, however, how is rice in poop, digested or undigested, a clue to the person's identity? Was there someone at school known for pigging out on rice?--i.e.,--"Hey, how ya doin' today, Rice Man? I know what you've been eating, dude!"

Just asking. It's kinda funny to picture all the possibilities.

We had this same thing happen in my high school. To comment on the no toilet paper phenomenon, its not that the poopertrator moved stalls to wipe, its that when he/she flushed, the toiletpaper goes around the turd and goes down while the monster poop remains.. I've seen this in action, trust me. Back in college we had a kid on our floor who used to leave his huge shits in the toilet and hte paper was never there.

Large, thick, ropey turds are always funny. I have personally never seen a monster turd still in full form. Good story Thunderturd.

hey Thunderturd, it would be great if there was a picture to go along with this story! I kinda wanna see it.

Interesting. I believe it, as it has happened to me before. Interesting as well is the rice issue. I was 17 in public school when I had been invited friends at my folks home when they were out for the day as to party. We all got stoned and at one point, my 'Anaconda' (or as I had referred to it the 'Beast') was about 35 cm long (more or less) and at the widest point in diametre, approximately 5cm. OUCH! It was painful pushing that...thing out! In fact it was so huge, that I had to partially stand up as the lead end had actually touched the bowl before it had totally exited my butthole! We tried everything, from trying to break it apart with a fork to pouring some petrol upon it. Well, we never did get it down successfuly, and later after I had chased my friends out as my folks were due home at any moment, I wound up simply picking it up out of the toilet and tossing it out the window above the toilet itself! I had washed my hands afterward, naturaly. So, I sympathise, Mr. Thunderbird, I know what it is like to pinch out such monsters.

Other David, re read the story, Thunderturd was not the pooper.

"Surely no one's butt hole could stretch to that size? "

After you've seen http://goatse.cx you'll never think that again..

ok I just looked at that and OMFG!!!! that was so incredibly disgusting! I know I'm a weirdo cuz I just had to look! but god damn what the hell is wrong with that guy?! lol poopismyfriend, how did you know about that pic? hmm?

You can find that link in every comments section of every story on slashdot.com =P

I am a giant turd layer and I, myself, have laid a few over an inch in diameter. It's not such an amazing thing once you do it a couple of times. However, it does hurt like fucking hell!!!

The only thing I can think of that looks like rice but isn't is larvae. It's possible the shitter had a parasite in his intestines, and the "rice" seen was its hatched eggs. Or, the turd sat so long that flies or whatever deposited its eggs on it. Good story.

Yuk! I mean--YUK!!!

Several things at work here:

Toilet lacks sufficient water pressure to suck the thing down

Turd is super dense so it doesnt break up after repeated flushes

Turd is too long and dense to fit the S curve in the toilet plumbing.

My guess is the former owner was constipated for awhile, his turds dried out and got dense, then he achieved a mastercrap.

Person was probably on a low fiber diet, too. When I eat enough fiber, my turds are lighter, softer, break up when flushing and dont clog the pipes.

My pal Willy used to crap that big when we were little. I never knew how his butt hole stretched that wide until a few years later when we started "experimenting" - heh

i saw a turd that big in the urinal at school once....

i love to give poop a chance

me name es juan and i gotta love a take a shit all day long con mi perro
-juan

poo poo pal
#1 yes.
#2 sounds like SOMEBODY'S not comforatble with other poeples sexuality
#3 yeah
#4 good for you.

u are som sick immature mother fuckers...... the only reason im here is bc my 9 yr old cousin wated "to show me somthing funny"

#1 the picture of the stretched out bunghole mentioned by poopismyfriend is pretty fucking hilarious. i was wondering how it got like that in the first place.
#2 doug you are a homo faggot queer! get off of poopreport and suck willy's dick so it will be lubricated enough to slide up your pimpled asshole again. what a fucking loser.
#3 anti shit if you don't like it here why did you even post? you will definately be back to see if anyone replied to your lame ass comment.
#4 that might have been my huge turd in the story.

Sorry I haven't posted yet. My internet connection's been rubbish recently.

To the Big Wiper, it looked like rice to me. But who knows? I wasn't about to pick it up and have a closer look!

And I know that someone went in with a mobile phone with a camera and took a photo of it. I haven't been able to get my hands on a copy, though.

I doubt it was rice in the log. I bet it was maggots.

Is it true that kids in Australia have to take regular wormers, or is that just some American myth? If it's not, maybe the shitter missed his wormer.

Poo poo pal, I doubt that it wasyour turd in my story. For one thing, I live in Australia, and I'm assuming that most people here are Americans.

Skid Marky Mark, that was just wrong! Gross! lol. A few years ago a one of my husband's friends stayed with us for about 2 weeks after his wife kicked him out. I came home from work one day and there was a shit-covered butter knife in my kitchen sink! I asked him what was up and he said he used it to cut up a large turd and was afraid I would be mad if he threw it away!

Ew, man! I knew there was a reason I never trusted the utensils in those places!

