Eggplant: The Natural Laxative
I think that I discovered the perfect laxative (besides coffee). This perfect laxative is all natural, and you can grow it in your garden and cook in many different ways; it is called eggplant. I never knew this vegetable could have such a laxative effect until about a year or so ago. I was suffering from major constipation to the tune of not pooping in three days. I cannot say exactly what triggered this bout of constipation, one which gave me more discomfort than when I experience an IBS flare-up; I can only surmise that it was due to my unemployed status and lack of available jobs at the time. I am an IBS sufferer, and this type of shituation for me is almost unheard of, but it happened.
If they were my only choices, I would rather have diarrhea than constipation. I was at my wits end by the third day of suffering from this dreadful condition, and looked like I was nine months pregnant, because I was so bloated from not pooping. My mother took my wife, Little Shitake, and me out for dinner that night for some Italian food. I was thinking Italian food was the last thing I needed with the known fact that cheese has the tendency to constipate.
She noticed how bloated I was, and wondered why I was gaining weight. My wife promptly informed her that I was constipated, and hence, the bloating. My mother then suggested that I have an eggplant for dinner, and that it usually helped her. Did I mention that I like eggplant? The only eggplant dish the restaurant served was eggplant Parmigiana, so I ordered that and an iced tea, and I hoped for the best. The meal was delicious, and while there was cheese on it, it was not smothered in cheese.
To make a long story short, the eggplant worked, and worked like a charm. Within an hour after arriving home, my stomach started to announce that familiar "I have to poop now" gurgle which I had not felt in three days. I had the most blissful poop that I have ever had. Three days of poop emerged, filling the bowl, and coming out so effortlessly and painlessly that I hardly needed to wipe afterward. I was on the toilet for close to 45 minutes, and they wound up being the best 45 minutes of my life. But it didn't end there: I found myself back in the bathroom for two encore visits, prior to going to bed for the evening. The best part was that I didn't need to use the Fleet laxative that I had bought earlier in the day and had planned on taking the next morning.
Now whenever I eat eggplant, especially when my mother is with me, she likes to jokingly say, "I know what you will be doing in the next hour or two."
I reply back to her, "So do I, Mom. So do I. "
I highly recommend eating eggplant for a natural, comfortable cure for constipation.