On any given day, it could happen to any of us.

No time to wallow in the mire......you should have got out the car quicker, saved some grief.

It`s one thing to have to sit on your own old dried shit in the car seat, but not someone else`s.

Have you gone back to the restaurant to tell them (in general) what their food did to you? Alternatively, have you told the Health Dept.? It is a serious violation to serve spoiled food, and most likely others got sick also. My own experiences with Subway have been good, so probably that restaurant had some spoiled meat or mayo and may not have known.

I have known several people over the years that have gotten ill after eating at Subway.

The Subway store near where I used to work got shut down by the health inspectors because of so many violations.

Nowadays these losers who have no experience in the food business open up franchises of these Subways, Mr. Hero's, etc. and they cut corners by using stale bread and old food.

I would eat a turd before I ate at Subway.

CEP, one of the health violations at that Subway I was talking about was that they found rodent droppings.

There is a chance that if you ate at Subway you would be eating a turd.

Leather seats...evidence wipes up in a snap!

Subway is awesome. Sometimes you gotta take one for the team though.

Now we know how Jason really lost 145 pounds eating at Subway.MSG is right.I would think others got sick.That Subway should be depth charged.

Ummm... CC wouldn't that be Jared? But minor details aside, it is totally plausible that he lost all that weight by eating subs and shitting subs.

That gives me a great idea: I'm gonna eat at Taco Hell every day and lose weight too! Since I'm extremely lactose intolerant, all that cheese and sour cream ought to induce some serious diarrhea!! I could stand to lose a few pounds, and that's the way I'm gonna doo it!

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Shitwit you could get the same results doing the OLD crappers diet of Kashi with garlic mixed with broccoli rabe. Not only is the gas amazing but this morning I just produced not ONE but TWO of the MOST AMAZING dumps ever. I feel 20 pounds lighter. ahhhhhhhhh.
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

oh boy...I didn't want to consider it possible when reading comments earlier this week which asked if poop report was one foot off the ground in the midst of a shark jump but this story may confirm it. While the writing isn't too bad it generally feels like a high school book report and the story is l-a-m-e.

I have to guess doniker's kid wrote it because this is the type of story he'd normally trash.

finally a poop story where the PR finally shit his pants! A+

"I called Jen and she said the exact same thing had happened to her."

So, why did your date go out to her parents' car and shit in her pants in the driver's seat? I would think that, because she was already home, she could have shit in the driveway. That way she could just cover it up with snow afterwards.
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The 11th Commandment -- Verily, verily, I say unto you, eat thee neither yellow nor brown snow.

There is nothing worse than food poisoning squirts. The cramps and the lack of control?
Blargh. Pass the Ginger ale please.

Jason From Subway wrote:

"I have to guess doniker's kid wrote it because this is the type of story he'd normally trash."

The story wasn't the greatest, but it wasn't that bad.

Any story that bashes Subway is alright in my opinion; Subway sucks and they rip off thousands of unsuspecting consumers everyday with their shitty food.

Star Jones, cats, IBS, fat jokes, Rosie, Hillary, etc etc...

Oh, like you weren't expecting it?

Bilge is to PoopReport what Jackson Pollock was to art. Just as Jackson dispensed with the conventions not only of representationalism, but of brush and easel, Bilge, in lodging his critiques, now dispenses with sentences or coherent thoughts or even remaining upright while tapping away on his keyboard (though doniker, I think, first introduced this). Now, the big B challenges us to anticipate where he's going, so that we are no longer surprised by his dribblings. What a fucking trend setter.

Yeah, I'm good like that.

Assassin, I think your parents acted like idiots. Any kid who gets as sick as you were and then spent the rest of the night suffering should not be punished or admonished for eating bad food and getting the runs. Had one of the Things done this (my kids), sure I'd be upset, but only because there was poo in the car, not because my child got sick.