The comment about the guy having to pull it out of the potty with tongs got me thinking....I have a confession. I like to use a lot of toilet paper after a poop. I like my bunghole sparkling clean. I can get away with this at home with the Strong Flush (tm) toilet, but when I go (huh huh) on the road, it's a different story. I was at one of those extended stay hotels once--the kind with the kitchen. I'd just laid some cable, and filled the toilet with paper. I go to flush and nothing happens, just some weak swirling as my paper plugs it up. What could I do? The shame of calling maintentance, who'd just yell at me for using so much paper. So I went to the kitchen, got a spatula, and poked around with it (gag, gag) until the clog was gone. Then I rinsed the spatula off with water and put it back in the drawer. So think about that the next time you're in one of those hotels and are thinking about using the utensils.

I encountered a similar poop experience when i was in the 1st grade. I was happily eating my peanut butter and jelly when i felt a gurgle in my little tummy. I got up to use the potty and when i waslked into the tiny two stall bathroom i was in for a nasty surprise. I went in the first stall and it was all out of paper. So, i moved to the last stall and there it was. In a massive shits full glory. It was sticking 1-2 inches out of the water. The dookie was about a foot long ( but who knows- it dissappeared into the drain and you could'nt really tell where the end was) and approximatly 2- 2 1/4 inches wide. It was extremely dense and a dark allmost black color. It was pretty nasty. But, the thing that stands out most in my mind is, they didn't fix it or clean it up for allmost two weeks, maybe even three.

why do all of my comments get deleted? i had a nice reply to Thunderturd's last entry, but nooooooooooo! Come on, Dave! Free speech!

When I was in college someone unleashed an anaconda of a turd in our fraternity house. This thing was the size of your forearm, and it stuck a good 5 inches out of the water. We took pictures and everything. We never found out who dropped this bomb, but we were having some renovations done, so we naturally blamed them.

"them" being the workmen.

one time my friend took a dump that was sticking out of the water like a brown glacier and while he was urinating it toppled over and rubbed against his sac, leaving some remnents.

*** out of *****, Decent Sotry,

Had a similar experience once at my college summer job. One morning before work, a cow-orker came running into the break room with a huge smile on his face. "You gotta see this," he said. We all gathered in the bathroom to see a turd that was bigger around than the diameter of a baseball and about 10 inches long. Imagine passing that! The donor would be one of the few men on this earth who would have an inkling of what it feels like to give birth. The turd wouldn't flush so we left it there for the maintenance guys to break it up and flush it. No one ever admitted to leaving the brown baby, but we all suspected the old, alcoholic delivery guy who's habit was to dump and run before work.

mastercrap!

My friend called Vigilante Vince did a huge shit which lodged in a toilet similar to your story, however this young warmblooded felt the need to sample is finely laid log, it smelled rather rank too.

You all are not alone! When I was only a decade and a half old, I had been entertaining friends (whatthe hell, we had a party) when my folks were out on a business trip. We got high and I had produced this monster, I affectionally call the 'Beast'. I swear, it was about 35 centimetres (fourteen inches) long and five centimetres (one and three quarter inches) in diametre at its widest point. In other words, it was BIG! In fact it was rather painful upon being ejected from my rectum. Fortunately, as I was relaxed, no injury or signs of bleeding had been observed upon defecating this behemith. It was so large, that the lead end had actually touched the floor of the toilet bowl as I had to half way stand up as to allow it 'room' to manoeuver out of me. Afterwards, as one of my other friends had saw this ---thing---lodged in the toilet, being stoned out of our minds, our attention or focus had been fixed upon this beastly thing, as we tried virtually everthing to dislodge it and flush it down, everything from trying to break it apart with a fork, t o even pouring some petrol upon it! (It never did go down, and long after our little party, before my folks were to have returned, I got brave and grabbed that thing and tossed it out the bathroom window to the garden below.

Poop report is well good, I just made up this ryme,listen. There's a turd at the bottom of the toilet and he's name is wiggly poo. Good eh?

Depends on why you're calling it wiggly. Is it full of worms?

Samdamnit's butthole can get that big. Easy.

Are you measuring the diameter of assholes again, DungDaddy?

Are you ready for your turn?

I also produce mega turds, on a regular basis.

Many are 1.5 to 2 inches in diameter. From experience, never get hemmorhoids if you pass these types of poo, you will never forget the pain.
_______
"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

I have a 4 year old daughter that can take massive shits like that. I can't imagine a skinny little girl can drop almost corndog sized turds, but every few weeks I witness it before my very eyes. She doesn't complain about it hurting or anything, she just calls it her big poopies.

I bet Brintey Spears did that lol

On you tube some you had her carp all over things to get famous

As a teenager I regularly produced what would be called giant craps of up to 2" in diameter and about a foot long. These were around five days worth of shit. I never recall feeling uncomfortable, or in pain, in those days.

Years later, I can still block a toilet with a good sized one, but they aren't quite as big as they used to be, and I go every 1.5 to 2 days now - but I eat a lot more fibre in my diet!