i poop and i vote

Sharing The Throne

Posted 10.20.2003 by Joe Anybody (10)
Editor's Note: This story is appearing as part of Possibly Fake Poop Story Week.

My name is Matt and I'm 14 years old. I have learned at a young age that you can't eat whatever you want and not have repercussions. I had eaten five burritos loaded with hot sauce for lunch, three bowls of bean chili for dinner and two bowls of bran cereal for breakfast the following morning. This might sound like a lot of food, but I was told that when a kid goes through puberty they eat more. I'm not fat or anything.

My girlfriend Sarah invited me over to her house that afternoon. Her parents were gone and only her 13-year-old brother was there, so she thought we could hang out. It sounded cool to me. She's not the type that likes to "do it," but I'm cool with that.

As I was going to her house, I felt my stomach churn. Not just churn -- more like shake like a 9.2 magnitude earthquake. It made me stop in my tracks. Then I felt something large in my gut. It didn't hurt, so I continued on.

When I reached Sarah's house, I began to feel hot. It was summer, but only in the upper 60's with wind. Sarah greeted me at the door. She had commented that I looked a little pale, but I told her I felt fine.

We went to her bedroom. She had said that she was going to take a shower, so to get comfortable. I had not seen her brother around, so I asked her what happened to him. She said he was in the bathroom and had been in there for 45 minutes.

Sarah went to take a shower. I just sat there in her room to wait for her. I knew I would have to wait a while. All of a sudden, I felt something growing in my intestine. Just some gas, I thought...

I was wrong! It began to feel solid, and it kept growing! I had to go NOW! Gripping my stomach, I went to find the other bathroom that Sarah wasn't using. I opened the door, and saw Sarah's brother taking a dump. What was I going to do?

"I gotta use the toilet or I'm gonna crap my pants and all over the floor," I said to Sarah's brother.

"I'm taking a big dump and can't stop," Sarah's brother said to me.

"Oh God, I'm gonna explode!" I said. The pressure in my gut was unbearable. I pulled down my pants and tightie-whities. I hopped over to Sarah's brother on the toilet and squatted on his lap. I told him to sit back on the toilet and spread his legs apart. Then I let it rip.

"Dude, stop!" Sarah's brother said. But I couldn't stop. Chunky diarrhea exploded out of my ass. I know I was taking a dump on his dick, but I began to feel relieved in my gut.

We both sat there in silence for the next twenty minutes. I had a lot of gas, so I felt bad knowing that I was farting literally in Sarah's brother's face. I had explosive, chunky diarrhea for most of the time. Finally the end came. I had one large dump to finish it all off. No kidding, it was about four inches in diameter and about a foot long!

"Big dump," Sarah's brother said after the twenty-minute silence.

We were both finished. I got up off of his lap and he got up off the toilet. The toilet was filled to the top with out crap! Sarah's brother had to wash his dick off afterward. I wiped myself a bunch of times and pulled up my tightie-whities and my pants and went home. I was so embarrassed by the ordeal that I didn't talk to Sarah for a little while. I'm still not sure if she knew what happened.

It felt great when I took that dump, but I never want to go like that again.

-- Joe Anybody



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Tydirium (516) -- 10.20.2003

I can't figure out if that is someone trying to come up with the most outrageous story possible, or it's some bizarre thinly-hidden sexual thing. Either way, it's fake -- no one would let their sister's boyfriend splatter poop all over their bare lap for more than 10 minutes, tops.

PoopIsMyFriend (not verified) -- 10.20.2003

I know it's fake, but i still thought it was hilarious lol

The Big Wiper (2244) -- 10.20.2003

Ha! If Sarah's little brother had already been in there for 45 minutes, as she said, then methinks he was doing something besides the brown thing. Anyhoo, this two-can-shit-as-well-as-one- and-occupy-the-same-space-at-the-same-time is a perfect 100 on the Shitscale of Fake Poopery!

Sarah's Brother (not verified) -- 10.20.2003

By the way, Joe's last name is Scattoli, and he is my hero! I love the dude. He taught me that sharing is important. And you guys may think the story is bunk, but let me tell you that until you've had a couple of gallons of body-temp, chunky burrito poo gush through your thighs and across your wankie, you haven't lived. I am so glad this happened to me at a young age and I didn't have to wait until I was older. Now I can spend the rest of my youth trying to recreate the scene over and over again. Only thing is, it's getting rather expensive buying all that spicy Mexican food for the many friends that are willing to oblige me. Anyway, thanks, Joe, for a wonderful moment I will cherish forever. And by the way, Joe, Sarah knows and is jealous that you didn't shower off with her that wonderous day.