I hope both of your parents get a bad meal at the local Country Buffet and end up pooping their pants on the ride home. Then, I hope the window controls freeze so they can't put them down. After they can't get the windows down, I hope both of them have to endure each other's stanky-gas for the entirety of the ride home to the sounds of Boxcar Willie at sound level 9 because the radio knob falls off and into a puddle of piddle on the floor when they try to change the station. When they get out of the car and go towards the house, covered in their own butt juice, I hope they open the door to the house to be accosted by 50 of their closest family and friends due to the fact that they'd planned a surprise party, where they will end up standing pissed and forlorn in the doorway of their own home, covered in their own poo. As butt mudd congeals into little puddles at their feet, one of your cousins will grab his mother's skirt and start to cry, stating that "I don't want to kiss Gam Gam because she's got poop on her legs." Then, and only then, will I rest, satisfied that justice has been done and empathy restored.

Welcome to Poopreport.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Daphne, that was funny.

Boxcar Willie's Greatest Hits will be available soon in The Poop Report Store.

Decent story, but I dont think any of it is true:

1. When you're sixteen years old you dont talk with "babes" about shitting yourself.

2. Neither do you tell your parents ANYTHING unless they force it out of you.

3. Why were you worried about your clothes? They can be washed. The car seat, on the other hand, is what any reasonable person would be worried about.

4. Subway restaurants are notoriously clean and sterile, and the food system there is designed to prevent this kind of thing.

5. I think the kid just has some kind of axe to grind with subway. Most likely his ass was fired from there.

Food poisoning is one of the reasons I gave up eating meat. Sure, I can still get food poisoning but my odds are significantly reduced.

I was in a Subway store recently, and while looking at the ingredients sitting in the display I noticed that the Roast Beef slices had GREEN on them.

Pin, you probably just saw the meat from their NEW SOUTHWESTERN FIESTA GUACAMOLE BEEF HEARTY SUB! It was recently introduced along with their new GREEN EGGS AND HAM SUB (no artificial coloring added).

Welcome to Subway, would you like to try our new Southwestern Fiesta sub! You get a free side of Pepto with it! (Little sample sized pepto bismol bottle) That'd be a huge improvement. Biggest offender for me is McDonald's. They're doing that 2/3 deal on the fish sandwiches. I can't do the drive-through anymore.

I can understand an immediate response of anger at having to clean shit off of my car seat when I let my kid borrow it, but why would anyone ground their kid for this? "Have you learned your lesson? Has not going out of the house for a month taught you not to get food poisoning and shit your pants?"
I don't think this is completely fake, I've had similiar occurances (although I always make it to the bathroom in time), and my ex-girlfriend and I were pretty open about poop in high school (at least I was... probably why she broke up with me).
Come to think of it, my current girlfriend refuses to ever go back to Subway after she got sick from it once. 10-to-1 she had the shits from some bad food.

As we know from the lands of politics and religion, fake is in the eye of the beholder.
All one needs from a true story is to be able to see it played out on the mind's television set. All I ask from fiction is originality, but then later I ask for other stuff like pretty good writing and some wit.
This sounds like a true story to me because of the insertion of a few minor details like slushy roads (it could be a long way, or the poop could happen faster).
I agree with daphne. My whole impression of the story was one of bad parenting. Blaming a kid for getting sick, then rubbing his nose in it for a week while, no doubt, he has to explain it to his friends, relatives and neighbors is really sick. Not steam cleaning the seat could provide years of embarrassing rehashes.
Be careful about cursing them, though. Wiccan tradition states that the curse comes back three fold. Either that or you could get some extra time in Purgatory, or return as a pinworm.

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No ooze is good ooze.

I did not curse them - I wished them to learn empathy through their own shameful experience.

It would suck to be a pinworm. There are some really nasty butts out there.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Both a curse and a wish can be a prayer for good. I know what you meant.

I've been to your zoo. Very cute. And spacey! It will take many visits to see it all.
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No ooze is good ooze.

Your parents STILL have that car with the poo print on the driver's seat? It sounds like child abuse to me. You come home sick and they PUNISH you. They made you clean it up out in the cold while you were still sick! When I read this part, anger welled up in me because they neglected you when you needed their help...and some TLC. I don't EVEN know you and I felt sorry for you. I hope you don't feel guilty for not being able to hold the mold(silly putty reference)... or should I say silly potty. I wonder, was your potty training days just as traumatizing? Do you remember?

I have another account and story here... for some reason Dave made this acc and posted this story under it...

