I can hold any solid turdular matter indefinitely. It's the occasional explosive liquishit food poisoning type ass pressure that has very rarely caused me a problem that must be dealt with immediately (see my "Escort Required" story. At any rate, I will never shit my pants while I have the strength to pull them down. Who cares what the Chinese think anyway? I have seen those feral-human dog eaters shit in public countless times myself.

Although I've never lost the battle with the bung, I constantly underestimate the urgency of my need to go.

I have a bad habit of leaving a public place with readily accessible bathrooms and thinking to myself "I can hold it until I get home." Halfway there I'm clenching and trying to sit directly on my butt crack to hold it in.

By the way...what's a human dog?

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What do you mean you didn't see it? It was right next to the toilet!

There should have been a comma between human and dog. Chinese are feral humans who eat dogs. That's what I meant anyway.

I have NEVER shit my pants since I've been potty trained or plan to do so. My asshole is quite the diva. It only asks once to be relieved. If the opportunity is not taken within minutes it says, "Screw you, I quit." and I have to coax it into releasing my turd. My colon is such an asshole!

I thought a human dog was kinda like an English pig dog. Monty Python.

Wait wait. I take that back. I did brown my pants once, but it was in the privacy of my own bathroom. I was blowing chunks into the toilet and the force pushed some out the back.

_My thoughts are you, Professor are normal. It happens every blue moon to most people. They just do not let anyone know it has happened to them.______
Producing waste since 1967

Of course everybody has had this feeling. Think back to when you were being potty-trained. I'm sure that each of us tried desperately to hold on until Mom could get us to a shitter, only to lose the battle. Do you think that it was any less uncomfortable for you as a child than it is for you now? To me the only diffence is that, now you have a long-term memory and you have an adult's understanding of personal dignity.

It seems that as we enter the world, so we exit. I'm betting that when each of us becomes decrepit old codgers, we'll be shitting our britches just like our dead forebears. Unless, of course, we die at a young age, which is a different kind of tragedy.

So, Prof, you are not alone in this. Don't think of this as a stuggle that you alone must bear; think of it as the inevitable destiny for all of humanity. And, if worse comes to worst, blame it on that order of Pooch Lo Mein from the street vendor cart.

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Deja Poo - Because this shit's so strange, it couldn't ever have happened before.

Like I told the poor soul that shit in his pants front the house of the old bitch that Saturday night, you gotta change your diet. I lived in a third world country for several years and never had a problem. I watched what I ate and always ordered hot water or tea with my meals. Before eating I always dipped the utensils in the hot liquid before using them. I never got sick. Your story would have been funnier if you shit in your pants.

Really, I'm glad you made it, man. But you shouldn't be too shy. The yellow devils dispise you already. I've never been to China, but my best friend lived there for some years and from his stories, dropping trow and pouring one into the street doesn't sound too uncommon.

After a night of drinking I've been there too, and many a time. You're not hitting the Sauki too hard are you?

Yes! I've had the experience a few times. More times than I'd like to admit. I can usually hold it long enough to walk or drive home, but a couple times, I could not stop the moving train. The most recent time was a few years ago.

I had a long drive to a meeting in a bar. I had the urge to go, but figured I'd have a potty in about 20 minutes. I forgot that finding a parking spot takes another 15!

Funny story: as soon as I got to the bar, I beelined it for the potty. As soon as I dropped my pants, a giant turd came tumbling out of my drawers onto the floor. It was quite a sight. It just shot out at the first opportunity.

I'm not sure how or why this happens. I'm usually very regular - you can set your watch by my AM dump. But once in a while, everybody wants out at once. Must have been last call.

Prof, at your age, not that you're old mind you ... but at your age, it could be anything, could be nothing, that causes your bowels to act out of character once in awhile. One thing we as human excrement makers like to have predictible in our lives is the ability to expel the masses. What was once always predictible in my life suddenly became unpredictible during the first week of Jan. '07. Got a bad case of the squirts that lasted a week! Over the next few weeks, when these bouts would attack, I became incontinent and I don't mean pee. This could make a person not want to leave the house. These bouts went on and off until mid-March when I finally sought medical advice. A couple doctors later and a few tests, including the rotor rooter, I've been diagnosed with divertiulosis. Small, simple changes in my eating habits have rectumfied the problem and now I'm expelling healthy floaters. I DO NOT try to hold back when I have the urge - this makes matters worse. The thing about healthy pooh is that you should not have to push hard to get it out. Good luck Prof, get yourself checked out if you need that peace of mind. I hope you do not end up in Depends before you are at leaset 80.

I definitely suffer from the occasional urgent shits like you've described. I went through a period where it was almost daily, I had severe and painful cramps and accompanying explosive diarrhea, a wretched yellow brown concoction. Many times I nearly didn't make it in time, as I was working cleaning pools for my summer job and had to find nearby washrooms at gas stations and restaurants.

I'm much better now, but still have this happen at least a few times per year. Doctors basically tell me it's irritable bowel syndrome. Seems to run in the family, and is largely controlled by diet. Sometimes I can eat well and still have an attack though.

By the sound of your sitauation, you're probably having occassional minor bouts of food poisoning - far more common than peole realise. Try to avoid some of the street food in China, some can be pretty sketchy.

As for the asshole(s) referring to the Chinese as feral animals, you seriously have your head so far up your own ass you must enjoy licking your intestines clean. How someone can be so articulate and yet blatently retarded is beyond me. Eating dogs is odd? Certainly no stranger than eating any other animal.

Yes, I feel it is very normal. I have these sudden strong urges several times a year. It is not the normal BM that causes it though. With me it is the air powered shits! I can recall stopping on the road shoulder and emptying the contents of a container in the back seat and using it for an emergency toilet. I would not have made it another mile!

Suffering Anally, thank you for having some vestige of humanity within you. Those racist Idiots need to keep their stereotypical hate to themselves.

And here I thought I was living in the 21st Century.

I can totally relate. I've not yet not made it but it's gotten desparate. I have experience with "sharts", where you think it's just a big fart coming but you're wrong, but that's another story.
My wife and I freely discuss our pooping habits. I'm a freight train, usually. My bowels usually clear within about 24 hours. I'm usually a 3+ per day pooper, she's a one-or-less. We eat pretty much identically. Some people are just like that. I think if I were a slow pooper I'd probably weigh 100 lbs more than I do, so I'm not complaining.

Go native..Leave something under a tree.

I can definitely say I very rarely need to push my poop out. Usually the problem is keeping it in! When I have to poop, I just sit on the toilet and relax, and it just comes out on its own terms.

i can usually hold my poo for days at a time if i need to but great story non the less
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i have met many people that talk like asses but i have not met many asses that talk like people