ThreePly (not verified) -- 10.20.2003

After reading stories like this, I have a totally new respect for Dave. God only knows what other painfully fake stories he has to sift through before finding the golden nuggets.

I don't care how shameful you may be. In that situation, I would've shit in the toilet right next to my 14-year-old girlfriend. For little brother to just sit there and take another man's shit in the crotch is just far beyond the reach of reality. Unless you're into that homoerotic-scatological stuff...

Di Uhreea (409) -- 10.20.2003

If Joe had nudged Sarah's brother backwards on the toilet, wouldn't the brother's asshole be on the seat? How could they both crap at the same time? Also, get the mental picture of being the brother....Someone is sitting in front of you with explosive Ass Pee coming out of their butt. Would you not be puking all down the dudes back and therefore be adding to the contents in the bowl that was already "filled to the top" with crap? Lastly, what kind of freak wouldn't jump up and get in the tub/shower/sink the very second that some dude shit all over his dick?? He sat there for 20 minutes?

PJbrownstuff (60) -- 10.20.2003

I think these stories should have a permanent place on PR. They are so much better than most of the "real" stories these days.

Disco Poo (31) -- 10.20.2003

That was so incredibly fake, but it was also one of the funniest things I've read here in awhile!

Shitfaced (not verified) -- 10.20.2003

This story sucked. There is one toy toy in the house? Do they live in fucking trailer? I think this guy sat on the little lads dick and fucked it dirty. This site sucks.

Shitdick (not verified) -- 10.20.2003

OK here is a good one. I went home and had to shit, saw my old man on the pot, spread his legs and shit on the dog. I agree with Shitfaced - this story sucked.

PooDigidy (not verified) -- 10.21.2003

that story did gave me the shits. it sucked.

cockboy thats fucking grose. go screw your mom

Lady Ballbuster (not verified) -- 10.22.2003

No pun intended, but this is such a load of crap. Anyone who had the runs that bad, and found the toilet already occupied, would let it fly into a wastebasket, sink, or whatever. There's no way two people could unload on the same throne!

Do people have such uninteresting shit lives, that they have to make up shit tales? Speaking as someone with irritable bowel syndrome, I can vouch for PR's claim that nature is plenty adept at giving us a variety of possibilities for shit stories. Why tamper with perfection?

let-it-flow (not verified) -- 10.22.2003

Alright, I have Crohn's disease,...(have had it since I was 15), and consequently, all I EVER have is diarrhea!!! So, as you can guess, I've come up with some pretty creative ways of "disposing" of it!
Needless to say, I would have grabbed a coffee can, a trash bag, or even run outside, before I shit all over someone like that! WHAT was this guy thinking?!

Poopkorn (not verified) -- 10.23.2003

The writer of this story has some serious issues he needs to deal with.

doniker (1535) -- 10.23.2003

This incident should be made into a movie...including the 2 guys sitting on the toilet in 20 minutes of silence.

I could watch this.

the_brown_word (not verified) -- 10.23.2003

Fuck. That was, although quite fake, a possible sexual fantasy. I am sick.

smears happen (not verified) -- 10.23.2003

strange...it made me laugh, but seemed a little to fake, 2 people pooping on the same toilet. it just doesn't seem very true to me.

EricPooped (not verified) -- 11.01.2003

you mean Sarah's brother was pooping for 45mins....when Matt come in and dumped his load though his lets for 20mins that means he spent over a hour sitting on the toilet....who in the world would sit on a toilet for an hour

nunyabizz (not verified) -- 11.11.2003

although slightly amusing this story kinda made me mad. does anyone actually think this is true? i mean, c'mon!

Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 01.18.2006

it is real! i have pooed with friends before and let me tell you it is great!

The Dumpster (2506) -- 01.18.2006

At the risk of throwing a Molotov Cocktail down the PR chute, may I say that I cannot BELIEVE doniker's reply above that "[he] could watch this."

Doniker, watch out--some closet poofter is posting under your moniker!

Dungkey (not verified) -- 03.07.2006

That was.........interesting.....yikes!

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i poop and i vote
 


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