A Poopreport Short: Awkward

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It all started in school, as it always does. My friend and I were hiding in the bathroom ...well more like staking out. A lot of people had been stealing money and such from students' blazers in the lockers near the bathrooms. Hiding in the stall, we wished to catch the culprit.

Then a girl rushed--I have no idea who--moaning and groaning. She flung open a toilet stall and let loose. The sound and the smell of the farts were enough to make any person go deaf and blind. The girl must have thought she was alone. With the last squeak of a fart, my friend giggled hysterically and shouted, "Wow! What did you have for lunch?" That set of all off, and the girl rushed out of the bathroom in tears.

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3 Comments on "A Poopreport Short: Awkward"

Anonymous's picture
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Sounds like the scene from the first "Harold and Kumar". You stunk my battle shit!

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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How can you catch someone rifling the lockers from inside a restroom, which presumably had a closed door between you and the theft site? My sympathies go to the poor girl, who it seems wasn't feeling well to begin with, who probably had loud runny diarrhea (embarrassing enough), and then got laughed at for it? When do you think will be the next time she moves her bowels in that bathroom? I can envision all sorts of bad situations for her as she tries to hold back her poop, expecially if her diarrhea this time came from a chronic condition (IBS, Crohn's Disease, etc.). Author does not specify whether he/she is a boy or a girl. If a girl, that is bad enough; if a boy, this escapade could be illegal.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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Perhaps I attended school in an old fashioned era but back in the 1950s lockers had locks on them that pretty much prevented thefts. I have an idea that may be the reason they were called "lockers" in the first place. Even though locks were protecting our "valuables I knew no one who was foolish enough to stash their money in a locker. We had very little of it and carried it with us in wallets, change purses, etc.

Like MSG I have trouble envisioning how a person crouching in a toilet stall could possibly detect the occurrence of a theft through both a stall door and the main bathroom door. Nice try Anonymous but I must shout fake in a loud and sonorous voice.

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!