I once ingested the hotdogs and bratwursts so bad that I shit my seat. After I got to the toilet I egested what I could still hold in to that point and never felt more appeciative of my toilet. To the my embarrassment the smell was noticed in the kitchen two floors below 10 minutes later and in the apartment the next to us

Last week, I ate at the western most (and northern most) Subway in Nome, Ak. I have to report it was spotless, food was fresh, and the view of Bering Sea from the picture windows is spectacular at sunset (not to mention cute little native girls behind counter). I highly recommend it.

at least ur not alone and your parent whats up with them

The Subway that I frequent is always clean and the food is always fresh. The staff are a happy, friendly lot, and I've never had a problem there.
Once, years ago, when I was a suburban train driver, I ate a dodgy meat pie from a shop at Central (Sydney's main railway station). Afterwards, while I was driving the train, I got pretty sick and chundered out the cab window but luckily I didn't shit my pants. I was cold and clammy and shaking. I had to get out of the cab at the next station and ring up to get a relief driver to come out and take the train. This caused a hell of a delay to the services that day, but I was too wobbly to drive.
I still love a good pie, but its one of those experiences that I'll never forget.

i shit my self once...at school. on top of that, i not only shit myself but i also barfed at the same time. fuckin embarrassing

BM, I don't mind occasionally seeing a clammy looking train or bus driver climb out the cab window. It's the airline pilots that scare me.

There's a lady who works in the Subway in our town who acts likes she'd love her job if she didn't have to make subs and serve people. Every time I've been there, she's polite to the least minimum possibility that she can be, and every comment is a thin veil of sarcasm. Cheerful, non-helpful sarcasm, like she's funny.

It wouldn't bother me so much, but I'm a really nice customer. I'm patient, polite, and always have my money ready and say thank you every time.

The last time I was in there, I asked for cucumbers on my veggie sub, and she said, "As you can see, we don't have any." She said it in this "you're a fucking idiot" way, like I was supposed to know psychically that the empty bin used to hold cucumbers and that I was riding her ass. And she continued to stand there, looking at me with this bright-eyed snottiness. I was so tired of her. It was like "I can tell you to fuck yourself as long as I say it nice." So I got as zen as possible and kindly told her, "That's OK, no problem. I'll just wait while you cut more." and went and sat down in a booth across from the register. She stared at me for a minute until she realized I was serious. What could she say? It's not like it was her job or anything. For a minute I actually think she was contemplating telling me no, but it would have been over the line.

Take that, you snitty Subway cucumber Nazi!

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

I hope you watched her prepare the sammich.

Daphne, you really really need to let Adolphne Shitler out more, you'll be much happier and far more contented.

u are war u eat...and what u shit

Adolphne is a dangerous person; I must be very careful with her. She needs to be kept on a short leash and preferably metal one, as she will chew through leather straps.

Prarie, that's the fun with Subway. They have to make the sammich in front of you. Currently there's a guy who I think is from the work release program at our Subway, and he's the absolute bomb. I hope he stays. He's generous with the cucumber slices.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Subway has to have some of the most disgusting food I've ever eaten! I used to eat there regularly when I was a teenager and I regularly felt like crap. As I grew older I stopped eating there on a regular basis for various reasons, but every once in a while I'd stop in for a sandwich. Every single time I felt like shit afterward! And it wasn't the hygiene of the place, it was the food itself. A Subway can be spotless as a computer clean room, but it's still shit with all the chemicals they put in the food. It's the same reason most other fast food makes me feel like a stepped-on turd.

A friend of mine worked his way through college at Subway and he refuses to eat there after he learned what was in the food. That should tell you something right there.

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Beware the shitticane. Election, 2008.

Here's an interesting epinions.com done on Subway.
Sodium seems to be a big problem
I wonder if this is what makes some people like you, Shitty, sick? The worst thing I feel after eating Subway is a rumbly tummy, but that's most likely because a veggie sub is like a giant salad in bread, and it's the roughage.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

When I was in college I worked at a Ritas' Pizza here in Indiana. One of my coworkers was a juvenile delinquent who could drool into the pizza he made with no one catching on. I always made my own food afterward...

I had the exact same problem before. Subway has always been known to do that.