first post

Pretty basic story of constipation here. Nothing to drastic or strange. Although, I've never heard of a bath lossening up the bowels. Good story non-the-less.

Which kind of enema bottle did your wife hand you? I find Fleets work really well when I get constipated...which is kind of a frequent incident

Ah, constipation. I remember I was kept home from school for nearly a week by it as a child. Giant, butt-ripping turds are the worst.

Breach babies can hurt for sure.

Ah, indoor plumbing... The lack of it killed my mother... :]

the carl lewis mark was amazing. huzzah!

When I injured my back I was put on morphine tablets for the pain. Those damn pills make you so constipated that when I finally did shit a week later the turd was so big it had blood all over it. Never take those pills unless you take ex-lax also.

Ah, the drama! I've never been stricken by the Constipper's Curse, but I've had my share of rectum-chafing, metaphor-inducing logs, and just birthing one is a triumph worthy of song.

Thats my name, im cover my buttocks in shit

When I was a kid, I had problems with getting plugged up, I got an enema once, and BANG - the crap came out with such force, I could have gone a quarter way to the moon. The last time I got plugged up beyond my control, my mom told me that I'd probably have to get an enema (oh no) - I looked at her and headed for the toilet. I pryed open my cheeks and shoved the thing out - painful yes, but it's a plus not to get enema'd. Never been constipated since.

Heres some ideas to force the crap out of you:

A Toilet seat set to violent vibration.

A toilet on a centrifuge, and set to high G loading, to force the poop out of you.

I have had big ones before that were big enough to cause a little bit of bleeding. Last time I was constipated was on a road trip, and didnt want to use the outhouse at the camp site.

Oh man.. that description is PRICELESS! "Finally something immovable shifted, and with a few more mighty efforts I birthed what looked like a life-size reproduction of Carl Lewis' quad muscle. It was a single log, pointy on both ends, and with BOTH ends sticking out of the water. We just sat there, staring at each other." I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes, and sympathy in my heart. I've had a lot of trouble with constipation, too, but nothing stool softeners couldn't take care of, so I've never gotten to the enema point.

I was dissappointed that you never used the enema.could you use it today, and then post the results? maybe com of Carl Lewis is still in there and you just don't know it.

Boring. No substance.

stories about constipation aren't that funny. i think diarrhea is funnier.

Dan:
You do not need Fleet enema stories. WHat you really need is to be beaten up.

constipation stories aren't funny...they're, shall I say, entertaining especially when they involve the use of enemas, especially Fleet Enemas

if anyone has any fleet stories, please post them, if anyone knows where I can find pics of men using Fleets, let me know

I posted a pretty funny constipation story in the forums under the unfortunate title of "Hunt for the Brown October". I only used the title because I thought it would be good for another story, whatever that may be.

Dan- I think we are enema soul mates. I have been hooked on enema since my first one at the age of 7. The holding and the final inevitable explosion is too pleasurable for words!!!!

Why do I need to be beaten up?

Okay, dan. I'll fess up. I'm the shit doctor.

Since it seems you are a gay man who has come to this site about crapping, in search of something "interesting" i assumed you are also one of those gay men who goes into public men's rooms in search of something "interesting", and i took the opportunity to suggest you should be beaten up because most men in the shithouse find the prospect of finding someone like you in the shithouse... shall we say, "offensively uninteresting".

so i'm sorry if i took my assumption too far. But if i did not, please at least go and have your feelings hurt somewhere.

(this problem was on my mind from my comments for accidental stall stalker)

shitass,

You did take your assumptions too far, but no harm done. I don't go cruising for sex in public restrooms (however, If I see a cute guy in a restroom,such as at the sink washing his hands (NOT in the stall emptying out his love chute) and I can readily tell he is gay also, I will flirt with him in much the same way as you would a cute lady)

I do enjoy enema sessions with the right guy:)

What really helps that I found out is that when you're constipated, rock back and forth on the seat. That's called the "rocker", it enables you to help squeeze the turd out like taking a rolling pin to a tube of toothpaste. Doing a "rocker"is also known as doing "shit ups".

Fuck! THis whole time i thought "shit ups" were laying on your back with your ass in the air and shitting! what a fool I was!

Ouch. >_

since a young age, I'd accidentally discovered a cheap, effective and always "at-hand" fecal flow facilitator: On those occasions when you know you have to go, but either something or someone interrupts your anal train of thought and causes a pileup on the hershey highway, it often helps to open the nearby cabinet under the sink and chose an interesting soap product. Soap in its wrapper or a shampoo bottle (sometimes even scatroom cleaning agents)usually do the trick. Now, please read on, I don't want any of you poisoning yourselves or getting your fart machine a job on the Lawrence Welk show -- you don't ingest the products or make a soap-ository out of them, all you need to do is simply start reading the ingredients and the little fine prints and comments scattered around the wrapper or label. Since (as I concur) pooping is 49% physical and 51% mental, simply trying to concentrate on pronouncing the word methylisochlorothiazolinone, or the simpler sodium lareth sulfate / ammonium lauryl sulfate is like simultaneously pressing the Ctrl/Alt Delete buttons on your brain's poop-Houston (central command for rocket launch). All unnecessary distractions and sources of poop shame usually melt away and the first sparks will start to fly on the launch pad. Before you get to Blue Lake #2 and Guar hydroxybenzoate, you will already be ready for splash down!

I totally agree with you dan, i enjoy that kinda thing too. there is too much prejudice and too many assumptions on this site.

Yesterday, I was took Probenecid for my gout, which required drinking lots of water. I only drank a liter. So, today, I had to do a #2 but, only a few pebbles came out. Still, the urge to go was alive and kicking! Immediately, I tried a remedy I invented called the, "Squeeze ur ass cheeks together" method, to reshape the mass inside for easy passage. No luck! So, I wiped the excess off and headed for my shop. Thank god I was the only one in the building. I grabbed a hand full of surgical gloves and lotion that a co-worker left on her desk.... Come to think of it, (note to self), I'd better return the lotion. Next, I went back into the stall, the ever spacious handicapped stall. I slipped the gloves on, lubed up and whispered, "I'm going in..." Immediately, I hit the pinnacle of my troubles and thought, Huh, this shouldn't be a problem, but, soon, I realized that this was only the tip of the iceberg!! The waste was hard as molding clay and shaped like a lumpy expanding hot air balloon!!! Oh god... I thought to myself feeling around like a blind person touching someone's face. After assessing what I was dealing with, I had to give my legs a break from standing in a squatting position. After the intermission, I went in again. First, I went around the gasket remodeling the clay like substance as close to the diameter of the gasket as possible. The apex of the mass was definitely more difficult to manage so, with three fingers I gripped the area that I modified and slowly pulled the load. At the same time, red in the face, I bared down. Surely enough, the waste began to creep out like a glacier. I tried desperately to pull gradually, but, the pushing sensation against my prostate was too strong and the area I was gripping broke off!! Cursing, I tossed the chunk into the toilet like a pissed off chimp flinging its poo!! After another break, I went back in. Eventually, I managed to modify and extract the remaining monstrosity from my insides. After cleaning up, and feeling like I’ve just been raped in prison. I called my girlfriend to seek counseling. But, she just laughed like a dominatrix and offered to give me an enema the next time I’m constipated. I simply told her,

"I'll sit, and think about it"..