The worst thing that ever happened to me was when I was sick at the zoo.

I was about 12 and was gonna spend the night at my 9-year-old cousins house. The zoo had a late night concert that we went too every year. I was with him, his parents and my dad.

I had to take a serious crap. My stomach hurt so bad I couldn't breathe. I finally started walking away. Alone in the huge zoo, I was scared. Eventually I walked into a trailer that had five stalls made by Port-a-Potty. There was a line and i had to go. I wanted to run but moving of the butt cheeks isn't good.

My walk over was horrible, and as a vendor started to harrass me to play his balloon game, a little shit squirted out like mustard. I HAD TO SLEEP IN THESE CLOTHES. I walked up... skipped the line and went in.

One stall was seemingly almost open. A little kid was in there laughing about wiping his pee-pee hole. I almost opened the door and kicked him in his face. Three minutes and three ounces of brown later, the door opened. There was piss all over but I didn't have time to care. I plopped down and let out the largest, splashiest crap ever.

I heard people laughing and making comments but I didn't care. All the chunks and cream blew out and it was over. I scooped the dung outa my pants and used the 1-ply paper to clean up my ass and legs.

I walked out, not making eye contact with anyone. I got back to my dad and said I didn't want to spend the night because I had a report do in school. He said I could stay home and I did. No one ever knew!
-- Justin