Nice animal references. It's been a while since I've laughed out loud at a story on PR. Good work.

"I stood up like a 90-year-old gravedigger who'd just seen a screening of Gigli." I don't know what this means, but it's funny.

Was this written by Dennis Miller?

ehhhhh, who doesnt get the screaming meanies after chinese food? You should have expected that. You can look at my track record and tell I am no coach, but I do have this advice...dont eat chinese or mexican on a date with a new chick.

I don't know if "fphart" is a deliberate misspelling, but it satisfies me in some odd way to see it written as such.

fphart fpheels fphunny

You should have just shat in her bathroom. You had already asked her if you could use her restroom!! If she had humored you after the incident instead of avoided you - Voila! She's a keeper!

Great story! Was there a 3rd date?

i sadly have no evil comment. this story was one of the funniest i have ever read. one time, someone made a reference to the feeling of "being butfucked by a corpse with gential herpes". that was funny back then, but this is really funny now. tons of nice new terms, and you kept it short. most of these assholes think they are fucking grisham and write out intricate pieces of filth.... check mad shittahs track record. he does it in every one of his posts and every reply.

Oh cry cry cry

Wow you two really go at it...What happened to make you two to hate each other, crappercritic & Mad Shittah? It's probably plaguing many of us who read the comments on the stories.

This story had the best historical references EVER! My stories never even came close.

so did you continue to date her? cool :D

This excellent story moved me to share a tale of shameless shitting in front of my fiancee, his parents, his brother and his brother's fiancee! Flash forward: we're married nearly 13 years, so I guess he understood.

On just my second trip to Nebraska, and newly engaged, my inlaws all picked me up at the airport to meet me for the first time, take me to an early dinner and then bring me "back to the farm." I didn't think I was all that nervous and the meal was going pretty well, when my father-in-law-to-be suddenly spouted, "You're the first Jew we ever met!"

My jaw dropped. My heart sank. So did my gut. This was my new "family?" I had no retort. Worse, my fiancee didn't even blink. I lost my appetite. When dinner was over, my inlaws-to-be introduced me to several people they knew in the restaurant, saying "this is going to be our daughter-in-law from New York, she's a Jew." People smiled knowingly at me. One woman actually said to me, "oh, we watch Seinfeld, and think he's very comical."

The ride to the farm was 70 miles, and my stomach began acting up something fierce. My head was reeling, too. We never passed a single rest stop, and then we hit the 9 mile dirt road to the farm. My inlaws were yakking away about God knows what. I was doubled over but too afraid to speak up, knowing full well that I would have to ask my father-in-law-to-be to stop the car, and let me out, so I could take a shit on the dirt road leading up to his house! But when nature calls, you do as you must ... and I suddenly bellowed, "stop the car! I'm going to be sick!"

He screeched the car to a halt, and the dust on the road was so bad I could barely see once I climbed out of the back seat. I ran around to the rear of the car, pulled down my pants, and took an enormous dump, in full view of my fiancee and his family, all of whom were watching in the rear view mirrors. It wasn't a quick dump either --- I was bent over for a good 10 minutes. I kept praying for lightning to strike me dead, rather than have to get back in that car. Alas, the skies were clear.

What else could I do? Tens of miles from nowhere, with the man I had agreed to marry mere feet away, I had no choice but to pull up my pants and climb back inside the car. Should I say anything? What was there to tell? You could hear a pin drop ... no one said a word to me, no one looked at me. No one brought it up, not one time, to this day, not even my husband.

That was a great story. OTOH, the "poop of the week" is the most disgusting thing I've ever read.

We dont go at it, he attacks me! I am a victim! Oh, for shame, someone tell this cockass to leave me alone. He is so mean, and all I wanted was to be his friend. Cant we all just get along? Cockass?

have i been rough with you before madshittah? i thought it was only doniker and i that had fun with each other. dag yo, i didnt mean to jock you!

Haha. Mao's uprising. I prefer Che or Trotsky myself but have at thee

The sad thing is, in reality, humans should feel free to shit in eachothers houses. In the recent past, and I swear, into the future, I will be sure to put any possible mate to the shit-in-front-of-or-within-eashot test. If they cant hang, I dont want to waste my time. I'd let him/her/it shit in fornt of me! Heck, I'll sit on his lap! I'm fucking seriosu.

Always give your date the ol' shit test. If he/she doesn't want to be around you just because you took a major crap, they are probably some kind of psycho sadist anyway. Give 'em the old heave-ho!

That is why you shoulden't be shameful about your shiting. If she loves you (really really loves you) you can shit in her living room and she won't mind.

If she lives in a place with that bathroom, perhaps she likes it that way.

A Saddam? That is not good now.

Does this mean that the poop hangs in some way?
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"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

Rule #1: Never ever poop your pants if you can help it.

Sits On Bowl- Your name alone causes me to have giggles.
Producing waste since 1967

That was a great story come on give us more! I like the name too.
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!